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More Japan in Trousers.......or Part 2



Seeing things in sometime unintended humor, I give you more of from my list of "Weird Book Titles"
:D




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Yofuku; or, Japan in Trousers.

Many years ago a friend and I walked into a small dusty bookstore in Norwich England and thus began a interest of mine that never ceases to amuse me. The walls of the little shop were lined with wonderful rare tomes in almost any European language you would want. But after a while it was the book titles that drew my interest.

As we all know, word meanings and language have changed over the years, and our public innocents have faded, leaving us to see some things from the past in total different light, and sometime in unintended humor.

In the 25 years since, as I travel, I always try to make time to swing by an out of the way used or rare bookstore to see if can spot a title or two to jot down and add to my growing “Strange Book Title” collection. These are all real books, some I couldn't resist buying myself, and many can still be found here Alibris .

Below is a representative cross section of my collection, and If you like, I’ll post more latter. Enjoy and have a laugh on me........and I apologize in advance! :lol:

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Hey, STFU......The StoryLadys Here!

So Set Yo Ass Down and Shut Up, Cause I'm Gonna Tell Ya a Story!

Todays Story -
"The Prince and the Seven Chickens"
By the Freakin StoryLady.


One upon a time there was a Prince who ventured into the woods for a hike and to generally get down and groove with nature a bit. During the course of the long day he got lost, tired and hungry. Next time, he noted to himself, bring trail mix! Finally, as it got dark he came to a great castle on the edge of the woods….(don’t be rollin yo eyes, you know there’s got to be a castle in a fairy tale…shit!) :irked:

He knocked on the great door and the King answered.......

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When in Texas......

Earlier this week I had to go to Kansas City to do a little work ( well at least that's what we call it :lol: ) so I decided since the weather was going to be nice for awhile to make a trip out of it and just cruise up on my little scooter I affectionately call Bertha. :heart:
She was a gift and I don't get to ride her much as I'd like, so with her new makeup (she was originally black and gold) a chain replacement and new carbs, off we went.

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Help Me Out With This.....

Am I missing something here........or is this just another photo of a woman holding a jumbo pink banana squash in one arm and a miniature schnauzer in the other? :lol:

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6 Years, $12M later the Results are in......... Cat Pee!

From correspondents in Auckland, New Zealand
AAP
May 11, 2009 02:25pm
News.com.au

CAT'S pee and sweaty passionfruit are hardly flavours to make your mouth water but it seems Kiwis can't get enough of them.
These are the core aromas of New Zealand's world-leading sauvignon blanc, according to a six-year study by a team of lucky wine scientists. :eyes:

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Shut Up! Da StoryLady's Talkin Here!

So Set Yo Ass Down and Shut Up, Cause I'm Gonna Tell Ya a Story!


Todays Story - "Rumpelstiltskin"
By the Freakin StoryLady.

Once upon a time there was this miller's daughter or sumpthin like that named Gladys. Now Gladys had a pathetic existence. All day long, she would do nuttin but spin straw. :rolleyes: And all night long, she'd sit up and think how she would like to be famous. Oh, to be famous, with untold riches and men falling at her feet, her own line of action figures, cardboard standees ........
Then one night.... POOF..... a strange little man appeared before her. :eyes:

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DumbAss Alert! #03

Cops Gone Wild!

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DumbAss(s) Alert! #02

Just not a good idea, any way you look at it!!

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DumbAss Alert! #01

Paramedic tries to buy wine wearing only his thong after supermarket staff refused to serve him in uniform.

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The Freakin StoryLady's in Da House!

So Set Yo Ass Down and Shut Up, Cause I'm Gonna Tell Ya a Story!


Todays Story - "Aladdin's Magic Lamp"
By the Freakin StoryLady.


Centuries ago, in ancient New Jersey, there was a modest little lamp shop owned and operated by a young man called Aladdin, largely in part because Aladdin was his name.
His lamp business wasn't exactly booming.....cause Aladdin didn't have any lamps. :rolleyes:
You see, the place was a front. Aladdin had an illegal rolling poker game going in the back room.
Then one day, a very rich and powerful King walked into the shop..................

Read more...

The Worst Night of My Life........well almost!

8:15pm......
The house lights come down and with the help of the stagehands flashlight I settle into place.

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The Freakin StoryLady Returns!

So Set Yo Ass Down and Shut Up, Cause I'm Gonna Tell Ya a Story!


Todays Story - " Beast and the Beauty"
By the Freakin StoryLady.

Once upon a time there was a magnificent golden castle (obviously not where I come from) on a silver cloud high up in the sky, which has nothing to do with anything cause my story is about an old wood chopper dude who lived in a shack, but that's a good way to start a fairy tale, know what I'm sayin...

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A Letter to Lidia

Lidia G.
Feb. 14, 1962 -- Nov. 10, 2003

I couldn't let another year go by without expressing things I hold deep inside.

It’s been five long years since you were taken from me, and it’s been my work and loyal friendships that have gotten me to the place now that allows me to write these words without pain. So many times have I started, but decided to wait. And knowing your Loving soul, I know you would not object to me doing so publicly.

You were truly a unique woman, never afraid to set yourself aside for the greater good.
You gave Love as easily as you were to Love.

I miss you so.

You knew the world in which I chose to make my living and the lifestyle that surrounded it, yet you trusted me implicitly. You gave me courage when I felt like not going on. And even though both our careers took us far away from each other at times, often to the opposite ends of the earth, you always managed to get away when you could, there when I needed you the most.
Like your father, you were always an encourager to me. I felt his death as much as my own fathers. He raised you well.

Your late morning phone calls from some far away corner of the world, just to see how that night’s sessions went helped me to get through the rough times without you.
Just hearing your voice.

And yes, I do know something of the nights you cried yourself to sleep at the thought of the human misery and depravity you sometime witnessed as you traveled in your work, the feeling of helplessness to do anything about it. I could sometime hear it in your voice as you would say “I'm OK, stay focused, I just miss you.”

