Portable Fiasco

Here's something I didn't know: John Cleese (of Monty Python fame) has a blog. Where, for some reason, he posts under the name "Jack Cheese." I guess "Jack Cheese" is a food product and a pseudonym.

I think the most interesting thing about this interview posted there -- ostensibly about the politics surrounding our upcoming election -- is Cleese's former-outsider view of 21st century American culture. Of what things we envy and what things we aspire to.

So the first version of the bailout bill has failed a vote in the House. Now, why ever did that happen?

This bill failed because Barack Obama and the Democrats put politics ahead of country.”

--McCain-Palin senior policy adviser Doug Holtz-Eakin

Well, thanks for clearing that up, policy adviser Holtz-Eakin! I sure am glad there are level-headed thinkers like you on McCain's team, putting policy ahead of politics for the good of the nation!

I guess the House Republicans who overwhelmingly voted against the bill by a nearly 2-to-1 margin (133 to 65) were all brainwashed into it. Poor Republicans, it's just not fair! Those Democratic brain-waves are just too powerful to resist!

Of course, the Democrats actually voted for the bill, 140 to 95. Maybe the Republicans are just so used to opposing the Democrats on principle that they just goofed this one time. Sort of like when you get in the car to drive to the store and find yourself heading to the office instead. Whoopsie! Maybe tomorrow they'll be asking for a do-over. New Republican campaign slogan: "America can still pull into that 7-11 parking lot and turn around!"

Honestly, I have no idea if this bailout thing is a good idea or not. I don't pretend to understand banking, the consequences of a widespread banking failure, or any of the other things I'd have to understand.

So who knows? Maybe it really is a good idea. Just because the much-bandied-about $700 billion figure was completely made up doesn't automatically mean it's a bad number.

"It's not based on any particular data point," a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. "We just wanted to choose a really large number."

-- Bad News For The Bailout, Forbes.com

Maybe it really is a-hurry-up-and-pass-it-without-even-reading-it grade emergency. The assertion that the plan has actually been brewing for months is quite irrelevant.

[White House Deputy Press Secretary Tony] Fratto insisted that the plan was not slapped together and had been drawn up as a contingency over previous months and weeks by administration officials. He acknowledged lawmakers were getting only days to peruse it, but he said this should be enough.

-- White House Dispatches Team to Push Economic Bill, Rollcall.com

The bailout would have been a hugely complex piece of legislation no mere mortal could hope to understand in a short time, which Congress was rushed into voting on. It would have funneled enormous amounts of money from taxpayers to gigantic corporations. Now what does that remind me of?