ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL

Feeling awfully sad...Like its the end of life...or something like that....Dont want to upset my close people wich are trying to do something for me...Smiling...Boss likes idiots )) so I am smiling....but feeling like ate something very very very bitter!!!!
Weather is amazing!!! Gray smoky sky....Fires all around...Everybody are complaining about such bad condishions...and make this more hard to tolerate and not to think about it!!!
Didnt do anything...No unusuful...no usuful....Just nothing...
Waiting when it will come another day....better than this...
28 years old...No brain...no beauty...no knowleges to do something....no skills...only stupid fear....Very very very good man next to me...with amazing blue eyes...loving and taking care of me....Dear mum that wants to do something for me...But I want to disappear..
Remember father that has gone last year...He usually brought me flowers...every birthday....Only he maybe knew how i loved them...Loved flovers but hated my birthday...Dont try to find out a reason why i hate this day....I can tell i didnt want to live...and were ready to give my life to somebody who want and need it..
And I am talking to myself...trying to save tears inside...And I can to do this.
Its my life.AND I LIKE IT!