Sunday, December 20, 2009 8:55:50 PM
Every year someone will ask how daoism can reconcile with the 'western' holiday season, especially religious holidays such as christmas, this blog post is simply my take on the winter holidays and dao 
Th festival our family celebrates is that of yuletide, which in contemporary society is an almost secular celebration of nature, family, people, love, light and life. Its origins are from the winter solstice which is simply the time of the year, in this case the northern hemisphere, which marks the shortest day and longest night of the year, the celebration which followed, in the various cultures came to represent marking the cycles of nature, the beginning of the wheel turning towards spring and life and the sun. Of course christmas is a christian festival and it is Christmas which is the accepted winter holiday name, but what is christmas in contemporary times but a celebration of nature, family, people, love, light and life, that for christians it is also a celebration of the advent of Jesus whose life represents a re-birth for humanity is also not so opposed to the general principles other winter festivals celebrate. How does Dao fit into my holiday?
The yi jing in all 64 guas explains, explores and illustrates the principles of change within nature and the universe, the winter solstice is the epitomy example of the cyclic nature of change. The yi jing as well as the tao te ching and other daoist works speak of the ideal principles of expression, such as compassion, moderation and humility ... as well as showing appreciation to those around us, to show people they are loved and that they matter in this life ... this is congruent with both yule and christmas, and other winter festivals also. This isn't about giving expensive gifts, or buying expensive decorations, this year we are giving most of our increasingly large family home made gifts, food mainly, as a symbol of our appreciation for them. It is about the gift of giving of yourself without expectation or desire for reward, of enjoying the experience and time with family and friends, with loved ones. I have a friend who volunteers at the local homeless shelter and provides the vegetarian christmas foods for that, which is hosted in the city's cathedral every xmas day, she isn't Christian but attends every year with a multitude of people of all faiths and no faith; she often says it is one of the highlights of her year to see people coming together in a selfless act of giving to each other. it is in these ways that for me dao is expressed at the winter holiday time, whatever name we choose to give our holiday celebrations. For what is a dao cultivator but someone who, ideally and to paraphrase from Dickens, holds the spirits of Christmas in their heart and soul all year around?
A couple of quotes from A Christmas Carol that i think really epitomise the winter festivals and daoist principles to boot "There are some upon this earth of yours," returned the Spirit, "who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all out kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us."
- A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens"And it was a very uncommon kind of torch, for once or twice when there were angry words between some dinner-carriers who had jostled each other, he shed a few drops of water on them from it, and their good humour was restored directly. For they said, it was a shame to quarrel upon Christmas Day. And so it was! God love it, so it was!"
- A Christmas Carol, Charles DickensAnd of course to the dao cultivator it is an ideal, if not always possible in that moment, for it to be a shame to quarrel on any day. "It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good-humour."
- A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens And so it is i will say the winter festivals are indeed very 'dao', or so i have found, whether one views it a secular or religious, and so in the slightly altered words of that wonderful poem the 'night before christmas', Merry winter festival to all and to all a goodnight beccaxx 
Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:15:41 PM
I am going to speak candidly, after a fashion, of my abuse and survival and learning to let go, to live and love without fear and issues getting in the way.
I am doing this in the hopes it will help a lovely lady and her husband find their way, be it to a renewed marriage or to pastures new in as healthy a way as possible.
To give this context I will summarise some of the issues I have had and why: -
• Trust; when ones father has abused one emotionally, physically and in other ways whilst I was an adult – one finds it hard to trust others, if ones father can do those things then why not others; and hard, almost harder, is to trust oneself, if as an adult one accepted this behaviour, treatment, condemnation from ones father then why should ones judgment be trusted?
• Letting Go; Once out of an abusive relationship, whomever that has been with, one can be almost obsessively controlling about every aspect of life, if love happens we can try to hold it, beat it until it obeys us, and if the going gets touch and we loose control running away instead of finding a way to navigate a path healthily and reasonably.
• Hurt; it is easy to take even small subconscious hurts and build them into a castle with full fortifications and thick impenetrable walls. This hinders our ability to communicate with ourselves let alone with others, hinders our ability to listen properly to what they say and leap to any amount of assumptions about their meaning.
• Communication; It is so easy for any communication to become, for self protection, about ‘I’ rather than ‘we’ this can make our point of view myopic, not unhealthy initially, rather a necessary part of recovery, but sooner or later it becomes unhealthy for ourselves and others.
