Friday, January 30, 2009 9:28:00 PM
With the unemployment rates at an all time high and more layoffs and closings than ever, I want to assist you with a few helpful suggestions:
If you are among the people who are unemployed keep your basic routine the same. Get up brush your teeth, etc. eat your breakfast and then route your day, as you see necessary.
I would suggest, however, to take this time to look inside and find out what you want in life and do it. Now, you may not see this time as an opportunity, but many of you who have wondered about the career you never had that you have always secretly wanted - now is the time to pursue it. Get a grant, scholarship or financial aid from a college. Consider your life experience and have them amount to life credits towards your goal.
Family support is so crucial, so don't overlook the people closest to you while you are in transition. Give the love to your wife, children (go out and make a snowman) or get together with friends and allow them all to give back to you.
Get out among people and socialize. The person that you sit next to may start up a conversation with you may be a lead or be your next boss. Other social contacts may lead you through the next door towards the path you want to be on.
Most important get the right amount of sleep and eat healthy nutritious food to keep your body fit and your mind alert.
And don't forget to give yourself the kindness, compassion, love and forgiveness while you go through this challenging time.
Sunday, January 11, 2009 8:40:41 PM
There are many levels of love - love of a pet, a child, family and/or friends even social aquaintances. Each one is a doorway for experiencing different aspects of love.
This February reminds us that in our search for a mate who will be our lover & friend, or for the mate we already are with, we are wanting connection and closeness that goes far beyond the casual level into deeper territory, where we share or most treasured thoughts and personal desires, and if we are lucky we can find a place of trust, security and healing in our loving.
There are many soulmates, as we have incarnated over many lifetimes, and familiar people who we know from before may even be a 'newest' friend - however there is a higher love that exists and that is what I am about to share with you.
There is an inner knowing that goes beyond everyday logic, knowledge or understanding when you meet a Twin Flame mate. There is attraction and chemistry, but it is so much more. It is more intense and possibly overwhelming - more than any other union, and this intensity is at a soul level, more than the physical or even emotional.
The chance of meeting and staying with your Twin depends on how evolved your & his soul is, and how much of your baggage from this and past lives you have cleared. The biggest reason twins may meet and yet have to separate after coming together is their individual emotional baggage. Because in the presence of your twin, there can be nothing between you, nothing blocking your closeness. This means that everything comes up for healing that you haven't previously healed, because it is this Flame that has to burn away the karma in order for a greater purpose of being together.
I know because I have met my Twin Flame & separation occured due to unfinished business of the past. Even with seeing and meeting him again, not once but twice after our 'break-up' - through Divine Providence and even through this time apart I know we are still connected, still evolving until the time where the debris will be cleared and a path will be lit for us to once again be united is service to mankind.
This first began in 1998. I had heard his name inside me, coming to me through the Cosmic stream as an intuitive whisper, awakening this part in my consciousness to my heart. Occurances started happening that would confirm this. I would be in a grocery store and as I entered, a couple were talking about inviting 'D'. Then again in my local library the announcement, 'D' your order is ready', and this was the way it was during this period for 'D' to show up in my life. I waited patiently for 4 years until the time came that we were to meet. The very first contact was by a flyer up on the bulletin board of the church I attend from time to time. I saw his photo and my heart just opened up to him. I did not want to read the whole profile and place it in God's hands to have us meet if it was Destined. It did not take long. I met a woman at the Doylestown library and we became friends. Sheila told me of this man she thought would be perfect for me - and I at first refused her 'match-making' efforts. Then one morning I woke up to a tap on the shoulder from one of my Angels telling me it was time to meet this person and he was the one - needing a friend and would be more, during an emotional time for him. I at first balked then realized if They came through so clearly, that I must heed their advice and agreed, finding Sheila and asking her to arrange a meeting as a group outing, to not place any pressure on either of us. She did not tell me his name, not until I met him did I find out. It was amazing! There was so much feeling; I was amazed at the intensity, and the cosmic name dropping coincidences' stopped. It was him.
