Tuesday, 24. June 2008, 03:14:28
Psalms, Jesus, soul
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God Psalms 43:4
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Cast Sheep:
A sheep that has rolled over on its back is called a "cast" sheep. It may not be able to get up. It happens mostly with short, stocky sheep with heavy fleeces on flat terrain. Heavily pregnant ewes are most prone. Cast sheep become distressed and can die within a short time if not rolled back into a normal position. When back on their feet they may need to be supported for a few minutes before release to ensure they are steady.
I am truly glad that my shepherd, Jesus Christ, is able to put me back on my feet and even to steady me until I can stand alone.
Saturday, 31. May 2008, 23:07:21
twins, depression, graduation, God
...
Living in the now.
Today is what it is and tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Just for this afternoon I will rest and have peace. The twins both graduated this morning. Family and friends gathered to celebrate with them. After the Ceremony we all went to a wonderful Italian Restaurant and enjoyed a delicious meal. There was only one glitch in the joy of the day when my mother criticized the dress my daughter was wearing. For the first time ever in my life I stood up to her. I said, “You will NOT criticize her on her Graduation Day.” Then I looped my arm through Jenny’s and led her away before she could reply. Our departure was just the right touch until somebody chased us down and told us we were going the wrong way! Hahaha. My perfect comeback and huffy departure were totally ruined and Jenny and I giggled all the way back. Mother chalked my bad humor up to the exhaustion and never apologized. But, she is what she is. She’s not going to change at 80!. I hugged her goodbye when we got home an hour later and it was dropped for today. I can live in the now.
My twins are celebrating with friends. There’s a lot to celebrate. Jeffrey struggled with school since the 2nd grade. He never gave up trying. We did not know until yesterday that he had really made it and would be walking the aisle to receive his diploma. I’m so relieved and I’m proud of him. He looked terrific in his slacks, white shirt and tie. He planned to take them back and return them tonight to get his money back. ($115.00). But he looked so good that the aunts and grandma and cousins all convinced him to keep the clothes. He can use it for his graduation from the Certification he wants to earn from Lamar Institute of Technology.
Jenny, as some already know, graduated Magna Cum Laude and has been accepted to Stephen F Austin University's Theatre Program. She received enough in Scholarships to pay for the whole first year $17,000. Pretty darn good for a small town. I'm awed by her drive and her competitive spirit. She has always been self-motivated and determined to succeed. She overcame the obstacle of losing a beloved uncle, a favorite Drama mentor, a best friend, and two other friends over the course of a year. A Major Depressive Episode almost sidelined her plans, but God is Good and I can live in the now.
There must have been thousands of friends and family that made the hour long drive to get to the Auditorium that we had to used in another city. It was like half the city of Livingston uprooted itself and descended on Lufkin. After the Ceremony the whole kit and caboodle started hunting for restaurants to celebrate with family. Every restaurant was full to the brim. We accidentally stumbled onto a new, undiscovered restaurant that had excellent Italian food cooked from scratch by real Italians. There were beautiful murals on all the walls and the decor was authentic.
Jason is still with me. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep him. But, he’s broke and jobless and, Oh, well, That’s for tomorrow. Today I’ll just revel in the Graduation and rest and recuperate from the long walks in the heat.
Saturday, 31. May 2008, 03:16:19
friendship, poetry, love
]Abide
by frances roberts
Abide with me for a little while
And tell me your stories.
They always make me smile.
The follies of your youth,
The glories of your prime,
And the way you feel now
That you're running out of time.
I've got a few of my own to share
I promise to tell the truth
I'm sure some of them will compare
With all that you've been through.
Tell me of the days when you
Knew true undying love
and stars shined in her eyes
just like the stars above.
Saturday, 17. November 2007, 04:16:15
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Tuesday, 6. November 2007, 01:53:03
God, joy, depression, happiness
...
