By AntonCaptainSeagull. Sunday, May 9, 2010 11:42:16 PM
You loser! you can't beat the game, it's just too hard for you, it's just so dang difficult you spend hours and hours getting past the first level, and by the time you do, you are on your last life and have no idea what is waiting for you in level two, so the first enemy that pops up - kills you. You just can't catch a break, but you play and play again and again until you do eventually conquer Psycrow, or you STILL keep trying, one thing is for certain though, and even though you don't know WHY it's true, it just is: You love this game.
How many of you have a favorite game or even franchise that you just suck at? either you never finalized the story, or every time you play it takes you forever and a million continues to beat? There are a number of stand-outs for me, read more for the full story huh? and when you are through, share your tales if you got any...
Battletoads: In Battlemaniacs is one such game I don't think I ever passed level 3 on! but man-o-man do I love it, I mean the first stage is easy enough, but as soon as I am hovering down the tree at the start of the next level I better have my game-face on because it's a toughie, especially near the end when the level is just whipping through and I have are my reflexes and prayers, PLEASE don't let any of those pointed branches stab my Pimple! The prayers must work because I entered some brain type level and got my hover bike... This might as well be the final boss because after the mid-point it's insane trying to watch for those stupid walls that appear out of no where and smashes my Rash, or sends my Pimple flying away from the bike. Game over man! Game over! And this is just ONE player! get a buddy in on the action and it's pure insanity! Even when we make sure that the option to hit your buddy is off "trust me you need that off), we still can't get anywhere, because if one guy dies, he's out for good, and I hate leaving my buddies hangin' without a P2 pad. So when we make it to the Bike Brain stage, we count it as a secret stage for completing the whole game (2 levels), because we love the game too much to let it die.
Earthworm Jim Series? forget about it! I can get pretty far, but once that grandma starts falling at me while i'm trying to ride that stair-thingy up, it's over, I mean it's bad enough that I made it past "What the Heck?!" and the stage where Psycrow throws puppies to their doom, but I can save them if I bounce them across the stone using my giant marshmallow to Petey Puppy - who WILL kill me if a puppy splats on the pavement. I never understood the green blood though.. - but i STILL want to play it and I love the character, Earthworm Jim is somehow a staple in the classical era of video gaming, I mean 16-bit wouldn't be what it is if Jim never crawled into that suit. I love this series so much, yet I can't even remember what stage was from what game! one or two? I do know that the Gramma-Stair-Level is in number 2, but thats about it.
Resident Evil Series. I saved the best for last, even though I HAVE beaten all the "numbered" games in the series (save for 5 - I don't want a 360 or PS3), I would like to think i'm actually a pro at RE4, but zero through three are just hellish for me, especially the remake of RE1 on the Gamecube. Maybe it's because the zombies can now enter windows, or figure out doors, or that there is NO freakin' ammo! and those EFFING hunters can lop your head clean off from across the danged room! Or maybe it's because on top of all that the helmet key, and sheild key, and green stone, and yadda yadda eagle crest something somethings are all scattered everywhere and I can't tell if I should pack the crank to get where I am going, or the stinkin' crest, THEN I have to go back, because I always bring the wrong thing. OH and your buddy you are supposed to bring the medicine to? he died the first couple of times I played because when I got back to him, I thought it was just a zombie on the floor waiting to grab my legs, so I didn't get close enough to activate the cut-scene. Seriously, I spent two hours running around wondering what in the blazes I missed! PLUS I hadn't saved for a while before this little mission, and didn't want to reload from a very early point in the game - stupid ink-ribbons.
However! Resident Evil occupies such a HUGE part of my life, I almost got an Umbrella tattoo on my shoulder just to have it, and Jill is always in my mind as a possible baby name if/when that day comes. Jill is probably on-top of my personal list of favorite Vidgie Girls, and Zombies... well zombies are awesome, it's a love hate thing, zombies are probably the worst thing to exist if they were real, and I would hate it, even though, they are one of the coolest things while they are NOT real. The whole series is a great one, keep on going Capcom, oh and bring 5 to Wii somehow, or maybe even port it to Nintys next machine when that arrives, I would like to follow the story forever - because Resident Evil is boss.
I mean I can go on and on about these games that other people can beat SO easily, Megaman X is NECESSARY for me, though I only beat it once, Super Ghouls N' Ghosts - don't kid yourself I made it to the fire stage, and that was worlds from where I usually die, but that music brings me back. See, I just can't run through for my life and give up on them, no, instead I CONTINUE and play to my masochistic delite, because I am a fan-boy damnit! and one day Rash and Pimple may just be able to save Zits... one day. What games do you as Enplussers love but suck at?
- Anton, Editor