My own self

Premise: Liam Neeson is awesome.

Plot synopsis: Liam Neeson is awesome for one hour and thirty-five minutes.

Review: Liam Neeson is awesome.

Rating: 9/10

I'm one strange animal, I am. Star Wars is an excellent example of why. I love Star Wars. Really do. I might not be as fanboy as they come, but with Star Wars, that extreme is a little crazier than usual. Suffice to say I know why it'd be better if Han still shot first, who Ysanne Isard was, how Chewbacca dies, what the Outbound Flight Project was, what changes the DVD-releases of the original trilogy did to the story, how Palpatine survived episode VI and why the coolest villain of the Star Wars-universe is neither a Sith nor depicted in the movies. I might not be among the most devoted fans, but out of any random group of a hundred people, I'd bet you I'm in the top three as far as interest in this world and these movies is concerned. This probably makes me strange enough for most people, but I believe my readership here, small as it is, to be somewhat more selective in handing out the "strange"-label. So let me try to demonstrate.

I don't particularly think these movies are all that great. No no, I don't just mean the three more recent ones. I mean all of them. Alright, Empire Strikes Back is pretty awesome. But IV and VI are overrated.

That's right. I'm a huge big Star Wars enthusiast, and I just said the original movie isn't all that. To make matters worse, I don't think the new ones are as bad as they're cracked down to be.


In the weekend preceding Christmas and in the extended Christmas weekend proper, I did a full re-watch of the sage, including the very good Clone Wars-animated series as an episode 2.5 (the old one, not the new and digitally animated stuff that is currently airing), and here is my attempt at an efficient review of the whole thing. And be warned in advance - this is a review of the current DVD-editions of the movies. If you're some kind of anal purist denying their existence, that's your business. This post is about the official saga as it exists right now. (With Clone Wars added in because, well, that's what it was made for and this is my weblog.)



The Phantom Menance

Viceroy Nute Gunray: "My lord. Is that... legal?"
Darth Sidious: "I will make it legal."

Movie Plot:
The Phantom Menance tells the story of a small planet in the Galactic Republic falling victim to an illegal trade blockade that escalates into a full-scale invasion by a powerful interplanetary guild named the Trade Federation. The Republic, struggling with corruption and power-struggles in the ruling body of the Senate, finds itself incapable of ending the situation easily. The Supreme Chancellor, acting on his own, sends two Jedi to sort the matter out. The members of this ancient order of wizard-priests and warriors sent is a Jedi Knight named Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice. Qui-Gon is a strong-willed and well respected member of his order, one having the skill set and experience deemed necessary to sit on its ruling Council yet not yet awarded the position due to his many theological differences with them. His apprentice, Obi-Wan, while far more tempered with the conservative ideas of the Council, remains his faithful and loyal if somewhat critical junior companion during his master's disagreement with the ruling body of their Order. The remaining main characters of the tale are two equally gifted but vastly different individuals - the immensely capable but very young ruler of the invaded planet, Padmé Amidala, an idealistic but cunning politician with great loyalty to her people, and Anakin Skywalker, the even younger and mysteriously fatherless slave boy from the Outer Rim of the galaxy with enormous understanding of all things mechanical and a natural affinity for the mystic Jedi arts with no historical parallel. Despite the objections of the Council, Qui-Gon Jinn, convinced this boy is one told of in prophecy, and introduces the boy to the Jedi teachings. The Trade Federation's actions are revealed to be the product of a secret plot by the hidden sect of the Sith, when the Sith Order's junior member, Lord Maul, is sent to kill the Jedi and Amidala but fails. The Order of the Sith, believed extinct for centuries, are users of the same mystical Force as the Jedi, but on directly opposing theological grounds, acting on self-preservation rather than altruism. The disunity in the Galactic Senate is disposed of by removing the friendly but politically weak Supreme Chancellor in favour of electing another, stronger politician friendly to the little planet's need. Amidala is not satisfied with the speed of the Republic's promised assistance, and goes back to her planet to ally herself with a less technologically advances species indigenous to the planet's swamps and oceans to overthrow the occupation. The Jedi Council, alarmed by the presence of a Sith Lord in the affair, send Jinn and Kenobi back with her for her protection. The planet is re-taken and the junior Sith Lord slain by Kenobi, after he himself slaying Jinn. Kenobi, following his master's dying request, takes up the boy Skywalker as his apprentice with a Jedi Council begrudgingly agreeing despite its senior member, Yoda, still disagreeing. The movie ends of a note of unity and success, despite not having unraveled the Sith's role in the affair nor found the location or identity of Lord Maul's teacher in the order.

Saga Plot:
The Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, is found as a slave boy on the Outer Rim planet of Tatooine by maverick Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn, and the evil Sith Order resurfaces after centuries of hiding. Jinn dies, but is able to include Skywalker in the Jedi Order, under the tutelage of Jinn's old apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi, despite doubts in the Jedi Order's ruling body as to the boy's fitness. Skywalker harbours anger and fear for his mother, trapped as a slave back on Tatooine, and is additionally far older than what is customary for indoctrination into the Order. Skywalker's status as the One Chosen to bring balance to the Jedi's pantheistic Force is also doubted by several of the Order's prominent members. The Sith Order suffers a set-back in losing its junior member and having its plot to through an illegal invasion of a small planet create dissension and mistrust in the Galactic Senate foiled, but succeeds in the main goal of removing its moral leader from office and installing a new one named Palpatine as Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic.

Favourite Moment:
When Darth Maul attacks the two Jedi in Theed towards the movie's end.

Worst Moment:
Jar Jar Binks' outrageous amounts of luck during the movie's final combat.

Missed Opportunity:
Intrigue, dammit. All this talk about corruption and beuracracy, and we never see any of it!

Best Surprise:
The character of Qui-Gon Jinn. His dissension with the Council proper and huge role in the Saga's more theological aspects is by far this movie's greatest contribution. However, it should also be mentioned that Darth Maul is the only successful of Lucas' many attempts at recreating a badguy of Darth Vader's visual impact.

My Overall Opinion:
This movie has a ton of weaknesses. Ridiculously stupid gags and jokes (many of them put in the mouth of Jar Jar Binks, seeing as C-3PO is unavailable for most of the film) abound, of course, but anyone who has ever seen a Star Wars-film expects that. Far more damaging is the podrace which, while entertaining enough the first time around, drags out into the insane upon rewatching. The rest of the movie holds up surprisingly well. R2-D2's mysteriously casual entry into the story is fitting with the enigmatic character he's always been, and the introduction of Anakin, while certainly far from perfect, works better than many of the movie's critics claim. Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul, as mentioned, both work great to flesh out and draw me into this pre-Empire Star Wars-universe, and I quite like Nute Gunray, viceroy of the Trade Federation, as well. Amidala has her best movie in the saga by far, here, where she actually gets things to do. Palpatine is wonderfully jovial. The main complaints, character-wise, are the unnecessarily silly Jar Jar and the underused Obi-Wan who never really has much to say or do in the film at all.
The acting and the dialogue (which is very hard to separate in these movies) are actually pretty great in this one compared to what one sees in most of them. Perhaps due to the utter and complete lack of romance - it is worthy of note that the most cringe-worthy pieces of dialogue here all come out in Padmé and Anakin's single private conversation... The plot is surprisingly multifaceted and layered. There is some major problems with the pacing, however, and again the overlong podrace contributes to make that problem worse. As mentioned, I would have loved to see more of the politics on Coruscant, but intrigue and political maneuvering is rarely more than hinted at in these movies, so I am grateful for what little I get.

Rating:
A rather okay 6.5/10. It's really better than people want you to think.



Attack of the Clones

Obi-Wan Kenobi: "I have to admit that without the clones, it would have not been a victory."
Yoda: "Victory? Victory you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the Clone War has."

Movie Plot:
Attack of the Clones is a movie about a complex conspiracy that starts with two thwarted attempts at assassinating Senator Amidala of the Galactic Senate and ends with the revelation of a group of powerful interstellar organisations declaring independence from the Galactic Republic. When Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi is sent to investigate the attempted murders he discovers to his astonishment a vast army of trained and equipped clones that the makers of insist were built on the order of a late Jedi on behalf of the Republic, despite nobody back in the capitol knowing about this. When shadowing the skilled bounty hunter who both was behind the assassination-attempts and provided the source DNA for the clone army, Kenobi discovers he has been hired by a renegade Jedi Master known as Count Dooku. Dooku, being the leading figure of the separatist movement against the Republic, captures Kenobi and, upon finding he cannot be swayed to the Separatist cause, sentences him to be executed. Kenobi's apprentice Anakin Skywalker, enraged after the recent loss of his mother, and Senator Amidala whom he has been assigned to protect together attempt to rescue Kenobi, and fails. A larger-scale rescue attempt organised by the Jedi Council is also in vain, but they are saved at the last minute by the arrival of the clone army, the situation having demanded that they be put into use despite their mysterious origin. The seperatist conspiracy's vast armies of combat droids engage the clones in combat, and Dooku flees the planet after having been revealed to have turned from the Jedi code and made use of what is known as the Dark Side of the Force the Jedi live attuned to. The movie ends with Skywalker secretly marrying the Senator Amidala despite the Jedi creed against attachment designed to avoid this exact type of turning, and the galaxy having been thrust into a full-scale war.

Saga Plot:
Starting ten years after the previous installment, Attack of the Clones furthers the Sith plot to gain control of the galaxy by pitting the Republic against itself in a civil war between its government and the great corporate powers. The unrest created by the situation allows the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine to remain in office long after his terms expire, and expose the Jedi Order, ancient enemy of the Sith, time and time again to participate in the war-effort and thus put its members in mortal danger. A powerful and disgruntled Jedi Master, Dooku, Qui-Gon Jinn's old teacher, has been recruited to replace Lord Maul as the junior member of the Sith Order, and uses his popular and charismatic public persona to take the position as leader of the Separatist alliance fighting the Republic's forces. The Republic is manipulated into making use of an army of fully trained clones with mysterious origins, giving them a fighting chance against the Separatist's vast droid forces so as to drag out the conflict and further the Sith agenda. The Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, finds his mother after spending ten years apart only to lose her moments later. In his anger, he slaughters the entire tribe of primitives responsible. The senior Jedi Master, Yoda, is alerted by the voice of the late Qui-Gon Jinn, who is somehow reaching out from the beyond in a failed attempt to keep Skywalker from succumbing to his rage. As Skywalker is additionally scared of further loss when he opens a forbidden romance with Amidala, now a Galactic Senator, the Jedi code of no attachment has the opposite effect of the intended. Skywalker's forbidden attachment makes him scared of being found out, forming the exact cycle of bad emotions the ban is there to keep him from in the first place.