And how my heart danced the times I looked up after a long and difficult night in the studio to find you that you had flown in, and see you standing behind the engineer listening to the playback and moving in your own way to the beat, wearing your grin of approval. The guys always said you seemed to know when it was right.

I can still see the look of pride on your face, the kind of pride that resides only in true Love , the night the call came of news that Wild-Eyed had broke the top 20 album chart. That look made me realize the long hours and the grueling 14 months on the road was all worth it to you. Your eyes said it all, and you never looked more beautiful to me.
It was that night that I realized I could not, nor would have been who I was at the moment if it had not been for you.

And I still remember the taste from your cheek the tears of joy the night Julia was born. How you took my hand and said you would give up everything you had worked toward to be a mother to her like your own. And you were. You taught her your gentle Loving ways, and
I could see in her all that I Loved in you. She would have grown to be the woman you were.

When in Europe I still sometime go to our special meeting places, and after all the one-nighters we spent in Paris, choosing to wait till we could enjoy it, I finally did see the city by day. I wish now we had not waited.
I made a special trip to Chartres alone, because I knew I’d feel close to you there.

And I finally finished the house last year, just as you laid it out with only the necessary changes, and now regularly filled with our friends. The walls are lined with your best work, loving framed by Dee Dee. Your Geographic Covers hang proudly on each side of the fireplace. She cried the entire day she worked to hang them for me.
A Sister's Love is very deep.
And I plan to duplicate the garden from the old house best I can, where Julia played and you loved to spent summer afternoons .

Some people go through life accepting love as it comes, never knowing what it really is.
You taught me what love is by your words and actions. It’s not to be learn from a book.
You taught me to treasure the people and things that come to me, for they may be gone tomorrow.

I cannot put into words the joy and happiness you brought to my life.
With your Love, admiration and encouragement you helped make me the man I am now;
I only hope you would still be proud.
Your strength, your courage to do the right thing, your patients and understanding allowed no doubt in me of your Love.

I adored you for all you gave me and admire you for being the woman you grew to be.

The days are now much longer without you both.
And there are no words to describe how much my heart misses you now.

:heart:
G.


I've Been Adopted.........By Two Ladies.

One evening, about two weeks before Halloween as I enjoyed an adult beverage and watching the last light of the beautiful autumn sunset on the lake, I heard rustling in the patio garden below. Not that unusual here with all the rabbits and small animals that reside on a water front. As I looked over the the balcony rail I see two pair of eyes glaring back at me from the azalea bushes that lines the walkway. Raccoons I think to myself, time for some fun. So with Flashlight, lighter and firecrackers in hand I again peek over the rail. Much to my surprise I see a small grey kitten curiously looking around, and behind her a black figure almost invisible in the darkness. OH Great, a mother cat has had kittens on the grounds somewhere, they'll be some owl's dinner by morning.

I went to bed that night hoping they would not be around the next morning, maybe wander back to the protection of their mother. But once again the next day I hear a ruckus , and look to see two kittens, a grey tabby, semi long haired, and a coal black short hair wrestling in the grass, growling and spiting like mortal enemies. I whistled and poof. They disappeared, but not for long. As darkness fell, they came together up on the patio to get out of the rain. I dropped a large piece of canned tuna fish (dolphin free of course) over the balcony rail only to watch it be devoured in an instant. I could tell they both hadn't been feed for a long time. Later that night I set out a large bowl of food, water and milk. Within minutes they had eaten and were gone.

Days later they were allowing me to watch them eat, but not approach. But one evening, I left the French doors open while I watched a movie and they sat at the door eyeing me suspiciously. I ignored them and they soon entered the room cautiously and look around curiously. The next afternoon, after their meal of cat food and a little warm milk the black one came in the door, sat and watched me read and soon was on the back of my chair, purring. I talked, she purred, then she let me pet her for a while and disappeared.

Next night they both came in, the black one seemed at ease with me.
Peace had been made.
The grey one slept, with one eye on me, at the edge of the big coffee table, the black one a few feet away on the floor. Soon after they were spending the whole day watching me, and exploring the few rooms I allowed them access to.

They never left.

The grey one is still a bit skittish and is not as affectionate. Even though my house keeper sometimes feed them also, she still seems untrusting and afraid of something, and doesn't like sudden movements. It reinforces my suspicions they were not treated well and were throw aways. She's still afraid of the upstairs rooms, the sound of thundering drums come from up there.
I named her Janis because of her gravelly deep meow. She's very independent and now has a beautiful semi long coat and long whiskers. She chooses to spend most of her time playing with doodle bugs and lounging in the hammock outside.

The Black one is another story altogether. She spends most of her time inside, always close and sometime underfoot, with a slight hyper streak. But she's very affectionate, sleeps at the foot of the bed, and has been dubbed by my friends "H.C."(House Cat).

I just couldn't resist naming her after my Opera Friend "Zaphira".

And I promised her pictures.....




Sorry about the color, they're 35mm transfers.







































































What a life........


Hitslink Crazyness....


These are some of the crazy search terms that showed up in my Hitslink snapshots while I was away this weekend.

Was it a full moon this weekend?
....or did someone let the monkeys loose in the computer lab? :lol:


www.google.com.au/search?h...
Search: whipping female prisoners... :eyes:

search.aol.com/aol/search?...
Search: crazy kitchen tables... :right: :left:

www.google.com/search?clie...
Search: galle money boy..... :eek:

www.google.com.sg/search?h...
Search: "drums wearing shorts".... :lol: :lol:

www.google.ca/search?q=Esk...
Search: eskimo chicks.... :up:

aolsearch.aol.com/aol/sear...
Search: old tv western about a boy who can't speak... :zip:

:lol: ...and my favorite:

search.msn.com/results.asp...
Search: life is short play naked.... :yes:

:cheers:

From the Desk of Missinformation


Exclusive....
Olympic Committee Adds Daring New Events!