There are more but I think these give a fairly good general view of the issues and how they effect our lives right through till the day we die if we do not take steps to better understand ourselves and cultivate healthier ways of being, interacting with ourselves and others.
And so to the point … (hooray I hear you cry ): - when I ‘discovered’ ‘daoism’ or ‘dao cultivation’ I was just ending an intense course of therapy, therapy had of course taught me tools and set me on the road to a healthier way of being with myself and thinking of and interacting with others and the world in general, what I found in ‘dao cultivation’ principles and teachings, was a road map a signpost if you will of how to go further.
The 3 treasures of the TTC are I think much misunderstood, often assumed to be somewhat ‘fluffy’ and ‘lacking practical application’. I have found that in cultivating the 3 treasures I have reached a greater knowledge of my self, of the world around me, of how the myriad things interact, the basic principles of life and death, birth and re-birth … and the mounting similarities between the various spiritual belief systems:
Whilst on a purely personal level enabled me to live a healthier, happier, life, in a nourishing and healthy way. Before quoting ttc 67 it is important to note ttc 70 ~
Chapter 70 ~ Derek Lin translation
My words are easy to understand, easy to practice
The world cannot understand, cannot practice
My words have basis
My actions have principle
People do not understand this
Therefore they do not understand me
Those who understand me are few
Thus I am highly valued
Therefore the sage wears plain clothes but holds jade
(for Dr J Wu translation see here http://www.terebess.hu/english/tao/wu.html#Kap70 )Simply acting out actions of compassion, humility and moderation is not dao cultivation, but cultivating those principles as roots, roots from which a plant of compassion is born and nourished, a plant of moderation, of humility … these plants then grow into a tree, a tree with well nourished and cultivated roots … the nourishment of said roots come from the overall cultivation practices of the cultivator.
No single principle or way stands alone … I enliken it to two separate people I met, both Jehovah’s witnesses, both ladies … one lady was somewhat vehement that Daoism and myself as a dao cultivator was ‘evil’ her words word ‘daoist whore of Satan’ at one point … to her dao cultivation had nothing to offer anyone and was a tool of Satan.
Her prerogative; I felt kind of sad though that this lady seemed to miss one meaning of the parable of the good Samaritan, a person can be of a different religion and still embody the teaching of ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’ for what is more compassionate, moderate and humble than to stop and help a stranger whom others have abandoned to his fate?
The other lady also a Jehovah’s Witness, we stood and shared our respective spiritual paths for a long, long time and found a lot of similarities, when I shared the story of the holy man, http://goto.bilkent.edu.tr/gunes/ZEN/zenstories.htm (5th story down page) she immediately picked up on the good Samaritan story as saying the same thing in different words.
When I shared ttc 67 … she was amazed that a single chapter could almost sum up the key areas of Jesus’ message to ‘us’ (people) and that chapter would be from a different expression of spirituality … what we found was that far from either of us being ‘evil whores of Satan’ or some variety thereof, we were both people, women, whom had found a spirituality that fit each of us (her Jehovah’s witnessing myself dao cultivation) which enabled us to explore and express the key concepts of compassion, moderation and humility … all be it in slightly different ways. So to ttc 67, one of the key components for me which allowed me to learn lessons of myself to move forward and be healthier in life and with myself.
Chapter 67 ~ Trans Derek Lin
Everyone in the world calls my Tao great
As if it is beyond compare
It is only because of its greatness
That it seems beyond compare
If it can be compared
It would already be insignificant long ago!
I have three treasures
I hold on to them and protect them
The first is called compassion
The second is called conservation
The third is called not daring to be ahead in the world
Compassionate, thus able to have courage
Conserving, thus able to reach widely
Not daring to be ahead in the world
Thus able to assume leadership
Now if one has courage but discards compassion
Reaches widely but discards conservation
Goes ahead but discards being behind
Then death!
If one fights with compassion, then victory
With defense, then security
Heaven shall save them
And with compassion guard them
(For Dr J Wu translation see http://www.terebess.hu/english/tao/wu.html#Kap67 )Returning to the overview of issues these principles have helped me to find my way through: -
• Trust;
… if as an adult one accepted this behaviour, treatment, condemnation from ones father then why should ones judgment be trusted?
In connecting through meditation to the causes of ones self mistrust, in learning about why we feel as we do towards ourselves and others … and in being compassionate to ourselves, moderate with ourselves and humble in the face of the universe we can come to terms with these trust issues and begin to let them go – this translates into our life experiences, and how we interact with ourselves in a kinder manner, with others and how we trust listening to our inner voice … and know through cultivation we are connected to our genuine inner voice and not listening to our fears and issues and mistaking them for our inner voice.
