My OperaBecoming a Parent & the responsibility of Parenting
Thursday, October 30, 2008 7:37:11 PM
The day that you conceive, you become a parent - what to eat, drink and how you live - now is an important concern - if it wasn’t before it becomes top priority now!
Eating a well-balanced meal will not only give you the necessary nutrients, but will help feed the baby as well. Don’t forget to take pre-natal vitamins to give an added nutritional reserve to take extra resource from.
Exercise moderately, without overdoing during this time - to best assist your body for childbirth. Yoga is the most effective way in which to make ready for labor. Stretches & postures also add flexibility as well as strength to your physical, mental & emotional preparedness.
Choosing a place in which to give birth, enhances the birthing process even more. Whether a hospital or home, soft lighting & soothing music make for a nurturing environment (loving friends & family members) in which to bring a child into this world.
Unless by Cesarean, drugless is the best approach because the chemicals go through the umbilical cord to the baby in the womb, even during the birthing process - being absorbed into the bloodstream of not only the mother, but into the infant inside you. Breath into the contractions - going deep within your body to become one with the movement of the rhythm of your bodys’ expansion & contractions that move the baby through your canal. Don’t fight it, don’t force it - allow this natural movement of the Universe bring your baby down, through & out. If you have a skilled midwife, she will assist you in warm compresses that will help in expanding your opening without tearing.
Once the baby is born, allow your baby to lay on top of your chest, make contact skin to skin; even let the baby suckle if he/she so desires. Do not wipe off the vernix; gently rub it in to add protection to the outer layer of the skin of your newborn.
DO NOT cut the cord immediately. The optimum time is around 2 minutes. This will benefit your infant greatly. The umbilical is filled with 60% of fetal red blood cells and these stem cells can prevent blood disorders, increase iron and off course, ward of potential diseases in your newborn, long-term.
Smacking isn’t necessary to get your infant to breath, the natural process of gasping for air is innate & will occur; just watch closely and clean out any obstruction or remaining fluid from the mouth & throat of your baby. gently & thoroughly.
Keep your new son or daughter warm by clothing him or her in soft cotton fabric, as their body temperature was automatically regulated by you in your womb, now your newborn needs you to assist in this in the outside. Cover them in a blanket if necessary & a cap to keep the heat from escaping from the top of their head.
Keep the crib in your room, to give a sense of closeness & comfort - remember they just came out of an all enclosed, heat regulated comfy close quarters - you! In allowing them to gradually acclimate to this new world, this new climate - you need to bring them into this new environment with care & consideration - they aren’t suppose to be ‘toughened up'. That will, unfortunately, happen as they grow up.
During this stage, they need to be held, cuddled and taken care of - & picked up when they cry – don’t just let them ‘develop their lungs’, that is BS, they are uncomfortable, scared or hungry – it is a sign of distress, so go take care of them unless there is some physical problem where you aren’t able to do this, an injury or other physical challenges (for myself, I acquired an injury to my inner ear, caused by excessively loud noise with my son's pitch & volumous crying which vibrated at a certain tone)
~~~~~~~~~~
Your new parent “job” is to attend to their needs. Love them and hold them and give them more than just a peck on the cheek. Rock them gently touch them with parent to child contact. This helps them not only to grow physically, it also helps them develop their nervous system & emotions in a much needed & healthy way. This is your responsibility now.
To help develop their minds and stimulate their cerebral cortex - place black & white objects that are now able to be purchased in a mobile that can hang over the infants crib and will add visual coordination as well. Playing different sounds, mostly soothing stress-less music will also help develop their inner spirit and enhance auditory ability. Do not argue within the hearing range of the baby and wait, if you can, to calm down before coming within range of your child. Your baby is extremely sensitive to moods and emotions and will react, perhaps by crying even before you enter the room.
As they grow, you can begin to introduce age appropriate toys that have different sizes, colors and sounds - again to stimulate the development of your child.
Time out is the best approach when your child is around 2 or so. Create an area that is specifically zoned for such moments - Tantrums too should have their own spot and allow your child to go through the feelings without making this a punishment. Allow toys or other comforting objects so they know that they are okay & loved, but the behavior is one that you are giving the time out for.
