My OperaMuslim Marriage
Friday, December 18, 2009 4:57:22 PM
Marriage is recommended for partners who share a common way of life. The matrimonial partners should be able to fulfill their purpose of creation as defined by Allah. They should be able to effectively carry out their responsibility as care-takers (Khalifah) of earth. They should share the common goal of building a well-integrated Muslim community and be able to work harmoniously towards it.
Criteria for Selecting a Marriage Partner
Normally the criteria for selecting matrimonial mates are many: wealth, beauty, rank, character, congeniality, compatibility, religion, etc. The Quran enjoins Muslims to select partners who are good and pure (Tayyib).
"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity."(Quran 24:26)
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion (Deen) and character.
"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character), so marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) assured the bounty of Allah to those who wish to get married and live a pure and clean life.
"Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them: Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life." (Tirmidhi)
Freedom to Choose a Marriage Partner
Islam has given freedom of choice to those who wish to get married. The mutual choice of the would-be-spouses is given the highest consideration:
"Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." (Quran 2:232)
The process of mate selection should be a function of a healthy balance between the freedom of choice of the would-be-spouses and consideration of the influence and consent of the parents/guardians.
The freedom of choice of those who wish to get married should not preclude the influence and consent of the parents/guardians nor should the parents/guardians ignore the wishes and consent of the would be spouses.
Falling in love is not a pre-condition for marriage in Islam. However, for the purpose of selecting an appropriate mate, the would-be-spouses are allowed to see and/or talk to each other.
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) recommended:
"When one of you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is able to have a look at whom he wishes to marry, let him do so." (Abu Dawood)
The would-be-spouse are allowed to see each other for matrimonial purposes under the direct supervision of their mahram relatives. This provision is expected to be conceived and executed with piety and modesty.
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) instructed:
"No man has the right to be in the privacy with a woman who is not lawful for him. Satan is their third party unless there is a mahram." (Ahmad)
The would-be-spouses residing in non-Muslim societies are recommended to enter into a pre-nuptial commitment to safeguard Islamic values and Muslim personal law.
By: Mohammad Mazhar Hussaini
Source: soundvision.com
-------
The Importance Of Marriage
242 hadith found in 'The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah)' of Sahih Muslim.
3457 Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.
3458 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be. upon him). I met the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), whereupon he said: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He said: A virgin or one previously marrried? I said: With due previously married, whereupon he said: Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could sport? I said: Allah's Messenger, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them, whereupon he said: Well and good, if it is so. A woman is married for four reasons, for her religion, her property, her status, her beauty, so you should choose one with religion. May your hands cleave to dust.
3459 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: Have you married? I said: Yes. He said: Is it a virgin or a previously married one (widow or divorced)? I said: With a previously married one, whereupon he said: Where had you been (away) from the amusements of virgins? Shu'ba said: I made a mention of it to 'Amr b. Dinar and he said: I too heard from Jabir making mention of that (that Allah's Apostle) said: Why didn't you marry a girl, so that you might sport with her and she might sport with you?
3460 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: 'Abdullah died and he left (behind him) nine or seven daughters. I married a woman who had been previously married. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: A virgin or one previously married? I said: Messenger of Allah, with one who was previously married, whereupon he said: Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you could sport with her and she could sport with you, or you could amuse with her and she could amuse with you? I said to him: 'Abdullah died (he fell as martyr in Uhud) and left nine or seven daughters behind him; I, therefore, did not approve of the idea that I should bring a (girl) like them, but I preferred to bring a woman who should look after them and teach them good manners, whereupon he (Allah's Messenger) said: May Allah bless you, or he supplicated (for the) good (to be) conferred on me (by Allah).
3461 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: Jabir, have you married? The rest of the hadith is the same up to (the words):" The woman would look after them and comb them." He (Allah's Messenger), said: You did well. But no mention is made of the subsequent portion.
3462 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: We were with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) in an expedition. When we returned I urged my camel to move quickly as it was slow. There met me a rider from behind me and he goaded it with an iron-tipped stick which he had with him. My camel moved forward like the best that you have ever seen. As I turned (my face) I found him to be Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) He said: Jabir, what hastens you? I said: Messenger of Allah, I am newly wedded. whereupon he said: Is it a virgin that you have married or one previously married? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why not a young girl so that you could play with her and she could play with you? Then when we arrived at and were about to enter Medina he said: Wait, so that we may enter by night (i. e. in the evening) in order that the woman with dishevelled hair may comb it, and the woman whose husband had been away may get herself clean; and when you enter (then you have the) enjoyment (of tho wife's company).