I won't go into the details of our time together, but just enough to say that there were problems that soon arose that told me he was not ready for a relationship of this kind. He wanted to pursue a certain direction that did not include me and abruptly halted. This was 6 years ago. The feelings continue unto this day with a warmth that washes over me and fills my heart from a higher connection that cannot be severed. I have hope that someday he will be able to find in his heart the truth and then know in his mind as well that the connection we have is beyond any traditional explanation which has a higher Divine purpose.
Love goes beyond time and beyond space - it is an undying force by which cannot be measured or truly fathomed to which the depths of it has no end. And as much as we would like to define it to better understand to give us a soothing balm for comfort, "There are more things between heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy" so it is with LOVE.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 10:34:08 PM
A crisp, cold wind blows in to the cities, suburbs and countryside and we know winter is here. We change from sandals, shorts and sleeveless shirts to insulated under wear, socks, long-sleeved shirts and sweaters, boots, bundling up under the scarves, hats and heavy coats.
The houses and apartments become warm, welcomed retreats as we turn on the heaters and throw logs into the fireplace for that cozy feeling - to snuggle under the covers or put fuzzy slippers on and sip hot cocoa to read a good book on the snowed-in days.
We find that sun-filled days and social interactions with others are now not as frquent and we may start to feel discontented. It is important during this season to maintain our health, physically and emotionally. We need eat strengthening, hardy food as well as make the effort to get outside on the warmer, sun-filled days to expose ourselves to the nurturing sunlight. Making time for friends and acquaintances for heart-filled connection is essential; listening to uplifting music or going to events that feed our minds, our heart & soul. Nourishing our whole being is what is important during these darker days of winter.
If you find yourself feeling alone, this is a good time to reconnect with yourself...journal, meditate or do yoga - even doing something around the house that you've been putting off - this is a good time to 'hang out' with yourself, and a time to remember that you are never truly alone, as there is a Divine Presence that is always with you, to hear your thoughts, prayers and comfort you when you are going through challenging times.
If you find that you are feeling disconnected, lost, or emotionally troubled, and none of what I have said so far is meeting your needs, then contact a friend or family member with whom you confide. If there is true urgency then there are agencies that will listen to you. They are 1 800 numbers or local organizations (some are available 24/7) where trained 'listeners' are there to be your sounding board so that you can regain perspective and get back on 'steady feet' again, calm and clear-headed.
Most of all love yourself. While this may be difficult at times, remember you are your own best friend - how would you give comfort to a friend going through the same problems or emotional stages? You'd support & nurture them! So give this gift to yourself. You will be able to go through this with more compassion and grace as you allow for all the feelings and emotions to rise and fall, ebb and flow to eventually dissapate, releasing any hold on you. You'll be the wiser and healthier for it, as emotions unexpressed, suppressed or unfinished trouble the mind and spirit, and can show up as physical symptoms in your body. So stay healthy and happy by loving all of you!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 8:32:20 PM
First, let us take a look at the average person’s diet. It usually contains high amounts of processed foods, refined grains, sugar and fats. It is often difficult to avoid parties and other events that have such temptations - and a little nibble or two is challenging to avoid. But you don't want them as part of your everyday diet because we are learning that our health will suffer. Ingesting foods that provide little nutritional benefit can cause serious nutritional deficiencies, over the long haul and have immediate results.
(coffee + sugar = poor muscle tone prior to an athletic event or exercise & also has the high/low drop in energy for inadequate performance or long endurance)
Starting with organic, whole foods may seem a little overwhelming at first, I know. By my own experience in attempting to convert my husband all-at-once was disastrous. He panicked when we came back home from a wellness consultation for his Agent Orange rash. I started throwing out all the canned goods and wanted to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. He was so use to the way in which he grew up that this threatened his safely created world of what he knew. (He also saw money going into the trash, instead of the health investment we were about to make).