Not unlike a Christian learning through practice, prayer and living life to the teachings of Jesus that they are listening to their ‘god connected voice’ and not their ‘devil voice’.
• Letting Go;
Once out of an abusive relationship, whomever that has been with, one can be almost obsessively controlling about every aspect of life, if love happens we can try to hold it, beat it until it obeys us, and if the going gets touch and we loose control running away instead of finding a way to navigate a path healthily and reasonably.
In being humble and moderate and compassionate, innately, in going through the processes of cultivating these principles in daily life we are learning how to let these things go, because we are coming to terms with them and once coming to terms with has been achieved we then begin the process of ‘letting go’ of these issues and the past as a whole.
Imagine a person who has been beaten, injured in such a way that they have chronic back injury for life … by their parent … and this is one of the milder abuses … how can this person still socialise, converse with, have familial relations with that parent, the abuser, let alone find some degree of peace, harmony and even laugh and joke with this person?
Because they have put themselves through the processes, and committed to the processes of learning about oneself, letting go, applying compassion, moderation and humility to life and themselves …
It is in truth connecting to ourselves and through that connection enabling ourselves to connect to others, to those around us, to those we love and who love us …
• Hurt;
… it is easy to take even small subconscious hurts and build them into a castle with full fortifications and thick impenetrable walls. This hinders our ability to communicate with ourselves let alone with others, hinders our ability to listen properly to what they say and leap to any amount of assumptions about their meaning.
These hurts we allow to grow because we become disconnected from ourselves and from those around us … if they have their own hurts that they also are allowing to disconnect them from themselves, then we get a circle of hurts speaking and no ‘truths’ speaking.
Imagine then if we can cultivate ourselves to a point where we have come to terms with the past, learnt to let go of those issues from the past, and as such the hurts we interpret and hold to often take on a new context and we can often be the ones who step back from exchanging hurts and begin exchanging productive truths, even humour at the situation, although this last is subjective to each situation.
• Communication;
It is so easy for any communication to become, for self protection, about ‘I’ rather than ‘we’ this can make our point of view myopic, not unhealthy initially, rather a necessary part of recovery, but sooner or later it becomes unhealthy for ourselves and others.
So to communication, the culmination of the above processes perhaps, at least in realising this plateau. (A new beginning, a step up to finding other plateaus)
When we see that we are not isolated, that we can trust ourselves and through that others, we can learn to listen to ourselves and others, and through this we can learn to listen and talk with each other with our inner selves, and find nourishing ways through even the toughest of times.
As Jesus would use parables in order to communicate his ideas to different people, who listened in different ways, we too can learn to convey our messages (not to relate us to Jesus of course) to others in ways fitted to who they are and what our relationship is to us … equally we can learn how to listen in a variety of different ways to get the fullest meaning of what others tell us as we can manage …
How does this translate into specific examples in life; in re-connecting to myself I have been able to open myself up to life experiences, reacting positively to others and moments of stress. Case in point, I am in a long distance relationship, have been now for over a year, with an incredibly lovely man, we do not see each other nearly as much as either of us would like … currently ... he has also had a difficult personal life this last 6months, his mother and daughter have both been in and out of hospital, his emotions have been hurt by these situations … all of these things would in the past have triggered, my issues of trust, letting go (or not letting go), hurt and communication.
Instead of this horrible process of mistrust of me or of him or holding onto past negatives, of finding hurts to hold onto, and in failing to communicate and listen which leads to acrimony, confusion, loosing sight of love, of friendship, of oneself, of the lights in life. One goes through a different process … 
One has peace of mind, simplicity, instead of searching for complicated ways of getting ones own way, of being myopic, one sees the whole, is able to be intuitive, through knowing oneself, ones virtue, and so an see that being together is not just a physical thing, indeed one can be physically together and be apart, but to be physically apart but still be connected, by connected here I mean together as partners not two people poles apart, that enables both of us to give and seek succour, to find a way back to ourselves.
