Obsession

*chuckles*

Perhaps questioning my wavering sanity was the thing that tipped the scales.

Maybe you all banded together and petitioned on my behalf a little harder in your heart.

My friend Stacy told me today, she went to God, and demanded He show me mercy. Reward my faith. Give me something GOOD.

*shakes head* I don't rightly know what happened. But suddenly, it did... the sun came out and I really think it's going to be okay. Finally.

*While on lunch, I got a call from my roomie/big bad supervisor... I got a job.

I got my old job, the supervisory one where I ran the house. The one I stepped down from after Boss #9 tried to get me fired with false accusations.

And not just that, but remember how I told them, when I interviewed last summer that I wouldn't do it for less than X number of dollars...? well even tho I technically am in NO position to negotiate.... (My current position was eliminated) They gave me what I'd stated so many months ago was the amount I'd do the job for. The job is different than it was before. Several problem employees are no longer there. Weekends off instead of rotating ones. And real office time. A day and a half every week! My normal crew will be positive people that I enjoy and respect. I'm gonna be around people again!

I start this month.

*Also.... My parents and little brother are coming into town for my Great-grandma's 100th birthday this weekend. And hooking me up with some stuff for a new place. And... a bed and dresser for Ava they found, and sanded and painted for her, so I don't have to buy that! That really touched me!

SOOOOO, I came home, grabbed a long handled pair of pliers, and pulled the crumpled wheel well plastic out that was rubbing on my wheel since the accident, and a piece of trim that was falling off... Dammit, it's good for now.

And started looking for an apartment. Looked at one already tonight.

I just needed something... anything good... to spur me to action. To have hope again.

Know you all have been worried about me.... *gives Carol a special hug and chides her about worrying so when she has recovery to do*

Every response to my pain, my gains, my setbacks, my triumphs... well, I frankly don't know what to say. As I mentioned before, It's been over a year now since I came here... to Opera. Alone. And even though I remained such an island in real everyday life... I wasn't here. You always made me feel genuine care. Someone... *smiles* well, many someones, really really cared about Jen. What was going on. What I was feeling. Believed in me when I lost faith in myself. Gave me strength when I reached inside and found none.

Needed that more than you could ever ever know. I hope... *chuckles* Yeah, I'm gonna give hope a try again. I hope... that this is the beginning of a new start for me.

Consider yourselves totally hugged. For the first time in a looooong time, I cried happy tears. That felt amazing.