A whole foods diet is lower in fats & consists of a wide variety of different colored vegetables, fruits and grains; raw seeds, nuts and nut butters such as tahini, almond & pumpkin seed butter. Whole beans for protein and fermented; tofu, tempeh, & natto - that can even be in the form of shoyu, miso & tamari.
Antioxidants include vitamin C, beta carotene, vitamin E, and many cancer fighting substances called phytochemicals are found in whole foods & higher in organic fruits, vegetables & grains and are to be considered when wanting to protect yourself against the environment and helps with the anti-aging process.
In re-evaluating ones eating habits, approaching one's diet is important. It has to have sense of balance. When you start to have the majority of your meals with whole, fresh foods, then cravings will be minimized so when you want a sweet or two you won't be damaging your bodys' physiology, and lessening the onslaught of 'stressor' foods in your system.
When stressor foods are consumed it starts depleting the body of essential nutrients. These stressor foods consists of refined sugars (promotes tooth decay, creates hyperactivity or adds to those already challanged with this behavior, decreases immune functioning, increases the risk of heart disease contributes to obesity & diabetes), sodas (carbonated drinks & colas are high in phosphates that robs the body of necessary calcium which contributes to osteoporosis), enriched or refined grains & flours, pastas (removes the germ and bran which contain 90 percent of the nutritional content and does not get easily digested & sticks to the stomach lining which does not allow for maximum absorbtion from other foods) and also processed/hydrogenated fats - margarine & deep fried foods (causing trans fatty acis to interfere with metabolic absorption and tend to gather at adipose tissue (body fat) sites. They are difficult to illiminate from the body and are a lower quality of an energy source.
This may be a completely new experience for you, too. Relax, and make the transition slowly (you don't have this make major changes overnight like I attempted) but most of all have fun with shopping & investigating these new foods. Think of this as a new adventure!
By making small changes to your family's diet the transition will not only be more acceptable, their bodies will also be in harmony and not go through a too fast toxic foods cleansing.
Remember this it is never too late to start. It will be an amazing health & healing journey. You will begin to notice how quickly the poor health habits of your family will begin to disappear when good nutrition is established esp. when they begin to notice that they have more energy, mental clarity, and overall body strength with whole foods!
A lecture and demo at Whole Foods in Jenkintown, PA
Thursday, October 30, 2008 8:07:34 PM
The first stage is the 'in love' process which is a wonderful 'honeymoon' period to the relationship. Senses are hightened and we feel alive. Watch "The Mirror Has Two Faces" for a eye opening insight to the facets of loving. It is a necessary part of the relationship dance if we are to evolve, uncovering the depth at the gift of what love can bring us - which is very rewarding. The next phase begins the acceptance of the others strengths and weaknesses (as well as our own) as the individual we fell in love with starts coming down from the pedestal we have placed them on. Reality sets in and we see the full encompassing truth of our partner. The lasting phase is beyond compassionate acceptance where your heart is full beyond measure at the wonderful fluidic movement that comes when the dance starts a rythmic intuitive connectedness that happens when you are in harmony with your mate and your souls are united in this love. That is the Gold at the End of the Rainbow!
How do we begin?
We all vacillate between being single and wanting a relationship, wanting freedom yet craving closeness & intimacy. Understanding that we want consistancy yet liking spontaneous moments helps with our complex and seemingly wavering minds between these two 'opposite' desires. Time together yet needing time to be with yourself and your thoughts also seem contradictory, but an essential part of being human. Independence must give way to a shared collaboration of each others heart and mind. Passion must engage BOTH people. We all want a roadmap to a successful encounter that will lead us towards more rewarding relationships.
Know that we all want to be loved accepted for who we are. Sometimes it isn’t easy doing that very thing for ourselves. Giving our self love requires patience, compassion and an ability to forgive ~ how do you give it to your best friend? Well guess what, your best friend is also you!
Love of self emerges from within and acceptance of others comes from an emotional level. Whether briefly or keeping & sustaining relationships, LOVE is at the core of every interaction with everyone you meet.