Favourite Moment:
Dooku interrogating Kenobi.

Worst Moment:
The attempts at romantic dialogue between Skywalker and Amidala on Naboo. Probably the worst one in the entire Saga, to be frank.

Missed Opportunity:
The Clone Wars. While this movie's plot is quite interesting indeed and most of its problems owing to the mediocre-to-bad writing and execution of this plot, it is a shame to both skip over all of Anakin and Obi-Wan's years and adventures together as friends between episode I and II and all of their experiences during the Clone Wars, as their friendship is a pivotal part of the saga.

Best Surprise:
The intricacy of the plot behind the Clone Wars. While the execution, again, is sometimes a little limping, the idea of one single individual recruiting and arranging both sides of an intergalactic civil war to further his personal agendas is quite brilliant.


My Overall Opinion:
I remember being pleasantly surprised by this movie. The title is horrible, being another one in the pulp vain of "Return of the Jedi" and "Empire Strikes Back" - or "Star Wars" itself, for that matter - which is understandable but not very fun. I didn't grow up reading that kind of stuff, I have no nostalgic feelings for it being recreated on the big screen with billions of dollars' worth of special effects. Add to that that The Phantom Menance, which I liked well enough, had left an enormous amount of story untold between itself and IV and set up a huge number of discrepancies as well, I felt this movie had an enormous pressure on itself to be efficient, make sense and fill gaps. Of course, it didn't. It barely filled any, leaving even the story of the Clone Wars untold, only showing us how it begins. I knew that from the title - I mean, it is called the ATTACK of the clones, not the clone war - and so the automatic disappointment came with the ticket. Thus, my expectations to the movie were rather low. And also thus, I really, really liked it. Originally I liked it far better than VI, actually, and would even have compared it to IV. The years since then of rewatching and comparing has convinced me that alright, IV is a solid bit better, and while II might compare to VI, it certainly isn't a clear-cut superior movie in any way. However, the mere fact that it could please me so speaks not exclusively of my low expectations, but also of the movie itself. It is rather fun. The plot is by far the most complex of any of the installments in the saga, which I wholeheartedly approve of. Some minor details in it make little sense and was never cleared up, like the Sifo-Dyas-person who ordered the clone army, but on the whole, it is rather well pulled off. A main problem is the romance - and not just the poor writing. Far more confusing is the attraction itself. Amidala is depicted as a sophisticated, devoted and highly intelligent woman of strong beliefs and convictions, but within the scope of a few shallow conversations, she somehow falls head over heels for a whining, self-absorbed man far younger than herself and whose politics differ vastly from hers. There is no scene to explain this. His affection for her - which is far more understandable - is given ample time, but there is literally no scene to explain her going from being mildly amused by his awkward crush to loving him so much she breaks laws and endangers careers left and right to marry him.
Dooku is a huge positive surprise in this movie. Of course Christopher Lee is most of the reason for that, but the character is indeed highly interesting even if someone else had played him. A Jedi Master, the only one in generations to leave the Order, who was Yoda's Padawan, Qui-Gon's teacher, and the most gifted Jedi the order seen before Anakin, who might or might not have turned to the dark side... very interesting character indeed. The interplay with him and Sidious is another great lost opportunity in this saga, it would be highly interesting indeed to see how Sidious would deal with taking on an apprentice very close to himself in wisdom, knowledge and experience. Unlike Maul, trained from infancy, and Vader, influenced during his entire upbringing and taken on before he was anywhere near Dooku's experience and knowledge, Darth Tyranus is the kind of character you would expect to be the senior Sith Lord, not the junior one. The concept of this interests me very much. (Anyone liking Tyranus' character, by the way, should consider reading the novel Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, which I remember I quite enjoyed.)
The relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin is actually very well done here. It's just enough of a teacher-student relationship and just enough of an older brother-younger brother relationship to sell them in their dual roles as adoptive father/son and growing equals. It sets up the idea of these two fighting side by side in the Clone Wars very strongly without showing it very much, and this aids later movies a lot. While Hayden Christensen isn't great as Anakin, he's good enough, the main problem with the character is the choices done with him in the writing, making him seem whiny and self-centered in the ridiculous. Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan, as I mentioned in the comments here, is this movie's saving grace on the dialogue- and character-side, often being amusing even during his fight scenes.

Rating: Weakish 7.5/10. While it has great issues to be sure, I've always liked this one. It might not be a very well made movie, but it manages to entertain me time and time again every time I rewatch it, and I'm rewarding that in the grade.



Clone Wars

"Jedi! Their Order is a fading light in the dark. Corrupt and arrogant, they must be punished. The Jedi shall fall."
- Asajj Ventress, Dark Acolyte

Series Plot: The first volume of Clone Wars chronicles the early days of the Clone Wars by showing a selection of battles on different planets spread throughout the universe, intercut with a bigger plot of the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker leading the attack on Muunilinst, one of the main bases of power for the Separatist-aligned Banking Clan. Related to this plot is another story-thread where Count Dooku discovers and trains the Force-sensitive Asajj Ventress in lightsaber combat. Ventress, who has personal reasons to hate the Jedi and desires more than anything to become a full-fledged Sith, leaps at the opportunity to prove herself to her new Sith Master, and becomes his personal assassin during the war. In truth, Dooku has no plans of taking her on as a real apprentice, and is only using her, with his own Master's blessing. As the battle on Muunilinst comes to a close, Ventress appears in her fighter and creates havoc for the Republic space forces. Skywalker chases after her alone, against the orders of his master Kenobi, being lured into a trap on a distant location. Ventress and Skywalker duel, matching each other closely in skill, and Skywalker finally triumphs by tapping into his anger, stepping closer to using the Dark Side of the Force. The volume closes with Dooku's reveal of his new right hand man in the Separatist side of the war, a cyborg general known as Grievous. Griveous, not only a tactical genious, is also highly skilled in close combat, being able to surprise and kill several Jedi at once as the volume ends. In the second volume, we see Skywalker receiving his full Jedi Knighthood, and then skip a couple of years ahead to the end of the war, where Grievous is sent to kidnap Supreme Chancellor Palpatine of the Republic. Meanwhile, Skywalker and Kenobi are investigating a secret hideout of his on a planet far away, discovering a plot by the Separatist-supporting Techno Union to create further cyborg soldiers to supplement the droids who have proved inferior to the Republic's clones. The volume comes to an end almost exactly at the point where the third movie will begin, with the Chancellor being kidnapped.

Saga Plot: The Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, is as the Clone Wars progress becoming more and more experienced and powerful as a warrior and as a Jedi, receiving his Knighthood and on his new, more equal footing tying an even closer friendship to his former Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kenobi himself has been granted the title of Master and put on the Jedi Council for his efforts during the war. Skywalker is showing himself as very capable and talented, but when pressed, especially when on his own, he repeatedly turn to darker deeds and emotions than what the Jedi Code allows him. While investigating a Separatist plot to create cyborg soldiers, he experiences a vision through the Force to help him sort out a mystery during his current assignment, a vision that at the same time is foreboding to him personally that the very actions he takes to save his loved ones will end up destroying them. The Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Sidious, sends his top General Grievous to attack the Republic capitol and kidnap their Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, likely to further his goals of keeping the war as close and scary as possible to the inhabitants of the Republic and lure Skywalker, a strong supporter and friend of Palpatine's, into another direct combat where he will let his emotions rule him.

Favourite Moment:
Grievous' entrance at the end of Volume I.

Worst Moment:
The very silly and cheesy-looking opening shot of Yoda riding in front of a massive army of clone troopers simply running against a droid army firing on them.

Missed Opportunity:
This one is difficult, as I feel this very short series was excellent at just this - taking opportunities. However, it would have been nice to see the alleged brilliant Grievious actually perform some form of brilliant tactic instead of exclusively doing hand-to-hand-combat in his every scene.

Best Surprise:
Mace Windu's single-handedly taking on a droid regiment without a lightsaber. Tons of fun.

My Overall Opinion:
While it has its faults here and there, this short series of animated episodes is in many ways an almost necessary element to the Saga in my opinion. It shows us how Anakin makes darker and darker decisions throughout the war without Obi-Wan fully catching on to the development in a believable way. Similarly we get to see him and Amidala struggle with their hidden marriage, which is also of great aid in making later events a tad more believable. It displays Obi-Wan and Anakin's close-knit friendship over time, making the few scenes early in Episode III not have to carry this important plot-point alone. We're also informed (by implication) of Obi-Wan's promotion to the Jedi Council and we're shown Anakin being given his Jedi Knighthood, both of which has simply happened before Episode III begins. We get to see the clone troopers bond a little with their Jedi generals, which makes the Order 66-scenes of Revenge of the Sith far more compelling. We get to see Dooku placing someone in the exact position he himself will be placed in the opening scenes of the next movie, which makes for delicious irony. General Grievous, whose entire presence in Episode III is redundant and pointless, is actually way cool in this series, making up a little for his character's existence. And, maybe most important of all, we get a glimpse into the wide-spread battles and devastation of the Clone Wars, making the war's existence seem more horrid and important than it otherwise would when mainly transpiring between two movies.

Rating: Solid 7.5/10. For an animated series of shorts that you can alternatively watch as one full-length movie, this is stellar. Of course, when compared to actual movies the pacing and plot-threads chosen comes off as a little odd.




