Mooloolababoy

1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2- Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
3- Half the people you know are below average.
4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name
5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8- If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9- All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy .
18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19- I intend to live forever; so far, so good
20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work

Why does it take so long for English Majors to wake up to the fact that we have wasted 2 years at University??When we become juniors, we finally realise, wow, I really didn't try all that hard at English. Why do we have to fail TEM Band4 before we realise this? Is it because when we are in Middle School we have many classes and spend hours a day in classroom studying. We have teachers pushing us hard to learn as much as we can.Then, when we get to University, we hardly have any classes. We get lazy. Our normal study habits that we are used to, just dissappear. We take it easy. We don't put as much effort into our study. When we fail the exam, it is only then, that we think to ourselves "Damn!! If only I had tried harder in the last 2 years." Other University students, who are not English Majors, have many more classes a week. They go to class 30 to 40 hours a week and learn English in their spare time. Many of them have a better English level than English Majors. English Majors practice Oral English 2 hours a week in the classroom and that is all. They never practice their Oral English other than those 2 hours. Other non-English Majors, practice their English every day, maybe for at least 1 or 2 hours. That means that they practice 7 times more than English Majors. No wonder their English level is so high. They are dedicated. They want to succeed. But the thing is, they do it in their spare time. How do we get the English Majors, both the Freshmen, and the Sophomores to wake up before it is too late? How do we get them to not waste the first 2 years of English study at University? How do we get them to become dedicated and eager students again???