I am the Masochist kid!

I have found the one,
The one who brought me much joy.
But now the joy it brings is none,
For reasons that pain me so.
You seem to have changed,
From what im used to.
Now sick and deranged.
This is not the one I loved.
I must begin to question,
Is the love i daydream of,
Nothing in this world but fiction?
Can I love whom youve become?
But I too am at fault,
I too am to blame for our disconnection.
Many a woman has penetrated the vault,
That is now the replacement for a heart.
Punishment to me is given,
Of eternal storm.
But what you talk about cannot be forgiven,
The ones you love wont survive without the kindness youve given.
But as a final comment,
I do as you do,
In order for a relationship to stay cement,
No matter the cost to me.
But if you choose to return,
I still cannot promise myself to you.
And from this pain my heart does burn,
Do i still love you.