By Lillian Crass
Crass New Service




Oslo Norway..... The International Olympic Committee announced today a large step in the evolution of the International games of the Olympiad. In order to increase the attendance and television viewership, daring new events of interest will be added to the future games. Going progressively forward on the Winter games side it was announced by Officials the addition to the line up of the exciting event to be called the " Pants-less Ski-lift Gymnastics Competition "

Shown here is former Dutch Porn Star Hans "Grote Dick" Thorneson, an Olympic hopeful practicing with trainers to demonstrate his basic routine for our cameras.
"I think I have the Equipment and Technique to compete at the Olympic Level, wind chill permitting of course" said Mr. Thorneson.
A ladies competition is also in the works.:eyes:

Interest in the event is growing fast as word has reached my desk that the entire male staff of the small Norwegian Company "OPERA SOFTWARE" has formed "TEAM OPERA" and plans to begin training soon for the debut competition at the next Winter Games.:whistle:

On the Summer Games side Olympic Committee Officials announced new events will include mens and womens "Nude Table Tennis" singles and doubles, and "Equestrian Diving" from the 20 and 40 meter boards as well as a "Javelin Catching" competition. :left: :right:

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Lillian Crass is President and C.E.O. of CNS/Crass News Service based in the United Kingdom.
With a crack team of correspondents spread worldwide, she gathers the best in World and International News as well as dirt on everybody. :D
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Your Horoscope for 2009


By Rebus X32

Most Excellent Star Gazer.




And I'm glad I'm not you!!

Aquarius - (January 20- February 18)...You will briefly be the centerpiece of all creation next year when the guiding force of the universe remembers that it hasn't hit anyone with a lightning bolt lately.

Pisces - (February 19-March 20)...You should move confidently in whatever direction your dreams take you, even if their about being chased down a dark hallway by a bloody fanged eggplant.

Aries - (March 21-April 19)...Your on going efforts to equip your computer with ever-improved access to information will result in bandwidth high enough for you to become the first person to get hit by a bus over the Internet.

Taurus - (April 20-May 20)...You will find yourself trapped inside a personal lubricant factory, an event made more embarrassing when it's revealed that the place wasn't locked....you were just unable to get a descent grip on the doorknob.

Gemini - (May 21-June 21)...The stars do not usually warn mortals of specific outcomes or specify futures, but if you throw away a pair of face cards to try and fill a straight one more time, they are going to come down and kill you!

Cancer - (June 22-July 22)...Death by firing squad has a certain desolate nobel quality to it , but it will be ruined when the inept and drunken Central American rebels fail to hit you above the waist with their first nine volleys.

Leo - (July 23-August 22)...There are many possible fates in store for you next year, but they all seem to involve you standing rain-drenched and shoe-less at the side of a major interstate highway, cursing all single men.

Virgo - (August 23-September 22)...According to the stars, nothing will be able to stop you next year, which sounds great until at some point you find yourself behind the wheel of a runaway gasoline truck.

Libra - (September 23- October 23)......You will develop quite a serious reputation this year as a " party pooper " mainly because your friends are too polite to call you " that chick who shits in the punch bowl ".

Scorpio - October 24- November 21)...Your stance on the health care crisis tends to be rather conservative, but for a few months next year it will be heavily influenced by the steel bar protruding from your rib cage.

Sagittarius - ( November 22 - December 21)...You will soon play a large part in the history of the vast interstellar navy of Quondrax, a planet where they can only christen a new star ship by smashing an asshole like you across the bow!

Capricorn - (December 22- January 19)...People will only pay attention to you this year because of your enormous breast, but cut them some slack.
Most people only have two and theirs are on their chest!


Dear Santa......

What's up Santa....:smile:

Well it's that time of year again, and I'm writing to tell you that I was a good boy this year.....
NO, REALLY!. :D I paid my taxes, gave to charity, helped a couple of friends out in a pinch and even finally learn to quit messing with the helicopter pilots while still in the air.
I quit gambling, don't smoke any more and cut way back on the drinking........well kinda........Ok, two out of three ain't bad.

I even did a few good deeds this year..... I took in a stray black kitten that was surely destined to be some alligator's lunch, and gave her a good home. And then there was that little old lady I helped cross the street one day...(The Judge dropped the assault and purse snatching charges after I explained I was just trying to get her to the other side of the street).
How the hell was I to know she was just standing there waiting for the bus?

And I did the "Green Thing" this year too. :up: I put two solar panels on my roof to do my part so the north pole wouldn't melt because I didn't want you, Mrs. C. and all the little elves to fall into the deep, dark, cold water and die of Hypothermia.
To bad I had to cut down all the trees to get enough sun it to make them work.
I even quit dropping firecrackers off the balcony to terrorize the raccoons that like to have their little orgies on my patio at 3am on the morning.

So, as you can clearly see Santa, I have finally turned over a gigantic new leaf, so to speak. :wink:
Which brings me to the point of this letter....and don't worry....I'm not asking for that friggin pony again this year. After forty years, I GET THE MESSAGE!
But I've done ok for myself and I can buy any damn pony I want now! p:

So, what I would like to ask for this year is a playmate for my kitten.........a bunny.
To be specific......a Playboy Bunny. :D
Now, I'm not going to be picky, <Santa inserts Bunny of the month > or any month will do.
I think they're all blondes anyway.

I promise to pet her, feed her, give her a bath everyday, and keep her nice and warm at night.
I'll play with her a lot, take her for rides in the car and buy her some tight sweaters so as not to catch cold and get sick.

I know I haven't been so good at times in the past, but you owe me big time Santa for waiting all those years for that Danm Pony! :mad:

Have a Good Trip!

Your Boy,
P2


P. S.
Santa, if you decide to make a pit stop again this year when you come by P2's pad,
PLEASE FLUSH! Gees! :yuck:
What's Mrs. C. feeding you up there anyway?

Be Back Soon............

Just got a May day call from a touring band. Leaving in the morning to join up and finish the ongoing tour dates. See you guys on the flipside!...............................................:cool:

At Least I Got My Ass Kicked By A Name Brand!

By Wally G.

Everyday people get the shit kicked out of them by second-rate implements. Be it discount baseball bats, flimsy aluminum pipes, or after market no-waffle head hammers, nearly everyone has at one time or another gone through the de-humanizing experience of being severely pummeled with a lesser quality product.
Well, I’m proud to say the crowbar that landed me in the hospital three weeks ago retailed for 29.95, and is sold only in the better hardware store nationwide.
Let me tell you, this is the kind of crowbar you’d tell everyone about if your lower jaw hadn’t been smashed and wired shut.

