Flights of Fancy

I know, I really ought to make up some sort of excuse Rolodex. I could put one to easy use. Not only here, mind you, but in my real life as well.

So, how has that been since we last spoke?

This Morning.
I've been waking up tired every day for about a month or two now. I know it's not healthy, but that's school.

Today was Seel's and my two-year anniversary. I still can't believe that much time has passed already. It's not that it makes me feel old or anything, but it's a very surreal feeling. It feels as though I've been asleep, just having pleasant dreams for the past several months.

First Period, Free.
I finished up some math homework while Jenna decorated my pencil with gum wrappers. She's discovered that the wrapper of Five gum, when ripped, has a detachable foil sticker and makes for awesome decorating. I now have a Dixon Ticonderoga with metallic blue "skin", and it looks awesome.

Second Period, Accounting.
We spent the period going over ledgers. My teacher was cranky about something.

Third Period, Religion.
I don't remember much of this class. It must not have been too remarkable.

Fourth Period, English.
This morning, I had gone down to my locker to get my English literature book and found that it was gone. Someone had stolen it. I expected that they might return it and that karma or my dumb luck would swoop down and save me. But none of those things happened. In fact, I can't find the book anywhere.

I went to Doc at the beginning of the period and explained the predicament. At the time, my classmate Pete was standing Doc's desk, too, and heard the whole exchange.

"Doc," I said, "are we going to need our books today?"

"Yes."

"Oh. ...See, mine got stolen and-"

"Marvelous." He half-growled the word, and I shrunk away from him. I thought it just wasn't a good time and retreated to my seat.

Oh, speaking of seats, he changed the room around completely, but not in the usual Doc fashion. Instead, our desks were in pin-straight rows across the floor with his tank of a desk at the front. It's scarily traditional for Doc. On top of that we've been seated in alphabetical order. I don't mind my seat-- I'm right in the back doorway next to Jenna. At the retreat a few months ago, in her message on my affirmation letters, she had said that she wanted to get to know me better, and I her. I guess this is as good an opportunity as any.

I expected Doc to say something witty about the remodeling during class. Instead, he just paced around laying out the ground rules for a new code of conduct. He has decided to deduct five points for every class period in which we don't have our books. He's taking away all extra credit opportunities. (I just checked my grade online and found out that he stripped me of the extra credit points I had already accumulated this quarter. My average had been a 107. Now it's a 96. This will kill some people.) He ran through a laundry list of sweeping changes before pacing to the back of the classroom and punching his metal closet door with a force hard enough to dent it. Then he calmly took the seat next to mine and sat silently. I think it was the silence that scared me the most. No one in the class dared speak. For the first time in my life, I was terrified of him.

After that, Doc returned to the front of the room to take attendance. The class went to timid murmurs, and, before Doc could say anything, Pete, the same guy who had been at the desk when I tried to explain my predicament to Doc trotted back to where I was sitting and handed me a book. "This isn't yours, but it was at the front of the room. I'd hate to see you of all people get kicked out."

Hearing that gave me the fuzzies. I smiled and accepted the book from him. I thanked him and he returned to his seat. I guess there is always someone keeping an eye out for me, be it some guardian angel or one of my classmates.

Fifth Period, Psychology.
Before I had to go into my classroom, I stayed in the hallway with Christina discussing our English class.

"Was I the only one who was on the verge of tears?" I asked, and she shook hear head.

"No, I was, too. That was so scary." I agreed. We spoke for a little longer before I headed to class. Pete was standing in the doorway, and I just shook my head at him. "Was that not the scariest English class ever?"

"God, I think that was. He has me sitting in a corner." I had seen that in class. Pete's desk is in this depressing little corner with no connection to the rest of the class, or even to the board. When Seel walked in, I told him all about what had happened.

Sixth Period, Music Theory.
I sat between Billy and Andrew. See, my seat changes just about every day, and I always end up sitting with different people. Andrew's pretty consistent, but this is the first time I've sat next to Billy all year. He started asking me to teach him French and how to write in cursive. I showed him the best cursive I could muster and promised to help him with his French later.

I spent much of the rest of the afternoon playing Go with Seel in the gym lobby. That was part of my anniversary gift. If you ever get a chance to play it, you won't be disappointed. We dropped him off at home, and, when I got to my house, I curled up on my floor on top of a pile of blankets and fell asleep. I only woke up about an hour ago.