Revenge of the Sith

"So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."
- Senator Padmé Amidala to Senator Bail Organa

Movie Plot:
The galaxy is at the end of a three-year long civil war, and in a final stunt Separatist leader Count Dooku and his attack-dog General Grievous have kidnapped the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, Palpatine, in a daring attack at the capitol planet. Republican heroes of the war, generals and Jedi Knights Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, is dispatched to rescue the Chancellor before the Separatists can escape Republic space with him. Their attempt is successful, but Skywalker breaks many of the Jedi Code teachings when he, on his good friend the Chancellor's encouragement, kills a defenseless Dooku while his companion Jedi and former master Kenobi is temporarily knocked out. This is not the first of Skywalker's many breaches on the Jedi rules, nor will it be the last, as he is increasingly consumed by self-righteous anger and ambition to save a galaxy he is increasingly tired of seeing ravaged by war, regardless of the cost. Simultaneously, his illegal marriage to Senator Padmé Amidala is taking its toll on him, adding fear to be discovered and fear to lose her and their unborn child to the mix. These feelings are continuously nurtured and fed by the Chancellor who, unbeknown to anyone, is the mastermind of the entire civil war, a ploy to keep him in power for long enough to do a coup d'état from the inside of the Republic. He sees in Skywalker his future apprentice, a powerful pawn to wrist away from the Jedi Order he secretly hates and put to use for his own purposes. Pitting Skywalker against his Order and playing off of Skywalker's increasingly dire premonitions of the fate of his wife, Chancellor Palpatine's scheme is only outed to the Jedi at the very last moment - and it becomes too late. Having convinced Skywalker that he and he alone has the means and knowledge to save his beloved wife, and further convincing him that the elite Jedi's corruption and arrogance is the root of the unrest and civil war, Palpatine turns Skywalker to his aid, averting his outing by the Jedi, naming Skywalker his apprentice and right-hand man. He then triggers a latent programming in the Republic's cloned armies, of which he is still the legal ruler, making them turn on their Jedi generals and eradicate them all. Skywalker, committed in full to the Chancellor's teachings, goes to the Jedi Temple and kills all the children in training for Jedi Knighthood, proving his loyalty to the Chancellor's creed of anything necessary to restore peace and unity. Travelling to the headquarters of the remaining Separatist leaders on Palpatine's bidding, Skywalker assassinates them all, singlehandedly ending the war. His old Master Kenobi survives the clone army's attempt at his life, and returns to the capitol, only to discover Skywalker's betrayal of their order. He and Skywalker's wife, political idealist and disillusioned Senator Amidala fresh from a Senate session where Palpatine declared himself Emperor for life, go to meet Skywalker and reason with him. It is to no avail, in his rage and confusion Skywalker is convinced they are now both plotting against him, attacking his wife and almost killing her. Kenobi engages him in a duel, which he finally wins. The movie ends as Palpatine resurrects Skywalker as a cyborg trapped in a black armour, and Amidala dying as she births two young children that Kenobi whisks away into hiding.

Saga Plot:
The Dark Lord of the Sith's schemes come to full frutation as the Galactic Republic is transformed into the Galactic Empire and its cloned armies turn their allegiance to him personally, and even his Sith apprentice Darth Tyranus find his ambitions and ideals betrayed by his master. The Chosen One, after a decade of careful prodding and a cataclysmic three years of brutal warfare, is finally turned to give into his darker emotions in a misguided attempt at protecting his loved ones. He becomes Darth Vader, new apprentice to The Dark Lord Sidious, and aids in the almost complete destruction of the Jedi Order as well as the ending of the Clone Wars by the brutal eradication of its remaining leaders. His wife, heartbroken at the fate of her husband, dies shortly after giving birth to his twin children, Vader never realising she lived long enough to birth them. Obi-Wan Kenobi, anguished at his former apprentice's turn to the Dark Side, duels with Vader and triumphs, leaving Vader a mutilated man dying slowly and alone with nothing but his hatred left. The Jedi Grand Master Yoda, with Kenobi the last of their Order left, confronts the Sith Lord Sidious, newly declared Emperor, but fails in killing him and is forced to flee. He reconvenes with Kenobi, revealing to him that his former master Qui-Gon Jinn has discovered how to retain his essence and personality in death, teaching Kenobi how to communicate with the late Jinn so that he, too, can learn this skill in the decades to come. A small part of the Galactic Senate quietly opposes the Emperor, and one of them, Senator Bail Organa, adopts Vader's daughter in secrecy. Vader's son is in equal secrecy taken to live on the distant planet of Tatooine, Kenobi going with him to guard him from dangers but judging his failure with Vader to be too great to take the responsibility for actually raising the boy. The child is thus left in the care of Vader's step-brother and his young wife, with Kenobi settling down quietly not too far from their dwelling. As the movie ends, Darth Sidious finds his mutilated apprentice and manages to save his life by putting him inside a cybernetic suit that will sustain him. Vader, having lost anything else, remains his Master's faithful servant, seeing his only remaining purpose in life to maintain order and peace throughout the newly established Empire.

Favourite Moment:
Order 66.

Worst Moment:
Realising General Grievous was going to be about as interesting as an old boot compared to in the animated show.

Missed Opportunity:
Oh, dear lord. How about the entire movie? This movie was the final installment in the Saga, bridging the new and the old together, and it could have served us twists and turns and surprising reveals nobody had seen coming. Instead, it took the safe route. It did what everyone expected it would do. Sure, it did it relatively well, but it did exactly what was expected, and with the possible exception of Yoda's showdown with Sidious, nothing else whatsoever. This movie could have served up innumerable twists that would have turned the entire Saga on its head, made the old movies be seen in a completely different and the new ones simply seem better. But it didn't, and that will always be a major disappointment to me.

But if you want specifics and not wishful thinking, not having Qui-Gon reveal the major turning point of the entire saga on-screen is probably as big as they get.

Best Surprise:
Mace Windu, the character without a mentionable purpose in the previous two movies, is here a guy whose mere existence was totally selling half the movie's plot-points. The Jedi elite's distrust of the Senate and the Chancellor, the Jedi elite's distrust of Anakin's loyalties, the one who agrees to bend the rules just enough that it sells Anakin on the Jedi actually being as corrupt as Palpatine's been suggesting... And so on and so forth. Thank the lord that Lucas thought to include this character in the previous two movies, this one would hardly have worked at all without him.

My Overall Opinion:
This was a good one, but it stopped a good bit short of greatness. Palpatine's outing as evil is too over the top at several times - his understated smug evil in VI works much better than his screaming and howling in III - but McDiarmid and his character's great and small moments are still what is keeping this movie going. Also still good is McGregor ("Mc", it seems, helps) and his Obi-Wan, who is really selling the affectionate comradery of Kenobi and Skywalker early on in the movie and thus also one of the key plot-points in the end of the movie when their friendship dissolves. The rest of the cast (Frank Oz' Yoda aside, of course) doesn't really impress, but honestly, they're not given anything to impress with. Christensen does a fair job as the conflicted and turning Anakin, but still comes off as a little too whiny to be any real fun. Still, I've seen bonus material where Lucas is instructing him how to say some lines - and believe you me, he wants them to sound that whiny. It's not Christensen's fault, at least not his alone. However, his character's ripple-effects on those around him makes it worth the journey, and the truly dark moments are sold very well by Christensen. And those are what really counts, right? Portman has a good bit more important a role here than in II, but this is of course joined by LESS screen-time. (At least it feels like it, I haven't timed) So her character never really has a chance at doing anything interesting. The deleted scenes-plotline of her helping founding what will grow into the Rebel Alliance would have helped, but even that would have been much too little, in my opinion. And having her "lose the will to live" rather than simply having her die from the damage done by Anakin and the premature childbirth is still pretty stupid. All complaints aside, though, this movie does work, and it works rather well. There's action, there's drama, there's tragedy, there's reveal, and it packs more intensity than any other movie in the Saga. Half the movie's scenes feel as intense as, say, the final duel-scene on the second Death Star in VI, which is a really good thing. R2 is finally amusing and cool again, and 3PO and Jar-Jar are both giving too little to do to be annoying. I still hold Grievous' being a redundant character for the movies, but his existence adds a lot to the Expanded Universe as a planned scapegoat for Dooku and a brilliant tactician and tragicly exploited hero for the Separatist side, so I'm not unhappy they made him. However, we should have been shown him do something cool. In the books, he's a military genious, in the animated series he routinely kicks Jedi ass, but in the actual movie he just comes off as a smug coward. Keeping the charismatic Dooku in the movie for more than five minutes and let him serve like the secondary villain would have been far berre for this movie when seen on its own or only in context of the other five movies. Finally, not putting Qui-Gon's ghost in the movie is ridiculous beyond belief. It reduces what should be a major plot-point to a throw-away remark of Yoda's, and makes the ghosts of the old trilogy seem haphazard and random. They've always seemed like overly convenient plot-mechanisms, dropping this opportunity to redeem them and make them a big part of the saga plot is outrageous. Not to mention how much of a stretch it is that Anakin somehow manages to learn this within an hour after dying in VI. Sigh. Also, it robbed me of an extra scene with Liam Neeson, dammit.

Rating: A grudging 8.5/10.



A New Hope

"This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi, it will soon see the end of the Rebellion."
- Darth Vader

Movie Plot:
Luke Skywalker, nineteen, has grown up on a moisture-farm with his uncle and aunt, but longs to leave and explore the galaxy. He gets his wish granted, but not in quite the way he had imagined, when the purchase of two droids for the farm sends him spinning into a chain of events leaving him in the middle of a rebellion against the fascist Empire that rules the galaxy. One of the droids turn out to have significant intel on the Empire's biggest military secret, and Skywalker needs to get this information to the Rebels. He's taken into the tutelage of an old, mysterious hermit that once went by the name Obi-Wan Kenobi, and together they hire small-time smuggler Han Solo to fly them in secret to a Rebel leader named Bail Organa. Meanwhile, Organa's daughter has been captured and tortured for information by the Empire. The officer in charge of the secret military project, Governor Wilhuf Tarkin, decides to apply their new weapon against Organa's home planet to make the daughter, Leia, reveal the Rebel Alliance's secret base. The weapon, an immense space station called the Death Star, fires and obliterates the planet, with Bail Organa on it. Skywalker, Solo and Kenobi's arrival is thus met not with the friendly planet they expect, but rather the battle station responsible for destroying it. Through a series of events they manage to escape with Leia Organa aboard their ship, but without Kenobi, who is killed by his old disciple turned Imperial agent Darth Vader aboard the station. Skywalker and, eventually, Solo, join Organa and the Rebel Alliance after having followed her to their base. They apply the information in the droid in a desperate attempt at destroying the Death Star, which succeeds against all odds, killing Tarkin. The movie ends with the Alliance celebrating their first major victory against the Empire.

Saga Plot:
The Chosen One has for the past nineteen years been aiding Darth Sidious, now Emperor Palpatine, in bringing the galaxy to order and peace by any means necessary. However, a small but stubborn group of rebels keep avoiding capture, most recently by stealing the schematics to the Empire's secret superweapon the Death Star. The Chosen One, now known by the Sith name of Darth Vader, traces the thieves to Senator Leia Organa, the daughter of a known rebel sympathizer, and ignores her diplomatic immunity as a Senator by searching her ship for the plans. However, the plans, stored in the droid R2-D2, has been sent off the ship to the planet of Tatooine before Vader's entry to Organa's ship, the droid having been programmed to locate an Obi-Wan Kenobi once on the planet. Vader arrests Organa and tortures her for information on the location of the rebel base. When this fails to work, commander of the Death Star Governor Wilhuf Tarkin decides to destroy Organa's home planet to make her talk - this also failing. Meanwhile the droid R2-D2 has maneuvered himself into the company of Kenobi, a Jedi Master who has spent the last nineteen years in hiding, by way of young farmboy Luke Skywalker. Kenobi attempts to recruit Skywalker to the rebel cause, telling him that Skywalker's father was an old pupil and friend of his once killed by Darth Vader. Skywalker is tempted, but refuses, until he returns home to the farm to see his adoptive parents having been killed by the Empire who are on the droid's trail. His mind now changed, Skywalker and Kenobi take the droid to meet with Organa's father by way of renting the ship of small-time smuggler Han Solo. On the way there Kenobi attempts instructing Skywalker in the basics of Jedi training and philosophy. Arriving, they find the planet recently destroyed, and are brought aboard the immense battle station responsible - The Death Star. Once aboard, they manage to flee, bringing Organa with them. Kenobi seeks out his old pupil, Vader, and duels him to allow the rest of the group to escape. As he sees he has succeeded, Kenobi drops his guard and concentrates on the techniques taught him by his late Master Qui-Gon Jinn, disappearing into the Force as Vader strikes the killing blow. Skywalker, Solo and Organa flees to the Rebel base, not aware the Death Star is tracking them to find its location, having let them escape on purpose. Skywalker and Solo both join the Rebel Alliance, the latter doing so despite being overdue at a powerful gangster boss named Jabba the Hutt's place with a heavy fee. With the aid of the schematics stored in the droid, the Alliance manages to destroy the Death Star, Skywalker piloting the decisive fighter whilst aided by the late Kenobi through the Force.

