By Kalpeshkalpesh.mistry. Friday, January 11, 2008 1:06:24 PM
Silly jokes, laugh, haha, funny
these r some of the short nd silly jokes that was sent by my mobile service provider.
Sonu: How many chickens in your bag?
Monu: If you will guess, I will give you both.
Sonu: I think it's 4.
Child beggar: God bless you Babuji, please give me 1 rupee.
Man: You should go to school at this age.
Child beggar: I went there Sahebji, but didn't get even a penny.
Doctor: Lady, you have acute appendicitis.
Lady furiously said: I came here to be examined, not admired.
Teacher: What is stupidity?
Pappu: When my dad looks through a keyhole from our glass door.
Man: I called you for repairing doorbell but you didn't come for 5 days.
Mechanic: I am coming daily sir. I press the bell button but no one opens the door.
Wife: Why dogs don't marry?
Husband: Because they are already leading the life of a dog.
Teacher: Why are you fighting?
Pappu: This fool left the answer sheet blank.
Teacher: So what?
Pappu: Even I did same thing. Now teacher will think we copied.
By Kalpeshkalpesh.mistry. Tuesday, November 13, 2007 3:46:05 PM
shepherd, fun, laugh, IT consultant
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.
The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd: If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-phone, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini- printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers," That's correct, you can have your sheep."
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche.
The he shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not".
The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant ".
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my DONKEY back?"
By sukku. Tuesday, October 30, 2007 8:22:28 AM
Engineers
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
By Kalpeshkalpesh.mistry. Thursday, October 25, 2007 4:22:39 AM
kids, funny, fun
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on?
He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to do. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She than mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots onto his feet again.
She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said,
"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."(DangGoodJokes.com)
By Kalpeshkalpesh.mistry. Monday, October 22, 2007 10:52:59 AM
fartlike, funny, fun
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."(Comedy Central)
By Mainjailtrap. Friday, October 19, 2007 3:18:46 AM
office., Callcenter
10 ways you can do it...
1)after the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2)Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home number so you can call him/her back.
3)Ask them to reapeat everything they say,several times.
4)Tell them it is dinner time,BUT ask if they would please hold.Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. smack your food loudly and cotinue with your dinner conversation.
5)Tell them that all business goes through your agent,and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6)Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up louder... More louder.
7)Tell them to speak very slowly cause you want to write every word down.
8)If they start out with,"How are you today"?,say"I am glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems...
9)Cry out in surprize, "Malina, is that you?" i have been hoping you would call. How is the family?" how is your ****ing husband.?
10)When they insist they are not Malina,tell them stop joking.This works especially well if you are talking to Male operator.
Then tell him to call on office number., and give any other call center number..[/B][/color]
By sukku. Thursday, October 18, 2007 11:34:19 AM
Silly jokes
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
What language do they speak in Cuba?
Cubic!
Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He was asking for directions!
How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
Tell him a joke
when he's a baby!
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!
What is a myth?
A female moth!
By Mainjailtrap. Wednesday, October 17, 2007 10:01:58 AM
clock
A man was walking in the woods and came to a cottage where the walls were covered with clocks.
He asked the woman who owned the cottage what all the clocks were for.
She replied that everyone in the world had a clock, and every time you told a lie your clock advanced a second.
He saw a clock that was hardly moving and when he remarked about it he was told that it was Mother Terisia's.
He then asked where Bill Clinton's clock was.
The woman replied "It's in the kitchen, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
My Opera