--Lani

I was thinking about what I'm going to do with myself after I die. I think I would like to be cremated, and have my ashes spread in Quebec City during the wintertime. I know I've said I'm not much for cities, but I can always bring myself to make an exception for Quebec. When the snow melts, I'll be carried wherever the runoff wants to take me.

...Okay, so I lied. I thought of that a little while ago, not tonight. So sue me.

This Morning.
When I stepped into the locker room this morning, I found myself surrounded by streamers, colorful signs and banners, and students covered from head to toe in facepaint and red, white and blue clothes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. See, every year, as one of these weeks rolls around, there are all sorts of competitions between the six classes in my school. This year, it looks like the seniors already have an edge. I, too, had sacrificed my uniform for red, white and blue and covered my face in paint.

First Period, Gym.
I had a test on the two types of workouts. Nothing terribly exciting.

Second Period, Math.
I got to finish the test I started on Friday. Once that was done, Mrs. D basically just threw her arms up and gave us a free period.

Third Period, Religion.
We spent almost all class watching parts of "The Merchant of Venice", which, by the way, is a fabulous play. If you have the opportunity to read it, I wouldn't pass it up.

Fourth Period, English.
I asked Doc at the beginning of class if I could go to my locker, and, when he saw the paint on my face, he laughed. "You know, it's awfully hard to take you seriously when you've got all that stuff on your face."

Doc asked if we wanted to take the period to discuss the play we saw last Friday. We agreed, and spent an hour talking about things we didn't understand, or getting into light debates on the matter. I forget how it came about, but, sometime towards the end of the period, Doc turned to me and asked, "Lani, what do you do to create characters? How do you give them depth?" I guess we were discussing the characterization of the players, but I'm really not sure. I answered, "Well, Doc, I take parts of my self, my experience, and apply them to my stories. Everything they've experienced or are going through, I've been through it all. That way, say, I become Elan Kennedy, and he becomes me." Doc didn't know what to say after that. I didn't think I said anything terribly profound, but Doc was speechless. He took a minute to gather himself, then asked a question of the other side of the room. At the end of the period, he came over to me and patted me on the shoulder. He didn't say anything. I don't think there was any need for words.

By the way, Elan Kennedy, in case you were wondering, is the main character of my book, River Styx.

Fifth Period, Psychology.
We discussed parts of the brain. I meant to take notes, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything school-related. I was concerned with thinking up ideas for yet another new story.

Sixth Period, AP Music Theory.
I was seriously considering dropping this class this period. I just don't understand anything that's going on, and I couldn't figure it out even after Dave tried to explain it to me. I ended up going to Mr. B after school and asking him what was going on. Thankfully, he straightened me out, and I'm staying in the class for at least the next few weeks.

Oh, and as I was leaving after our Theory review, he looked at me with this dead-serious expression that he has undoubtedly perfected over the years and said, "Don't look at me with that face."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't come in here and try to have a serious discussion about the fundamentals of music theory when you've got all that crap all over your face."

I laughed. "Honestly, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that today." And, honestly, that was true. I didn't think that going overboard would garner such a reaction.

--Lani

I doubt I've ever seen so many people at one time running around like ants under fire. Everything was going smoothly this morning when someone before homeroom mentioned that my English class was supposed to have read the entirety of Oedipus the King for fourth period today. That was about ten minutes before the first period of the day. Over the course of five minutes, three of us tore across three out of five of my school's floors to find out exactly what we had to do and gather up the materials we needed to do it. Somehow, between then and first period, I read fifty pages of dialogue and a decent enough set of notes to confidently face a test on the thing fourth period. Besides that, the play was masterfully written. Kudos to Sophocles.

Still, though, when I look back on all the running we had to do to get the reading finish, I have to laugh. People aren't usually that surprised to see me bolting from place to place, though. In fact, a friend of mine approached me once and told me that her day just wouldn't be complete if I didn't see me breeze by at some point.

First Period.
I scrambled to finish taking notes on Oedipus the King, and completed them with nearly ten minutes to spare. If high school has taught me anything, it's how to turn a time-constrained assignment into a fairly decent grade. Thank God for free periods.