The Yi Jing gua Tong Ren Seeking Harmony the meaning of Huang summarises with the Chinese maxim “People in the same boat help each other, sharing weal and woe.” This according to Alfred Huang is an expression of true harmony, it is easy to feel in harmony with each other in times of sunshine, but takes some work and compassion, moderation and humility with ourselves and each other to be in the same boat sharing weal and woe whether we are physically there together or not … the key to true harmony is unselfishness – this does not mean to harm the self or put ourselves in severe risk, but to view a situation from a position of humility, moderation and compassion and the connection to ‘dao’ that is inherent with rooted cultivation of these treasures. “People might be kept apart by different kinds of obstructions that cause them to weep. But when they remain truthful in spirit, nothing can really separate them. After they experience the difficulty of separation, they are able to appreciate the true joy of union.”Confucius said of true harmony: -
“When two people become one in their hearts
They are as sharp as a knife that is able to cut iron.
They cherish the same idea and follow the same path;
Their words are like the perfume and fragrance of orchids.”
(Huang, A. 2004: pp 140-141) It is possible to find this place if one has come through abuse by going through a process similar to the one explained (sorry for the length guys) above.
One of the nicest things about his is even if whichever situation we are in doesn’t end up as we envisaged or hoped, be it a relationship, friendship or another situation entirely, if we are able to act within the rooted principles of harmonious behaviour, attitude, to be with virtue as the TTC would say, then the situation and or those involved will still have some sort of positive outcome, even if it isn’t the one we hoped it would be.
It won’t be overnight and roots do need maintaining, so we shouldn’t take forgranted any process or benefit it all takes continued maintenance, although the longer we cultivate the easier maintenance can seem … Why have I shared this? Because it is my hope that this will help people coming through various forms of abuse, be it abuse by another being, abuse of substances and so on … to find a way f understanding how dao cultivation can help us through … the first step is to take responsibility for ourselves and our own recovery … and how in doing so this can plant a seed which if we work upon, and cultivate we can grow deep nourished roots from which plants can grow which can permeate all of our lives, positively, whatever the life situation we face.
Becca
Wednesday, August 26, 2009 1:27:43 AM
hi,
There are times when life reminds us of the importance of ‘living in the moment’ – on Sunday night I found myself with a severe bout of gastroenteritis so severe that severe de-hydration was quick and brutal, a painful night and day in hospital followed with delirium and with diarrhoea and sickness related incidents I won’t go into, on coming around finally sometime on the Monday it was to be told I was fortunate to have got to the hospital when I did as the de-hydration was serious and if left much longer could have resulted in permanent severe health problems or even death.
Although I most certainly do not wish to go through that again, in many ways it was a wonderful (if icky) illustration of the gift ‘living in the moment’ can be, we none of us know what is around the corner if we greet each moment as the wonderful gift it is and enjoy the experience be it ‘bad or good’ then what more can we ask from this life but to live it and experience it without allowing fear and worry to blunt the experience?
A line from one of Derek’s articles occurred a few times during my more lucid moments on Monday afternoon: -
“You will find that the present is literally a wonderful present. It is a miraculous gift filled with peace, contentment, energy, and excitement. It is a box full of delicious strawberries.”
http://www.truetao.org/living/2003/200301.htm
Whilst recuperating today at home I was flicking through the TTC and out of all the chapters kept landing on ttc 50: -
Chapter 50 - trans derek lin
Coming into life, entering death
The followers of life, three in ten
The followers of death, three in ten
Those whose lives are moved toward death
Also three in ten
Why? Because they live lives of excess
I've heard of those who are good at cultivating life
Travelling on the road, they do not encounter rhinos or tigers
Entering into an army, they are not harmed by weapons
Rhinos have nowhere to thrust their horns
Tigers have nowhere to clasp their claws
Soldiers have nowhere to lodge their blades
Why? Because they have no place for death
http://truetao.org/ttc/complete.htmthis physical life is fragile, what a waste it would be to ignore it and pretend it is of no import, each smell, taste, view, noise, feeling can be 'experienced’ as if for the first and last time, the 'awareness' is profound, can be profound ...
I could probably go on and on, but it might be best to leave it with minimal gushing about the wonder of ‘dao’ and its principles
peace to you
beccaxx
Sunday, July 19, 2009 2:26:05 AM
As some of you will know (probably) i have been in (and am still in) an relationship with someone who (to be a little tacky and soppy) seems to 'complete me' -- i had been pondering how this 'fit' into daoist teachings and how to express what i had been pondering -- on an unrelated matter i was, as is occasionally my want perusing my copy of dereks translation of the Tao te ching, when i happened across his dedication to janice (source at end of post)."Finally, this book is dedicated to Janice Lin, the one person who makes everything possible. she holds the key that opens the door to all wonders."