3463 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: I went out with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) on an expedition, but my camel delayed me. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came to me and said to me: Jabir, I said: Yes. Allah's Messenger, (here I am at your beck and call) He said: What is the matter with you? I said: My camel has delayed me and is tired, so I have lagged behind. He (the Holy Prophet) got down and goaded it with a crooked stick and then said: Mount it. So I mounted and (to my great surprise) I saw it (moving so quickly that) I had to restrain it (from going ahead of) Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). He (the Holy Prophet) (in the course of journey said to me): Have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: Is it with a virgin or one previously married? I said. With one previously married, whereupon he (again) said: Why not with a young girl with whom you could sport and she could have sported with you? I said: I have sisters, so I preferred to marry a woman who could keep them together (as one family). who could comb them and look after them. He said: You are about to go (to your house), and there you have the enjoyment (of the wife's company). He again said: Do you want to sell your camel? I said: Yes. So he bought it from me for one u'qiya (of silver), Then Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) arrived (at Medina) and I arrived in the evening. I went to the mosque and found him at the door of the mosque, and said: Is it now that you have arrived? I said: Yes, He said: Leave your camel, and enter (the mosque) and offer two rak'ahs. So I entered and offered two rak'ahs of prayer, and then returned. He (the Holy Prophet) then commanded Bilal to weigh out one 'uqiya (of silver) tor me. Bilal weighed that out for me (lowering the scale of) balance. So I proceeded and as I turned my back he said: Call for me, Jabir. So I was called back, and I said (to myself): He would return me the camel, and nothing was more displeasing to me than this (that after having received the price I should also get the camel). He said: Take your camel and keep its price with you, (also).
3464 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: We were with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) in a journey, and I was riding a camel meant for carrying water and it lagged behind all persons. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) hit it or goaded it (I think) with something he had with him. And after it (it moved so quickly) that it went ahead of all persons and it struggled with me (to move faster than I permitted It) and I had to restrain it. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Do you sell it at such and such (price)? May Allah grant you pardon. I said: Allah's Apostle, it is yours. He (again) said: Do you sell it at such and such (price)? May Allah grant you pardon. ' I said: Allah's Apostle, it is yours. He said to me: Have you married after the death of your father? I said: Yes. He (again) said: With one previously married or a virgin? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why didn't you marry a virgin who might amuse you and you might amuse her, and she might sport with you and you might sport with her? Abu Nadra said: That was the common phrase which the Muslims spoke:" You do such and such (thing) and Allah may grant you pardon."
3465 'Abdullah b. Amr reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.
3466 AbuHuraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Woman is like a rib. When you attempt to straighten it, you would break it. And if you leave her alone you would benefit by her, and crookedness will remain in her. A hadith like this is reported by another chain of narrators
There is a classic song from Frank Sinatra that makes the point that Love and Marriage go hand in hand and if someone is looking for love they should get marry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwoRMAC461A
Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can't have one without the other
Love and marriage, love and marriage
It's an institute you can't disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say it's elementary
Try, try, try to separate them
It's an illusion
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion
Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like the horse and carriage
Dad was told by mother
You can't have one, you can't have none, you can't have one without the other!
No Sir!
KARAOKE - Frank Sinatra - Love And Marriage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNlpr5ehXgc
Criteria for Selecting a Marriage Partner
Normally the criteria for selecting matrimonial mates are many: wealth, beauty, rank, character, congeniality, compatibility, religion, etc. The Quran enjoins Muslims to select partners who are good and pure (Tayyib).
"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity."(Quran 24:26)
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion (Deen) and character.
"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character), so marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) assured the bounty of Allah to those who wish to get married and live a pure and clean life.
"Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them: Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life." (Tirmidhi)
Freedom to Choose a Marriage Partner
Islam has given freedom of choice to those who wish to get married. The mutual choice of the would-be-spouses is given the highest consideration:
"Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." (Quran 2:232)
The process of mate selection should be a function of a healthy balance between the freedom of choice of the would-be-spouses and consideration of the influence and consent of the parents/guardians.
The freedom of choice of those who wish to get married should not preclude the influence and consent of the parents/guardians nor should the parents/guardians ignore the wishes and consent of the would be spouses.
Falling in love is not a pre-condition for marriage in Islam. However, for the purpose of selecting an appropriate mate, the would-be-spouses are allowed to see and/or talk to each other.
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) recommended:
"When one of you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is able to have a look at whom he wishes to marry, let him do so." (Abu Dawood)
The would-be-spouse are allowed to see each other for matrimonial purposes under the direct supervision of their mahram relatives. This provision is expected to be conceived and executed with piety and modesty.
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) instructed:
"No man has the right to be in the privacy with a woman who is not lawful for him. Satan is their third party unless there is a mahram." (Ahmad)
The would-be-spouses residing in non-Muslim societies are recommended to enter into a pre-nuptial commitment to safeguard Islamic values and Muslim personal law.
By: Mohammad Mazhar Hussaini
Source: soundvision.com
-------
The Importance Of Marriage
242 hadith found in 'The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah)' of Sahih Muslim.
3457 Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.
3458 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be. upon him). I met the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), whereupon he said: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He said: A virgin or one previously marrried? I said: With due previously married, whereupon he said: Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could sport? I said: Allah's Messenger, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them, whereupon he said: Well and good, if it is so. A woman is married for four reasons, for her religion, her property, her status, her beauty, so you should choose one with religion. May your hands cleave to dust.
