Sunny had a band concert tonight. For those of you who don't already know, she's a Flautist. She had divulged to me last night that she was pretty nervous. She's like me - we don't like to be on stage in front of tons of people. Actually, three would be too many.
Anyway, because I knew how nervous she was, I decided to surprise her with a special message. Once I knew she was fully asleep last night, I took an Expo marker and wrote on the full-length mirror on the back of her bedroom door. The following is the message I left for her:
My Dearest Punky,
I love you more today than I did the day you were born. I will love you even more tomorrow! You're beautiful and I'm SO proud of you!
I Love You So Much, Mom❤
Well, I asked her, "Did you see my note this morning?" She replied, "Yes, and at first I thought it was a murder note. It freaked me out!" I laughed my ass off and apologized. She said, "It's okay. Thank you, Mom. I love you so much!" and gave me a giant hug.
The band concert went really well, and she did amazingly. I could simply not be more proud of her. Here's a picture I took of her directly after the concert came to an end:
"Forty Six & 2" is one of Tool's most interesting songs, and really sums up the entire theme of the album "Ænima". The song is about growing, changing, and moving toward the next level of human evolution and consciousness. It's deeply rooted in Jungian Theory. Basically, it's believed that there are three levels of human evolution and each has its own form of consciousness.
There's the first level which contains 44 chromosomes. These are essentially primitive people like the Aborigines in Australia who do not perceive anything outside of themselves. They only see one large consciousness with no distinguishment between organisms. (Sorta like the Borg...a collective.)
Then there's the second level which contains 46 chromosomes. That is us. We are a chaotic, disharmonious consciousness that is essentially used as a stepping stone between the first and third levels.
The third level contains 48 chromosomes. (Or 46 & 2, with 2 being the sex chromosomes X & Y). This is the higher level of consciousness - our destination.
This is where the Jungian Theory comes in. It is believed that one cannot reach this third level of evolution without first delving into oneself and basically cleansing one's consciousness in preparation for the next step. This is where the Shadow comes in. The Shadow is basically everything about life that is unseen, we are uncomfortable with, or things we may even hate. This is also known as the Anima. (Hence the name of the CD, Ænima.)
The last portion of the song sums all of this up quite well...
"See my shadow changing, Stretching up and over me Soften this old armor Hoping I can clear the way By stepping through my shadow, Coming out the other side Step into the shadow Forty six and two are just ahead of me"
In case you're interested in lyrics for the entire song, click-bo-bicky!
Mine eyes have seen the everlasting glory of His glans It makes mincemeat out of anyone with contraceptive plans His pubes are long as light years: they go past Aldebaran! He's got a big hard-on!
Morning glory masturbation! Morning glory 'jaculation! Morning glory impregnation! He's got a big hard-on!
I have seen Him in the wonders of His hardness and His worth He is shafting all the ages and He impregnates the earth His Holy Protein spreads your legs and fills you with His girth! He's got a big hard-on!
Morning glory masturbation! Morning glory 'jaculation! Morning glory impregnation! He's got a big hard-on!
I have touched His glorious member; it is bigger than it seems Those who underestimate Him will by it be greatly reamed You've got to duck for cover when He shoots His great Men's Beam! He's got a big hard-on! Morning glory masturbation! Morning glory 'jaculation! Morning glory impregnation! He's got a big hard-on!
Come and worship Him with me because you absolutely must Feel the glory and the wonder of His omnipotent thrust Be filled with His great seed; succumb to overwhelming lust! He's got a big hard-on!
Morning glory masturbation! Morning glory 'jaculation! Morning glory impregnation! He's got a big hard-on!
Don't you dare blaspheme His name or else you'll have to deal with me You will wander in the dark and cold for all eternity Pull up a chair and praise Him; here, play Ai Cho Aniki! He's got a big hard on!
Morning glory masturbation! Morning glory 'jaculation! Morning glory impregnation! He's got a big hard-on!
Join the army of the few, the proud, the absolutely screwed We will weather every storm and stop for no vicissitude. So come and strip until you're bare and absolutely nude! He's got a big hard on!
Morning glory masturbation! Morning glory 'jaculation! Morning glory impregnation! He's got a big hard-on!
Slayer is a band from California. Their music has come to epitomize Speed Metal music in the latter half of the 20th century. Their 1986 album, "Reign in Blood" is one of the single most influential metal albums of all time, typified by the modern classic "Angel of Death".
How to Celebrate
Listen to Slayer at full blast in your car. Listen to Slayer at full blast in your home. Listen to Slayer at full blast at your place of employment. Listen to Slayer at full blast in any public place you prefer.
DO NOT use headphones! The objective of this day is for everyone within earshot to understand that it is the National Day of Slayer. National holidays in America aren't just about celebrating; they're about forcing it upon non-participants!
Taking Participation to a Problematic Level
Stage a "Slay-out." Don't go to work. Listen to Slayer. Have a huge block party that clogs up a street in your neighborhood. Blast Slayer albums all evening. Get police cruisers and helicopters on the scene. Finish with a full-scale riot. Spray paint Slayer logos on churches, synagogues, or cemeteries. Play Slayer covers with your own band (since 99% of your riffs are stolen from Slayer anyway). Kill the neighbor's dog and blame it on Slayer.
POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers, and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes, and many more weird instruments - the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings, and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night within a castle full of Hell hounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed, and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse, and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him. Then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
Ahoy! So, you think that you've pirated everything, right? Aye, me parrot begs to differ.
Step 1 Using some wooden strips, make a box around a glass plate. Seal off the edges using window cement. Make sure everything is air tight.
Step 2 Place a vinyl album inside the box - making sure that the portion to be copied is facing upward. Squeeze in some window cement to mark where the hole in the record is.
Step 3 Mix the silicone (Smooth On OOMOO 30 or OOMOO 25) for about 3 minutes before pouring in to the mold.
Step 4 Pour in the mixture. Start from one corner and let it fill the mold to about half a centimeter. Make sure it’s even. Let it dry for 6 hours.
Step 5 Peel off the silicone from the cast. Cut off the excess using a cutter.
Step 6 Pour the liquid plastic (the Smooth On junk) on top of the silicone cast.
Step 7 Make sure that nothing spills over the round form. You can also brush off any air bubbles that might happen.
Step 8 Carefully loosen the plate from the silicone form. Using a drill press, bore a hole through the center of the plate. You can use the silicone form as a template to make more copies.
...And there you have it! Your very own pirated record album! w00t!
Okay, I know that I've stated repeatedly how I have not, do not, and will not dance. I still stick by this, but I must say that this song has had me boogying in my chair for like three days now.
I was emailing with my big brother, John, the other day. I asked him for some music recommendations - I told him that it had to be something with a quick beat, but minimal lyrics so I could get work done while listening to it.
I kinda sat there and thought, "Whooooo?" ...so I Gizoogled them. While I was reading about 'em, my brother sent me an email. This time it had an MP3 attached - the song "Battleflag".
The moment I heard the music, I was like, "OH!!!" I recognized the song right away. I'd heard it on the radio a while back, but it'd been quite a while. I never knew who did it, but knew that I loved to rock out to it. Volume is my friend.
John writes back again. This time he tells me that it's a cover tune. I LOVE COVER TUNES! The moment I read that, I headed back to Gizoogle...I found out that the original was done in 1997 by the band Pigeonhead. Personally, I like the remake way more than the original.
My Opera
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