Aside from being a truely moving tribute to someone whom has always come across as a lovely person via email, it showed me where to begin contemplating the means of expression for my own relationship, a place i would ordinarily have been looking, and perhaps instinctivly i was which is why i was immersed in my copy of the TTC today. So taking the old adage 'begin at the begining' i began with TTC 1 'door to all wonders' Chapter 1
The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things
Thus, constantly without desire, one observes its essence
Constantly with desire, one observes its manifestations
These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wondersA wonderful place to begin for truely in any truely 'harmonising/harmonious relationship' for what better to sum up TTC 1 than that or true harmonious, natural balance, that egalitarian relationship of yin-yang in constant harmonious movement in unity manifest and mystery.
Yet, it felt a little incomplete for the true feelings experienced in such relationships, so i read on, and truely i do reccomend a cover to cover, side to side, upside down and back to front reading of the TTC, (a good translatiosn such as derek lin's, Dr J wu's or D C Lau's are excellent places to start) we can become a little de-sensitised i think to the wisdoms it contains; still i read on and 'felt' a subtle 'click' a true enlightenment moment when i read and re-read TTC 16 Chapter 16
Attain the ultimate emptiness
Hold on to the truest tranquility
The myriad things are all active
I therefore watch their return
Everything flourishes; each returns to its root
Returning to the root is called tranquility
Tranquility is called returning to one's nature
Returning to one's nature is called constancy
Knowing constancy is called clarity
Not knowing constancy, one recklessly causes trouble
Knowing constancy is acceptance
Acceptance is impartiality
Impartiality is sovereign
Sovereign is Heaven
Heaven is Tao
Tao is eternal
The self is no more, without dangerThere is little i can add to this perfect illustration of harmonious relationships, this is not to suggest there are no difficulties to face, there are difficulties in life and these we must find ways of dealing with whether we are in relationships or not, to be true to each other, to be ones 'true self ' (return to roots - constancy and tranquility) this i think allows us to come through such times of turbulence flexibly and yet also strongly, as illustrated i think by chuang tzu's 'waterfall' ~ link story - what do we do but follow the nature of ourselves, each other and 'dao' ... Thank you for letting me waffle on about this; i in no way beleive relationships (romantic ones) are essential in life or to be complete as a person or dao cultivator, this is just where my life is right now and hopefully what i've learnt will help both myself and others to grow, this is all i hope for in sharing this. 
peace to you
beccaxx
www.Taoism.net and Tao Te Ching: Annotated & Explained, published by SkyLight Paths in 2006 pp 167 paragraph 6.
Sunday, July 19, 2009 1:02:52 AM
I first came across this teaching, or a version of it, many, many moons ago taught to me orally by my 'meditation' sifu before i'd even heard of 'daoism' (she was, and is, a medicine women and shaman of a northern american first persons forest tribe) once i began learning about 'daoism' this teaching kept coming to mind.
anyway something which occured recently, brought it to mind forcefully.
Some people have such turbulence in their lives, their romantic lives, their friendships, life in general, that they conduct their relationships, their lives in a chaotic manner, even if intent is good the methods are often harsh, turbulent and cause more harm than good even though thye might not always intend that harm.
Someone i know had a friend of theirs 'confront' them about a choice that person had made that this person disagreed with vehemently; it should be noted at this time that the problem (though private so confidential) was a small one, a matter of perspective only and any agreement or disagreement moderatly and fairly expressed was imaterial: - Anyway, this 'friend' proceeded to be 'honest', is that way that is fairly horrible to observe, 'honest' as a form of condesention and patronisation, as if the onyl possible way to see the situation was from their perspective, and any compromises offered where worthless, even though the compromise would have eased the situation completely and been much more nourishing to all.
As an observer of these events and having been invovled in one or two myself in both the above roles -- a few thoughts struck me.
In dealing with such situations it is so easy to be lured by pride and ego to respond in kind, or similarly, to 'feed' both the situation and the less nourishing aspects of ourselves.
Sometimes folks who initiated these situations will do so with good intentions and if 'daoists' often use TTC verses such as 81 to explain their actions.Chapter 81
True words are not beautiful
Beautiful words are not true
Those who are good do not debate
Those who debate are not good
Those who know are not broad of knowledge
Those who are broad of knowledge do not know
Sages do not accumulate
The more they assist others, the more they possess
The more they give to others, the more they gain
The Tao of heaven
Benefits and does not harm
The Tao of sages
Assists and does not contendYet in actuality TTC 81 speaks of the opposite of what folks often think, it is not advocating being harsh and contending; if there is a problem we feel firmly about then we have to choose which wolf we let influence our actions and behaviour; which wolf will we feed?