Giving love sometimes is equally difficult. Knowing when to give space or come close, speak or just listen is a dance, an art form that requires developing a skill; part of which is about paying attention, looking for subtle cues, then checking in with our partner to get confirming feedback.
Now, we may not be able to accomplish this at ALL times, because we have our own needs that sometimes conflict with our partner. Being sensitive to yours as well as theirs is just as important. Trusting that our needs will be met, (sometimes not immediately or in the way we think) is key to a healthy partnership, equally the communication. Listening is a skill and is the key that opens up the door to the larger part of understanding, which when gently applied, not forced, continues to strengthen the foundation of your home/your heart(s).
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Let us look at our gender roles. This will give us a better understanding of ourselves as individuals.
What is it to be a man? IS it about working 40-60-90 hours? Or being able to lift 250 lbs. Making all the decisions? Not showing emotions? What about being a woman? Is it about always nurturing at our own expense? Always keeping the house in order? (Are we always) being emotional?
Each one challenges the myth of who we are suppose to be. This is what our culture & society has supported as well as repressed; denying or rejecting and sending disapproving subtle messages, stopping us from allowing our being true to our human creation. (we need so much love in growing as infants to children into adults that we sculpt & chisel ourselves to get that acceptance and constant flow of approval/love). Sometimes that need is unmet; unfulfilled.
We have suppressed our nature by centuries of conditioning because our past & basic survival needs created the imbalance in both.
While we have come to learn and develop these qualities that have determined what our individual gender is to be like, it was out of circumstances that had us develop these characteristic and therefore exist today as a result of them. However, times are changing and we are realizing that we have within all the qualities that make us human. Neither gender has a role to play. The dishes are not woman’s work, the mowing of the lawn mans, or fixing the electrical outlets or washing clothes are not gender exclusive roles.
So why perpetuate this burden into the 21 century? WE have options, choices, and for BOTH of us to contribute to a happy, healthy relationship the requirements are mutually contributing to it, in what ever way that each of you willingly and voluntarily want to do.
So with that said without going any further, it is up to BOTH of us to guide & nurture, to be supportive and giving, to be open & receptive, within the flow of expression that comes about naturally from one another, without the demand of role playing. Then can you have the most satisfying and rewarding relationship, removing the expectation – and ASK for what you need instead, so your partner knows what you want from him/her.
Now just because you have asked, doesn't mean that your partner is going to be giving whatever it is to you just because you have approached them. They have a choice in the matter, as a fully functioning adult - and it is healthy to decline as long as it is not repetitive or constant (if this is the case then this is a power struggle and a 'punishment' mentality designed to not meet your needs). Otherwise this (no) can feel especially good within ourselves (both partners) if it comes from the heart when it comes from a loving place. If your need comes from a place of unresolved or unfinished childhood issues, recognize the request will come across and seen as an emotional demand that is being projected onto your partner and will your partner will feel 'put upon'. It's neither wrong or bad, but needs to be explored.
Realize that you do not have to resent them or you feel guilty, but use this as an opportunity for healing - open up a dialogue or look at it yourself to further examine the core of your request. Is it co-dependent in nature? Or, is it from a truly basic human place for one another. Embrace both, learn & grow from it all.
Although some of you believe Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars - I believe if you ascribe to this, that it reinforces old, outdated & archaic behaviors which polarizes the male/female dynamics ~ realize we are now united - as women like to come home and 'hide out in the cave' to regroup and reenergize from a long hard day at work, too. We want not only our feelings heard, validated, and acknowledged - we want the results that stem from the reason why we were upset or feeling them deeply in the first place - and to implement change.
Your relationship is an opportunity to explore! Find out what works and what needs to be discarded. We are not fixed in any one way, we have so much yet discover, why not ourselves (with each other)?
FAIRNESS in FIGHTING and LIVING TOGETHER
Disagreements happen from time to time. Arguments occur when you or your partner feel misunderstood, not listened to or unvalidated. You can create a healthy relationship by DISCUSSING your feelings without the drama and deepen your love. Here are some of the ways:
Ground Rules: Do not bring up the past or other situations into the discussion that you are presently engaged in. Avoid any 'below the belt' fighting. This ranges from insults thrown towards family members, subtle put-downs, or direct verbal assaults toward the one you LOVE.
