Not ideal, but unique))

The first day I`ve been living since the last week)) May be not exactly living, but feeling that I live. Finally I got those tickets for having 20-day vocation at sea. It`s sad a little that it is me (not Koko) who takes upon all the fuss, but I`m too crazy about my summer to let it take its course. The only thing that bothers me is his self-dependency. As for me, we`ve been together for a rather long time now and to continue the relationships I need to have a man by my side who can afford to take the charge of me. The whole responsibility, I guess, consists of many ones: financial, morale and so on and so force. And if I cannot depend upon him in everything, how can I trust him?! I must want too much(( But the thing is that he`s my Boy(-friend), he`s with me, he`s with me for such a long time and why shouldn`t I request such things?!
I`m a rather concious girl and my god-mother once told me that I shouldn`t show all my brainpower to men as they don`t like clever girls. Yes, may be I can do many things, may be even everything, but it doesn`t mean that I don`t need a strong and firm man by my side. And I want to find him. I don`t want to waste my time on somebody who needs a mother or another strong person by his side. It doesn`t matter what I am, above all I`m a girl and I don`t want to be a man anyway!!