Do not resort to physical punishment as spanking is now considered child abuse, even one smack – why? Would you as an adult want someone you love to hit you? Violence begets violence. Just think how betrayed they feel at Daddy having hit them or Mommy smacking them - we are suppose to love our children. What message do you think this sends to them? These old, fear-based & outdated methods causes psychological wounding and emotional hurts that do not make sense to a young child and confuses their tiny little minds - they are innocent and don't have a clue that what they are doing is 'wrong' most of the time. It is up to us to teach them modeling and being the healthiest example. While you may struggle in the heat of the moment as you replace old with new patterns of parenting, there may be times you falter and react. Forgive yourself, and make it up to your child in a healthy way - you will gain mastery and control over your actions.
You will want to keep them from violence on t.v. as they get older so why not start now and practice this at home. Not raising a hand may be difficult; many of us have been raised with having our bottoms warmed because we did not listen, directly challenged our parent's authority, or blatantly disrespected with physical consequences. I know this challenge is a difficult one, and I know that most parents can & do practice not hitting their children (most of the time)I also know being human and not always awake, we are not always aware or conscious of our motivating factors or our knee-jerk reactive responses & we fall from grace on occasion.
Just keep aware of your own emotions & watch their behavior – the best we can do is allow them to grow and give them consequences for their actions & be responsible for your own – such as balancing their behavior both positively with approval & with negative rewards like time in their room to think about their actions, no television, no phone, no visits, no game, in fair & equal proportions – not extreme punishment & be human with them - admit when you are wrong - it never hurts to say your sorry.
Take the time to “Be” with your children; listen to them, play with them, talk with them – not a lecture or an advice/counseling session – be real to them allow them to access you. Make time for them. Really see them for who they are and not what we have envisioned them to be or what we have superimposed as an unattainable standard of being. Help them strive for excellence, but do not push; guide but do not force. We have our own expectations of the ‘bar’ for ourselves – be realistic when it comes to our children’s.
Hug Therapy
(Kathleen Keating)
"We need 4 hugs a day
for survival.
We need 8 hugs a day
for maintenance.
We need 12 hugs a day
for growth"
—Virginia Satir, family therapist
Eating a well-balanced meal will not only give you the necessary nutrients, but will help feed the baby as well. Don’t forget to take pre-natal vitamins to give an added nutritional reserve to take extra resource from.
Exercise moderately, without overdoing during this time - to best assist your body for childbirth. Yoga is the most effective way in which to make ready for labor. Stretches & postures also add flexibility as well as strength to your physical, mental & emotional preparedness.
Choosing a place in which to give birth, enhances the birthing process even more. Whether a hospital or home, soft lighting & soothing music make for a nurturing environment (loving friends & family members) in which to bring a child into this world.
Unless by Cesarean, drugless is the best approach because the chemicals go through the umbilical cord to the baby in the womb, even during the birthing process - being absorbed into the bloodstream of not only the mother, but into the infant inside you. Breath into the contractions - going deep within your body to become one with the movement of the rhythm of your bodys’ expansion & contractions that move the baby through your canal. Don’t fight it, don’t force it - allow this natural movement of the Universe bring your baby down, through & out. If you have a skilled midwife, she will assist you in warm compresses that will help in expanding your opening without tearing.
Once the baby is born, allow your baby to lay on top of your chest, make contact skin to skin; even let the baby suckle if he/she so desires. Do not wipe off the vernix; gently rub it in to add protection to the outer layer of the skin of your newborn.
DO NOT cut the cord immediately. The optimum time is around 2 minutes. This will benefit your infant greatly. The umbilical is filled with 60% of fetal red blood cells and these stem cells can prevent blood disorders, increase iron and off course, ward of potential diseases in your newborn, long-term.
Smacking isn’t necessary to get your infant to breath, the natural process of gasping for air is innate & will occur; just watch closely and clean out any obstruction or remaining fluid from the mouth & throat of your baby. gently & thoroughly.
Keep your new son or daughter warm by clothing him or her in soft cotton fabric, as their body temperature was automatically regulated by you in your womb, now your newborn needs you to assist in this in the outside. Cover them in a blanket if necessary & a cap to keep the heat from escaping from the top of their head.