Bring the other issues up at another time, and keep them separate from the current one that is on the table. This requires honesty and integrity, caring and respect - not unproductive criticism. So don't attack, or guilt them, nor yell.
Listen by not interrupting, giving each other the room to express genuine feelings, to get to the core of problem; to resolve the issue. Give them your undivided attention (active listening) that includes eye contact, too. Most importantly, do not leave abruptly to 'win' the argument or run away from the situation. If it becomes too intense, just say you need to take a minute, but stay with the moment - unless, of course, it results in toxic behavior. So set clear boundaries, give each other a time frame so that you can respond to what is being presented. If it becomes too intense, overwhelming, say so and take a a few minutes to regroup your thoughts and feelings and come back together. This is your partner, not your adversary, so don't do things that undermine them or the relationship, because ultimately you support each other.
What is All this Fighting for?
Fairly divide the 'chores' of the housework between EACH of you so that you are participating in the care of a shared living environment. If there is a power struggle, you will soon notice certain behaviors.
Actions and behaviors effect every relationship, some are cute and entertaining, add to the enjoyment of your lives together, but when it starts to undermine the wealth you are attempting to invest in your relationship, then it needs to be addressed.
Is it really about the lid off the toothpaste? Is it about forgetting the dry cleaning? No, it isn't, not really. What does it represent to you? What feelings are brought up for you? What is underneath their/your behavior? What are you suppressing? It's not just about the trash being put out either.
You could be overworked, tired, distracted, or it's years of a habitual pattern. If this is a huge issue for the both of you, then take a look at what is going on. Do you feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, unloved in some fashion? Why & how are you affected? These are signs and an opportunity for deepening the relationship by having your partner aware of what is going on with you by beginning a dialogue; opening up the lines of communication and sharing your most intimate self - your feelings - to eliminate resentment and build a closer more fulfilling relationship. It may not get him or her to put the cap back on, or resolve trash night completely, give it time, give him/her room to look at this action, habit, behavior and continue to work at building you house of love.
Being Genuinely Intimate
Give a simple touch on the shoulder or just a glance is one example of simple ways to access the heart and in achieving a connection. You could be reading in the next room and he might be doing the dishes, and you can feel you are 'together'.
Sharing your hopes, fears, and dreams and feelings are another way in which to achieve the intimacy we all crave. Participate in cooking, preparing the food together, or some other interaction that has to involve the both of you.
In achieving physical intimacy, you may be surprised at how we as human beings mistake some urges as a response for a physical need for sex. Perhaps we are just wanting closeness, and tender moments with the other. One way to explore the possibility of achieving such a distinction would be to give each other a foot massage.
Some of you may laugh at this or think and other think this will lead to more. But for this to work, the intention is designed to keep this strictly non-invasive and non-sexual, so that you can achieve deeper emotional connection. Tenderness and gentle touch with eye contact is essential, giving feedback about what feels good.
It can even be a massaging of your partners hand or include a shoulder, arm or leg massage - to start - then as the trust deepens and the safety of the environment increases, you can then expand - again with emphasis that this will be non-sexual; to build trust and create a safe environment to cultivate another level of intimacy.
If you can master this, then greater mastery over your love life & other areas can be greatly enhanced and more successful.
You could do something that is very special for that person, that shows a level of intimacy that only the two of you share a funny little 'thing' that he/she does that matters, or it could be as simple as putting the coffee on, opening up the curtains or windows to let air and sunlight in, because you know he loves the smell of brewing dark roasted coffee, the fresh morning air and the warmth and brightness of the day. Maybe she likes chocolate covered cherries, or macadamia nuts - so before she goes off to work, you place them in the car for her to see - it might seem small, but has a huge impact, as she/he carries those warm feelings about you throughout their day - all the while, looking forward to spending time with you later that night. Maybe its the reverse for you and yours, but find that special something that says I'm thinking of you and I love you, with just a little effort and action.
