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Black Short Story

It was a cold december evening. Albert was stood beside his father's grave -who had died the day before from heart attack- thinking to the all sweet memories of his father and weeping bitter tears of sadness. sudenly a strange thing happened. there was a sound of knocking coming from the grave. he was astonished. he wiped off his tears and listened carefully. that was true. really there was a knocking sound coming from the grave. he was scared, but for a moment he felt a spark of hope. he looked around and saw an oldman digging a grave in the distant. he ran towards him hopefully. when he approached the old man he cried: ''please help, i think my dad is alive. there is a knocking sound coming from his grave. i'm sure he's alive and is asking for help.''
-''ok. calm down. i'll come with you to check it.'' uttered the old man. he put his shovel down and followed Albert towards the grave. when they approached there the old man bent forward and listened carefully. it seemed that somebody was knocking at the gravestone from below. it was strange but true.
''the grave must be dug up.'' said the oldman.
-''ok. and i'll go to the village to bring some people for help. i'll be back soon.'' said albert.
the graveyard was too far from village. there was about half an hour distance between the graveyard and village.
it took more than an hour that Albert came back with some guys. he ran towards the old man and asked him: ''what did you do?''
the old man answered: ''you were right. your father was alive. but dont worry yourself. he's really dead now.''

A terrible accident

Comments

llanbardsley 6. June 2008, 18:03

I really enjoyed this story, yes dark, a catchy but sad twist, and flows nicely.

Morteza7953 6. June 2008, 18:25

thanks for your comment.
i'm still thinking to that integral.
by defining q=dm/dt we can write: m(t)=m(full)-tq
but the integral gets too complicated:-(

Noah503935 7. June 2008, 06:28

I think that it was a great story. I wonder if that could happen to me.

Morteza7953 7. June 2008, 08:10

thanks Noah.;-)

Alper 8. June 2008, 22:35

:smile: merhaba

Morteza7953 9. June 2008, 01:47

thank you Alper for you comment. i appreciate it.

lazybones555 9. June 2008, 09:09

Good story, seems to me more as an anecdote than a really black story, but still very good: short, nothing excessive and quite funny:-)

Morteza7953 9. June 2008, 13:02

thanks for your comment

Yeubek 15. June 2008, 07:31

It has a hook and grabs. Good stuff.

Morteza7953 15. June 2008, 08:01

thanks!;-)

ombolan 18. June 2008, 15:22

nice idea.

Morteza7953 18. June 2008, 15:26

is it noir?

ombolan 18. June 2008, 15:29

i see no white.

Morteza7953 18. June 2008, 15:36

he he

halofuck 18. June 2008, 20:08

That was a very touching story, the ending made it all the better, are you saying something about Iran, or am i looking to much into it?

Alper 18. June 2008, 23:17

iyi geceler :D

Morteza7953 19. June 2008, 03:46

hi dear Alper
how are you?

Alper 19. June 2008, 20:58

Fine,and you ?

do you watch euro2008?:smile:

Yeubek 20. June 2008, 08:43

Hey Morteza, I would like to hear your responce on the comment regarding 'Iran' ~ So what do you say. And also how about a comment on my blog? It would be nice to know what you think.

AbbasArian 20. June 2008, 21:01

it's great and I hope you continue

Morteza7953 20. June 2008, 21:05

thanks
i hope to write a new better one.

firstsightfromyou 21. June 2008, 07:40

it is interesting. i like it. can you give me your nick yahoo ? i want to make friends with you ?

Morteza7953 21. June 2008, 07:51

sorry:-(
i dont have a yahoo ID.
but you can have my msn ID.
albertoldman7953@hotmail.com

Kojack_2.0 24. June 2008, 09:57

ha ha
that was funny

emgaihaykhoc49 25. June 2008, 02:33

good story,i like it, i feel sad when reading it.hope you will have other once

lazybones555 25. June 2008, 06:29

By the way, do you write stories generally, so to say, or that was just the first try?

Morteza7953 25. June 2008, 06:44

hi olga
no this was my first try.

lazybones555 25. June 2008, 07:04

Hi by the way:) rude of me:)
well, that was a very good try, really. I may have asked that question, but i was pretty sure you write such stories on and off:) But it's a pity))) I wanted to beg you to send some of your other sketches:)

Morteza7953 25. June 2008, 07:17

i'll try to do that,
you know that i'm very lazy.

lazybones555 25. June 2008, 07:21

yeah, i remember that :D :D

Captivevet 25. June 2008, 18:11

Yes very funny and very sick, but I am laughing so I must be a sick man also.

Morteza7953 25. June 2008, 18:14

ha ha
what would u do if were that old man?

Captivevet 25. June 2008, 18:32

I would wait for someone to help dig him up. I don't think the old man did anything to try to get him out.

Morteza7953 25. June 2008, 18:43

in this story the old man kills Albert's dad!

Captivevet 25. June 2008, 18:52

No, that would take to much work. If he does nothing, the man will die anyway.

Morteza7953 25. June 2008, 18:57

why too much work? digging up a grave could be done in less than 15 minutes.
mind you, i don't have any experience myself. lol

Captivevet 25. June 2008, 19:03

Blog is finished about Dao. I think the old man figured he was already down there, why waste the effort.

Morteza7953 25. June 2008, 19:06

cool
i'll take a look at it.

mlistewnik 4. July 2008, 07:25

I didn't like the story::left::right::D . Am I the only one? I didn't like the ending, it's too brutal for me. I don't like sad stories, life is too sad for it. I read that some people laughed. I read again now and it still it isn't funny to me. Maybe if it was an aunt, I would laugh, I think I take it very personally. But it's great that you wrote a story that has a plot, good characters, it's really good technically. So best of luck, write as much as you can, so that people can enjoy your art:up:

And what I really appreciate is that you reply to people's comments, all of them. You're a trully dedicated blogger :smile:

Morteza7953 4. July 2008, 09:36

thank you dear friend for telling me your real opinion about the story, i expected csiticism of this story as well,
and i hope be able to write funny stories too.

Captivevet 4. July 2008, 12:28

It shows the casual brutality of life. The son unwilling to dig his father up without help, and the grave digger who figured that he had already buried the man so he might as well stay there.

smnj 5. July 2008, 06:10

that story was good and fresh.waiting for your new posts my FRIEND!!
:smile:

Morteza7953 5. July 2008, 08:33

thanks 'smnj'

Captivevet 5. July 2008, 14:02

I read your story again. It is still funny any yet so twisted.

Morteza7953 5. July 2008, 14:11

hi
i was reading your blog last night. i really enjoyed it. u r very talented in writing.
u know, i shouldn't have written this story, now everybody think that i'm a writer. :lol:
i'm student of engineering, and am very novice in writing.

Captivevet 5. July 2008, 15:17

Well, I cannot write short storys at all, and you seem to have a talent for it. Maybe you should try another one.
:coffee:

Morteza7953 5. July 2008, 15:23

thanks a lot.
i'll try

Morteza7953 5. July 2008, 15:23

thanks a lot.
i'll try

Captivevet 5. July 2008, 15:40

I am serious try another one. You could make it about what you do. That is the secret: Write about what you know about. It really works.

flotsam22 11. August 2008, 16:07

Hey Morteza, I never knew that u can write mystery stories. Very good work. If the story interest the reader, you are successful. No comments on my stories as yet.
: awww: :cry:

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