Will we bring contention into our lives and the lives of others; if contention and turbulence is how we interact will we even be aware of how our actions hurt those around us who are not comfortable with turbulent and contentious interactions? Whilst they are baffled by our response and attitude, perhaps we are baffled by their hurt and bafflement, afterall we have only been 'honest'? right? or perhaps we have forgotten what TTC 81 speaks of the sages bearing in mind when action is required -- 'cause and effect' -- once we have been thoughtless of the feelings of others, of friends, loved ones etc, then this often causes hurt and bafflement, even if we feel stringently we are in the 'right' -- the TTC and yi jing, speak both overtly and implicitly about 'cause and effect' and choosing our paths and actions carefully, with thought for those around us, with what buddhists refer to as 'mindfullness' or 'awareness'.
If 'you' (generic label) are in the 'wrong' and someone gave you no benefit of the doubt, cut 'you' no slack and just criticised endlessly whenever that person disagreed, be the issue large or small, would 'you' be more inclined to remember any 'points' raised or just the acrimony exhibited? Human nature being what it is most of us, including advanced dao cultivators remember the acrimony and any points get lost by the wayside.
What if we had what we felt was a 'valid' point that we felt needed consideration and instead of cutting foks no slack, giving no benefit of the doubt, instead of being 'honest' we did it carefully, with awareness, mindfullness and kindness, if the person didn't listen then no harm is done, what the yi jing would call 'no fault' if they do and we create a nourishing situation then we have a situation the yi jing would call 'auspicious'.
In the situation which prompted this post my friend and their 'friend' are barely speaking, avoiding each other and in the words of my friend "i do not know whether 'X' is the person i thought she was, i do not know if i ma the person i thought i was, all i know is these situations have worn me down to a nervous mess around her" -- in such a situation, regardless of whom was 'right' initially there is no 'auspicious' situation ahead nor any 'no fault' either -- ultimatly no-one was 'right' or nourished.
Perhaps, just perhaps, instead of doing it 'honestly but thoughtlessly' and offering no apology when brought to our notice or ignoring and refusing any compromises folks offer or make before we become 'righteous' and 'honest' at people, exhibiting our turbulent preferences, we should think which 'cause and effect' will i begin -- if we wish to be honest we should first ask ourselves 'which wolf will win?'peace to you
beccaxx
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:19:24 AM
Knowing Fish
One day Chuang Tzu and a friend were walking by a river.
"Look at the fish swimming about," said Chuang Tzu, "They are really enjoying themselves."
"You are not a fish," replied the friend, "So you can't truly know that they are enjoying themselves."
"You are not me," said Chuang Tzu. "So how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?"even chuang tzu had a thing about personal presumptions ...
Odd though but every domestic abuse susrvivor i've spoken with has said that one thing that triggers problems for them is when people make negative persoanl presumptions, the other is when they feel unseen, or only seen from one side and not the full and diverse folks they are. Tends to make them internalise the above and when they don't they feel hurt and often unwelcome. (1 in 3/4 women and 1 in 6/7 men go through hetrosexual spousal abuse in the UK and US, thats one form of abuse, factor in the others thats alot of people, factor in many folks find daoism through therapy thats another load of folks)
How hard is it i wonder to walk a mile in other peoples moccasins and realise that our words we think are so unhurtful and 'mindful' create a wealth of problems we may never know because we're too busy resenting, shouting at and shooting the messenger.
We all do it, even the best and most sincere of intentions backfire from time to time often spectacularly and often in such a massive way folks forget the good we've done and acheived almost instantly.
over the last day or two i've kinda had a crisis of confidence, even basic confidence in basic choices and instincts -- still having it truth be told although writign this blog entry has helped somewhat .... thing is i was begining to seriously doubt my and others perspectives on personal presumptions and their negative impact, i was reading zen blogs for a bit of peace and contemplation, and came across the above from chuang tzu, and you know what, negative personal presumptions are an impertinance at best and deeply wounding at worst any dao cultivator worth their salt would avoid them like the plague where possible, they do no-one any justice at all.
much the same can be said for taking people only on one facet of their knowledge, i've been told it feels like objectification for many; does it hurt us to be more mindful of how we deal with others? God knows i need to work on that as much as anyone else, but what is it ttc 71 says about fault? Chapter 71
To know that you do not know is highest
To not know but think you know is flawed
Only when one recognizes the fault as a fault
can one be without fault
The sages are without fault
Because they recognize the fault as a fault
That is why they are without faultin recognising a fault this is how sages are without fault -- this is not saying sages make no mistakes, but that the very ability to recognise faults and try to learn from them makes what the yi jing calls 'no fault' coupled of course with sincerity of action.
