The Truant Tales

Yesterday, someone reported that a Sai Baba marble Idol had opened one of its eyes (The idol was initially posed in penance with both its eyes closed). A few hours later, hundreds of people thronged the place, to catch a glimpse of this 'miracle'.

The family that owned the idol - a phenol merchant, his wife and their son - were cleaning the idol when they saw the marble idol wink and its left eye open up. I strongly suspect that phenol vapours had something to do with the hallucination.

What irks me is that moments later, a crowd arrived to catch this act of God. None of them bothered to cross check if the eye was painted on. And apparently the phenol merchant was selling souvenirs there.

Its sad to say that such cases of blind belief are common in India. The most famous one was in the late nineties, when a Ganesha Idol 'drank' milk. If you tilted a bottle towards this idol, the idol drinks the milk. Millions of imbeciles gathered and presumably a lot of milk was wasted. On further investigation (i.e by a guy who studied science till the 10th standard), it was clear that the clay idol was porous and absorbent. Which meant that it 'drank' any liquid - Milk, water, coke and maybe even been (nobody tried). It even absorbed liquids through its hair, stomach, arms and other part which they didn't try.

But the 'miracle' that is most vivid, is one that happened last year in Mahim, Mumbai. During the festivities marking the birth anniversary of some medieval saint, when people noticed that the sea water tasted sweet (Why someone would taste it, is a question for another post). A 'Miracle', the ignorant screamed. Hundreds more rushed there and they all drank the 'sweet' briny water. 'I can see again', 'My back problem is rectified', 'I can walk again', all things the ignorant said.

It turns out that the sewage treatment plant of a nearby industry broke out and the effluents were being released untreated. Also, Mahim creek is the most polluted creek in Mumbai. It came as no shock when the number of Gastroenteritis cases in that area increased.

There are innumerable such 'miracles'. From Idols changing colours (Painting or coating with a dye), a Bleeding Jesus (good ol' ketchup thrown on the statue) and other such 'miracles'.

Now, I assumed the mantel of God ( a la 'Bruce Almighty), why would I justify my presence to the mortals by performing such asinine displays, which even the local magician PC Sorkar can emulate with easy (and with better conviction). Instead, I'd rather do it in a grander scale, like a million volt of lightening electricity towards a limestone formation and carving out 'GOD RULZ' or 'ATHEISM SUX' or a bust of me or something of that effect. That'd blow everyone's socks off.

PLEASE don't leave me vicious comments, called me a 'Blasphemer', a 'sinner' or anything you twits can come up with. Its my blog, so my opinion supersedes all. If you have an argument, shove it up your gluteus maximus. As far as you're concerned, I'm the plenipotentiary of this blog, ruling with an iron fist, deleting all comments I consider unfit.

Yippie Kay yeaa!!!

Stress dissipating.....
The sparkle in my eye returning.....
drowsiness remains the same (When you're trying to cram 6 months of education in a week of half assed studying, you tend to lose out on a lot of sleep)

Words like Psychrometric processes, Backlash in Involumetry gear profiles, Hagen-Poisuelles derivations, Capstan and Turret Lathes, Adam Bashforth predictor and corrector method for fourth order differentials, etc, are slowly fading away into a dark abyss deep within the bowels of my mind. (Yes. I've been reading Stephen King lately. Misery)