sunnysides Blog

I did my best and it's not enough ...

Why is it if you love someone and he left you, it always hurts? And why it is always hard to let go? Does love always go together with pain and the intensity of pain is always directly proportional to the amount of love and happiness you have experienced?

Most people say " Move on", "Step forward", "Let it go"," You must not waste your tears for him", MIND OVER MATTER. Yes right but it is easy to give advice if you are not in the situation. Mind can easily do that but the heart has always it's reason to continue loving and beating for someone you love. You cannot expedite letting go, you cannot just dump everything that happened to you specifically those sweet thoughts and happy moments;the dreams that you wove together, the plans that you made and the pain that you shared. The time you have been together maybe not that long enough but I believe that quality time together still count most than quantity. You cannot say that it still premature to love someone, for love cannot be measured by time, what it needs to be ripe enough is cultivation by care, respect, trust and communication.

All I know now is time heals everything. I won't force myself to forget him, to screw him and to hate him because it's an act of being hypocrite. How can you hate someone you love most? Hate is another form of love, you hate someone because it's the initial reaction of being dumped and how can you hurt someone you love? I'll just wait until my heart stop loving him, until my feeling is gone. Some will say that this is an act of desperation,and I don't care. I don't want to regret the things that once made me happy,that once made me alive; what I regret most are the things that I didn't do while we are together; because now, I lost my chance already to do it. I maybe did my best, but perhaps my best wasn't good enough to keep him and to hold him