Not sure precicly what has happened but in writing this blog a few thigns have clicked into place, things i've allowed others to dislodge ... go to love this wonderful safe haven even if i don't update it as much as i probably aught.
Thanks for bearing with the waffle
peace to you
beccaxx
Wednesday, January 28, 2009 5:04:05 PM
A short post only, to explore some concepts that possibly are easily misunderstoodChapter 67
Everyone in the world calls my Tao great
As if it is beyond compare
It is only because of its greatness
That it seems beyond compare
If it can be compared
It would already be insignificant long ago!
I have three treasures
I hold on to them and protect them
The first is called compassion
The second is called conservation
The third is called not daring to be ahead in the world
Compassionate, thus able to have courage
Conserving, thus able to reach widely
Not daring to be ahead in the world
Thus able to assume leadership
Now if one has courage but discards compassion
Reaches widely but discards conservation
Goes ahead but discards being behind
Then death!
If one fights with compassion, then victory
With defense, then security
Heaven shall save them
And with compassion guard themI think we all can get this view of compassion as somehow 'fluffy' and 'gentle' and indeed it is and can be, but i think sometimes we make the mistake of shying away from reflecting some home truths out of a misplaced sense of 'gentle' when perhaps the most compassionate thing in the long term is to show someone the true ramifications of their actiosn and behaviours?
This is i think particularly pertinant in cases where multiple innocent people get hurt by the behaviour or one or two people whom no-one has wanted to be 100% honest with regarding the negativity of their own behaviours.
Sometimes in nature we see gentle days, gentle rains and sometimes hard rains whilst causing seeming devestation in the short term allow for positive change and growth in the long term.
Just somethign to consider and in no way is this advising us all to go off half-cocked and laying it on the line for everyone we know, just as nature uses harsh weather at the opportune moments so too must we consider carefully before taking any step that amy cause harm short or long term. Just saying sometimes true compassion is about more than giving someone a cup of tea and a hug.
peace to you
beccaxx
Saturday, January 17, 2009 12:34:04 PM
Compassion, conflict, Dao
This post is not intended to take a political stance merely a dao cultivation and humanitarian one.
Chapter 67
Everyone in the world calls my Tao great
As if it is beyond compare
It is only because of its greatness
That it seems beyond compare
If it can be compared
It would already be insignificant long ago!
I have three treasures
I hold on to them and protect them
The first is called compassion
The second is called conservation
The third is called not daring to be ahead in the world
Compassionate, thus able to have courage
Conserving, thus able to reach widely
Not daring to be ahead in the world
Thus able to assume leadership
Now if one has courage but discards compassion
Reaches widely but discards conservation
Goes ahead but discards being behind
Then death!
If one fights with compassion, then victory
With defense, then security
Heaven shall save them
And with compassion guard themIt seems that the art of fighting with compassion has long since been lost -- not only do we see various 'freedom fighters/insurgents/terrorists' attacking civilians but now we see a nation state putting their destriction to shame by actually herding civilians into homes and city centres 'for their own safety' and then according to reports given to human rights watch shelling said homes and city centre(s). Then we see southern israel gettign hammered with thankfully inaccurate rockets and thankfully face a much lower injury and death toll than the civilians in gaza whose child death toll is not over 320 and counting.http://www.hrw.org/en/news/2009/01/16/israel-stop-shelling-crowded-gaza-cityThe death toll from yesterday's military operations remains unknown, but media reports quoted Gaza health officials as saying that 70 people had died (the reports make no distinction between civilian and combatant casualties). As of January 14, 1,013 Palestinians had died, including 322 children and 76 women, according to the Gazan Ministry of Health. An additional 4,560 Palestinians reportedly have been wounded, including 1,600 children and 678 women.
