Boundaries
Monday, 19. January 2009, 04:23:33
I went out last night for the first time since October. My parents took me down to the bar to buy me some drinks and help me try to meet some people. It felt so great to get out and be in a public place, two double rum & cokes later I was already mingling with complete strangers.
I met a great group of cats around my age. We danced, chugged some beers, and I ended up leaving with them for a little after party when the bar closed down. Most of these people were the kinds of people who most likely grew up in a very closed culture. Y'know the people who grew up in a dominantly white neighborhood, with family values, grace at the dinner table, and sort of oblivious to the rest of the world.
The person I spent most of my time with was this woman named Elizabeth. She felt as if she had to keep giving me disclaimers and warnings or start each conversation with "Please don't take offense, but...". I meet these people all the time, and to be honest, you can't shock or offend me. The only thing in the past that's ever set me off in a fit of rage was being called a faggot out of hatred. Refrain from that, and we're gravy.
She would tell me "My husband isn't sure of what to think about 'the whole gay thing', but he's a cool guy. Just as long as you don't try to flirt with him or make out with another guy in front of him." She would then go on to tell me about how her first time meeting gay men was when she worked as a hairdresser. Now, maybe you can agree with me on this, but it seems that once someone has met one gay person, they've met 'em all and are all of a sudden an expert on 'the gays'. I find it funny more than anything, really.
I have my boundaries when it comes to men. And, quite frankly, I think a lot of gay people give the rest of us a bad name by trying to seduce or shock straight people. These are also the kind of gay people who like to call straight people 'the breeders'. I think that's just straight-up rude. If I meet a guy and I'm unsure about his sexuality, I ask him. I don't try to play any moves on him and try to get him for myself regardless of his sexuality just because I think he's cute. It also just seems that the gay culture is just about sex--like it's some fetish. Fun gay bars from all over get shut down because men will hook up in the bathrooms, parking lots, back alleys, and--what the fuck--even dance floors. If you look at craigslist under Men Seeking Men it's ALL posts of guys wanting a no-strings-attached random sex. It just bothers me because that's not what being gay is all about, in my opinion. But it's just coming across as guys wanting to screw as many guys as he can while he's still got a good-looking body. Let's e honest here, most gay men are extremely vain and superficial.
Okay, I'm going off on a rant here, but the point I'm trying to make is that I think we should all be a little more courteous to other people's feelings and personal space. It's just plain wrong to think that you can be some rebel and make situations hard for others just because you're oppressed for who you are. Just because I think it's cute and funny when women hit on me, doesn't mean that straight men will feel the same way if I start to getting playful.
I do like this group of people and they all live fairly close, so I'm going to make a point to spend some more time with them. I already got invited to an "Anti-Valentine's Day Party" where a bunch of us single people dress in black, get drunk, and tell funny stories of past relationships. It should be a gay 'ol time.
I met a great group of cats around my age. We danced, chugged some beers, and I ended up leaving with them for a little after party when the bar closed down. Most of these people were the kinds of people who most likely grew up in a very closed culture. Y'know the people who grew up in a dominantly white neighborhood, with family values, grace at the dinner table, and sort of oblivious to the rest of the world.
The person I spent most of my time with was this woman named Elizabeth. She felt as if she had to keep giving me disclaimers and warnings or start each conversation with "Please don't take offense, but...". I meet these people all the time, and to be honest, you can't shock or offend me. The only thing in the past that's ever set me off in a fit of rage was being called a faggot out of hatred. Refrain from that, and we're gravy.
She would tell me "My husband isn't sure of what to think about 'the whole gay thing', but he's a cool guy. Just as long as you don't try to flirt with him or make out with another guy in front of him." She would then go on to tell me about how her first time meeting gay men was when she worked as a hairdresser. Now, maybe you can agree with me on this, but it seems that once someone has met one gay person, they've met 'em all and are all of a sudden an expert on 'the gays'. I find it funny more than anything, really.
I have my boundaries when it comes to men. And, quite frankly, I think a lot of gay people give the rest of us a bad name by trying to seduce or shock straight people. These are also the kind of gay people who like to call straight people 'the breeders'. I think that's just straight-up rude. If I meet a guy and I'm unsure about his sexuality, I ask him. I don't try to play any moves on him and try to get him for myself regardless of his sexuality just because I think he's cute. It also just seems that the gay culture is just about sex--like it's some fetish. Fun gay bars from all over get shut down because men will hook up in the bathrooms, parking lots, back alleys, and--what the fuck--even dance floors. If you look at craigslist under Men Seeking Men it's ALL posts of guys wanting a no-strings-attached random sex. It just bothers me because that's not what being gay is all about, in my opinion. But it's just coming across as guys wanting to screw as many guys as he can while he's still got a good-looking body. Let's e honest here, most gay men are extremely vain and superficial.
Okay, I'm going off on a rant here, but the point I'm trying to make is that I think we should all be a little more courteous to other people's feelings and personal space. It's just plain wrong to think that you can be some rebel and make situations hard for others just because you're oppressed for who you are. Just because I think it's cute and funny when women hit on me, doesn't mean that straight men will feel the same way if I start to getting playful.
I do like this group of people and they all live fairly close, so I'm going to make a point to spend some more time with them. I already got invited to an "Anti-Valentine's Day Party" where a bunch of us single people dress in black, get drunk, and tell funny stories of past relationships. It should be a gay 'ol time.
WIDGETIZE