Worst things to happen to me Part III
Thursday, 27. July 2006, 07:35:45
No. 1 : Family get-togethers
Embarrassing, awkward and mostly very boring. My family is hell bent on going to the marraige of people I've never met - like my 3rd cousin's brother-in-laws nephew's wedding. This is made worse by the fact that I've just written the 'life deciding' 12th std board exams and obviously every Tom,Dick and Harry is curious about it.For example if there are 50 people in the function, all of them will ask the same question at different times in the three hours I'll be spending there.
( Conversation No. 1
Mr/Mrs X : So I heard you just wrote the board exams.
Me : Yes ( Will be looking at the exit ).
Mr/Mrs X : So are the results out ?
Me : Yes ( Sweating like hell.Desperately trying to get out ).
Mr/Mrs X : You know last year my niece/nephew got 98% in the boards. So anyway how much did you get?
Me : ( Damn it.My marks are paltry compared to that! )
This happens for the next 3 hours. )
The worst part about this is that out of an average of 50 people that asked me about my academics, I wouldn't have recognized 40 of them and the rest I'd have met after a gap of 5 yrs or so. Notice that there would be no formal introduction in these functions. They won't greet " Hi,I'm Mr So and so related to you by so and so way. How are you?". At the most they'd tell " Hello. When I last saw you were 1 year old and so small. You have grown so much .( I'd be thinking 'Duh' Don't people usually grow. ) Do you remember me. ( How do they expect me to remember them.I was a year old. I ain't a genius )
Matters are made worse by the fact that my father and grandfather are spreading rumours that my chances of getting into the Iits are really high. ( As stated in earlier posts, in actuality my chances were that of George Bush's IQ - 0 Zero )
The only consolation I get is the fact that I'm not the only miserable person in the hall. My cousin sister who is currently doing her MSc and is planning to do a PhD next. The fact that marriage doesn't feature in her immediate plans, raises many eyebrows and set many mouths chattering ( For in India, an outcast is one who hasn't got married at the age of 24, and hasn't had her first kid at the age of 25 or 26. That explains why India has nearly 1.6 Billion people).
These functions seem to be happening very often, as most of my relatives - known and unknown, live in Bangalore. Unfortunately, not one of my relatives are in my age group. Most of my cousins are too young. So when we get-together in their house, I'd be in charge of their entertainment ( Even though its their house ). I'd be forced to see 3 hrs of cartoons, play Pokemon cards with them and then some genius will come up with the idea of showing me their Karate skills. From there all hell breaks loose. I'd be a punching bag to them. They'll demonstrate Arnold's punches, Stallone's Kicks and being small they can't hit above the abdomen. The pain.... I can't retaliate because they'll cry for even the slightest touch. That leaves me with two options. Stay in the room and get punched or join the adults in a painful conversation.
Hence, this has to be no. 1 in my list of worst things to happen to me.
Embarrassing, awkward and mostly very boring. My family is hell bent on going to the marraige of people I've never met - like my 3rd cousin's brother-in-laws nephew's wedding. This is made worse by the fact that I've just written the 'life deciding' 12th std board exams and obviously every Tom,Dick and Harry is curious about it.For example if there are 50 people in the function, all of them will ask the same question at different times in the three hours I'll be spending there.
( Conversation No. 1
Mr/Mrs X : So I heard you just wrote the board exams.
Me : Yes ( Will be looking at the exit ).
Mr/Mrs X : So are the results out ?
Me : Yes ( Sweating like hell.Desperately trying to get out ).
Mr/Mrs X : You know last year my niece/nephew got 98% in the boards. So anyway how much did you get?
Me : ( Damn it.My marks are paltry compared to that! )
This happens for the next 3 hours. )
The worst part about this is that out of an average of 50 people that asked me about my academics, I wouldn't have recognized 40 of them and the rest I'd have met after a gap of 5 yrs or so. Notice that there would be no formal introduction in these functions. They won't greet " Hi,I'm Mr So and so related to you by so and so way. How are you?". At the most they'd tell " Hello. When I last saw you were 1 year old and so small. You have grown so much .( I'd be thinking 'Duh' Don't people usually grow. ) Do you remember me. ( How do they expect me to remember them.I was a year old. I ain't a genius )
Matters are made worse by the fact that my father and grandfather are spreading rumours that my chances of getting into the Iits are really high. ( As stated in earlier posts, in actuality my chances were that of George Bush's IQ - 0 Zero )
The only consolation I get is the fact that I'm not the only miserable person in the hall. My cousin sister who is currently doing her MSc and is planning to do a PhD next. The fact that marriage doesn't feature in her immediate plans, raises many eyebrows and set many mouths chattering ( For in India, an outcast is one who hasn't got married at the age of 24, and hasn't had her first kid at the age of 25 or 26. That explains why India has nearly 1.6 Billion people).
These functions seem to be happening very often, as most of my relatives - known and unknown, live in Bangalore. Unfortunately, not one of my relatives are in my age group. Most of my cousins are too young. So when we get-together in their house, I'd be in charge of their entertainment ( Even though its their house ). I'd be forced to see 3 hrs of cartoons, play Pokemon cards with them and then some genius will come up with the idea of showing me their Karate skills. From there all hell breaks loose. I'd be a punching bag to them. They'll demonstrate Arnold's punches, Stallone's Kicks and being small they can't hit above the abdomen. The pain.... I can't retaliate because they'll cry for even the slightest touch. That leaves me with two options. Stay in the room and get punched or join the adults in a painful conversation.
Hence, this has to be no. 1 in my list of worst things to happen to me.
(33%)