Another way to have a deeper connection with your partner is to do this simple exercise. Place your left hand on the center of their chest, and theirs yours. Then look into each others eyes as your relax your body and begin to simply breath, all the while keeping eye contact. This method connects your to your partner, through touch, sight, and also to the heart.
Ultimately, choosing a partner and being with your partner is not a substitute to fill a void or avoid an emptiness within yourself. Its okay to spend time alone with yourself, to go within to find and fulfill your creative spirit, to make a connection with your Creator; the key is balance. Time together and time apart is healthy. We are unique individuals who have our own gift to give and to contribute to society, and our individuality must be expressed in order to thrive, to grow. So don't panic when your partner needs time to spend it doing something he/she likes - as long as there is balance, communication and commitment in your relationship you will have a healthy, loving, and fulfilling love~life together.
Why Won't He Talk to Me?
Men are complicated creatures, yet very basic males. They feel deep, sometimes passionately, but they hold those feelings in like precious pieces of gold, only spending a few at a time, measuring their weight, seeing what their current value is. Waiting to spend them at the appropriate time, when to make the best investment with them. Risking the investment and pouring more into the 'stock' of relationship comes when it looks like there would be a greater loss without it and it keeps the value 'high' in the emotional/relationship market.
Men have been trained not to talk about feelings because it protects them from being 'attacked' - it's like showing an Achilles Heel without any armor. They hold their feelings in, keeping them from being revealed, not to be exposed for fear of being found out. It comes from 'the law of the jungle'.
Vulnerability creates fear for most of us, because we are sensitive and gentle creatures underneath all that bravado, all that loud talking, or peacocking[/B] -it's all a call for LOVE. But to reveal ourselves to another scares us, because there is always the possibility of being misunderstand or not well received, or maybe hurt. So we hold it in, hoping that we won't be discovered, waiting for those feeling to go unnoticed, resolved and dissipated. For men AND women to open that 'door' is like opening a Pandora's box, and in our fear we thing it might start a flood gate of feelings that have no retaining wall, and this scares men - within themselves and also in handling yours. The fact is is that men want to show them, actually willing, when they feel safe, secure, clear of criticism or fault finding.
So create that space. Know that if you allow and not force the issue, but gently approach them with what is bothering you; you will have him opening up. Think about it - how would you like your man to address you with an issue that is difficult, complex or painful? In this way, men and women are similar.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 7:37:11 PM
The day that you conceive, you become a parent - what to eat, drink and how you live - now is an important concern - if it wasn’t before it becomes top priority now!
Eating a well-balanced meal will not only give you the necessary nutrients, but will help feed the baby as well. Don’t forget to take pre-natal vitamins to give an added nutritional reserve to take extra resource from.
Exercise moderately, without overdoing during this time - to best assist your body for childbirth. Yoga is the most effective way in which to make ready for labor. Stretches & postures also add flexibility as well as strength to your physical, mental & emotional preparedness.
Choosing a place in which to give birth, enhances the birthing process even more. Whether a hospital or home, soft lighting & soothing music make for a nurturing environment (loving friends & family members) in which to bring a child into this world.
Unless by Cesarean, drugless is the best approach because the chemicals go through the umbilical cord to the baby in the womb, even during the birthing process - being absorbed into the bloodstream of not only the mother, but into the infant inside you. Breath into the contractions - going deep within your body to become one with the movement of the rhythm of your bodys’ expansion & contractions that move the baby through your canal. Don’t fight it, don’t force it - allow this natural movement of the Universe bring your baby down, through & out. If you have a skilled midwife, she will assist you in warm compresses that will help in expanding your opening without tearing.
Once the baby is born, allow your baby to lay on top of your chest, make contact skin to skin; even let the baby suckle if he/she so desires. Do not wipe off the vernix; gently rub it in to add protection to the outer layer of the skin of your newborn.