Sure, it hurt my ego when the Titan SureGrip model 43 crowbar was first driven unexpectedly into the back of my head. And yes, I did cry about it for a couple of hours afterwards, but that night, I was hit by something even harder than that 20 inch, curved piece of high-carbon steel: the realization that there’s no shame in being beat down by the best crowbar money can buy!

While I originally harbored some resentment toward my assailant for knocking out 12 of my teeth, all it took was one look at that blazing orange and white Titan logo arching toward my face to realize I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Even while chocking on my vital fluids and drifting in and out of consciousness, it was hard to ignore Titans superior quality and craftsmanship with each two-handed, overhead blow to my ribcage. Pleading desperately for mercy, I was immediately struck by the crowbars sturdy hexagonal cross-section structure, which prevented any bending of the shaft. Most of all, I was impressed by how its cushioned Sure-grip handle allowed my assailant to confidently pummel away at my helpless facedown frame without fear that it would slip loose.
No way! Not the SureGrip 43!

The way I look at it, if you’re going to lose three pints of blood, you might as well lose it to the crowbar most trusted by demolition professionals the world over. After all, how many people can really say they were bludgeoned within an inch of their lives by the only crowbar to receive a perfect Five-Star rating in Hard Hat News Magazine?

Everybody says it must have been some psychopath that beat me and left me a bloody mess. And while at first that seems to make sense. But ask yourself this: Would your run of the mill psychopath purchase the highest quality crowbar on the market today?
I think not!

At the end of the day, after countless radiology exams and CAT scans, that’s what separates me from the other wimps in my ward. And while it’s possible that many of us will forget our names or what year it is again, I alone will always remember the superior brand name responsible for the debilitating trauma to my frontal lobe.

Sure I may never be able to walk unassisted, but after months of physical therapy, I will hold my head high. Thing could have been worse, I might have had to live out my life with the humiliation of nearly checking out of this world at the hands of an imported inferior quality mass produced, stamped cast steel crowbar!

They called me crazy when I switched shampoos, But who's crazy now, Eh?


By Brumus H.
Pity those poor mortals milling about the drugstore. I once numbered among them, braying and milling like sheep in limp-haired herds. Like them, I was satisfied to follow the same old morning routine, blindly accepting the shampoos of our forefathers and their forefather before them.
But armed with only a dream and a coupon I discovered in the Sunday newspaper insert, I DARED TO SWITCH BRANDS!!!
They thought me mad. They thought I was crazy. But look at me know! Look at my rich and easy-to-manage locks and tell me who’s crazy now! They think I didn’t see them shaking their heads, whispering behind their hands.
Damn their tiny minds!

The instant I entered my shower and squeezed a dime-sized dollop into my hand, I knew that a miracle was nigh, and their ignorant fear did not concern me. As I coaxed the lather into my hair I could feel the revitalizing power coursing through my hair, electrifying it to the very roots!

Like Archimedes, I sprang for my shower and shouted to the Heavens: “Behold! Gaze upon my head and ask yourself - is this the full-bodied head of hair of a madman?”

With small-mindedness, the “good people” now shun and malign me. The sidewalks seem to clear before my path, and my approach is greeted with the sound of slamming screen doors and sharp clicks of deadbolts locks, because I dared to pick forbidden fruit.

How they laughed at me at the drugstore! How they spat upon my dreams of healthy hair!
But they don’t laugh now as I vigorously toss my beautiful head of flowing lushful locks. Again and again I toss it , almost as if in slow motion.
I ask you, are theses the actions of an insane man?

Perhaps it is madness to have this lustrous and health of hair, if that is the case, then so be it! Let the name of Brumus be invoked in the same breath with other great madmen of infamy, as long as it is synonymous with the achievement of beautiful, manageable hair!

They call me a monster! The chastised me for playing God. Their greatest minds bark among themselves: “God did not intend us to have the hair of the Angels!”
It is them that are the limp and lifeless, heat damaged monsters!

Pity there is no resent picture of me before the transformation, that these dullards might compare it to the glorious after, for I have breathed the apple-scented greatness, I can never go back!

If you cannot come with me on journey into the unknown, then be gone!
And don’t wonder what happened to me, know only that I have changed shampoos, and I can no longer live amongst lesser men! HA!

Ask Merle.........


The Expert's Expert!




Dear Merle,
I have a problem with The Laydeeez....

Read more...

From the Desk of Missinformation


News Update....
Crass News Service International.








Dick Cheney and Gov. Sarah Palin's Hunting Trip......:yikes:

Wabasca, Alberta:
Winding down from election season, Vice President Dick Cheney and Governor Sarah Palin last weekend spent time hunting in the Western Canadian wilderness and took the opportunity to discuss Governor Palin's political future in the Republican Party.

Gov.Palin told reporters that she enjoyed her time with the Vice President, but remarked that "his gun kept going off unexpectedly. Someone should teach Mr. V.P. some gun safety there ya knoow!"

She also told reporters "the man has amazing eyesight. He shot at the occasional low flying birds that I couldn't even see as they flew right over the top of my head there!
If I hadn't bent over to adjust my socks he may have hit me a couple of times ya knoow!" :eyes:

The two have a more extensive trip to a remote area of the Amazon jungle early next year.

:yikes:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nader Supporters Blame Electoral Defeat on Obama, McCain

Washington. D.C.:
Supporters of Presidential Candidate Ralph Nader blamed his defeat on Barrak Obama and John McCain, claiming that the two candidates "ate up" his share of the electoral votes. "This election was stolen out from under Mr. Nader by Obama and McCain who diverted his votes to the Left and Right" said campaign manager Sunshine McDougall. "It's an outrage! If Nader were the only candidate, he would be President right now!"
In his concession speech, Nader characterized Obama and McCain as spoilers.

Extensive plans are already in the works for Nader's Historic 2012 run at the White House.