Favourite Moment:
Vader demonstrating the power of the Force to the unbelieving Admiral during Tarkin's meeting.

Worst Moment:
Obi-Wan's silly little pirouette in the middle of his duel with Vader.

Missed Opportunity:
Obi-Wan and Vader's duel is very anti-climactic - even when NOT seen in context of the ones in the prequel trilogy it looks kind of stale and wooden. This could have been the Giant Final Showdown Duel To End All Duels, you know. With both participants actually being well-trained, experienced lightsaber-users, unlike Luke in V and VI...

Best Surprise:
Nobody who knows me at all will be surprised when I say Tarkin's character on this point. Seriously, even the first time I saw this movie as a twelve-year-old he totally stole the show from Vader for me. But the introduction of Han Solo's character is a close second.

My Overall Opinion:
This is a good movie. It's not really great, its plot is a little too formulaic and predictable for that, and it has some pacing issues that become increasingly apparent on rewatches. That admitted, though, it is still a good movie. Everything works here, the story is told in an efficient yet exciting manner, and it provides a great introduction to how the galaxy looks and feels after almost two decades under the Empire. Some dialogue, especially Leia's for some reason, sound a little wooden or artificial, but compared to some of the scenes in II or even III, it shouldn't even make you raise an eyebrow. The acting is alright, the characters are mostly plain stereotypes but charmingly executed ones, and the unusual visual setting of the standard myth/faery-tale-like plot succeeds greatly at making it seem more original and interesting than it really is. Most emotional moments are very underplayed, though, and could possibly have been better used. Luke gets over his adoptive parents/uncle and aunt's death in a matter of minutes, Obi-Wan's death - which is actually grieved more on screen by Luke than that of his parents - is done in the middle of a scene focusing mostly on action elsewhere, and the destruction of Leia's entire home planet with her father on it is virtually given no chance to impress upon the viewer the enormity of the tragedy at all. The expedience of the plot always bring you over to the next plot-point or action-scene rather than dwelling at these things, their consequences and the characters' reactions to them. It's not strictly necessary, of course, especially considering the fairy-tale-like quality of this movie, but it fits poorly with the remaining five movies' way of doing things, where this exact kind of emotional attachments and loss (though nearly all of them far less serious than any of these) is played up quite heavily.

Rating: A strong 8/10



The Empire Strikes Back

Luke Skywalker: "I won't fail you. I'm not afraid."
Yoda: "You will be. You will be."

Movie Plot:
The Rebel Alliance's fight against the Galactic Empire sees another setback as their base on the icy planet of Hoth is discovered and ran off. A Commander Luke Skywalker, hero of the Alliance for his efforts in the battle of Yavin some years back, sees a vision of his late mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi, urging him to travel to a remote planet and locate Kenobi's old master Yoda. Under Yoda's tutelage, Skywalker receives training as a Jedi Knight, an ancient but nearly extinct order of warrior priests Kenobi belonged to. Meanwhile, Skywalker's rebel friends Chewbacca, Leia Organa and Han Solo find themselves separated from the main Rebel force, and in need of hiding out from the Empire's infamous agent Darth Vader, the man Kenobi has said killed Skywalker's father. They travel to the planet of Bespin, where Solo claims to have an influential friend from his days as a smuggler named Lando Calrissian. Lando welcomes the group, but turns coat on them and sells them out to Vader. Vader, being primarily interested in Skywalker, holds the group as bait. Through his Jedi training, Luke senses his friends' danger and interrupts his apprenticeship to go save them against Yoda's strong urgings. Skywalker enters the trap and is nearly taken by Vader, but throws himself seemingly to his death to evade capture after learning that Vader did not kill but is in fact Skywalker's father. Narrowly escaping death by calling upon Organa's help through his Jedi techniques, they, Chewbacca and a Calrissian having turned coats a second time flee the Empire's grasp. Solo, being wanted by a powerful gangster lord for some unfinished business from his smuggling years, is frozen down by Vader and given over to a bounty hunter. The movie ends with Skywalker being given a mechanical hand restoring one lost in his fight with Vader, and wondering why Kenobi lied to him about his father's fate.

Saga Plot:
The Chosen One - Darth Vader - having discovered the identify of the pilot blowing up the Death Star as none other than his own son long presumed dead, endeavors at length to capture the young man, Luke Skywalker, during his over-arching efforts to stomp out the rebellion against his Master Darth Sidious and restore order and tranquility to the galaxy. Convincing his Master that Skywalker can be turned to the Dark Side, Vader captures Skywalker's closest friends - including the former senator Leia Organa - to lure him into a trap. Skywalker, meanwhile, has temporarily left the Rebel Alliance to seek training in the Jedi arts by the Jedi Grand Master Yoda, still in self-imposed exile on Dagobah. Against Yoda's counsel he chooses to go to his friends' aid, and faces Vader in a duel. When Vader realises Skywalker is better trained in the Jedi arts than he thought, he attributes this to Obi-Wan Kenobi's teachings before his death, not knowing about Yoda's continued survival. The increased ability of Skywalker's seems to change his plans - rather than trapping his son and bring him to Sidious, Vader now suggests to him that they together can usurp the power from his master and rule the galaxy as father and son. Additionally, he is by telling Skywalker this sowing strong seeds of doubt of Kenobi's words and teachings in Skywalker's mind by revealing that he was lied to about the fate of Skywalker's father, not killed by Vader but in fact Vader himself. Again, the Chosen One desires to put his own perceived better judgment above the rest of the galaxy to impose upon it order and peace, seeing Skywalker as a potentially powerful and loyal ally to rid himself of Sidious' overrule. Skywalker, however, refuses, and escapes after calling through the Force upon Organa to come to his aid. Together, they escape with every one of Skywalker's friends except Han Solo, who is handed over by the Empire to bounty hunter Boba Fett for delivery to the gangster boss Jabba the Hutt.

Favourite Moment:
Vader's callous promotion of Piett to Admiral through the videolink whilst his previous Admiral is choking on the ground. Runner-ups would probably be Yoda's quarreling with R2-D2 over Luke's flashlight and just about every scene Han Solo has in the movie.

Worst Moment:
Tricky, as this is by far the strongest of the series. However, I find the constant re-appearing of Kenobi's ghost to be ludicrous, as it renders Yoda pointless. There is no reason for Luke to go to Dagobah if he can communicate with Kenobi's spirit - he already has a teacher, then. Yet another thing that could have been easily cleared up in episode III if they'd only spent a minute or two laying out the rules indubitably surrounding the Force Ghost-existence. Sigh.

Missed Opportunity:
The desire Vader expresses to topple the Emperor and rule himself is never really explored beyond this in the movies, which I find to be a shame. As it stands, we have no idea if his offer is intended only to ensnare Luke or if he genuinely wishes to ally with him to overthrow Palpatine.

Best Surprise:
The Organa-Solo romance, which unlike the Amidala-Skywalker one is actually believable, probably due to the one party's heavy protests that it is not.

My Overall Opinion:
Very, very, very good. If every Star Wars-movie was this good, this would probably have been the best movie-series I'd ever seen, despite having what is arguably the lamest title. (A tight contest, I know) The movie works splendidly both on its own and as a chapter in the longer story. I find it especially interesting how Vader here again expresses a desire to overthrow the Emperor and rule himself - mirroring exactly what he offers Amidala in episode III. While he then probably didn't fully understand the full extent of Sidious' powers and additionally was not impaired by his mechanical suit, it is interesting indeed that he twenty years or so later repeats the exact same request to his son - but this time with the opportunity to actually gain a usable ally in such a confrontation. The ramifications of this are many and interesting, in part because there is little to nothing given in the movies as to his actual intents and reasoning behind either proposal.
There are some smaller continuity-issues with the more recent movies in Yoda's dialogue, as his views on the training of Luke seems rather lax and open compared to the one he adhered to in the Jedi Council. Of course, there is the added lessons of Qui-Gon Jinn in this Yoda's past that wasn't in the Yoda of the prequels', so perhaps Jinn's far more open-minded views have rubbed off and been given dominance. If so, this is an interesting development indeed, as Jinn's foremost rebellious decision to train the nine years old Anakin Skywalker could arguably be seen as a argument to not lend any credence to his views. Yoda, however, seems convinced, allowing the training of one more than ten years Anakin's older...
Almost everything about this movie works - it is arguably the best paced one of the entire series as well as the best written one - and there really isn't much more to say about it.

Rating: A weak 9.5/10



Return of the Jedi

Luke Skywalker: "There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know."
Han Solo: "You're going to die here, you know. Convenient."

Movie Plot:
Han Solo, former smuggler and current hero of the Rebel Alliance, is held captive by the vengeful gangster lord Jabba the Hutt. A close-knit group of his best friends from the Alliance decide to help him escape under the leadership of Luke Skywalker, self-declared Jedi Knight after a year of personal studies and training built on the teachings of Jedi Grand Master Yoda. Jabba is killed and Solo freed, and the group travels to reunite with the Rebel Alliance proper, except Skywalker who leaves for the planet where his old master is waiting to finish his training. Upon arriving, Skywalker finds Yoda on his deathbed, and is told that one final test waits him before he will be a full Jedi Knight - confronting his father, Darth Vader, the right hand of the Emperor the Rebels are trying to overthrow. The Emperor, meanwhile, has built an immensely powerful battle station known as a Death Star much like the one destroyed by Skywalker half a decade earlier, only this one is far bigger. However, it is also incomplete. The Rebel Alliance decides to attack it while it is still not operational, but find the Emperor quite prepared - and the Death Star to be only appearing as unfinished to draw the rebels out. Skywalker and his team are dispatched to a small moon where the projector of a protective force shield to guard the Death Star is located while the main Rebel force attack the Star and the Imperial fleet surrounding it. On the moon, with the aid of some primitive natives, the Imperial forces are overwhelmed and the shield knocked down. Skywalker, though, is captured, and brought by Vader to the Emperor aboard the Death Star, who desires to turn him into one of his agents. The attempt is unsuccessful, and the Emperor decides to kill Skywalker, only to be thrown to his death at the last minute by Vader, choosing his son's life over that of his lord. Vader, dying from injuries sustained upon him by the Emperor, is brought by Skywalker off the battle station mere seconds before it is destroyed by the Rebels. The movie ends as the major victory and the death of the Emperor incites uprisings all over the galaxy and Skywalker and his friends celebrate on the moon with their newfound friends among the natives.