The attacks on Gaza City occurred after the Israel Defense Force (IDF) had warned Gaza's residents to flee to city centers. According to the Israeli government, on January 3, the IDF began broadcasting warnings that told people, among other things, that "For your own safety, you are required to leave your homes immediately and move to the city centers." Despite these warnings, the IDF has launched attacks against the Gaza city center, causing civilian casualties.
"Israel warned civilians to go to city centers and later shelled the center of Gaza City with a weapon that should never be used in densely populated areas," Garlasco said. When will we realise that Ghandi was right - "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" -- it is true that in daoism and dao cultivation self defense is not frowned upon, but i can't help but feel that the way we are going there will be so much self defense going on that the cycles of hatred, anger and killing of innocents has no hope of ending.
I have no answers but i hope we can all feel empathy for ALL the victims of these conflicts.
Chapter 43
The softest things of the world
Override the hardest things of the world
That which has no substance
Enters into that which has no openings
From this I know the benefits of unattached actions
The teaching without words
The benefits of actions without attachment
Are rarely matched in the worldpeace to you
beccaxx
Monday, September 15, 2008 2:21:37 PM
One step of dao cultivation that i have found to be invaluble; indeed the root/foundation from which all other lessons have grown from, is to know oneself.
What does it take to know oneself?
It is an on going process but some key elements i have found in knowling myself and growing internally are: -
To accept that if this life is it, it is our one shot when we die we go into the ground and get eaten by worms, decompose into the soil etc .... once one can 100% accept that with no fear (and often it takes some time to accept and unattach from our attachment to living as long as possible come what may) then one has learnt a great deal about oneself, learning how to begin letting go of fear and attchment along the way.
Once we can accept the above we will find it easier in some respects to unattach from people, to learn we can no more hold people or things to us than we can capture the wind; all we can do is get in a mess in the attempt ....
in knowing the above and hence ourselves we can then know how to live life and enjoy each moment, whatever that moment brings.
None of this means we do not love or cherish familiy, friends or lovers - just that we do not grasp onto them - we allow them like the wind to be themselves and walk their own path, sometimes it will be with us sometimes not.
Indeed the above can leads us to the knowledge that as much as we interact with others, and walk alongside them on occasion, we walk similtaneously, alone & as part of the whole - alone and together: -
This is of course just the process explored; the epiphanies we find about ourselves will be in many areas unique to each person. Chapter 33
Those who understand others are intelligent
Those who understand themselves are enlightened
Those who overcome others have strength
Those who overcome themselves are powerful
Those who know contentment are wealthy
Those who proceed vigorously have willpower
Those who do not lose their base endure
Those who die but do not perish have longevitypeace to you
beccaxx
Tuesday, August 26, 2008 12:53:23 AM
How often do we consciously or sub-consciously allow our fears, issues, insecurities dictate what we do or don't do, do or don't experience?
To just release those fears, inhibitions and feel, experience is one of the central themes to this zen story. One day, while walking through the wilderness, a man encountered a vicious tiger. He ran for his life, and the tiger gave chase.
The man came to the edge of a cliff, and the tiger was almost upon him. Having no choice, he held on to a vine with both hands and climbed down.
Halfway down the cliff, the man looked up and saw the tiger at the top, baring its fangs. He looked down and saw another tiger at the bottom, waiting for his arrival and roaring at him. He was caught between the two.
Two rats, one white and one black, showed up on the vine above him. As if he didn't have enough to worry about, they started gnawing on the vine.
He knew that as the rats kept gnawing, they would reach a point when the vine would no longer be able to support his weight. It would break and he would fall. He tried to shoo the rats away, but they kept coming back.
At that moment, he noticed a strawberry growing on the face of the cliff, not far away from him. It looked plump and ripe. Holding onto the vine with one hand and reaching out with the other, he plucked it.
With a tiger above, another below, and two rats continuing to gnaw on his vine, the man tasted the strawberry and found it absolutely delicious.Of course letting go of living through our fears does not mean being uncautious in life, or to ignore instincts telling us to be careful ... the message is very much about harmony, living without fear whilst bearing in mind, mindfull action, moderation, humility, compassion, awareness of self and so on.
TTC 63 points us to ways we can deal with letting go, baby steps, break things up into bite sized peices and even the most difficult tasks will be easier.
This is also a lesson i think all of us learns and re-learns throughout our cultivation and life; it is certainly one i keep learning and re-learning as i walk this crazy path of dao cultivation and life experiences.
peace to you
beccaxx
Zen story source and full article can be found http://www.taoism.net/living/2003/200301.htm
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