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Velvet Brick Leaders

VELVET-COVERED BRICKS
by Dr. John C. Maxwell

As a child, when I misbehaved, I was sure to receive "The Look" from my father. I have vivid memories of the furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips of The Look. It makes me shudder just to remember it. The Look could cut right through my body and penetrate into my soul. There was nothing comforting about The Look, and, invariably, it signaled impending disciplinary measures. The Look was to be respected, The Look was to be feared, and, above all, The Look was to be avoided.

However, just as I can recall The Look, I also remember the tenderness of my father’s care after he disciplined me. I remember the whispered assurances of his love for me. I remember the warmth of his embrace as he held me in his arms. I remember his tenderness as he gently explained why I had been disciplined and how I could learn from the experience. His was not mean-spirited or severe in his discipline; rather, his loving correction was intended to develop me into a man of character.

Leaders, like my father, must balance toughness and tenderness. My friend, Tim Elmore, describes these leaders as Velvet-Covered Bricks. They are firm and strong on the inside, but soft and pleasant on the outside. In this edition of Leadership Wired, I would like to discuss the qualities of that make a leader into a Velvet-Covered Brick. I am indebted to Tim Elmore for many of the thoughts in this lesson.

Tough But Tender:

Some leaders are so tough they could chew nails, but their insensitivity prevents them from connecting with their employees. Ignorant of the emotions around them, they rely on authority and scare tactics to earn the allegiance of their team.

Other leaders go the extra mile to earn the admiration of those they lead. They love to be seen as the “good guy,” and they go soft on their team. To protect their popularity, they sacrifice healthy confrontation or neglect holding employees accountable.

A Velvet-Covered Brick leader makes difficult decisions, but at the same time, they act as emotional caretakers to the people their choices affect. They instill discipline, but they also provide encouragement and inspiration.

Confront Problems But Consider Perspectives:

Velvet-Covered Brick leaders are not afraid to deal with conflict in order to iron out an unhealthy situation. By actively addressing problems, they are peacemakers as opposed to peacekeepers. At the same time, such a leader remains open to the perspective of others. Although supremely confident, a wise leader knows the fallibility of his or her judgment, and they turn an attentive ear to those who share differing opinions.

Committed to Results and Committed to Relationships:

Leaders with a Velvet-Covered Brick mentality refuse to compromise goals or take the easy road out of tough spots. They relentlessly set the bar high so that the team achieves its potential. Yet, all the while, leaders value people just as much as productivity. They never sacrifice relationships simply to get results.
________________________________________
Leaders find a way for the team to succeed -- that's The Law of Victory - No. 15

Victorious leaders find the alternative to winning unacceptable, so they find out what needs to be done to achieve victory, and then they go after it with everything at their disposal.

Abraham Lincoln never forgot that the nation's victory was his highest priority, ahead of his own pride, reputation and personal comfort. He surrounded himself with the best leaders possible, empowered his generals and was never afraid to give others the credit for the small victories the Union gained. For example, following General Grant's victory at Vicksburg, Lincoln sent a letter to him saying, "I never had any faith, except the general hope that you knew better than I . . . I now wish to make the personal acknowledgment that you were right and I was wrong."

Are you ready to learn to lead like Lincoln? And help your team members - your generals - become better leaders, too? Discover the 21 laws that make leadership work successfully, and learn valuable techniques that will help you to improve your ability to lead.

Incorporate these laws into your life, and you are certain to transform the quality of your leadership immeasurably!

Click here to find out more or call 877-929-0439.
________________________________________
Professional and Personal:

The Velvet-Covered Brick type of leader maintains an aura of professionalism in the workplace at all times. Such a leader stays poised in the most heated moments and keeps control of his or her emotions. While approachable, they reserve part of themselves (their fears, knowledge, insights) so that they can effectively motivate the team from a place of authority.

At the same time, leaders don’t want to come across as aloof, distant, or plastic. The best leaders are warm, genuinely interested in their teammates, and intentional in understanding what makes each person unique. Additionally, to connect with the team, they may show selectively disclose information about themselves or even let down their emotional guard during a meeting.