:jester: :jester:
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Lillian Crass is President and C.E.O. of CNS/Crass News Service based in the United Kingdom.
With a crack team of correspondents spread worldwide, she gathers the best in World and International News as well as dirt on everybody.
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Wisdom From Crazy Mabel's Kitchen Table

Mabel's Pet Tip's
By Mabel Calhoun

We all love our pets, don't we. So here is some of my best advice on choosing and raising you pet.
(Girls, some tips can apply to your boyfriends too)

Read more...

Ask Merle..........


The Expert's Expert!


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Dear Merle,
I am double-jointed.......Although this does lead to some fun activities, it can be a little uncomfortable. How do I tell my boyfriend (who is 35) to back off a little without hurting his feelings....

Kisses all over,
Reeling in Reno



Dear Reeling in Reno,
I personaly have always found the act of love with double-jointed people very satisfying. I'm double jointed myself, or I was (before the bad manure plant accident) and found it sometime a blessing and sometime a curse. You have my sympathy.

But maybe I can help.

My suggestion would be to acquire a little know but very useful book called
"The Lithuanian Kama Sutra"

Originally printed in 1609, written by Kazakhstan midgets and translated by Lithuanian monks, I found it chalk full of info and has a special section on the art of sensitive double-jointed love making for two, three or for going solo, if you know what I mean.

The technique of the "Karezza Half Moon Uruvaghana Embrace" is very good for the more nimble of us, and the "El Kabachi Transverse Gardabha Twist"(with optional chocolate) is equally effective for the more kinky couples. I also recommend the "Upside-down Lotus Padma combined with Yugmapad Lunge from the side position. Excellent!
TIP: This position combining the Feng shui technique of facing East/North East between the hours of 4 and 6pm is simple incredible!

But I must STRONGLY warn you, stay away from the section on "Parshva Marjara Reverse Ekabandha and Self Stimulation" I broke an ankle and two fingers with that one!

All and all, a great forgotten book that should give you and your partner minutes and minutes of fulfilled pleasure. And remember: Alway be safe in you love making. No deposit, No return.

If all else fails, CALL ME. I'm in the book! Woooo Hoooo! :D

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Dear Merle,
I can't seem to get the girls! Can you help?

Phantom2

--------------

Dear P2
Knowing the business your in, this should not be a problem! I am beginning to believe the rumors that you have real issues are not so much rumors after all.

But perhaps I can help.

First we must understand the ladies are delicate beings, or so they lead us to believe.
They love to be swept off their feet by a handsome gentleman, but tend to gravitate toward the bad boys in society. So we must walk a fine line between Wimp and Macho Man. We must be forceful, yet respectful. Stern but kind. We must pull out their chair at the dinner table, open the car door and meet their pleasurable needs in the way of their instructions (if you get my drift).
We must at all times take their feelings into our consideration . Make them feel like they are your Queen!

If all else fails, ply them with Liquor!

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Merle is Senior Manure Manager at Hardman's Hardware and Feed Co. and an Expert on just about everything.
P.M. your questions to Merle and get his Expert advice on all and anything important.
http://my.opera.com/Merle5/about/

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What's with you Humans Anyway ?


By Rebus X32
Most Excellent Star Gazer.

I'm in exile here, and I don't understand you people!


How I came to be here is a very long story. Short version, she said "the Ruler would be home soon, but please don't stop!" I'm lucky to still have my head and atomic structure intact.

You people have been very rude to me since I have been banished to your Planet country. You and your primitive handheld communication devices, walking around in circles and yelling on them at each other in public. And the young people and their repetitious sound waves, I think they call it music, sounds like my last transport device just before it disintegrated!
The only one that has been nice to me is that weird Mr. Phantom character, even though I think he has what you call "real issues", and in need of some serious help.

But I do find the female types here attractive. I don't know what it is, maybe their very nice footwear or the lack of facial hair. I don't quite know yet..
I have heard this elixir you call Crown Royal and females combine to make a very interest time. I plan on investigating further.

And I have watched very closely this activity you people call Elections of Leaders. I don't understand this concept. It seems to me that you select one of every group, all ages , shapes, reproduction types , colors and follow them around with a moving image box while they say vile and idiotic things about each other, all the while you go yay for them?

This whole idea seems idiotic. All over this puny little sphere you divide yourselves up into small sections of territory and elect a leader that speaks a different tongue from everybody else around them, you can not understand each other!

No wonder you people are warring all the time, no one knows what each other is saying!

Have not you people heard of a SUPREME RULER!

Non-sense, all this is Non-sense!

But I have serious plans to take over, by force if necessary...as soon as my grant money from the U.S. Government Department of Housing and Urban Development arrives!!

By the way people, your atomic clock is wrong and your periodic table is incomplete!

NEWS UPDATE:

From the Desk of MissInformation



By Lillian Crass
Crass News Sevice International.







FLASH!....Pillsbury Doughboy killed by Broom-Wielding Housewife!

Date Line: Fort Wayne Indiana, U.S.
Kenneth Fresh, 34, son of original Pillsbury Doughboy, Marv "Poppin" Fresh, was killed Monday when a startled housewife beat him to death with a broom. "I was sweeping the kitchen floor and lamenting our family's usual humdrum breakfast biscuits when I heard a strange high-pitched voice directly behind me" said the shakened Debbie Combs, 44, of Fort Wayne.
All he could say was "Try my new Flaky Cres-" before my instincts took over and I pounded him with all my might".
Rescue workers frantically poked Fresh for nearly 20 minutes in an effort to revive the doughboy, but were unsuccessful. No charges were filed.

The Fresh family honored his request that his body be donated to baking research.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Hollywood Fashion Critic Dies

Date Line: Los Angeles, U.S
Mr. Blackwell, the acerbic designer whose annual worst-dressed list skewered the fashion felonies of celebrities from Zsa Zsa Gabor to Britney Spears, has died. He was 86.