3459 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: Have you married? I said: Yes. He said: Is it a virgin or a previously married one (widow or divorced)? I said: With a previously married one, whereupon he said: Where had you been (away) from the amusements of virgins? Shu'ba said: I made a mention of it to 'Amr b. Dinar and he said: I too heard from Jabir making mention of that (that Allah's Apostle) said: Why didn't you marry a girl, so that you might sport with her and she might sport with you?
3460 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: 'Abdullah died and he left (behind him) nine or seven daughters. I married a woman who had been previously married. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: A virgin or one previously married? I said: Messenger of Allah, with one who was previously married, whereupon he said: Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you could sport with her and she could sport with you, or you could amuse with her and she could amuse with you? I said to him: 'Abdullah died (he fell as martyr in Uhud) and left nine or seven daughters behind him; I, therefore, did not approve of the idea that I should bring a (girl) like them, but I preferred to bring a woman who should look after them and teach them good manners, whereupon he (Allah's Messenger) said: May Allah bless you, or he supplicated (for the) good (to be) conferred on me (by Allah).
3461 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: Jabir, have you married? The rest of the hadith is the same up to (the words):" The woman would look after them and comb them." He (Allah's Messenger), said: You did well. But no mention is made of the subsequent portion.
3462 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: We were with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) in an expedition. When we returned I urged my camel to move quickly as it was slow. There met me a rider from behind me and he goaded it with an iron-tipped stick which he had with him. My camel moved forward like the best that you have ever seen. As I turned (my face) I found him to be Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) He said: Jabir, what hastens you? I said: Messenger of Allah, I am newly wedded. whereupon he said: Is it a virgin that you have married or one previously married? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why not a young girl so that you could play with her and she could play with you? Then when we arrived at and were about to enter Medina he said: Wait, so that we may enter by night (i. e. in the evening) in order that the woman with dishevelled hair may comb it, and the woman whose husband had been away may get herself clean; and when you enter (then you have the) enjoyment (of tho wife's company).
3463 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) reported: I went out with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) on an expedition, but my camel delayed me. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came to me and said to me: Jabir, I said: Yes. Allah's Messenger, (here I am at your beck and call) He said: What is the matter with you? I said: My camel has delayed me and is tired, so I have lagged behind. He (the Holy Prophet) got down and goaded it with a crooked stick and then said: Mount it. So I mounted and (to my great surprise) I saw it (moving so quickly that) I had to restrain it (from going ahead of) Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). He (the Holy Prophet) (in the course of journey said to me): Have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: Is it with a virgin or one previously married? I said. With one previously married, whereupon he (again) said: Why not with a young girl with whom you could sport and she could have sported with you? I said: I have sisters, so I preferred to marry a woman who could keep them together (as one family). who could comb them and look after them. He said: You are about to go (to your house), and there you have the enjoyment (of the wife's company). He again said: Do you want to sell your camel? I said: Yes. So he bought it from me for one u'qiya (of silver), Then Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) arrived (at Medina) and I arrived in the evening. I went to the mosque and found him at the door of the mosque, and said: Is it now that you have arrived? I said: Yes, He said: Leave your camel, and enter (the mosque) and offer two rak'ahs. So I entered and offered two rak'ahs of prayer, and then returned. He (the Holy Prophet) then commanded Bilal to weigh out one 'uqiya (of silver) tor me. Bilal weighed that out for me (lowering the scale of) balance. So I proceeded and as I turned my back he said: Call for me, Jabir. So I was called back, and I said (to myself): He would return me the camel, and nothing was more displeasing to me than this (that after having received the price I should also get the camel). He said: Take your camel and keep its price with you, (also).
3464 Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: We were with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) in a journey, and I was riding a camel meant for carrying water and it lagged behind all persons. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) hit it or goaded it (I think) with something he had with him. And after it (it moved so quickly) that it went ahead of all persons and it struggled with me (to move faster than I permitted It) and I had to restrain it. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Do you sell it at such and such (price)? May Allah grant you pardon. I said: Allah's Apostle, it is yours. He (again) said: Do you sell it at such and such (price)? May Allah grant you pardon. ' I said: Allah's Apostle, it is yours. He said to me: Have you married after the death of your father? I said: Yes. He (again) said: With one previously married or a virgin? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why didn't you marry a virgin who might amuse you and you might amuse her, and she might sport with you and you might sport with her? Abu Nadra said: That was the common phrase which the Muslims spoke:" You do such and such (thing) and Allah may grant you pardon."
3465 'Abdullah b. Amr reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.
3466 AbuHuraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Woman is like a rib. When you attempt to straighten it, you would break it. And if you leave her alone you would benefit by her, and crookedness will remain in her. A hadith like this is reported by another chain of narrators
There is a classic song from Frank Sinatra that makes the point that Love and Marriage go hand in hand and if someone is looking for love they should get marry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwoRMAC461A
Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can't have one without the other
Love and marriage, love and marriage
It's an institute you can't disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say it's elementary
Try, try, try to separate them
It's an illusion
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion
Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like the horse and carriage
Dad was told by mother
You can't have one, you can't have none, you can't have one without the other!
No Sir!
KARAOKE - Frank Sinatra - Love And Marriage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNlpr5ehXgc
