There comes a time and a place the earth hits the sky. The sun collides with the moon. The result is an eclipse where you mustn't stare directly into the blaring light lest you shall become blinded by that which is MADE. OF. AWESOME.
This time... this place... it is where HYPE meets JUDGEMENT.
We've all heard about the Wii and it's gimmicky motion detection, cursor-pointin', gesture flappin', accelerometermagicky thingie-mabobs. But how many of us got to touch one; nay... PLAY with one? Nothing but my over-active imagination, speculations, and hours wasted watching YouSkooby footage has prepared me for the Wii... UNTIL NOW! [/orchestral drama] A few hours have passed since I arrived home from the Nintendo Fusion Tour in Houston, and I feel it's my duty to report my findings.
I bought the tickets on impulse and at the very last minute. I didn't want to go unless I had someone to go with... and my boss actually volunteered to show up. I expected tickets to something like this to be a lot more expensive, but they were only like 28 bucks [including most of the fees TicketMaster throws at you when you're desperate]. Parking was crazy cheap. I spent 5 minutes debating with myself to bring my DS or not. Deciding I had better not risk it getting stolen, I let it sleep in my car. I tucked it in with candy wrappers and old newspaper and kissed the DS good night. My boss and I then hurried our little tooshies as the security man-handled us. The area was maybe thirty times smaller than what I expected it to be, but that just made it easier to find the Wii.
Let's start out with the Pro
's and Con
's.Had to go to Downtown Houston
, but I got to play the Wii
. Due to limited space, they could only put out 4 Wiis
, but each line started by a bar of some sort.
.However, a hamburger costs 8 bucks
... but it tasted damn good
. There was a complete lack of NUNCHUK
...well. There's no damn PRO
to that. None of the games featured the Nunchuk. No Red Steel. No Metroid Prime. No Wii Boxing. 'Lack of setup space' my ass, there was a huge stage in the other room. Why couldn't they use that to set up more Wiis. Oh right, there were bands playing. I think
Not letting the absence of 50% of the Wii experience ruin my evening, I decided to make the most out of it. The games featured were Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
, Excite Truck
, Wii-Play's Shooting Gallery
, and Wii Sports Tennis.
First Impressions: Wow, the Wii is small. The Sensor Bar is TINY
. The Wii-mote is MINUSCULE!
But the biggest first impression is how GREAT the games LOOK. Yes, graphically. Either they are using REALLY good TVss, or Nintendo is downplaying the Wii's power. The way the gaming press has been dogging on the graphics and the 480p had me expecting Gamecube 1.5 graphics. But it all looked slick
. I got to watch gameplay videos of Mario Galaxy and Red Steel on a TV above the main Nintendo Kiosk for the first time without the YouTube grainyness. Nintendo has nothing to worry about in the graphics department. Mario Galaxy looks astounding.
I step in line, and this is when I realize I should have brought my DS. Long Lines + DS = Multiplayer everywhere.
Anyhoo, the first time I held the Wii-mote in my hands, I almost yelped a fangirlish "INGENIOUS", but the huge grin on my face prevented me from saying anything. It may be small, but the Wii-mote is designed for everyone, no matter how big or small, who has an index finger and a thumb. It fits like a glove, no, better than a glove. Gloves want to fit like a Wii-mote. The placement of the A button and the B trigger are so natural, I had to question whether or not I was actually holding a controller
. It felt really light because, well, there were no batteries in it. I wish the rumble motor was a little bit stronger... though Wario Ware made damn good use of it.Wii Sports Tennis
: MK vs. his boss. To be honest, Wii Tennis was probably the most disappointing game I played. Keep in mind, by disappointing I mean if awesome = pink
, then Wii Tennis = light red
. The controls are perfect. It controls just like everyone tells you it does. Your Mii swings like you swing, and the Mii moves automagically for you. The Mii's movement is what made me realize that in the end, this is just a tech demo that I'll only bust out for multiplayer or old people. In Virtua Tennis, the game was all about reading your opponent and playing mind games with the position of the tennis ball. In Wii Tennis, you have no control over your Mii, and they run damn slow. My boss would end up hitting it to the opposite side of where my Mii was, who then, after scratching his ass, would finally decide whether or not to go after the ball. Wii Boxing, please. Keep in mind [yes, another thing to keep in your mind], I'm probably just sour because I lost. There was this little kid who kept on using his dad to cut in line or have double-turns. Little bastard. I wanted to kick him so hard that his mother's ovaries would shake.Excite Truck
: is by far my favorite of the bunch. I imagined the game would have you holding the controller sideways, like a steering wheel. I had a better time controlling it with the face buttons aiming towards the ceiling and tilting the left and right sides up and down... Er, anyway. The 1 button brakes [haha. useless], 2 accelerates, tilting steers, and any direction on the D-pad activates your boost. The controls were tight and sensitive... but what really makes you feel like you're a part of the game is the mid-air controls. By tilting your controller in any direction, you alter the car's position in mid-air: The main reason the word Excite is in the title. You want to try to get four wheels to hit the ground at once, for extra boostage. Another unexpected twist are the "!" icons in the road. Hit one, and the level CHANGES. A ramp will GROW from the ground, allowing you to gain serious altitude. I was SOARING. Burnout + Excite Bike = Excite Truck. I'm so buying this.Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
: is stupid fun. It's a blast. There had better be multiplayer. But, if you've beaten any of the Wario Ware games, you know what you're in for. The new control schemes are really fun, but after a while it's just more of the same Wario Ware [which is good or bad, depending on your Wario-lust]. Wii-Play's Shooting Gallery
: was the last demo I got to sneak in. I was hoping my lightgun skills from House of the Dead 2 would come into use. Wrong. This is unlike anything I've ever played. My boss was complaining that the controls were too sensitive, but I noticed the further to stood back from the TV, the more accurate it was. The cursor was DEAD accurate. What I didn't understand was that the Wii-Play demo wasn't multiplayer. Boo. When the hell is Wii-Play coming to the States? Is it downloadable through the VC? DS Related Swag
: I got to play two full songs from Elite Beat Agents. Considering I have recently beat insane mode in Ouendan, the Japanese counterpart to EBA, the beginning difficulty had me snoozing. A Nintendo rep gave me sweet retractable head-phones for playing it. I'm still going to get this game in spite of the awful soundtrack. C'mon Nintendo, first Donkey Konga 2, now this? Hopefully, the songs that had to be redone will sound better than the original artists [cough Ashlee Simpson cough Avril cough]. Also, Yoshi's Island 2. Everyone needs to preorder this damn game. Or I'll bite your face off. CONCLUSION:
It's safe to say that the Wii exceeded my expectations and that I will be preordering one Friday morning from Game Crazy. It's very mean of Nintendo for making me have to wait a whole month and tease me like this. I mean... dammit. If I can have this much fun with HALF the controller experience, I wonder what kind of nonsense I can muster with the NUNCHUK in hand. Granted, some games are better than others, but I no longer have any doubts about Nintendo's Wii... They simply know what they are doing. Let's just hope for plenty of third-party support and a freakin' Star Wars game. Light Saberz!