DO NOT cut the cord immediately. The optimum time is around 2 minutes. This will benefit your infant greatly. The umbilical is filled with 60% of fetal red blood cells and these stem cells can prevent blood disorders, increase iron and off course, ward of potential diseases in your newborn, long-term.
Smacking isn’t necessary to get your infant to breath, the natural process of gasping for air is innate & will occur; just watch closely and clean out any obstruction or remaining fluid from the mouth & throat of your baby. gently & thoroughly.
Keep your new son or daughter warm by clothing him or her in soft cotton fabric, as their body temperature was automatically regulated by you in your womb, now your newborn needs you to assist in this in the outside. Cover them in a blanket if necessary & a cap to keep the heat from escaping from the top of their head.
Keep the crib in your room, to give a sense of closeness & comfort - remember they just came out of an all enclosed, heat regulated comfy close quarters - you! In allowing them to gradually acclimate to this new world, this new climate - you need to bring them into this new environment with care & consideration - they aren’t suppose to be ‘toughened up'. That will, unfortunately, happen as they grow up.
During this stage, they need to be held, cuddled and taken care of - & picked up when they cry – don’t just let them ‘develop their lungs’, that is BS, they are uncomfortable, scared or hungry – it is a sign of distress, so go take care of them unless there is some physical problem where you aren’t able to do this, an injury or other physical challenges (for myself, I acquired an injury to my inner ear, caused by excessively loud noise with my son's pitch & volumous crying which vibrated at a certain tone)
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Your new parent “job” is to attend to their needs. Love them and hold them and give them more than just a peck on the cheek. Rock them gently touch them with parent to child contact. This helps them not only to grow physically, it also helps them develop their nervous system & emotions in a much needed & healthy way. This is your responsibility now.
To help develop their minds and stimulate their cerebral cortex - place black & white objects that are now able to be purchased in a mobile that can hang over the infants crib and will add visual coordination as well. Playing different sounds, mostly soothing stress-less music will also help develop their inner spirit and enhance auditory ability. Do not argue within the hearing range of the baby and wait, if you can, to calm down before coming within range of your child. Your baby is extremely sensitive to moods and emotions and will react, perhaps by crying even before you enter the room.
As they grow, you can begin to introduce age appropriate toys that have different sizes, colors and sounds - again to stimulate the development of your child.
Time out is the best approach when your child is around 2 or so. Create an area that is specifically zoned for such moments - Tantrums too should have their own spot and allow your child to go through the feelings without making this a punishment. Allow toys or other comforting objects so they know that they are okay & loved, but the behavior is one that you are giving the time out for.
Do not resort to physical punishment as spanking is now considered child abuse, even one smack – why? Would you as an adult want someone you love to hit you? Violence begets violence. Just think how betrayed they feel at Daddy having hit them or Mommy smacking them - we are suppose to love our children. What message do you think this sends to them? These old, fear-based & outdated methods causes psychological wounding and emotional hurts that do not make sense to a young child and confuses their tiny little minds - they are innocent and don't have a clue that what they are doing is 'wrong' most of the time. It is up to us to teach them modeling and being the healthiest example. While you may struggle in the heat of the moment as you replace old with new patterns of parenting, there may be times you falter and react. Forgive yourself, and make it up to your child in a healthy way - you will gain mastery and control over your actions.
You will want to keep them from violence on t.v. as they get older so why not start now and practice this at home. Not raising a hand may be difficult; many of us have been raised with having our bottoms warmed because we did not listen, directly challenged our parent's authority, or blatantly disrespected with physical consequences. I know this challenge is a difficult one, and I know that most parents can & do practice not hitting their children (most of the time)I also know being human and not always awake, we are not always aware or conscious of our motivating factors or our knee-jerk reactive responses & we fall from grace on occasion.