Pleasure or Happiness or Joy
I saw a topic in another group that asked when was the last time something simple made you happy. I pondered that question and couldn’t really think of anything. I feel content on a Saturday morning when I can rest and have coffee on the porch. I feel satisfaction and a sense of purpose in a job well done or a poem that comes out right. Then I read a magazine article today that said there is a subtle but real difference between pleasure and happiness. The example for pleasure was food. You feel pleasure while you’re eating and when you finish eating the pleasure stops. That’s why people can overeat. The example for happiness was more like how you feel after you’ve accomplished something like, ohh . . doing your exercises or finishing a project. I’m not sure I get it. I have Dysthemia. That means chronic low grade depression with occasional major depressive episodes. I can’t remember a time when I felt “happy.” I had to seek the Lord many years ago to find that there is a huge difference between what the world calls happiness and what the Bible calls joy. Happiness is an emotion. Joy is a spiritual force that comes from indwelling of the Holy Spirit of Christ. I have absolutely experienced joy in the presence of God in prayer, or when studying His word. I have experienced joy in witnessing somebody accept the Gospel and turn their lives over to the Lord. I have watched an angry bitter woman blossom into a gentle, loving person because of a new relationship with God. So for me, for now, joy will have to be enough. Perhaps this is really more a statement of faith than a blog. I think I’m preaching to myself again.[/SIZE}
Saturday, 27. October 2007, 04:09:11
I put this together for a friend's birthday.
Thursday, 20. September 2007, 23:46:44
quotations, depression, Hope, photography
Sunday, 9. September 2007, 03:31:24
I loved you more and better
than ever you loved me.
Your unattainable heart
drew me irresistibly.
Unconsciously, like a moth to the flames,
I poured all of my lonely, lost self
Into the depths of your pain.
I don’t believe I’ll ever
get it all back again.
So I leave a part
of my overreaching heart
tied to your soul
and I’m no longer whole.
It’s only a little piece.
I can surely do without it.
I think you’ll never even
notice that it’s still there,
but can I live without it?
Monday, 27. August 2007, 01:24:42
quotations, love, photography
Sunday, 19. August 2007, 15:49:12
I like blue. There's nothing wrong with blue. To quote yet another song lyric, "There is beauty in the breaking." Write of blue faeries and butterflies. Love AndreaWhen I first posted the poem Gone Hunting in another blog I received the above comment. I decided to accept the challenge and try my hand at something different. I enjoyed the exercise and have remembered the lesson I learned. I do not claim the story as beautiful, but the writing of it was a beautiful thing.BLUE BUTTERFLIES & FAIRIES
"Aunt Sancie! Come Look!" Pammy Kay's lilting little girl voice sounded excited rather than scared so her Aunt Francie slowed her frantic search and took her time picking her way through the forest undergrowth that the child had disappeared into. When she finally struggled through she was covered with scratches. Frances bent over to pull the stickers out of her socks and did not immediately notice her surroundings. When she stood upright to pull the twigs from her hair she was astounded to see herself in a beautiful small clearing. Towering trees encircled a shining patch of green meadow that was dotted with tiny ground hugging purple flowers. The sunlight dancing down through the foliage above seemed almost alive.
She saw the 3-year-old blond child squatting over a brilliant saffire blue flower in the exact middle of the fairy circle. For that was what it was. A real "fairy circle". Frances had heard of them and read about them in fantasy stories but had never seen one. It was so enchantingly lovely that she could understand why people believed they were magic.
Frances caught a glimpse of iridescent blue fluttering wings. The little girl turned to her with shining wide open eyes and whispered dramatically "It's a sairy, Aunt Sancie."
"A fairy?" Frances whispered in reply. Humoring her little niece with a conspiratorial grin she crouched low and tiptoed exaggeratedly towards the child expecting to see a butterfly. Frances was stunned instead by a glimmering tiny lady in a gossamer blue dress sitting fetchingly in the middle of the flower. Suddenly something behind Frances' eyes shifted, her vision blurred and she jerked upright so quickly that she lurched backwards and fell ignominiously onto her ample behind.
Pammy Kay stared in amazement as her stupefied Aunt threw herself forward onto her hands and knees with very little grace and crawled unsteadily towards the beautiful shimmering blue light. Frances' shadow cut across the sunbeam that had been shining onto the flower, one of the petals seemed to flutter and a blue gossamer winged butterfly lifted off from the flower and soared up into the trees.
Pammy Kay jumped up squealing and waving, "Bye Bye Pitty Sairy, Bye, Bye." Turning to her aunt she demanded imperiously, "Say bye bye to the Sairy, Aunt Sancie!"
"Um...Bye Bye Fairy." said Frances with a feeble wave of her hand.
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