Blackwell was a little-known dress designer when he issued his first tongue-in-cheek criticism of Hollywood fashion disasters for 1960—long before Joan Rivers and others turned such ridicule into a daily affair.
Year after year, he would take Hollywood's reigning stars and other celebrities to task for failing to dress in what he thought was the way they should

Mr. Blackwell was laid to rest in a Florescent lime green suit, Purple shirt, orange tie and an Elvis wig and sunglasses. Rip Taylor gave the eulogy.

Donations in his name will be accepted by the Fashion Disaster Relief fund of California.

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Astronomers Admit They Made Neptune Up.

Date Line: London, U.K.
An elaborate 155 year old hoax was revealed Monday, when the Royal Astronomical Society confessed that the planet Neptune does not exist. "It appears to have begun in 1864, when Johann Galle needed a big discovery to give his career a jump start, so he fabricated this new planet" said Royal Astronomical Society President Sir Johnathan Peachmere Johnathan III.
"Every since, every astronomer who wants some attention has come up with a new report on Neptune and made up some rubbish to support it."

"I swear we meant to come clean eventually, but the whole thing just kind of snowballed on us."



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Lillian Crass is President and C.E.O. of CNS/Crass News Service based in the United Kingdom.
With a crack team of correspondents spread worldwide, she gathers the best in World and International News as well as dirt on everybody.
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Your Say & Opinion......

From the Desk of MissInformation


By Lillian Crass
Crass News Agency International.









Don't Talk To Me About Problems:
by Stoner Dude

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P2's Rules for Rock & Rollers

Over the years I have silently learned my lessons as well as observed my fellow musicians as I banged away from my little perch and taken mental notes of what I've seen and heard.
So now I share some of what I've learned from my experiences with all you inspiring future Rock Legends.
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
(Drummers pay special attention!)

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I'm Outa Here......

22 days.....10 cities.....14 shows...............see you when I get back!......................:cool:


Yup...It's that time of year again!

That's right. Down here in our little corner of paradise we don't have brush fires, earthquakes, sinkholes, mud-slides, droughts, floods, blizzards , crazy people flying planes into buildings or mountains that explode, but we have a mean little weather condition we loving call "Hurricane Season".....(not to be confused with a drunken night in New Orleans).

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season, and any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points: (1) There is no need to panic. (2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Louisiana. If you're new to the area, or planning to move here, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "another the big one.''

Based on my experiences, I recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
Step 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
Step 2: Put these supplies into your car.
Step 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Louisiana.

So, with that in mind, I'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: (1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Louisiana, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house and drop you like a hot rock at a moments notice!

This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

PLYWOOD SHUTTERS: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will probably fly away.

SHEET-METAL SHUTTERS: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

"HURRICANE-PROOF'' WINDOWS: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low- lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says ``Louisiana,'' you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Louisiana tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.

In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
..23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

..Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!)

..A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.

..A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

..A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Camille; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)

..$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean, hanging onto a sign post for dear life and telling you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck and remember: it's great living in paradise! :smile:

LadyArtane's Great Little Web Site.....

Ever considered giving up your bloated, slow and sometimes unreliable Windows operating system? :frown: Ever thought of trying Linux? If you have or are thinking of doing so, I have a web-site for you.

Opera community member Pariah has a brand new web-site for the new or inexperience Linux users. It's well written and easy to read information, instruction, tutorials, reviews and also a short history of the Linux system. Even if your just curious about what Linux is all about, please take a look Here . She shows you the basics of what you need to know to install Linux.

She uses Linux Mint, as I have. A light, fast, stable, reliable and easy to use system and has also written a fine review of the Mint 5.0 on her blog Thoughts from the Outside which garnered her comments from Linux Gurus and the Mint Developer himself on the official Linux Mint web blog Here . So she's plugged in at a basic level to be able to bring good info to the table for all of us. For those of you who have not tried Linux, you really don't know what your missing!


The site is still under construction and will be expanding so I'm sure she would appreciated your comments, questions and support.

This is one site I plan to visit often. :yes:


One Cool Trooper!

* FLASHING BLUE LIGHTS In My Rear View Mirror *


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Last Tango in Paris......

One last evening of fun before leaving Paris behind.....

I was awakened late this Sunday morning to a telephone call from dear friends from Norwich England who were in the city for the Fete de la Musique. They had recognized me from the crowd and tracked me down through one of the promoters, so we invited them up for a late breakfast on the balcony and caught up on old times till way past noon. It had been a very late night after the performance in the Place de la Republique (please excuse my French spelling, I’m doing it from memory).

As for the concert, it went very well and we were received with enthusiasm exceeding our own expectations. We started slow because of a bad amplifier hum and loud annoying clicks that almost stop the set, but were quickly resolved. Then the stage manager insisted on no encores for any reason because of time restraints. Like waving a red cape in front of a bull and being the rebels we are, we decided on the fly to close with a 17 minute version of the Door's “Roadhouse” with a long blistering jam in the middle that we worked out as a backup piece. We all thought it quite appropriate to play it in Paris. :wink: We really didn’t want to stop and would probably still be playing if not for him pointing at the main stage breaker and made threatening hand signals.
Silly little man! We don’t understand French hand signals! :lol:

After my English friends went on there way we decided to walk the short distance to an outdoor café for lunch and on to see the city one last time. We really wanted to see the glass domes of the Galeries Lafayette, done in beautiful art nouveau style, and of course we had to arrange for some of our favorite wine we have discovered here to be shipped home. I also bought a small statue of a French girl kneeling to put in the garden at home that has to be shipped.
As we drove through the city we would occasionally stop to shop and listen to the street musicians, sometime sending the driver ahead a few blocks and wait so we could just walk awhile. Every block brought new smells and sites to the senses. The mime on a unicycle directing traffic, the bakery shops, a young girl selling flowers that would continued to appear from nowhere, all almost surreal when your sleep deprived.

At dusk we drove to up to Montmartre and walked the last few blocks up to Place du Tertre to see the city one last time as the lights came on for the evening. The colored spotlights from the festival events shining up into the air combining with the usual lighted landmarks was a memorable site see. It all became a little eerie after we were told that here, on this high point in the city once stood one of the gallows of the French Revolution. :insane: While some places we went were very crowded, it was a wonderful time to be here. The city was full of music and artist, and some sites had extended hours to accommodate the extra visitors.