Second Period, Accounting.
This class reminds me irresistibly of Stats last year.

Third Period, Religion.
We spent the class discussing conflict.

Fourth Period, English.
The notes I took during free earned me 27 extra bonus points. Doc came over to check my notes and, flipping through the pages, said, "So, from one writer to another, what would you tell Sophocles about his play?"

"I'd tell him he's a genius," I said, and Doc nodded.

"Absolutely. Anyone who can cram that much into fifty pages is brilliant."

"Wait, that was it? That's the whole play?"

"Well, it's part of a trilogy. But, more or less, that's the biggest part."

"Wow."

"Indeed." Then came the quiz. I finished fairly quickly and turned my paper over on my desk. I caught Doc's eye, and we both broke into grins. It was as though making eye contact is a big inside joke between us.

Fifth Period, Psychology.
I was happy to spend this period with Seel. I hadn't gotten to see or talk to him at all this weekend because he had to go out to Pennsylvania to watch his aunt get married. I told him about everything he missed at the parade, including my craving for biscuits and the spontaneous combustion of a tenor saxophone.

The class took a test to find out which side of our brains are dominant. Seel and I got the exact same score. It turns out that my two halves are pretty well balanced, although the description they gave for a right-brained personality type fit me a little better than the alternative.

Sixth Period, Music Theory.
I zoned out during this period and began writing on a spare page in my theory book. After class, Mr. B came after me waving a bass bow (don't ask, I don't want to know) and asked me what I had been writing about. I blubbered the best response I could, and he let me off with a "warning", which, in his terms is nothing more than a chuckle and an "I'll yell at you next time. Maybe."

Sometimes I have Oedipus moments. Sometimes life makes me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sometimes I have King Lear moments. Sometimes you don't realize what mistakes you've made until it's too late.
And, sometimes, I have Ford Prefect moments. I try to befriend what I assume to be the higher power and nearly get run over.

Most of the time, though, I think I'd just like to have a Lani Beckett moment. No one's life is quite like mine, after all. No one will have a moment quite like mine, either.



--Lani

Every time I've come within a hair's breadth of giving my two weeks' notice, something happens that draws me back to the bakery. Today it was something a customer said to me as he went to gather up his belongings after I had finished ringing him out. "Thank you," he said, "you are an extraordinary young lady. Have a pleasant day and a better tomorrow."

I was shocked. I never get more than a mumbled "thanks" or a "hey, you" from our clientele, but what that man said to me gave me the fuzzies. I thanked him and let that feeling sweep over me. It's rare that I feel that way at work. People like him are the reason I'm working there. I guess I can stick it out for a little while longer.

--Lani

I had an epic fight with a friend last night. It started by me asking him if we had homework for our Theory class, and it escalated when he flipped out at me. To make a long story short, he's stopped speaking to me.

Am I upset? Not in the least. If anything, this has just made me realize that I don't need him. If he's going to treat me the way he has for the past two years, he's no friend of mine. "And if there's someone you can live without, then do so."

First Period, Gym.
Walking video again.

Second Period, Math.
I was within reach of falling completely and totally asleep this period. It was so embarrassing, but, for some reason, I was exhausted. It got to a point where I kept poking myself with a pencil to wake myself up.

Third Period, Psychology.
I had wanted to sleep this period, but a test woke me up. I breezed through it and spent the rest of the period working on my new book Avi.

Fourth Period, Music Theory.
A-Bomb and I sat next to each other, as per usual, but we didn't so much as look at each other all period. When I had a question or needed someone to talk to, I would talk to Dave. I know he won't beat on me if I ask him something or say something dumb. When we gathered around a table to view a piece Mr. B wrote in college, we stood at opposite ends of the room from each other. "If there's someone you can live without..."

After class, Mr. B told me that someone had given him a band director's coloring book, and I was eager to see it. He broke into his huge filing cabinet in his office to look for it, but he couldn't find it. He said he would look for it and show it to me tomorrow.

After School.
School let out at 11:30 today for teacher meetings. I can't get a ride home until three any day, so Seel hauled me over to his house. We played several hours of intense (and occasionally profane) Mario Kart tournaments before giving up. I think we were both tired of high-octane obscenities.

I came home at four and climbed into bed for a cat nap. I woke up at 8:34. Oops.

--Lani