Saga Plot:
Luke Skywalker has trained himself further in the Jedi arts since his defeat on Bespin, and decides he is ready to attempt freeing his friend Han Solo from his captivity under the crime lord Jabba the Hutt. He recruits a small group of friends including Leia Organa who unknown to either of them is his biological sister, infiltrates Jabba's lair, and succeeds at rescuring Solo, killing Jabba in the process. Solo, Organa and the others decide to go rejoin the Rebel Alliance, but Skywalker finally decides to return to Yoda, the only surviving Jedi Master of the days of the Galactic Republic, to finish his training. Once arrived at Yoda's, however, Skywalker finds the old master on his deathbed, and is handed out only a few more sentences of advice before Yoda, exercising Qui-Gon Jinn's technique, becomes one with the Force. He tells him that his training is almost complete, but he lacks a final trial; facing Vader, who Yoda now admits to be Skywalker's father. Furthermore, he warns Skywalker not to underestimate the Emperor, like he himself once did. He also tells Skywalker that he has a sibling, to which Obi-Wan Kenobi's apparition later adds the identity of. Skywalker rejoins the Rebel Alliance, who are planning to attack Darth Sidious' latest superweapon, a new, bigger Death Star, before it is completed. In truth, the Death Star is part of the Sith Lord's plan to lure out and ensnare the entire Rebel Alliance. Skywalker decides to try helping his father rather than killing him - despite this being something Yoda, in his vast experience which included Dooku in a very similar situation only twenty years earlier, considered impossible - and confronts the Chosen One in person, surrendering to him. Vader, on orders of his master, brings him to the Emperor aboard the new Death Star, assuming they will once again try to implement their plan of changing Skywalker to their side, bringing order and tranquility to the galaxy. Once in front of the Emperor, Skywalker is taunted by him in front of a silently watching Vader. He is informed that the Death Star is indeed operational, and they are expecting the rebels. Succeeding in thus summoning Skywalker's rage, the Emperor dares him to reclaim his lightsaber and kill him. Skywalker yields to his anger and grabs his lightsaber, but is stopped in his efforts by Vader. In the ensuing duel, Vader constantly has the upper hand, Skywalker attempting to make his father stop and join him against the Emperor to no avail. Vader, insisting he is not at all conflicted in his loyalties, senses within Skywalker the concern for his sister, thus discovering her existence for the first time. Suggesting that he will simply kill Skywalker and try turning her instead, Vader manages to urge Skywalker's anger back out, but gets more than he bargained for. In a turn of events much reminiscent of Kenobi's defeat of the vastly more skilled Darth Maul on Naboo more than thirty-odd years earlier, Skywalker overwhelms Vader with his sudden anger and defeats him by chopping of his sword-hand, placing him in yet another situation mirroring years past as the Emperor gleefully applauds. Back then, Vader had been talked into killing the unarmed Dooku, great current villain of the galaxy, in front of Sidious seeking to replace one apprentice by one younger, more easily controlled and more potentially powerful. The Emperor asks Skywalker to kill his father and take his place at the Emperor's side. Unlike his father two decades earlier, Skywalker recognises the similarities between the man defeated before him and the man he could himself become, considering his own artificial hand and looking at the stump of Vader's. He holds to the Jedi code, and turns off his lightsaber, throwing it aside, sparing his father - and, as Yoda warned him not to, discounting the Emperor as a lone old man. Darth Sidious, his scheme thwarted, is repulsed by the decision, and throws lightning out of his fingers through the Force, incapacitating and torturing Skywalker. The Chosen One gets back up on his feet, and looks at his master torturing his son, declaring Skywalker's imminent death. Betrayed by the man who told him for the past thirty years that it was his role as the Chosen One to bring order in the galaxy, believing himself groomed for the day when he himself would run it, Vader's doubts on killing his own son take him over and he finally decides that the way of the Sith is not the best solution to anything. Realising that while his many evil deeds and murders in the name of peace and order were beyond him to rectify, he could still save his son, Vader grabs hold of his master. Unprepared, Sidious can do nothing but scream as he is thrown into a reactor-shaft and into his death. The lightning spread from his hands get caught in Vader's mechanical body and fries his life-supporting systems. Finally dying the death he's been suffering through for twenty-three years, he asks Skywalker to take off his mask so he can see him with his own eyes before dying. Admitting he had been torn for a long time about his service to the Emperor, the Chosen One died, having lived twenty-three years as Anakin Skywalker and twenty-three years as Darth Vader. Being back in the pure side of the Force through his personal love for and attachment to his son, the Chosen One intuitively preserves his personality in death like Jinn before him. By killing his master and dying himself, he has done what no man has done and what no Jedi managed to do - he has destroyed the entire Order of the Sith and thus fulfilled the prophecy, leaving his son to restore the Jedi Order to keep the new balance. Luke Skywalker escapes the Death Star with his father's armour, and rejoins his sister and his friends in the Rebel Alliance who have won the greatest military battle against the Empire yet by destroying their new Death Star while Skywalker kept Vader and the Emperor occupied. Across the galaxy, different planets give rise to sudden uprisings at the news of the Emperor's death, and on a small forest moon, Skywalker, watched over by the Force Ghosts of his father, Yoda and Kenobi tells Organa that she is his sister.

Favourite Moment:
"And now, young Skywalker... you will die." Enter sardonic smile.

Worst Moment:
Certain moments of the Ewok-battle against the Empire which shows much too much pre-planning and knowledge of exact battle-situations as they would occur bringing what's already an unrealistic segment into the realm of the hysterically ridiculous.

Missed Opportunity:
Leia's role as Luke's sister feels like it could have been used a lot more in these movies, but I suppose that's a result of Lucas suddenly deciding to do six instead of nine of them. I'm also a little pissed that the awesome-looking Imperial Red Guards never got to fight anyone.

Best Surprise:
The opening segment with Jabba, where Luke as a Jedi is genuinely cool.

My Overall Opinion:
This is a fair, alright movie that brings a satisfactory end to the saga. It suffers from the boring "let us build a new Death Star"-plot, but this is a plot that is quite admittedly rather believable - because why wouldn't they just make a new one? It is also somewhat uneven, in that I much prefer the beginning of movie up until the Rebel attack on Endor/the Death Star, where the pacing gets a little off and you additionally have to somehow account for how a tribe of teddy-bears can triumph over a legion of a galaxy's best troops who are aware of an imminent attack. That said, the final scenes between Palpatine, Anakin and Luke aboard the Death Star are pretty awesome. The problem of the dying Jedi Master reveals itself here yet again - what does it matter what Yoda has time to tell Luke and what he doesn't, as both he and Obi-Wan can reappear and talk to him for hours later if they want to? (And Obi-Wan indeed does just that - showing up after Yoda's passing to clear up some things Yoda was vague about) There is also the oddity of Luke somehow having trained himself quite efficiently in the year since the events of Episode V, but without ever having time to return to Yoda - which you'd think would have been more constructive. Oh, well. Despite a number of silly chinks like that, he movie is an alright one, and an adequate ending to the overall story.

Rating: Strong 6.5/10


Thanks for reading.

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
but today is a gift.

That is why it is called the present.

Digital animation movies are - annoyingly enough - apparently here to stay, and Dreamworks have now delivered one that people seem pretty positive towards all around. I can certainly see why.

Kung Fu Panda is fun, entertaining, quick-paced and at times even a little exciting. Of course, it is far from flawless. Like most movies aimed primarily at kids, it is very predictable, and the characters rarely, if ever, surprise you either. They're archetypes from top to bottom, and there is never made any serious attempts at hiding this.

Still, as mentioned, it has several merits. First off, I must say, is some quite stellar names on the voice cast. While I'm of course of the opinion that most of the time you're better off with proper voice-actors than celebrities for this kind of thing, it's nice to see them grace the animation genre with their presence as regular as they have in recent years. Most pleasing was Ian McShane as the movie's feline villain, with facial features clearly inspired by McShane himself. (This was also the case with several other characters, and I wholeheartedly approve of the trend) Also worthy of special mention is Dustin Hoffman as the kung fu mentor-character, and - surprisingly - Jack Black in the main part. I'm no big fan of his, but let's face it, in his typically typecasted roles, he does rather well, and the main character of Kung Fu Panda is a Jack Black-type character if I ever saw one. (If you want to see who all the celebrities voicing more secondary characters were, I suggest you check the movie's imdb-page.)

The movie opens with a dream-sequence that's quite awesome in its distinct style of animation and over-the-top-humour. As is almost always the case with this kind of openings, it sets you up for a huge disappointment when the rest of the movie falls short in every single way when compared to it. It's really too bad - this type of sequence would do so much better as an epilogue at the end of the movie, where the awesomeness of it comes as the cherry on top rather than as the standard next to which the rest of the movie looks bad. (Johnny English springs to mind as another good example of this kind of syndrome) Don't get me wrong - the main movie is enjoyable. But it shouldn't have to live up to a dream-sequence more fun and interesting than the main plot could ever be.

For all its run-of-the-mill-type characters and main plot, there are some really awesome little things planted around the movie - like the panda who has been raised by a chicken for mysterious reasons we're teased with learning but never do. This and similar stunts of the absurd and crazy leap into an otherwise straightforward narrative with delightful freshness. Also deserving a mention is the maximum security prison in which the main villain is kept at the beginning of the movie - one thousand huge rhino guardians for ONE prisoner is such an idea of pure overdone awesome that it made me squeal a little.

The movie is entertaining throughout, sometimes even a little touching or pretty. It won't blow your mind, but it will entertain it, and at 92 little minutes it is just short enough to keep the predictability of the plot to make it feel slow and boring.

7.5/10

There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

Everybody knows you never go full retard.

- Kirk Lazarus



Reviewing this movie should be pretty quick work. My expectations were low to everything except Robert Downey Jr.'s scenes, the movie being co-written by Ben Stiller and starred by Stiller, Jack Black and Tom Cruise. I'm no huge fan of the latter two, and I honestly outright don't like Stiller. Especially in the clueless jackass-roles he seems so fond of picking.

