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Wario Land: Shake It! I can't stop thinking about it. This has turned me into a Wario fanatic--looking for any game with Wario written on it to satiate my garlic chomping urges. Wario is my main in Super Smash Bros. Brawl (everyone fears DA CLAP), Mario Kart Wii, and all the other Mario spin-offs. But I needed MORE. I've beaten nearly every WarioWare to 100%--it's still not enough. Then lo and behold, sitting on the shelves of my local Video Entertainment Facility, Wario World for the Nintendo Gamecube called out to me. It said, "HAVE A ROTTEN DAY, Nyah-HEH-HEH!"

I had to have this game.

"Gamekeep! How much of your Earth moneys will it take to acquire this game?!" Alas! The Wario World was a rental copy. In denial, I threw a wad of money at the guy's face and ran off with the game. I later had to return to get the security lock removed. When the game came out in 2003, I was a bit hesitant because all of the reviewers trashed it for being so short. Fifty bucks for what was exaggerated to be a five hour game doesn't seem like my cup of tea. Because it's a video game and not a cup of tea--Short story long: I passed. Well, now that Wario World generally retails for 14.99 at most used game emporiums, shortness is no longer an issue. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a review on Wario World. Click past the break to give it a read. Otherwise, you can "Get outta here, you losars! Nyeaaagh!"

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Ah, the DS Homebrew Scene. Somewhere in the midst of emulators, PDA applications, media viewers, and drunken miners blowing each other up emerges an alarm clock application. Coded just in time for the Neo Flash Summer Coding Competition 2007, Sleeper Killer is the coolest name for an alarm clock--EVER.

You see, I have a problem: I like sleep. I like it a lot--so much, in fact, that I can outsleep a bear (which would explain where I've been). Sloths think I'm lazy. My alarm clock is the love child between a megaphone and a foghorn. However, whenever I need to be awake, I have a hard time committing the whole idea of staying awake. I've tried everything from setting the alarm across the room, to setting the clock forward, and to even planting booby traps. Whatever the circumstance, I am able to get up from my bed, avoid all the obstacles in my way, mash the snooze button, hop back in bed for an extra 9 minutes of glorious sleep without having ever opened my eyes. I'll do this several times every morning. As a result, I'm always a multiple of 9 minutes late for everything...

UNTIL NOW. Sleeper Killer is the Hibernation Hitman. You have to earn your snooze function. Even then, it only gives you 3 minutes! Granted, the DS speakers aren't as loud as my fogphone/megahorn. Luckily, I had an extra pair of PC speakers lying around, hooked'm up to the DS and cranked the volume to the max. What's nice about Sleeper Killer is there are different options. You can set it so you wake up at a set time, like a regular alarm clock, OR you can set your sleep duration to ensure you get a full 8 hours of beauty sleep (or in my case, 3 months). Another option is that if were to have the homebrew DS Motion Cart (which has gyroscopes and fancy accelerometers like the Wii-mote), you earn your snooze by rotating your DS like a steering wheel 4 times in a row. Each time you activate the snooze, it adds 4 more rotations... punishing your lust for extra sleepage. Those without a DS Motion Cart (99.99999% of the world), you have to solve four math problems. Every time the alarm goes off, it adds four more questions.

Cruel. Evil. Yet, genius.

Needless to say, when I got to 16 questions, I questioned whether or not sleeping was worth the pain of solving math problems. So, as a world first, I got up. With all this extra time I have, I made this blog post. For more details about Mastertop101's Sleeper Killer, go here. Granted, you'll have to have a DS capable of running homebrew to try this out.