Keep the crib in your room, to give a sense of closeness & comfort - remember they just came out of an all enclosed, heat regulated comfy close quarters - you! In allowing them to gradually acclimate to this new world, this new climate - you need to bring them into this new environment with care & consideration - they aren’t suppose to be ‘toughened up'. That will, unfortunately, happen as they grow up.
During this stage, they need to be held, cuddled and taken care of - & picked up when they cry – don’t just let them ‘develop their lungs’, that is BS, they are uncomfortable, scared or hungry – it is a sign of distress, so go take care of them unless there is some physical problem where you aren’t able to do this, an injury or other physical challenges (for myself, I acquired an injury to my inner ear, caused by excessively loud noise with my son's pitch & volumous crying which vibrated at a certain tone)
~~~~~~~~~~
Your new parent “job” is to attend to their needs. Love them and hold them and give them more than just a peck on the cheek. Rock them gently touch them with parent to child contact. This helps them not only to grow physically, it also helps them develop their nervous system & emotions in a much needed & healthy way. This is your responsibility now.
To help develop their minds and stimulate their cerebral cortex - place black & white objects that are now able to be purchased in a mobile that can hang over the infants crib and will add visual coordination as well. Playing different sounds, mostly soothing stress-less music will also help develop their inner spirit and enhance auditory ability. Do not argue within the hearing range of the baby and wait, if you can, to calm down before coming within range of your child. Your baby is extremely sensitive to moods and emotions and will react, perhaps by crying even before you enter the room.
As they grow, you can begin to introduce age appropriate toys that have different sizes, colors and sounds - again to stimulate the development of your child.
Time out is the best approach when your child is around 2 or so. Create an area that is specifically zoned for such moments - Tantrums too should have their own spot and allow your child to go through the feelings without making this a punishment. Allow toys or other comforting objects so they know that they are okay & loved, but the behavior is one that you are giving the time out for.
Do not resort to physical punishment as spanking is now considered child abuse, even one smack – why? Would you as an adult want someone you love to hit you? Violence begets violence. Just think how betrayed they feel at Daddy having hit them or Mommy smacking them - we are suppose to love our children. What message do you think this sends to them? These old, fear-based & outdated methods causes psychological wounding and emotional hurts that do not make sense to a young child and confuses their tiny little minds - they are innocent and don't have a clue that what they are doing is 'wrong' most of the time. It is up to us to teach them modeling and being the healthiest example. While you may struggle in the heat of the moment as you replace old with new patterns of parenting, there may be times you falter and react. Forgive yourself, and make it up to your child in a healthy way - you will gain mastery and control over your actions.
You will want to keep them from violence on t.v. as they get older so why not start now and practice this at home. Not raising a hand may be difficult; many of us have been raised with having our bottoms warmed because we did not listen, directly challenged our parent's authority, or blatantly disrespected with physical consequences. I know this challenge is a difficult one, and I know that most parents can & do practice not hitting their children (most of the time)I also know being human and not always awake, we are not always aware or conscious of our motivating factors or our knee-jerk reactive responses & we fall from grace on occasion.
Just keep aware of your own emotions & watch their behavior – the best we can do is allow them to grow and give them consequences for their actions & be responsible for your own – such as balancing their behavior both positively with approval & with negative rewards like time in their room to think about their actions, no television, no phone, no visits, no game, in fair & equal proportions – not extreme punishment & be human with them - admit when you are wrong - it never hurts to say your sorry.
Take the time to “Be” with your children; listen to them, play with them, talk with them – not a lecture or an advice/counseling session – be real to them allow them to access you. Make time for them. Really see them for who they are and not what we have envisioned them to be or what we have superimposed as an unattainable standard of being. Help them strive for excellence, but do not push; guide but do not force. We have our own expectations of the ‘bar’ for ourselves – be realistic when it comes to our children’s.
Hug Therapy
(Kathleen Keating)
"We need 4 hugs a day
for survival.
We need 8 hugs a day
for maintenance.
We need 12 hugs a day
for growth"
—Virginia Satir, family therapist
