Word Peddler

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph? Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Joseph: The sign said, "SCHOOL AHEAD. GO SLOW!"

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.

When in doubt tell the truth.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.