Take Criticism and Serve the Critic:

Leaders who aspire to be Velvet-Covered Bricks develop thick skin and bypass the desire to retaliate against critics. Instead, they graciously accept criticism and welcome confrontation. Then, they take pains to win over their critics by reaching out them. They go the extra mile to wade through conflict until resolution can be reached.

Respected and Approachable:

A leader earns respect on the basis of what he or she has done. More often than not, respect is gained on difficult ground. Adverse circumstances test the mettle of a leader and show a leader’s true merit.

For a Velvet-Covered Brick leader, respect is balanced by approachability. An approachable leader has a consistent mood, is quick to forgive, willing to apologize, and shows authenticity. A leader at ease with himself puts others at ease. Secure leaders aren’t constantly seeking validation from others, and, as such they are free to add value to those they lead rather than deriving value from the approval of those around them.

People are drawn to leaders who value them. They will approach a leader who makes them feel encouraged, helps them grow, and treats them honestly.

Reviewing the Velvet-Covered Leader:

The Brick
The Velvet
Toughness
Tenderness
Confronts
Problems
Considers Differences
Results-driven
Relational
Professional
Personal
Endures Criticism Serves the Critic
Respectable
Approachable
________________________________________
It is by no accident that John Maxwell has come to be known as a leader of leaders and mentor to thousands – his path and his purpose have been a single, straight thread since childhood. From the pulpit to the boardroom, his focus has always been to equip and inspire leaders at all levels.

Incorporate these laws into your life, and you are certain to transform the quality of your leadership immeasurably! Please click here to find out more or call 877-929-0439.

Hello world!

Hello anyone out there. Someone sent me a private message and I followed the link but found Sarah's guest book? Maybe Sarah wanted me to start blogging and "primed the pump" so to speak.

A lot happens in each of our lives that would take a book to write about. I don't know what to blog without spilling things I would not want to publish to the worlk...know what I mean? So, maybe current events in my life? I am a private person and not as expressive as my daughter Sarah. I'm more philosophical/critical thinking in my approach but don't know if I could share my thinking on anything. Maybe if someone asked me about bla, bla, bla,; then I would know how to respond with my ideas.

Ok, have a great life everyone and keep hope alive!

Grand Mothers Hands

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK.

She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands?" she¿½ asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?" I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related the following story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years.

"These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.

"They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent.!

"They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

"They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse. They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body.

"They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of Grandma. I know she has been held by the hands of God. And I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life. Let's continue praying for one another. Passing this on to anyone you consider a friend will bless you both. Pass this on to one not yet considered a friend. It is something Christ would do.

I was made to love YOU

A beautiful song that speaks to my heart.

Toby Mac - Made To Love
From the album Portable Sounds

The dream is fading now I am staring at the door
I know it’s over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain’t feeling what I see
It’s no mystery
What ever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget…
Chours:
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You’d keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You
The dreams alive with my eyes open wide
Back in the ring You got me swingin’ for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin’ vapors on my dreams
But I still believe…

I’m reachin’ out, reachin’ up, reachin’ over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And Daddy I’m on my way…
Chorus:
Anything I would give up for You
Everything I give it all away

Butter Please!

Pass the butter ~ This is interesting.
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys.

When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the
research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out
what to do with this product to get their money back.

It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow
coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.

How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?

Read on to the end...gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the
same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other
foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because
they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of
other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for
less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine..
Very high in Trans fatty acids.

Triple risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and
lowers
HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.

Lowers quality of breast milk.

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY
INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and
anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing
the molecular structure of the substance).

You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area.
Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:

No flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should
tell
you something)

It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value;
nothing will grow on it Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a
find a home to grow.

Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and
spread
that on your toast?

Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to "butter them up")!

HaHa!

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a
calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photo shop and exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he
receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you
are; and you don't know a thing about cows, this is a herd of sheep.

"Now give me back my dog."

Clock

Frapper Map...Cool!

Another Joke

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the ! owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too. [/FONT]

Joke

[SIZE=3]Subject: Fwd: Fw: Blonde gets even..

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the
kitchen and said to the cook,

"This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."