So, having watched it, the one thing I can say is that the acting surprised me. Downey Jr. was as brilliant as expected, and furthermore Cruise really impressed me. And honestly, the rest of the cast was pretty good in their parts too - including Stiller. The plot was decent. What sucked, outrageously, was the dialogue and most of the jokes.

Sure, they got in a few hitters now and then, but nine out of ten times, what made me laugh were facial expressions, not the dialogue that framed them, and nine out of ten of those times, these facial expressions were on Downey Jr.'s face. (Some notables in the last one out of ten, though, especially Reggie Lee in a certain phonecall springs to mind) Still, no matter how awesome he is, he can't make lemonade out of lemons without anyone giving him any sugar. (Dear lord, what a horrid turn of phrase I just made up.)

Props to the Norwegian subtitler, by the way. This person might not know English (or, more likely, might not have gotten an even slightly understandable copy of the audio-track from the movie), but DAMN he or she knew their Norwegian. Gold nuggets like "Se Guds vanskapning!" and "Stutt-tjukken!" in the subtitles made the movie seem outright witty in several places were the original language version was kind of meh.

The actual progression of the plot in the movie was okay, but it was so crude, contentless and devoid of anything resembling humour in the first half hour (the one exception being the fake trailer to Kirk Lazarus' previous movie), I was sitting there thinking it would be lucky to get a 3/10, no matter how awesome Downey Jr.'s facial expressions might be. It did get better, though, and was acually kind of exciting and much more consistantly amusing (if very rarely outright funny) in the non-Downey-stuff for the remaining running time. I'll thus reward it with a


weak 4.5/10.


But honestly. 3 of those are for RDJ, and what's left is for the rest of the cast. Beyond the acting and the general idea of the premise, there wasn't much going for this movie.

I'm not a fan of digital animation. In fact, I'm kind of outright opposed. With the exception of Toy Story, I had yet to see a single good animated movie where I didn't feel traditional animation wouldn't have worked as well or usually way better than the digital one. Wall-E is the first movie to join Toy Story in that exclusive club, and mostly that's because of Wall-E himself. Brilliantly designed to actually seem almost convincingly and realistically built, the digital animation brings his mechanical self to life in the exact same manner as the toys of Toy Story did - it looks faintly fake, but it's supposed to, because it's not a living thing, and this adds an entire new dimension to the experience of watching it.

So much for the animation - I'm still not a fan, but I admit that it's well used in this particular movie - now what of the actual plot?

Well, it's very straightforward, simple and predictable. Mostly, though, in the good ways. The Disney-ways, if you'd like. What it also was - this too unsurprising when one considers the movie's basic premise - was rather melancholy. Where it surprised me a little, though, was in how sweet it was. Not because I didn't think it would be - I thought it'd try very hard - but is succeeded at it a good bit better than I thought it would.

The first twenty minutes of the movie are the most melancholy ones, but also the best ones by far. The utter lack of dialogue, the almost as complete lack of character-interaction (making what little there is seem very precious), the completely desolate world of futuristic garbage... it's Wall-E's twenty minutes, and they're the reason the entire rest of the movie works.

While I did enjoy the movie, I sort of can't truly claim I loved it. Mostly, well, it's the good kind of predictable but still maybe a little bit too much so. But also, I'm a softy, and a world in which every surviving human is so utterly pathetic as in this one and the only creatures with sympathetic personalities are programmed machines is a world which scares me and makes me sad. No matter how happy an ending they might dish up for me. In general, I don't like movies that make me sad or melancholy.

The bug was funny, but revolted me more than the gags were really worth. What IS it with children's movies and using insects as comedic relief in recent years? Gwuahlg. The other characters were fine, and Eva and Wall-E in particular impresed me. I must say that the human captain was alright too, but having the people computer animated just looked weird next to the very realisic-looking droids. It would've been far better if they'd somehow managed to keep using real-life people like they did in the glimpses to the past, methinks. Even if that, too, would've seemed a clash.

All in all, well worth the look, I felt got exactly what I felt the trailer and the posters promised me. Which is too bad, these computer-animated flicks really need to start going down the crapper so someone puts up the money and effort required to make proper animated movies again instead...

A decent 7/10

Uhm.



Eh.



Er...


I...

Ah, there's...


Hrm.


So, I've seen Dark Knight.

Specific spoiler-free review after the cut (spoilers generalizing about themes or moods of the movie etc will probably abound, difficult to say anything at all about anything without that) followed by a clearly separated paragraph with spoiler-laden comments that should be easy to avoid.

Read more...

Courtesy of Obdormio.

Read more...

Ah, the much-awaited movie's somewhat less awaited anime-style animated prequel! They do flaunt some interesting names in the credits, though - Brian Azzarello, David S. Goyer, Bruce Timm, to name a few - so I had some expectations.

Batman: Gotham Knight is a miniseries of six short movies made in different animation-styles but with the same voice-actors for the same characters. The movies each have an individual structure, theme and plot, but they take place in the order they're put on the DVD, and they do tie together to form a bigger story bridging Batman's role in Gotham between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

Having Kevin Conroy voice Batman is a great pleasure and a privilege. To me, this is how Batman is supposed to sound. Of course, it does contain a certain feeling of loss, too, as it makes me wish for more of the original Batman the Animated Series instead of all this modern stuff... Hearing Conroy's Batman still sets one heck of a mood, though. And the darker style of these animations totally works with his scary Bat-voice.

The individual stories are better than the whole, I felt, and the focus seems indeed to be on the individual narratives rather than the big picture story. (For instance, animating Alfred into looking like he does in the comics in one episode, thin, balding and with a mustache, and having him look more like Michael Caine in the next, that takes you very much out of the feeling that this is one continuous story)

The first one, Have I Got A Story For You, is clearly inspired by the old Batman Animated-episode Legends of the Dark Knight - and indeed, I hear that episode is included among the bonus material on the two-disc version of this release. Like that one, it features some youngsters of Gotham meeting up to tell each other rather excitedly about their individual recent sightings of the Batman - and their wildly differing experiences of him. Well done story which very well sets the tone of this DVD: we are to see what impression Batman has been making on Gotham since Batman Begins - not follow his personal life. The DVD is about Batman as the Gotham Knight, not as the person. More than any story, this opening one clearly establishes that. Still, it's not that interesting, and probably holds the animation-style I liked the decidedly least of all the six as well. Interestingly, while this is one of the episodes featuring a Batman the furthest removed from the viewer's access, it's maybe the one where he by the end of it appears the most human.

The second one, Crossfire, shows us the look the Gotham police have grown to have on Batman, just like the first one shows how he's seen by the younger crowd among the civilians. Needless to say, this particular episode is thus much darker and grittier. Batman comes off as very impressive, but also as very, very dark and scary. The episode is probably my favourite of the entire DVD, and I have no problems admitting that that's a big reason why.

The third episode is called Field Test, and lets us far closer in on Batman than we have been so far on the DVD. We're actually seeing Bruce Wayne in this episode, and quite a lot, too, and where the first episode dealt with idolisation of Batman and the second of a combination of suspicion and begrudging respect, this episode in the end mainly deals with Batman's limits and ethics. Which is of course a theme closely tied to the first two, but seen more from Batman's own perspective than from the city's.

In Darkness Dwells is written by Goyer, who co-wrote Batman Begins, and it brings back Jonathan Crane as the Scarecrow. This episode features lieutenant Gordon rather heavily, and his uneasy co-operation with the Batman, underlining the odd combination of distrust and respect the two have for each other. It bridges very directly into Working Through Pain, where we finally get truly close to the Dark Knight, following his struggle to get out of the sewers despite his wounds and into safety while thinking back on his training by a rogue fakir in dealing with pain - both external and internal. The episode features his old trauma in relation to guns rather heavily, which neatly sets up the final piece of the DVD.

Deadshot is an interesting way to end the DVD. He's not one of the more famous Batman villains, neither to readers of the comic or more casual fans familiar with the character mainly through other media. He's still a rather interesting and engaging one, and, as portrayed here, rather eerily charming. I've personally not read his original arc in the Batman-comics, but I found myself wondering, as I was watching this, if Batman's gun-trauma was used as interestingly there or not. Because here is a man who is basically the DC universe's version of Marvel's Bullseye, the guy who can hit just about anything, but who unlike Bullseye prefers traditional guns in most situations. Batman has a very big and interesting rogue's gallery, but none so closely tied to the idea of the gun as Deadshot. A very good way to end the DVD, in my opinion, and featuring another of my favourite animations here.

All in all I'd say the disc is recommended for those interested enough to want to see it. However, if the concept of six short animated episodes set between the two major live-action movies sounds uninteresting to you, you'd probably not change your mind watching this. Still, it's done with style and care, and shows both affection for and interest in the character and the franchise on the creators' end. I wholeheartedly applaud the effort.

This animated science fiction movie from 2000 has an incredibly impressive list of directors and writers - a list I was not aware of myself until after I'd seen it. The directors? Gary Goldman and Don Bluth - the two ex-Disney animators (both were involved in the animtaion of The Rescuers and Pete's Dragon, Bluth additionally had his hands in Robin Hood, The Sword in the Stone, and others) who's made such major animation successes outside of Disney together as The Land Before Time, An American Tail, The Secret of NIMH and Anastasia. And the writers? John August (Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride), Ben Edlund (Firefly, Angel(he wrote Jaynestown and Smile Time!), Point Pleasant and Supernatural) and, well, Joss Whedon.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, but I can't help but wonder if I'd have been a little let down had I known about this rooster of brilliance before I sat down to watch it due to incredibly high expectations. Heck, I wasn't even aware it was animated before it started up.

So what is it? Well, it's basically the sci-fi-movie everybody who hated the Star Wars-prequels have been begging for. The movie starts with an alien destruction of Earth, where a very influential scientist must stay behind to save the incredibly important Titan-project. His very young son is hurried off planet with other refugees just in the nick of time. Cut a good decade ahead, and the son is grown up. Then an old co-worker of his father's shows up and tells him he has to save mankind and find the lost Titan-project.

The movie is flowing over with odd and funny aliens, something the Star Wars-crowd probably likes but an issue for me. I never like universes where you only see one single individual from three quarters of the alien species you encounter. It feels phony. Still, they're on the whole rather well made.

Despite this, it's a little dark. Not scary horrid dark, but it's closer to Empire Strikes Back than Return of the Jedi, if you know what I mean. This works well though. It's got a somewhat predictable plot, mediated by some twists you see coming and others you might not. The world that's built seems rich and, with the exception of the ridiculous amounts of different kinds of sentients, believable. There was a couple of choices towards the end where I felt they should've gone darker and less child-friendly, but on the whole the movie was surprisingly daring for an animated movie that clearly doesn't exclusively cater to an adult crowd.

