Humbled
Wednesday, 4. June 2008, 17:06:24
hi,
Some of you have perhaps been wondering why i haven't been about so often; we have adopted an ex-racing greyhound, who had reached 4 stopped doing well, has scars all over her and was abandoned. She is very nervous and it took along time to get her to come to me in the kennel let alone outside the kennel into the scary world beyond.
but in taking that time to get her trust enough to follow me outside and come meet Jessica (my border collie) and Thom my brother we set foundations, solid foundations, for her future.
By essentially learning about her, by being humble in front of her nervousness (looking away, standing/sitting side on, giving off canine calming signals (licking ones lips, yawning, blinking) ) by showing her moderation, (not pushing her to go faster than felt right for her) and by showing her compassion and caring (loving her for who she was there and then and not loving an illusion of whom she might be or who i wanted her to be) i earned her trust and knowledge about her.
She is now living with us, and those same principles applied through the methods of gentle training mean she is coming on in leaps and bounds at her own pace and for her.
This experience taught me how we take forgranted our wish and often need to enforce our view of a situation, our way of doing things onto others (people and animals) ...
And i thought i wonder what wouldhave happened had i not shown humblness before her nervousness, if i had walked in front facing reaching for her with no regard for her other than superficially.
What if i had not been moderate in taking things a steady pace set by Rhia (her name), had dragged her out of the kennells or tried to instead of being patient enough to earn her trust.
What if instead of loving the nervous dog in front (or to the side of me in this case) i had wanted her to be other than she was and tried to make her express behaviour she was not ready to yet?
Maybe if i did one or all of these things her reaction would be defensive, or perhaps she'd just have slunk away to hide or something else entirly .... and instead of now living with a loving, increasingly curious, slightly playful dog (and she has only been here since sunday morning) things would be very different.
Is this not the same with people though? we have expectations of what a 'taoist' or 'dao cultivator' is or we don't like the labels at all and shy away from labels so much we chastise others who use them ... either way do we not all soemtimes try to force others into our expectations, to go at our pace not theirs, to ignore their feelings ... to in essence ignore some of the most fundemental and central teachings in the TTC.
Perhaps if it works with dogs in this case it might work with people also?
Needless to say the experiences with Rhia are both joyous and humbling, tinged with moderation and lots of mutual compassion and caring.
Chapter 67
Everyone in the world calls my Tao great
As if it is beyond compare
It is only because of its greatness
That it seems beyond compare
If it can be compared
It would already be insignificant long ago!
I have three treasures
I hold on to them and protect them
The first is called compassion
The second is called conservation
The third is called not daring to be ahead in the world
Compassionate, thus able to have courage
Conserving, thus able to reach widely
Not daring to be ahead in the world
Thus able to assume leadership
Now if one has courage but discards compassion
Reaches widely but discards conservation
Goes ahead but discards being behind
Then death!
If one fights with compassion, then victory
With defense, then security
Heaven shall save them
And with compassion guard them
peace to you
beccaxx
http://truetao.org/ttc/complete.htm
Photobucket, Rhia's photos
WIDGETIZE
Anonymous # 9. June 2008, 07:35
Just wanted to out myself as a fan of this lovely little sanctuary that is your blog, thanks for sharing your beautiful writings. And, congrats on the precious addition to your family. :)
http://wifemothermaniac.blogspot.com/
Munchkin97 # 14. June 2008, 08:26
peace to you
beccaxx
Anonymous # 17. June 2008, 17:04
Very cool. Thank you for sharing the story, tips, photos, and videos, Becca. =)
Aalar
Anonymous # 19. July 2008, 09:44
Thank you, becca, for sharing your story. It's somewhat funny, for I had forgotten that the most important part of loving is loving someone for who they are _now_, with all their flaws and hangups and quirks, instead of the person you want them to become or the person you see inside them. It's given me a lot of perspective concerning the situation I'm in right now. I think it will help me in my future endeavors.
Many thanks.
Munchkin97 # 26. August 2008, 00:16