As you guys probably know by now, I'm feeling pretty ill. I'll be okay - I've just had this massive migraine going on which is causing some major light sensitivity and nausea. I'm okay with the nausea because the more I feel like I want to vomit, the less I'll want to eat...the less I eat, the less fat I have...etc. You get the drift. Anyway, I'm okay - just nursing this headache like a mo-fo. I HATE debilitating headaches. Who doesn't though?

Anyway, I wanted to hop on here long enough to let you know that I'm okay...and also to announce that today is a very special day to me. Six years ago today, I met the love of my life, Lonnie. We've had some incredibly rough times and some amazingly good times. Through the good and the bad, one thing has always remained: Our love for each other. I realize that it sounds cliché to hear someone say that they fall in love more and more each day, but it is true in my case.

Lonnie has literally saved my life on three separate occasions. I attempted suicide three times - once by OD'ing on pills and twice by slitting my wrists. Each time he found me and rushed me to the hospital. I obviously survived, but owe him my life. The first time I slit my wrists, I almost didn't make it. He found me laying on the bathroom floor in a pool of my own blood. *sigh* I am so, so sorry for putting him through such a horrific thing. What was I thinking?!

Without Lonnie, my children would be without a mother or a father. I look back on those times when I was so down that I wanted to die and I am completely ashamed and disgusted with myself for putting my loved ones through such worry and concern. Never again will I be that self-centered. Thank goodness for hind sight! I try not to be too hard on myself for it, though.

So, not only is Lonnie a hero to my family and me, but he's also the only person I have ever truly loved on this level. I've been in love before, but it was nothing like this. When he leaves, I immediately miss him. When he's here, I am so grateful for what I've got. I never take him or what he does for me for granted. Anybody who is lucky enough to get to know Lonnie comes away a better person just for knowing him. He's so caring, sensitive, and loving...never in my life have I known someone as loyal and patient as he is. I've said and done some very messed up things in our six years, and he has never given me anything but unconditional love. Nobody has ever made me feel as truly loved and secure as he has.

...I could go on and on, but I will spare you. I'm just such a lucky person to have found my true love. I wish for everyone to be able to find the same type of love in their life.

Thank you to everyone who has expressed their concern for me over the past couple of days. I feel really badly that I'm not on here like I'd normally be. I feel almost like I'm letting you guys down. I know that's not how you look at it, but I can't help it. That's just how I am. I am ALWAYS afraid to hurt those I care about...and I truly care for each and every single one of you - my Opera friends. I promise to nurse myself as much as I can so I can get back on here and spam the Hell out of you like usual!

Thanks for reading through all of this mushiness. I know it's not exactly something a lot of people want to hear - especially you testosterone filled guys. I guess it's a chick thing...but I just HAD to let the world know that today is one of the most important days of my life and why.

Back to bed I go...love you guys!

This is just a quickie to let ya' know that I'm still alive...sorta. We had way too much fun yesterday, so I'm taking today off as a recovery day. I definitely need it. I'm really sore & even have sunburn in some spots. I thought that once a person was fairly tan, they'd no longer get sunburn, but just get more tan instead. I was obviously mistaken! It's okay, though...small price to pay for having so much fun.

I'm going to go back to being a lazy bum. Catch ya' later...