The late evening was spent having dinner at the apartments of a French couple we befriended in a sidewalk café second day here and spent the afternoon showing us some sites off the beaten path. She being a former school teacher, he being a retired assistant curator of the Musee de I’Orangerie that holds one of the largest collection of Claude Monet’s paintings. One afternoon last week they offered to give us a private tour of the museum and, being an expert on Monet, he gave a detail story and incite to each painting along with a thorough story of Monet’s life and times. They treated us as if we were royalty and he seemed to have enjoyed giving the tour as much as we did listening to his rich dissertation on Impressionisms and the painters of the period.

Our last waking hours in Paris were spent accepting the gracious invitation to the wonderful meal and engaging conversation with these newly found friends that will remain one of my fondest memories of my stay here. And I have a feeling we will meet again someday.

And I will miss our driver Jean. A young newlywed of 22, working toward her degree in Finance at the University who, at our service 24 hours a day, got us where ever we need to go on time, and give us many tips and much advice that made our time more useful than expected, and with all the “Class and Graciousness” that can be afforded strangers. Reluctantly accepting our offer to lunch with us while on duty one day, we all became instant friends. She said more than once “I’d love to see New York City someday”. And she shall, on me. I’m leaving with her tip 2 round trip tickets to N.Y.C. and a note to meet us there in Late August when she gets her break from work and before she returns to school.
And this time she gets to ride in the backseat! :lol:

Having spent most of the last 10 days here, I can’t help but feel a connection that I didn’t expect, but I guess I real should, after all I do have French blood in my veins. My maternal Grandfather was born in northern France, in a little village near the Belgian border, and after settling in Kansas, only became a naturalized American citizen after joining the Army and coming back here as a young artillery gunner during WWI to fight in the fields of his home country. After the war, he courted and married the daughter of French emigrants. My mother spoke mostly French until she started school.
And above my dresser at home, to the left of the mirror so I see it most everyday is a small black frame inclosing a Purple Heart Medal with the inscription “ June 11, 1944 D-Day + 5 ”, awarded to my father for wounds he received while making his way east to help liberate the very city from which I write.

Unfortunately I have experience a few anti-American sentiments from some young music fans that I talked to. I listened to their rants, but my manners only allowed me to ask one question, “Have you ever walked the cemeteries at Normandy?” Their answer was always no. I would say “Why not pay a visit sometime, then look me up and we’ll talk”. It cuts them off at the knees. I was once young and unappreciative too.
And I also see some disturbing cultural trends here that I had only read about, they seem to be much deeper than I expected. That’s all I choose to say on that.

I’m glad in a way I waited to see Paris till I could appreciate what I’ve seen, and in another way I wish I had come earlier, before my life was changed so drastically.
And I wish I could go into more detail of what I’ve seen, but time doesn’t permit it now.
There is so much to tell. Maybe more when I get home.

But now with no sleep tonight, it’s quick flight back to Malta for the island event Tuesday night and the business at hand. I have heard during tourist season when traffic permits, night flights out of Paris sometime circle the city as they leave…I hope this is case this evening.



We have decided to back out of the Glastonbury festival because of the quick turn around time to Malta and then to England in 2 days. Because of unreliable equipment transport and concert lineup changes, no guarantees of the cut of the gate because of gate jumpers and the lack of promised stage security, we feel the contract is not met. This was not a decision we made easily, Glastonbury being one of the last “Hippie Festivals “ left, and the band’s past music would probably be received the best there. But business is business.

With three weeks till Montreux, maybe a quick trip home for a few days....I’m beginning to miss the sounds of crickets at night.......:smile:


:heart:




A Rainy Day......

With all intentions of seeing Versailles today, the sky was dark with clouds and rain was imminent this morning….not a good day for wondering around in acres of gardens. So not to waste the day, I decided to go back to one of the few places I know well in France.
For sentimental reason I went alone with just my driver to a place that I have fond memories of time spent with the one person who truly understood me.......

Chartres:

Just 50 miles southwest of Paris is one of the great architectural masterpieces of France.
The “Notre-Dame de Chartres”. High on a hill over looking the city, the present Cathedral as it stands was built between 1194 and 1290 on the site of the fire damaged original Church that dated back to the 8th century.
As you approach the city by road, it’s spires can be seen 20 miles away. One of the first examples of Gothic architecture, it’s flying buttresses were in innovation that allowed for massive high walls and vaulted ceilings that became the standard feature of cathedrals in the middle ages. Three great portals give entrance, each multi arched portal carved with life like figures of robed saints and charters of the faith. They are beautiful works of art themselves.

On my many trips to Germany for recording sessions, I used to meet my wife on the North portal steps when her work brought her to Europe. This was always our special meeting place to steal a day or two and spend time alone together while we could. A British musician friend owns a small chateau near the city that was always at our disposal. We would spend time just silently holding hands and looking with amazement at the sculpture and fine details of the building. Being born Catholic, it had special meaning to her.
She truly loved this place.

The history of this building is long and somewhat mysterious. Many theories have been given rise to the carved figures and symbols that fill the walls and porches of this massive structure. But the one thing that cannot be denied is the beauty of some of the world’s most famous stain glass windows. High up on the walls are the work of craftsmen that have no rival in stain glass. 28,000 sq ft of glass make up the windows that cast a beautiful pattern of light onto the floor of church. The most famous are the 3 great round “Rose Windows” that dominate the walls. During World War One in anticipation of a siege of Paris, and again During World War Two, the thousands of eventual pieces of the windows were loving dismantled, cataloged and stored for safe keeping, the pains being irreplaceable. We would sit for hours with binoculars and gazed at the window details, always seeing something we didn’t see before.

Another feature of Charters that you will not see at first because of the eyes being drawn to the beauty of the building itself is the choir screen. Just pass the transept in the middle of the church is a panel that separated the choir from the seating. It is a delicately carved screen of wood that took over two hundred years to complete. There is no way to describe it any other way than I have already. It is simple amazing once you know what it is and really look at it.
The vaulted ceiling of Chartres is some thirty feet higher than the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, a tribute to it builder. The stone walls 12 feet thick at the base are castle like, and combined with the buttresses, hold a load bearing of unbelievable weight.

