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N+ Micro Review: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii) + UPDATE

By G-off. Tuesday, 1. April 2008, 18:31:43

, , ,


I was serious in this review. It does not reflect the views of the other moderators of N+ (except for lutherjw, he agrees), these are my own thoughts and feelings about the game. It is crap.

What is it?

The latest in the highly popular Smash Bros. franchise, Brawl is a fighting game featuring many popular characters from the Nintendo Universe.

How does it play?

I would assume that everyone here is used the the mechanics of the Smash Bros. franchise. If you aren't, go out and buy yourself Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo64 and educate yourself. Then buy Super Smash Bros. Melee for the Nintendo Gamecube and educate yourself some more. Then convince yourself that there are only two installments to the Smash Bros. series and forget that Brawl exists. Seriously. The image to the right is an artists rendering of what I want to do to Sakurai now. Unfortunately I have a normal sized fist so it wouldn't be as effective. The main focal points of the game, Adventure Mode and Online Play, are incredibly weak. Adventure Mode should be renamed 'Walk around and unlock characters Mode'. It's boring and lame. Online Play is crap. It's laggy. Very very laggy. So laggy that at one point I thought that I was using a dial-up connection. Then I remembered that this isn't 2002 and the speed should be wicked fast. But was it? NO. NO IT WAS NOT. The option to play 'With Anyone' only works about 40% of the time, and when it does you feel as if a bear has just walked up to your Wii and punched it in the crotch. (Haha. Wii. Crotch. Haha.) The characters are all totally lame. The only exception would have to be Toon Link, and he has a stupid girly name. At least be called the Hero of Winds or something. Jeez.

N+ Summary

Game: Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Developed by: Nintendo
Genre: Fighting
Players: 1-4
Release Date: Out now
Supports WFC: Yes
Video available: No

N+ Points

N+ Toon Link is mildly acceptable as a fighter.
N+ I don't have to wonder what it's like to be tortured anymore.

N- Points

N- The game totally sucks.
N- Online Play is like trying to rob a blind man but then finding out that it's really only a man wearing sunglasses. He then proceedes to break your leg by wrapping it around a car bumper.
N- Adventure Mode is stupid and boring, should be called Sleep Mode.
N- Other people like it, so it has a moronic fanbase.
N- It has a fanbase.

JudgmeN+: 1.0

N+ Review: SEGA Superstars Tennis (DS)Super Screenshot Grab: Brawl

Comments

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Hmmm... I had my suspicions about it. Roll on Mario Kart, that's all I can say!

By seaempty, # 1. April 2008, 18:37:14

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I agree comletely. *hugs G-Off*

By lutherjw, # 1. April 2008, 19:00:41

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GET THE CRAP AWAY FROM ME.

I'm afraid of birds. :frown:

By G-off, # 1. April 2008, 19:06:57

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I would have given this game a 4, but not much more than that, they changed too many character skill-sets and really, I have played about 5 online matches. two with strangers (who were both thunder-spamming pikachus) and three with friends - which were so laggy all I could do was cry as the smash ball floated around.

By CaptainSeagull, # 1. April 2008, 19:20:22

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I think that's a little harsh, G-off. I gotta say I was a little disappointed with the game, but it's still a blast to get together with friends and play. That's all the game was good for originally. The adventure mode is a little monotonous, except for the boss battles. It was definitely a great addition to the game and a good attempt at creating a single player story mode. The cutscenes make it bearable. Classic mode is still as cool as the 64 version. The online is laggy, although I've played plenty of matches on random where it is not that noticable. When I've played with friends online, there's no lag. Basically this game takes everything from the first two, adds killer graphics, fantastic stages, and some elements with mixed results, and makes a great multiplayer Wii game. The hype and delays just built it up so much that it's not possible to live up to the expectations. 7 to 7.5/10 imho.

By thedude81, # 1. April 2008, 21:11:41

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Oh, and I hear that the wheel mechanics for MarioKart Wii suck. That pains me to say because that is the biggest draw for me, along with the online.

By thedude81, # 1. April 2008, 21:13:47

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FART FOOGIN' NOOGIN'.

By -MK, # 1. April 2008, 21:14:08

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I'm a flamingo? What the hell?

By thedude81, # 1. April 2008, 21:14:18

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I've heard the Mario Kart controls are great?

