Lost In Blinks

Last sunday I had a date with my buddy Eric. It wasn't less than a date but more a meeting. We had a drink and afterwards we went to the cinema and watched the new movie with Anne Heathaway.
It was a tepid summer evening and it was not that late so I offered him to accompany me into my direction. But I have to admit that the tram station in my direction was one of the stops of his bus he had to take. So that it was not a detour for him but a long walk.
I was by bike so that I wanted to wait with him for his bus (he invited me to the cinema and paid the little meal we had so that I didn't want to get the feeling that I owe him something or be rude if
I disapear suddenly with the words: ,nice evening, thanks!').
My buddy Eric is a little bit shy. But not shy in the typical way. Eric acts like he would have a broomstick up in his butt. You feel like you would be on a first date ever and ever again. It is like no one of each other gets known better.
But this time as we sat on a bench we had an interesting discussion about love. Especially his break up.
He told me that his girlfriend -the girlfriend where he thought she would be the only one and would be together with her for the rest of his life- has said she wants to break up after four and a half year on phone.
She has called it off on phone.
And I asked him whether they talked to each other face to face after this but he answered no. She (let us name her Karren) -Karren- came to his house took her things and went away. But not alone but with his best friend. With Eric's best friend.
So I asked myself: What makes love with us?
What happens with us when we fall in love?
And why are there people who don't respect that really strong feeling?
If I am in panic because me and Pineapple are currently seperated and I am start to dispute everything and want to break up then Pineapple becomes quiet and says: ,Tell me that to my face next time I'll be in town.'
I think he is right (except that I won't break up).
I mean after such a long time you shared everything with the partner you owe your partner a face-to-face break up. You are indepted to your partner and to yourself for that.
Because you let a partner in your life. You let him/her be a part of it.
You do almost everything with him/her so that it is not too much to ask for if you want a mannered break up.
After weeks Karren has written him a letter glutted with reproaches.
So that Eric even hasn't had the possibility to defend or legitimate himself.
What kind of relationship is this?
Or what kind has it been?
It is the most important thing in a relationship to talk with the partner.
If that is not given the relationship is more a farce than a partnership.
The end of that story is that Eric is still in pain especially because Karren is together with his best friend one week after the break up.
Singing and loving cannot be enforced. But after you've shared moments with the other one I think you want to bear everything in mind one time.
And that should not be disturbed by a bad brake up.

He's tried to stay friends with Karren but she hasn't wanted to.
She even hasn't wanted to talk to him. She only has wanted to be together with Eric's best friend.
And the only things she has left are a letter and bittersweet memories...

Last time I went to the train station I thought about the possiblities in life.
What chances does everybody has in life?
In the last six month one question was really important for me. Namely that me and Pineapple could move together. It is practical for me to move to my university town but he has to finish his study in the town where we live. That was the reason I agreed moving together inside our city.
But he said he cannot and wouldn't be able to do that. Not yet and not soon.
It is obviously that I was really cut up.
But this fact opened a new perception for me and my life. I asked myself what could happen if I really move together with a partner yet. I considered the idea to replace my boyfriend with my brother Glass and to move together with him. But when I will never be independent never be alone and never create something for my own will I ever be able to "survive" in life?
Will I ever be dependent on somebody? Depend on parents depend on friends, boyfriends, fellow students? Or will I be able to handle myself and face the ordinary life?
And what about my future life?
Nowadays it is really difficult to decide between family and career.
Once I asked Princess what she thinks about this and she answered: ,I don't want a career. It is enough for me to get my university graduation and when I have a partner then why shouldn't I get a baby? Or found a family? But of course he has to be prosperous so that I can get the standard in life I want to have.'
Handle a family and a career is so much exacting.
I know lots of women who want to get a baby one time and of course I know women who don't even want to marry.
But what about the 'traditional thought of family' then?
I belong to the women who want to get married one time with a white wonderful dress in a church where the pews are filled with amazing flowers.
Will a baby really destroy a career because of less time?
And what about the independence of each other?
There are girls in my academic year who are already pregnant. They are convinced that they will handle a baby and a study. I am impressed because I could never do that. Mainly because there are not so much benefits for single women with kids or little families in the study.

And what will I do? Will I wait for Pineapple? Is love that strong that you put yourself on hold?
I don't know that yet but I am sure that everything has a reason and that a partner is mostly a decision for a family one time and what the future brings...
It lies ahead.