Just keep aware of your own emotions & watch their behavior – the best we can do is allow them to grow and give them consequences for their actions & be responsible for your own – such as balancing their behavior both positively with approval & with negative rewards like time in their room to think about their actions, no television, no phone, no visits, no game, in fair & equal proportions – not extreme punishment & be human with them - admit when you are wrong - it never hurts to say your sorry.
Take the time to “Be” with your children; listen to them, play with them, talk with them – not a lecture or an advice/counseling session – be real to them allow them to access you. Make time for them. Really see them for who they are and not what we have envisioned them to be or what we have superimposed as an unattainable standard of being. Help them strive for excellence, but do not push; guide but do not force. We have our own expectations of the ‘bar’ for ourselves – be realistic when it comes to our children’s.
Hug Therapy
(Kathleen Keating)
"We need 4 hugs a day
for survival.
We need 8 hugs a day
for maintenance.
We need 12 hugs a day
for growth"
—Virginia Satir, family therapist
Thursday, October 30, 2008 6:21:16 PM
Hello and welcome. We all seek to find wholeness, find peace, find love and find happiness. Find what you seek within you as the gift you truly you are. Remember, you are unique ~ were born to be the example of beauty and creativity ~ find that which moves you to dance, sing, write, draw, paint photograph, grow and express it!
I like to gather my energy, my thoughts and realign myself by walking in nature. Here are a few special moments that I want to share with you.
I have been staying over at a friends house these past few days taking in the quiet surroundings of the woods. This afternoon I was going to the second part of the house where the computer is with breakfast in hand. As I came through the door into the patio that connected the two partitions, I saw inside an iridescent green hummingbird that had flown in resting on the floor.
She allowed me to scoop her up into my hands. I spoke softly to her and she blinked her eyes with gentleness and vulnerability, trusting that I would not harm her. I held her for some time, giving her Reiki as her energy began to merge with mine. She began flapping her wings and peeped a little, frightened by the suddenness of my moving about as I traveled outside, so I place my other hand over her so that she would not hurt herself while I made my way to the outdoor patio. I rested on a bench and slowly uncovered my hand that cupped her. We sat on the bench for some time, near a pot of flowers and a butterfly came over and joined us, fluttering around and near my hands where the bird rested with the sun shining on both of us. I so wanted to a take a picture of this miraculous moment. As I began to rise off the bench, to bring her to a flower for nectar, she stirred and flew over to it herself. She stayed around a little longer resting on a wire fence as I spoke softly to her and then, as I approached her, she flew to the garden behind. It was a rare and beautiful experience, one that has touched me forever!
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Another Hummingbird has found her way into my new 'home'. I now live in a house nestled in a wooded area near Nockamixon lake. One this particular afternoon, I heard this whirring sound and when I came out of my bedroom, I saw a green breasted hummingbird attempting to fly out the upper window of my livingroom. She was getting tired and I went to get a long handled garden tool to redirect her. She lit upon the stone fireplace in the loft and I went up onto the ledge to get her. She made a chirping sound and I gently lifted her feet that had gripped onto the stone and cupped her in my hand as we made our way down the stairs. She sat quietly and looked up at me as we started our descent and when I was outside the house, I opened my hand to set her free. People have told me this is unusual for a Hummingbird to gift your life twice.
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While visiting Center City in the back of Philadelphia’s Art Museum, a Bumble bee came to me and stayed buzzing around me for a significant amount of time while I talked to him. He would not leave me, even though I walked away. I finally had to tell him that I was leaving and only then did he take off. I had to actually leave where I was standing. My my friend Michelle, who was with me saw this amazing and unusual occurance.
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One day I was at a local park (Stover) and noticed a fish swimming toward the bank where I was headed. He came over to me. I noticed that he was bleeding, from where I couldn't see. So I placed my hand on either side and Reiki'd him. I then guided him back into the water's stream and let him go. He swam a little down stream as I started to walk farther down, but oddly he came back to me, right to where I was now standing. So I attempted to hold & Reiki him once more and then send him on his way. Yet, again he came back. So I just squatted down with him, talked to him and, eventually he left on his own accord.
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My Opera