Some characters stand out - the father's old co-worker is a distinct Han Solo-rip off (no attempts are made to hide that), but he works well. His first mate Preed is nothing like Chewie, though, but rather a cold, superior, even omnious alien with a posh English accent. The crew on the ship - and thus the cast that gets mentionable screentime in the movie beyond the main character - is filled out with another human, the main character's love interest, another alien, this one female, the grumpy weapons expert that seems to be fifty per cent Zoe, twenty per cent Kaylee and thirty per cent Jayne, and the incredibly eccentric green-skinned scientist Gune who is just so thoroughly lovably silly you have to like him.

The main character himself is very much the traditional hero-in-the-budding type, but maybe a good bit more reluctant and selfish at first than one'd expect, originating with his abandonment issues with regards to his father. He's not going to stick with you for long after the movie, but he works well enough and isn't annoying like such characters often end up being.

The movie of course looks beautiful - I mean, Don Bluth is involved, it had to - and I'd highly recommend to check it out if you're at all interested in entertaining sci-fi movies. It doesn't reinvent the wheel by a long shot, but it gives it a very good spin.

Weak 8.5/10

I know. You had it sorted.

- King Edmund of Narnia

Well, what do you know. I liked it.



Turns out I didn't really expect that. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe started out really well, and then turned mediocre at some point around the beavers' cabin and stayed that way. While I did have higher hopes for Caspian - BBC only gave the book two episodes in their otherwise stellar adaptations of the series, so this was the one place Disney could actually look like the better attempt - I still didn't really think I'd go "huh. Pretty good." But I did.

The story is much, much darker than that of the previous movie, and the themes and characters, while still children and aimed at children, are of a much more adult nature. It also feels much more realistic - the human nation of evil looking interestingly realistic compared to the flashy armour of the good-guys brought back from the first movie. In this and other ways, the first movie serves as a backdrop for the viewer of how Narnia could be, how beautiful and safe it used to be, compared to how it is now, in the movie, in much the same way as their memories of their previous stay does the same to the Pevensy-children.

They keep up a decent level of humour, which works very well in the otherwise darker plot. The action-scenes, unlike those of the first one, are quite interesting and engaging. The characters also, though with the weaknesses you have to accept when the story is about children trying to act as adults and with memories of being such.

Speaking of characters - I was again vastly impressed with Edmund. By far my favourite character of the series of books and the BBC-series alike, he keeps it up in these movies. His calm, understated presence, his vast self-control and quick head for one his age in beautiful contrast to his personality before the scarring experience of his own betrayal in Wardrobe. Whenever Peter and Caspian had their (quite understandably motivated if childishly played out) feuds and conflicts, Edmund looks even more the gathered, reasonable grown-up.

I was very happy with what they did with all the four children, actually. This is the last trip of the eldest two to Narnia, and the entire movie was built around how Susan and Peter had various issues and problems with being back there whilst Lucy and Edmund - in very different but equally effective ways - was very much at home and at ease. I'd actually go so far as to say that this was done better than in the book, where their final expulsion from Narnia in the end seems a little out of nowhere. Here, you understand why.

The movie had really only two issues. The least jarring one was the strong sense of a Lord of the Rings-rip-off in the end where we get both the march of the Ents and the washing away for Isengard and the Ringwraiths by Rivendell heavily alluded to.

The other one was the Christian symbolism propaganda. I don't think I've ever seen a movie where the plot was so intrinsically dependent on the viewer accepting certain Christian doctrines and values, foremost of which the blind trust in God. What's worse is, I honestly don't know if I can say that this is a problem with the movie - after all, this only means that it is staying true to the original story. If they skipped this in the movie or toned it down, it'd not be as faithful an adaptation by far. Still, it strongly diminished my enjoyment of the movie - to my mind, the idea of the best option being to sit still and do nothing and trust God to come and help you out is ridiculous and insulting, even if you do believe in Him. Still - in this story He is real, and within the frames of the story, the plot is very well done.

All in all a much stronger movie than the previous one - remember the scenes the first one had with Tumnus the Faun? Well, most of this movie is almost at that level of well done. They've even improved upon the book, primarily by adding a political intrigue subplot in the court of King Miras.

Recommended. I was impressed. A very strong 8/10 if you think you can stomach the Trust In Aslan-plot.

Wow. Never thought I'd live to see the day.


Indiana Jones is more than a franchise, it's Culture, it's Common Background, it's one of those things that are so deeply embedded into the cultural consciousness that the idea of the thing, the concept of the thing, is greater than the actual thing.

Don't get me wrong - I love the old Indiana Jones-movies. Well, I love two of them and think the middle one is alright. But not nearly as much as I love the concept of them. Harrison Ford as the ultimate geek-adventurer hybrid searching for lost treasure and solving mysterious riddles is Epic and, as Barney would say, Legendary.

The odd thing is, he doesn't really do that much of that. Yes, there's a big Mystical Treasure in each movie - but the only one where the main part of the movie is really the actual search for it is the third one. The death-traps are mostly present only in the opening scenes of the original movie and the finale of the third one - and in the latter case, they're honestly not that impressive. National Treasure has got way more of this stuff than Indiana Jones ever did, and will still never become anything more than a decent rip-off (with a somewhat disappointing sequel) in just about anybody's head. That's not the point - they ARE Indiana Jones. The geeky, at times awkward, at times awesome action-hero will always be Indiana Jones, or some form of copy. And movies with hidden treasures, vast ruins and clever clues in dead languages will always be Indiana Jones. The fact that the movies really used that stuff rather sparingly is utterly irrelevant.

So there is a large expectation to this kind of sequel. It can't really be equated with anything else - not even the Star Wars prequels, as they, by their very nature as prequels, was an entirely different animal. This is a sequel to three stand-alone-movies that needs to do three things; justify itself as a movie in its own right, justify itself as a continuation of the three movies everybody in the audience has seen at least once each, and justify itself as an Indiana Jones-movie - which as I said might have less to do with the second point than you'd think.

Surprise! It does all three. Which quite frankly WAS surprising, at least for me. I was feeling sceptical - I went in to see this movie thinking that, oh, well, as long as I'd get to hear the Most Awesome Theme Ever at least once, it'd be worth the ticket. (I did, too.) But I walked back out feeling happy, satisfied, at ease. And actually, joyfully, craving more.

Now, by all means, it doesn't do them all equally well. Mostly the movie lives up to the second point of the three - which, quite frankly, as a rather huge geek, is the most important one for me. But it's really not that far behind on neither the third nor the first. The movie is very entertaining - the beginning in particular is quite splendid, and while it does get a little less sizzlingly fun for the rest of the movie it's still on the whole a very good ride. And it's definitely Indiana Jones. There are dead languages, there are death-traps and hidden chambers, and lo and behold, there is a mystical treasure. (I believe that with this movie on top of the others, Indiana Jones has personally witnessed that there must be some form of core of thruth to Ancient Egyptian religion, Ancient Mayan religion, Judeaism, Christianity, Shivaism and Kali-worship. That's a rather impressive list, right there.)

The plot was decent - it had some twists that were obvious, some twists that were not, and it mixed the nostalgia and self-referencing in just the right portions with the new stuff, which was a balanced I'd been worried they'd not be able to keep. But they proved me wrong. Another one of the touches I was very sceptical about - having Shia LeBoeuf join the cast as a young, boisterous sidekick - also worked out very well, all things considering, and the movie would've been a very different one and possibly less interesting one without him. The character brings a dynamic to Jones that's new for the character, and additionally makes the action-scenes with the elderly Jones a good deal more believable when he has a young man at his side.

As with any Indiana Jones-movie that's not the original, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sorely misses Belloq. A competator that's Jones' equal hasn't been seen since, and that's a damned shame. Cate Blanchett does do a more than decent job as the Russian überspy, though. After the awesomeness that was The Last Crusade, Sean Connery as Henry Jones Sr. also leaves a void, though he is referenced with great respect (and often to great effect) at multiple points. Also, this movie features the indubitably best of Jones' love-interests returning from obscurity and filling out a lot of blanks.

It's not God's Gift to Cinema by an entire series of long-shots. Nor is it the best movie I'll see this year. But all in all, I'll say this movie is well worthy of being called part of the - I'll say it again - legendary series that is - far more so, actually, than Temple of Doom has ever been. To me, it felt as much as an Indiana Jones-movie as the old ones did. Is it as good as the other two? Hard to say after only having seen it once. Ask me again in five years. In which time I'm likely to have watched it at least another five times.

Because, let's face it, people, while Indiana Jones might get old, Indiana Jones does not. And this, quite certainly, was just that.

Indiana Jones.

A tentative - and very strong - 8,5/10

The Hulk was kind of artsy and dark and weird, and though it had some cool moments it'll hardly go down in history as an example of a successful attempt at making a movie of a Marvel superhero. The Fantastic Fours sadly kind of put themselves on a more kid-movie sort of level, but they weren't as bad as everybody says they are. (Alright, maybe a little bit, but I'll maintain that the casting was pretty good) Elektra, however... And just when Daredevil stood a good chance to redeem himself through the impressingly improving director's cut. But, you know, Spider-man was a pretty darned good movie. And though Dafoe was sorely missed, Spider-man 2 was probably even better. X-men was rather unimpressively decent, but laid a fantastic foundation for the brilliant X-men 2. Both franchises kinda limped their way through the third installments, though Spidey did so remarkably well, but the point is, Marvel's really done some pretty darn good superhero-movies before. Heck, I even liked The Punisher, though I'll accept that while a decent movie it wasn't that good a portrayal of the character.


But this... this buggers those "decent attempts" up the arse, if you'll pardon my French, wipes the floor with Spider-man and gives even Spidey 2 and God Among Insects X-men 2 a run for their money. Even DC's Batman Begins should get a little uneasy seeing Downey Jr. donning his armor.


Because of THIS is the result when Marvel decides to finance their own movies, then I need to look into getting some kind of moviegoing discount card.



Iron Man is the kind of movie that had me go home feeling guilty that I hadn't gotten a premiere ticket to see it. It had Robert Downey Jr. in the main part, and I knew from the second I heard that that I was in store for something good. Now, I'm one of those losers who only really know the man from his relatively short run at Ally McBeal, but he made a strong and lasting impression on me there as one of the funniest and most charming characters the show had (and this was a show sporting the infamous duovirate of Cage & Fish) and I spent every episode the show had after he left hoping he'd come back on. And something in my head just clicked when I heard he was signed on as Tony Stark, instinctively I just knew he'd do a stellar job of portraying the guy who's probably my favourite Marvel character. (Yes, I have a thing for billionaire control-freak geniuses with eccentric alter egos, it's TV2's fault for airing Zorro every weekend when I grew up, let's move along?)