Today I sat silently watching the visitors as they viewed the almost 800 year old church for the first time and tried to imagine what it took in manpower and resources to build.
But all my mind wanted to do was remember......

One Fine Afternoon.....

A small problem has arisen here. My “GO-TO-MY –PC” program that has worked flawless since I installed it a few months ago on my travel lappy seems to be acting an ass! :irked: I have been cut off three times while trying to post on a group blog, and have only now been able to reconnect to my home computer which I use for accessing my email and Opera to write these post. I have sent 3 PM’s that remain unanswered . The Internet connection at this Hotel is quite slow, and I have been warned away from the Internet cafes, lots of shady people with unusual looking electronics hooked to their laptops! So, I have been up most of the night, and after a bit of trouble shooting and way to much wine, I think I have it By George!! :D


Wednesday Morning......

With much anticipation, we arose before daybreak for an early breakfast in bed.:happy: Soon afterwards we were off to my primary destination, the one place I said I would go, but only if I could spend as much time as I wanted. And not until then!

One of the great pleasures of travel for me is to see the great architecture of Europe. The closest thing to a European city we have in America is the old parts of New Orleans, much of which were built in the 19th century. Since the day I first open a history book and saw the Great Pyramids of Egypt, I have been amazed at what man has been able to accomplish. The look of 18th & 19th century European architecture, beautiful preserved and restored, sometimes screaming of overindulgence and bordering on gaudiness, is part of the experience of Europe.

While still lit by lights and as the sky began to fill with the light of the morning sun, we stood and gazed at the Facade of an amazing Palace that has witnessed bloodshed, grandeur, spectacle and terror.
A place like no other in the world......


The Louvre:

Thanks to a tip from an Opera friend our wait to get in was short. :wink: We decided to forgo a formal tour and see today the things we really wanted to see first and come back tomorrow for a tour. We headed straight to the Sully Wing and Greek Sculpture Hall, my companions main interest and then later the Egyptian antiquities. After lunch I decided it was time to find the one thing I came here for. A painting that captured my imagination as a boy in fifth grade art class and said I would see with my own eyes someday.
After a short walk back to the Denon wing, we stood in front a painting that is ….in my humble opinion, a masterpiece of prospective and light.



Guiseppe Castiglione’s
“The Salon Caree at the Musee du Louvre”.
:happy:

An almost prefect Floor to ceiling, wall to wall 180 degree view of the gallery. As the sun from the skylight bathed the gallery in light and shadow the painting, a mere 2ft by 4ft , was done in 1861 over a period of 16 days. Castiglione captured not only the gallery, but the various visitors he found interesting as he worked. The painting is even more amazing when you realized he captured the actual paintings hanging in the gallery at that time and painted them at the exact angle as they appeared to him. The gallery ceiling, the massive picture frames, the visitors clothes, the woodwork, even the furniture is done in minute detail. The golds and blues remain vibrant and the picture is remarkable well persevered. I could go on and on about his painting, it was even more intriguing than I could have imagined. The fact it resides within the walls of the Louvre says it‘s a great painting, but the fact it is not more well know is a puzzle to me. This is beauty created by a skillful mind and hand. This is art that stirs the soul. You can nail a turd to a piece of plywood and call it art, but all you have is a turd and a piece wood. If that stirs your soul, then you have my sympathy.

With that said, I was seriously moved by this painting. Maybe it was the fact of where I was,or that I did something I said I would do someday and kept that promise to myself, or maybe it really was the beauty. But I was told it showed on my face. I just don’t know.

Speaking of beauty, just down the gallery was a doorway. One that every visitor to the Louvre goes through eventually.



The Mona Lisa:

As you turn the corner there it sets behind protective glass, the unimposing portrait of a young woman, the” La Gioconda”, Leonardo da Vinci’s most famous painting. I was told by many that I might be a little let down and I didn’t really understand. I do now. Roughly 18 by 20 inches, yes it’s a remarkable painting, but dark and deteriorated by time. The fact it was painted on wood and the composition of the paint doesn’t allow for a good restoration, not to mention it is considered the most famous of his paintings makes it untouchable.


Da Vinci painted many versions of this portrait, this being his favorite. It is thought to have been carried with him everywhere he went in later life. Some believe it may be a self portrait.
While considered a genius and way ahead of he’s time , he is said to have been what we would call a bit eccentric, which begs the question......is the joke really on us?...... is the most famous painting in the western cannon of art really Leo himself in Drag?
:lol: :lol:



The City of Lights......

Paris at last!

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Lyon 6/4...

Off to the Continent.....

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R.I.P.

Rest in Peace....Bo Diddle 1929 - 2008

* Tips Hat *

Day of Adventure and The Island of Gozo-5/31

In search of a special cafe'

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Malta 5/12

Our base camp on a jewel in the middle of the Mediterranean.

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Notes from the Road.....


I leave soon for the first leg of my summer work "Across the Pond".
I will have a lot of down time between festivals and plan on doing some of the site seeing that concert tours usually don't allow time for. So, if everything goes as planned, I'll visit some places I've always wanted to see and never had the time.

I'll let you all know what I find.........:cool:

About That Time.....

Contracts are signed and dates are set ....not to mention I have a manager to support

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...Double Tagged!....REDUX....

Ok...I'll play along this time!

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Trunk Monkey....The Best In Personal Auto Protection!

One Good Man

Sometimes in a persons life you get to meet a someone who truly impresses you and makes a mark on your life forever.

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Is that Gumbo I Smell?

After almost 7 months, I’m finally back to the place I love more than anywhere in the world.

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I Aint Goin in That Shack.....

“I’m not going into that shack, it look like it’s going to fall down” I said . “It’s the best food in this hell hole” he said.

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.....turn her into the wind boys!

Heading Home....

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Relax Its Over!

Twenty-four cities in Sixty-nine days.

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