Going back to school, actually.
As long as we have the stubbornness to do it. 
Reporting an Assault of my Ears
Tuesday, 24. November 2009, 17:03:28
I eat my lunch typically in the community room of the apartment complex my client lives in....
Got a little kitchen area, and some comfy chairs and coffee tables, where I pull out my simple lunch and eat in silence most days.
Yesterday, I get there, and there are three women chatting away, pulled up on stools to the kitchen counter. Loud. Animated.
Inside, I'm mildly irritated. But whatever, it's not even my community room. They give me a glossy once over, dismiss me of any value, and continue their chitchat.
As much as I'm keeping to myself, I cannot help the analytical, assessing side of me that realizes quickly the trio is really comprised of one woman holding court and her two followers/enablers who seem enthralled with her every dripping narcissistic word.
I study her for a solid twenty seconds, and note her appearance would give nary a clue what kind of person she is.... She is normal height, slender, dressed casually, and had shoulder-length brown hair pulled back into a headband, unobtrusive glasses. No noticeable make-up.
She looks very normal.
I entered the conversation with her proclaiming how "Janet isn't talking to her" and spend the next half hour explaining why, going into segueways whenever she felt the fancy.
I got to listen to 15 million reasons why everyone should go to her house for the holidays. Um, yeah, like every holiday. Her big family (of four including her), her wonderfully centralized location, her wonderful furnishings, her gourmet cooking skills, her ability to handle chaos, the total mind control she had over her poor husband who likely will never know how much she uses and manipulates him to get whatever she wishes, and so on and so forth.
*shrugs* Beyond the completely crappily demeaning comments about her husband, who is a saint, by the way, in my opinion.... The rest of what was said were valid issues or points or whatever... Right? Maybe.
The source of my utter frustration upon having to listen to her, was two-fold:
1.) Anytime one of her two little subjects attempted to speak that was NOT a comment or question that allowed Queen Bitch to continue the discussion of the world according to her, she swiftly redirected the conversation back to her and then passive- aggressively criticized the offending woman.
Actual example:
"AaaaNYWAY, as I was saying... *scoffs* Dale is at the store for the sixth time because he can't seem to get the stuff correctly... *pause and makes a face and points to offending woman* Did you do something new with your hair??"
*lady touches her hair and her eyes get wider* Noooo.
"Hmmmmm" she says squinting slightly, "looks kinda weird today, *waves her hand and half laughs* "Eh, maybe it's the light in here... Anyway so Dale calls me, can you BELIEVE he had to actually CALL me from the store....?"
The "offending" woman only said affirming things and nodded for the next twenty minutes, and sympathically watched the other women in the trio get her turn at being slammed a bit later.
2.) Queen Bitch couldn't just praise her own wonderfulness, it was always paired with slamming someone else who wasn't even there to defend themselves.
Actual example:
"So I gave in that one time, and drug everyone to Hayward for Easter...Lemme tell you, her entire house is the size of this community room (blah blah more of this travesty)"
"Did you bring anything or did she do the cooking pretty much" dutifully asks the prior conversation smackdown recipient, trying to win back favor with Queen Bitch.
*rolls eyes* "You would think if we had to drive thaaaaat far, I could at least get to just enjoy myself right? *heavy sigh* But noooooo, I brought the cranberry walnut salad, my famous layered dream desert, and, of course, homemade bread..."
"Did she make a ham, then?"
*laughs gleefully* "Roger made the ham....The ONLY thing she made was the spinach dip, you know, from FROZEN spinach and whatnot. I mean, don't get me wrong, it wasn't BAD and all, but her daughter told me she was lucky if it took her a full five minutes to whip THAT up, when I asked (Poor kid was unwitting used to smackdown her own mother
) Frankly, I'm surprised she didn't just buy it from the store, seriously..."
For a half an hour, my ears were assaulted by her bitching, moaning and judgmental crap.
But as I sat there, I had a reality check.
Truth is, there are a lot of people like HER in this world.
The reason it bothered me so, was because I make it a point to avoid people like her, and therefore, do not have to listen to this type of discussion ever.
And made it a concrete point in my brain to be on the lookout for this type of offending behavior within myself.
I know I judged this woman here. Yep. I did it. In a way, I feel like a mirror when I write. So much of what I express is what I observe.
And yes, my opinions on it too.
I figure it's important to know who and what you are as a person... But equally important to know what you don't wanna be.
I don't ever wanna be her. Perfect as she thinks she is...
Got a little kitchen area, and some comfy chairs and coffee tables, where I pull out my simple lunch and eat in silence most days.