So, my favourite character played by an actor I felt unusually confident would do a good job - and from Jon Favreau, the guy who directed the very funny Elf and was hilarious as Foggy Nelson on Daredevil. Then came the mindblowingly awesome trailer. And suddenly, the movie was out, and people were going crazy praising it. Reviewers, people I knew, online acquaintences with very good tastes, fans of the comics and uninitiated alike. They were all jumping through hoops to tell me how much fun this movie was. It simply had to disappoint, and all that remained was hoping it only did so somewhat.

So, yeah, no, seems like someone decided they'd just skipped the hole conforming to reality-thing with this movie and in an astonishing feat of improbability worthy of Zaphod Beeblebrox, Iron Man lived up to the insane expectations and was all kinds of awesome.

Sure, the plot is rather predictable, particularily due to the very conventional and orthodox use of an overused badguy-formula without any real twists. (Though they do have some half-hearted attempts at throwing you off track) Also, the badguys of the movie are rather flat and uninteresting in their own rights.

It just doesn't matter though. This movie is solid through and through, and aside from whoever wrote the script and the fantastic dialogue, the main credit for that HAS to be given to Downey Jr.. Tony Stark is not just any ass, he's a brilliant ass, and watching this movie, you love him for it every single step of the way. You coo like a fanboy at his (often incredibly lame) jokes and chuckle merrily when he treats people like crap from the very first scene he's in - a scene, incidentally, that's somehow the best scene in the movie without ever making anything coming after it seem like a downer. Spider-man's constant quips were probably one of the more poorly treated aspects of the character in the movies, but that slight has not been done here. And it's even funnier than Spidey's quips, because Parker is too much of a goodguy to mock anybody but the badguys he fights. Stark has no such qualms. You might be the only person in the world mattering to him, and he'll still treat you like your very existance is basically there to convenience him and set up the occasional joke at your own expense.

Which brings me to Gwyneth Paltrow, who surprised me a lot in this movie by being very memorable in her portrayal of Mr. Stark's personal assistant Pepper. I've never disliked her in anything, but I also cannot remember every really noticing her that much. Here, she has a presence on screen that sticks with you, and while nothing bad is to be said about the other major cast members, she is probably the only one who manages to have a scene with Downey Jr. without his stealing it completely away.


All in all, a highly funny and vastly entertaining movie that, ironically, just feels like a set-up to something bigger once it is done. The sequel(s! please?) cannot come soon enough.

A weak 9,5/10


(The only problem is that after this, Dark Knight is kind of forced to look worse, isn't it...)

Supposedly a movie far truer to the source material, this sequel to the first D&D-movie is apparently generally more liked by fans of the game.


Well... that might be. I don't think I'd agree that it's that much of an improvement, though. Of course, I liked the first one far more than most.


The only character from the first movie returning is Bruce Payne's Damodar, now the main villain. While he is referenced in dialogue, Jeremy Irons' character Profion is still sorely missed. And while Damodar was indeed quite awesome in the previous installment, oddly, being the main villain in this one, I felt he actually had LESS personality and LESS iconic moments. Which is too bad.


This movie keeps the stereotypes going, but in a way much truer to D&D specifically, the classes and species of the different characters more spelled out in D&D-terms, and D&D-classics like the evil undead lich (probably the coolest character in the movie) show up as well. I'll admit the main characters of this one are far more interesting than in the first one, and I'll admit the plot is, probably, in its essence, a tad more interesting as well and has a more believable sequence of events to it.

And yet, I didn't really feel it did anything. Damodar is just... there. The political intrigue in the first one, while dreadfully flat, was at least present. Here, there is just Big Powerful Evil, let us Go Stop Him.

I'll give this one a strong 5,5/10 too. It's good, clean, fantasy-adventurous fun that should appeal a little extra to those who, like me, squeal happily when things like liches and dragons are involved on the screen. I mean, nobody said every movie had to be brilliantly multi-layered and original.

Amuck! Amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck...

- Sarah Sanderson, dancing happily around

Somehow, I've never watched this movie before. I have to say, that's too bad. I think I'd have rather liked this way back when. Still did, of course, but probably less than my twelve year old self would have.

On the surface, it's a pretty well-tried out recpe for a children's fantasy movie. A boy and his sister, interestingly joined by the young lad's love interest, has to fight three ancient witch-sisters awakened from their slumber. It does some things that spice it up, thugh, for instance by having the traditional "odd" part of the evil trio (seriously, name one that doesn't have it) be so wacky as to remind me thoroughly of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Drusilla, very amusingly played by Sarah Jessica Parker. Absolutely the show-stealer of the movie.

That being said, it holds a rather high niveu of quality throughout otherwise as well. The children were entertaining, the undead hilarious and the witches both thoroughly silly and scary at the same time. The double-set up of the kids defeating the witches twice in the movie was a clever little twist which freshened up an otherwise rather straightforward plot.

All in all highly enjoyable. 8/10.

[Note that I saw this movie in its (quite excellent) Norwegian dub)

I had very high hopes and very low expectations to this movie. My expectations panned out, sadly, but the movie wasn't a complete waste as with certain select scenes, so did my hopes.

Why high hopes to begin with? Well, the first live-action Asterix-movie was an excercise in blandness. It was alright. It was decent. It was half-amusing and semi-exciting. It was worth the cinema-ticket. It didn't feel like a wasted two hours. And yet I can't remember a single good thing about it. The second, however, was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant, in point of fact. Surreal, silly, funny, almost Monty Pythonsque at times, and, I suspect, very French.

This third one kind of falls between the two chairs. It tries to do what the second one did, but mostly ends up feeling forced and excaggerated. When it does succeed, however, it's quite funny and delightful to watch. It never captures the feeling of perfectly sense-making surreality of the second one, though, which is a great shame. It also feels - maybe due to this - more juvenile and flat than either of the previous movies.

Like the second one - but unlike the first - Asterix at the Olympic Games finds its source material not in an amalgam of the comic book series as a concept, but in one specific volume of the series. (There are, however, references and scenes from other books as well) Also like the second one did, there are quite a few different approaches to the story when compared to the comic book. Completely unlike the second one, it butchers the comic book quite thoroughly. The only things kept from the book feel overly forced and badly pulled off, which is such a shame as it makes the book appear bad. It is not.

While the comic book mixes together everything from the entire Classical era to make as many jokes as it can, it stays true to the history of it in its own way. This movie did absolutely everything BUT that. That being said, after ten-fifteen minutes of cringing, I got used to it and moved on.

The plot had next to nothing to do with the plot of the book beyond the "Asterix and Obelix competes at the Olympic Games"-premise. Instead, they inserted a Brutus-character (decently well done if not at all like neither the historical Brutus nor the Brutus of the comic books) in love with a Greek princess invented for the movie, and a Gaul from our heroes' hometown who has somehow mysteriously fallen in love with this same princess - despite her living on the other side of Europe where he's apparently never went and her being some twenty-odd social steps above him. I'm assuming there's supposed to be a slight hint of the incredibly well done animated movie's "Asterix and Caesar's surprise" (I refuse to use the American title which is apparently "Asterix Versus Caesar") romance-plot and its corresponding storylines in the comic books in this, but nothing of the genuine affection or interesting twists in it is called back to in any way. What's left is a couple of mildly amusing scenes with Gerard Depardieu's ever-awesome (and ever-rottenly dressed up) performance as Obelix as Cupid's assistant and an excuse to put the plot in motion.

Ironically, the one truly superb, brilliant, hilarious thing about this movie is the one character who didn't even appear in the comic book volume it's based on; Julius Caesar. Beautifully (that's a pun, by the way) portrayed by Alain Delon, who's apparently really famous for people who watch French movies without moustachy Gauls in them, his every single scene was ingenious.


So, what did I think of the movie? 6,5/10. 3 points out of which are brought to the table by Julius Caesar's scenes, out of which I'm giving none a lower score than 9.

That was... enchanting.


The only really bad thing about this movie is how it pretty firmly puts a stop to any tiny lingering chance there might have been of Disney ever doing another prettily animated fairy-tale-movie - because they parodied every single thing they use to do in them in this one, and very well too. It's funny, it's silly, it's pretty, and it's even downright sweet. It manages to be both a parody of your standard Disney fairy-tale animated movie as well as a very nice addition to them in its own right, with the added niceness of a ton of both subtle and blindingly obvious throwbacks to their old classics, particularily Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Sure, it's somewhat predictable - but that's half the point with this kind of movie, isn't it? The comfort of knowing that everybody but the meanie will be happy on the last flip of the page?


And James Marsden is absolutely fabulous as the melodramatic Prince Edward. I also quite liked Patrick Dempsey as the surprisingly kind-hearted New York divorce-attorney, special mention to him as well.

The chipmunk rocked. But the dragon could've been cooler. Which says a lot about what kind of a movie this was.

9/10

Did a rewatch of these some months back and haven't gotten around to posting before now:

In the Beginning
Very, very well done. Sinclair's old flashback-clips are tied into the movie despite the actor's absence, and just about every other central character of the show gets his or her time on screen - and yet this sequel/prequel to the Babylon 5-series works better than any other movie in the franchise. The old, respected Minbari-leader is a great part of why, but Sheridan manages to carry his considerable part of it too. And then there's the frame-story of Mollari telling the whole thing, which is simply splendid. The movie is highly recommended to anyone who's seen the first four seasons of B5 and liked it.
A very strong 8/10

Thirdspace
Basically, this is an extended stand-alone episode of the show. Little special about it beyond that, and the grade is corresponding. Still, decent entertainment.
6,5/10

River of Souls
Now THIS I liked. Ian McShane and Martin Sheen in a B5-movie, for crying out loud. The plot isn't that extraordinary, but still, this is a solid addition to the B5-verse. Additionally it's very pleasing to see a big thing like the Soul Hunters being re-used and not forgotten as a one-ep-thing like you'd expect from that kind of one-episode-plotmechanism.
7,5/10

Legend of the Rangers
This isn't really a movie, but a pilot for a spin-off that never happened. Basically, it introduces some potentially interesting characters, sets up a new big looming threat to the galaxy, and then ends. And yet, you do get some extra insight into Ranger-doings, which is always fun.
6/10

A Call To Arms
Also kind of a pilot, this one for Crusade, but not quite - only two of Crusade's vast cast appears in it, the movie is mostly carried by B5-characters Sheridan and Geribaldi. It's carried very well though - and this actually gets some form of continuiation, too, even if it's nowhere near a conclusion when the continuation gets cancelled. A very well built up movie about the final spasm of the remains of the losing side of the Shadow War, and the dreadful consequences this spasm will have.
A weak 8/10