My OperaThoughts about my love life.....
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 5:29:10 AM
So I've realized the only thing that I know I'm good at in relationships, now, is accepting after the fact that I'm not anything to her (them). That I never really was anything but a passing interest. I'm a good plaything for a while, something to try to forget the other guy, or something to that extent, and whether or not she means it as such, that's what I end up as. I also tend to come into the picture at exactly the wrong times. Moving so many times in high school and beyond, you would think that every time would be a new beginning – new friends, new faces, new chances. But no, every time, it got worse... Even when I swore I would not get involved in anything, since I knew I was going to move again soon enough, I would end up falling for someone... Only they wouldn't quite fall back.
And the worst part is... All of them were awesome chicks... And I missed out on them all. Because either their mind was on some asshole who kept hurting her, or I maybe just wasn't good enough, or I was moving soon. Nice guys finish last, so true. I haven't even started the race. I've had no one to run with my whole life.
Most people say adversity makes your stronger... What I've experienced seems more like me becoming more cold and me building bigger walls to keep people and pain out. I feel more and more anti-social in general and less willing than ever to try for relationships, or even speak to chicks on more than a casual basis. Something to that effect.
It's also practically impossible for me to convey how I feel to people. I was always an introvert, becoming more social out of necessity when we began moving a lot during high school. Matures you a lot when you go to three high schools... And a lot more when your dad is gone as well.
And the worst part is... All of them were awesome chicks... And I missed out on them all. Because either their mind was on some asshole who kept hurting her, or I maybe just wasn't good enough, or I was moving soon. Nice guys finish last, so true. I haven't even started the race. I've had no one to run with my whole life.
Most people say adversity makes your stronger... What I've experienced seems more like me becoming more cold and me building bigger walls to keep people and pain out. I feel more and more anti-social in general and less willing than ever to try for relationships, or even speak to chicks on more than a casual basis. Something to that effect.
It's also practically impossible for me to convey how I feel to people. I was always an introvert, becoming more social out of necessity when we began moving a lot during high school. Matures you a lot when you go to three high schools... And a lot more when your dad is gone as well.
