Your Horoscope for 2010
Sunday, 22. November 2009, 05:27:48

By RebusX32
Most Excellent Star Gazer.
And I'm glad I'm not you!!
Aquarius - (January 20- February 18)... A romantic hot-air balloon ride will quickly sour when it becomes clear that you and your love interest are guinea pigs in a meteorologist school experiment.
Pisces - (February 19-March 20)... The good people over at Fisher-Price Toys say it's impossible to be dismembered by one of their toys, but you'll soon show those smug bastards whats what!
Aries - (March 21-April 19).....Turns out it only takes four seconds to fall from the top of your building to the parking lot , but it will seems a lot longer.
Taurus - (April 20-May 20)... Some may call your breast implants tacky, but at least you will have the guts to try out unconventional shapes.
Gemini - (May 21-June 21)...When all is said and done, everyone will have to admit, while it might not have been worth the loss of an arm, you were right about the caribou!
Cancer - (June 22-July 22)......You'll spend a lot of your newly found fortune on expensive cars and fast women, and just waste the rest.
Leo - (July 23-August 22)... You will survive the accident, but for the rest of your life, you'll be paralyzed with fear at the sight of cumulus clouds, blueberry pancakes and Madonna videos.
Virgo - (August 23-September 22)..... You have often wondered who's responsible for all this fucked-up shit, but that will change this year as you will be hired to assist The Director of all this Fucked-up Shit!
Libra - (September 23- October 23)...... Your Life problems will be put into proper prospective when you realize that, compared to Black Plague that swept Europe in the 12th century, they're still pretty bad.
Scorpio - October 24- November 21)... Nothing of note will happen in the part of the year when you will still be around.
Sagittarius - ( November 22 - December 21)...You will discover incontrovertible proof the Lynn Anderson did, in fact, promise you a rose garden! (if your over 40, you'll get that one)
Capricorn - (December 22- January 19)...People will only pay attention to you this year because of your enormous breast, but cut them some slack.
Most people only have two and theirs are on their chest!






