"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then
spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

FOR ONCE! THE BLONDE GETS EVEN
[/SIZE]

Joke

[SIZE=3]Subject: Fwd: Fw: Blonde gets even..

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the
kitchen and said to the cook,

"This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."

"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then
spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

FOR ONCE! THE BLONDE GETS EVEN
[/SIZE]



Candles are so warm and inviting.

2-28-07

I've been so busy at work that I haven't had time to blog. I could't sleep Monday night and had a migraine Tuesday for a relaxing day off.cool
I don't have much of anything to say and wish I was not so boring.

Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

This is such a great Life Principle! I hope you enjoy it!

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."

Isn't this an awsome attitude? I wish I would have learned this before now and still wonder if I really do understand it at all. I have tried to live by these principles but know that I have fallen far short of their message. That is the main reason I turn to the God of Jesus Christ. I don't believe anyone can truly have this great attitude unless they have a higher power showing and helping them live this truth.

Disclaimer: I know there are many who do not believe in the God of Jesus Christ and I would NEVER belittle their belief and faith. Please accept me as I accept you...with respect.

Monday 2-19-07

Hello everyone! It's about 7pm and I'm at work. I came in at 7:45am and left at noon and came back at 5pm. I don't usually have these kinds of hours but our evening guy has strep and could not come in. I'm the low person on the totum pole so...that's the way it goes.
Did you like the "Lessons from Birds". I found that several years ago and hung on our library bullentin board to encourage students. There are other quotes there too and I sometimes watch them in the hall reading them. I know they are helping some. Encourging these students is my favorite thing to do. Most are working and going to school and I can see the stress in their faces. I naturally want to give them a smile and usually do...they always come back for more!
I'm going to look for more good quotes for the bullentin board.
Later![/SIZE][/FONT]

Lessons from Birds

Lessons From Birds

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." – Chinese Proverb

"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." – Henry Van Dyke

"God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages." – Jacques Deval

"Birds sing after a storm;why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?" – Rose Kennedy

"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair." – Chinese Proverb

"In almost everything that touches our everyday life on earth, God is pleased when we're pleased. He wills that we be as free as birds to soar and sing our maker's praise without anxiety." – A. W. Tozer

"No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings." – William Blake

"God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into the nest." – Jeffrey R. Holland

"It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from the ashes." – Anne Baxter

"The shell must break before the bird can fly."
– Lord Alfred Tennyson

"The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp." – John Berry

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." – Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) [/SIZE]
[/FONT]

Saturday

wink I just uploaded a bunch of family pictures if anyone is interested in my rather large family. I have 7 children and 10 granchildren.
Later!

Women

"BECAUSE" by TD Jakes
Just because no one has been fortunate enough to
realize what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine any less.
Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out
that you can't be topped,
Doesn't stop you from being the best.
Just because no one has come along to share your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
Doesn't give you permission to stop running.
Just because no one has realized how much of an
awesome woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on
your level, Doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because you deserve the very best there is,
Doesn't mean that life is always fair.
Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.
Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing
right now, Doesn't mean you need to change a thing.
Keep shining, keep running, Keep hoping, and keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already. COMPLETE!!
Send this on to your female friends who need
to keep on doing what they do best. BEING A WOMAN OF GOD!!!!

Monday 2-12-07

I'm always in a "blue" mood meaning that I love the color blue myself. I love green too (new color for my bedroom courtesy of my daughter Sarah)but keep going back to blue for some reason.
I had a wonderful tiring weekend. My wonderful daughter Sarah B painted and cleaned carpet for us so we'll have a nice looking br. I'm very proud of all my children though. They all have their strong points and I love them all dearly.

Guess I should shutup now and go home. This has been a long tiring do nothing day!

Oh, going to visit my mom tonight. She's 83 and has some health problems. This weekend she had a chest pain and thought she had a heart attack! I'm sure it was just gas but want to make sure she is alright. wink

That's all for now folks! jester

Greetings!

Hi anyone who reads this! I have 2 other blogs but want to get this going since my kiddo's are here...well 2 of them are.

So, thanks for stopping by and come again because I'll have more stuff later.