By G-off, # 1. April 2008, 21:17:15

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I heard the control with the GC controller is great, but not with the Wii wheel. I guess time will tell...

By thedude81, # 1. April 2008, 21:20:32

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Now I TOTALLY regret having bothered MyOpera support about my avatar o_O Hahahahaha... (Sorry, here in Mexico our version of April's Fool is in November...)

By Spook81, # 1. April 2008, 22:29:46

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Hahahahahaha.

By G-off, # 1. April 2008, 22:33:25

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I'd rather be a flamingo than a piggish-elephantish-hippopotamusish bull-like character...

By Spook81, # 1. April 2008, 22:34:40

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I think it's a rhino.

By thedude81, # 1. April 2008, 22:38:51

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I thought smash wii was a good game...is this an april fools joke or something?

By airman360, # 1. April 2008, 22:47:11

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...

By LlamaBoy, # 1. April 2008, 23:09:28

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A rhino!!! Of cooourse!!! ¬.¬ (Note the sarcasm...hehehehehe)
But I guess it's better than that blue cow...

By Spook81, # 1. April 2008, 23:28:55

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I liked every bit of the game. The adventure mode in this game was certainly alot better than it was in SSBM. At least this time there is actually a story to be told. I think the online mode was actually pretty nice too. But this "review" sounded more like a rant, than an actual review (or a convincing april fools joke). I'd leave the ranting to Zero Punctuation. Uh.. you must be forgetting that since it's a wii, the firmware can be updated so that the online experience can be made smother.

By Wiidark, # 1. April 2008, 23:44:01

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But it won't be updated. If it was going to, it would have been by now.

By G-off, # 2. April 2008, 00:09:04

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Can I still comment in "April Fools Day" mode, or will my comment seem "real" with it being the 2nd?

By moirob, # 2. April 2008, 09:55:16

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haha - maybe we should have a special "April Fool's Font" so people can tell.

By seaempty, # 2. April 2008, 10:05:29

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So is this review a joke or not?

By airman360, # 2. April 2008, 11:33:49

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It's algebraic.

By G-off, # 2. April 2008, 12:25:02

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I think its abacuses

By moirob, # 2. April 2008, 13:14:54

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Rhombus!

By seaempty, # 2. April 2008, 13:21:32

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that was totally math!

By CaptainSeagull, # 2. April 2008, 14:09:30

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April 2nd and my avatar still looks like an ugly 'rhino' ¬.¬

UPDATE: OK, now its fixed... (but I still saw everyone's avatar as an ugly animal, except for G-Off's a few minutes ago...)

By Spook81, # 2. April 2008, 14:33:33

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No it isn't.

By G-off, # 2. April 2008, 14:34:41

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-------- my comment on giving tis game a review score of four was APRIL FOOLS! --------

while my online experience has still proven to be laggy, offline I have nothing but praise!

By CaptainSeagull, # 2. April 2008, 14:40:01

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This has got to be an April Fools joke..right..

By WiiMaster999, # 2. April 2008, 14:49:59

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Well, I feel like a dumbass now...

By thedude81, # 2. April 2008, 17:54:14

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Damn you spoiled the mystery of it all. I liked that people were unsure

By moirob, # 3. April 2008, 07:11:47

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Me too. :wink:

By G-off, # 3. April 2008, 12:27:37

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Oh, this was a joke? I still stand by my comment on agreeing.

By lutherjw, # 3. April 2008, 22:56:11

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... :whistle:

By G-off, # 3. April 2008, 22:59:42

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...

By airman360, # 4. April 2008, 00:58:31

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Now, wait... is lutherjw kidding now or not? April Fool's is over. I don't get it! *head explodes*

By thedude81, # 4. April 2008, 04:26:16

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I wish they made an emoticon for that.

By thedude81, # 4. April 2008, 04:27:26

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UR HEAD ASPLODE

By G-off, # 4. April 2008, 12:08:48

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lol, your head asplode. Strongbad = lol

By airman360, # 5. April 2008, 19:33:18

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Strongbad is awesome.

By G-off, # 5. April 2008, 20:30:44

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lol

By adrian p, # 6. April 2008, 13:38:02

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w00t

By airman360, # 6. April 2008, 15:12:21

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