Yesterday, I get there, and there are three women chatting away, pulled up on stools to the kitchen counter. Loud. Animated.
Inside, I'm mildly irritated. But whatever, it's not even my community room. They give me a glossy once over, dismiss me of any value, and continue their chitchat.
As much as I'm keeping to myself, I cannot help the analytical, assessing side of me that realizes quickly the trio is really comprised of one woman holding court and her two followers/enablers who seem enthralled with her every dripping narcissistic word.
I study her for a solid twenty seconds, and note her appearance would give nary a clue what kind of person she is.... She is normal height, slender, dressed casually, and had shoulder-length brown hair pulled back into a headband, unobtrusive glasses. No noticeable make-up.
She looks very normal.
I entered the conversation with her proclaiming how "Janet isn't talking to her" and spend the next half hour explaining why, going into segueways whenever she felt the fancy.
I got to listen to 15 million reasons why everyone should go to her house for the holidays. Um, yeah, like every holiday. Her big family (of four including her), her wonderfully centralized location, her wonderful furnishings, her gourmet cooking skills, her ability to handle chaos, the total mind control she had over her poor husband who likely will never know how much she uses and manipulates him to get whatever she wishes, and so on and so forth.
*shrugs* Beyond the completely crappily demeaning comments about her husband, who is a saint, by the way, in my opinion.... The rest of what was said were valid issues or points or whatever... Right? Maybe.
The source of my utter frustration upon having to listen to her, was two-fold:
1.) Anytime one of her two little subjects attempted to speak that was NOT a comment or question that allowed Queen Bitch to continue the discussion of the world according to her, she swiftly redirected the conversation back to her and then passive- aggressively criticized the offending woman.
Actual example:
"AaaaNYWAY, as I was saying... *scoffs* Dale is at the store for the sixth time because he can't seem to get the stuff correctly... *pause and makes a face and points to offending woman* Did you do something new with your hair??"
*lady touches her hair and her eyes get wider* Noooo.
"Hmmmmm" she says squinting slightly, "looks kinda weird today, *waves her hand and half laughs* "Eh, maybe it's the light in here... Anyway so Dale calls me, can you BELIEVE he had to actually CALL me from the store....?"
The "offending" woman only said affirming things and nodded for the next twenty minutes, and sympathically watched the other women in the trio get her turn at being slammed a bit later. 2.) Queen Bitch couldn't just praise her own wonderfulness, it was always paired with slamming someone else who wasn't even there to defend themselves.
Actual example:
"So I gave in that one time, and drug everyone to Hayward for Easter...Lemme tell you, her entire house is the size of this community room (blah blah more of this travesty)"
"Did you bring anything or did she do the cooking pretty much" dutifully asks the prior conversation smackdown recipient, trying to win back favor with Queen Bitch.
*rolls eyes* "You would think if we had to drive thaaaaat far, I could at least get to just enjoy myself right? *heavy sigh* But noooooo, I brought the cranberry walnut salad, my famous layered dream desert, and, of course, homemade bread..."
"Did she make a ham, then?"
*laughs gleefully* "Roger made the ham....The ONLY thing she made was the spinach dip, you know, from FROZEN spinach and whatnot. I mean, don't get me wrong, it wasn't BAD and all, but her daughter told me she was lucky if it took her a full five minutes to whip THAT up, when I asked (Poor kid was unwitting used to smackdown her own mother
) Frankly, I'm surprised she didn't just buy it from the store, seriously..."For a half an hour, my ears were assaulted by her bitching, moaning and judgmental crap.
But as I sat there, I had a reality check.
Truth is, there are a lot of people like HER in this world.
The reason it bothered me so, was because I make it a point to avoid people like her, and therefore, do not have to listen to this type of discussion ever.
And made it a concrete point in my brain to be on the lookout for this type of offending behavior within myself.
I know I judged this woman here. Yep. I did it. In a way, I feel like a mirror when I write. So much of what I express is what I observe.
And yes, my opinions on it too.
I figure it's important to know who and what you are as a person... But equally important to know what you don't wanna be.
I don't ever wanna be her. Perfect as she thinks she is...
Nah, I do NOT wanna talk about it. Thanks for NOT asking. 
when my roomie Deja would easily answer "2009" when Ava quizzed her. )
Could come in handy in many situations. 
She won't be the baby in the family anymore.... 
... I sorta think I should find out what he likes and buy stock in some hard candy or gum company. I get inklings a lot, and better safe than sorry, I figure. 
WIDGETIZE