Live life..

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming ``Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!''
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, ``I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking.'' Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, ``I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?''
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question.For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say ``They've found me, I have to leave the country'' and run off.
6. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
7. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up. For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
8. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
9. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
10. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc.)
11. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means that at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy.)
12. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him in a very derogatory tone, ``The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!''
13. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for you right to take the exam.
14. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
15. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
16. One word: Wrestlemania.
17. Play frisbee with a friend on the other side of the room.
18. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
19. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Start with your calculator, move on to your desk, your chair, anything you can reach.
20. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say ``it helps me think.'' Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase ``Told you so.''

-Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
-The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
-A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
-Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
-A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
-During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen
in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).
-On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
(That explains a few mysteries....)
-Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
-Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
-The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per
side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
-There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange,
purple and silver.
-Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space
because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
-The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
-Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
-If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will
instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who
discovered this??)
-Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down
so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
-The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in
the USA."
-The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
-The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which
stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
-The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player
for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
-Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
-By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot
sink into quicksand.
-Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a
piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
-Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin
look-alike contest.
-An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman
to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
-The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book
most often stolen from public libraries.
-The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
-Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
-In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
-The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
-Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.
-It is impossible to lick your elbow.
-The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
-The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
-Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
-The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
-The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
-111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
-Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
-If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
-Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
-Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
-Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
-Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
-In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
-It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the "honeymoon".
-In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
-It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
-Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.