PHANTOM'S RAMBLINGS

“I’m not going into that shack, it look like it’s going to fall down” I said . “It’s the best food in this hell hole” he said.

Last week I had to make a day trip over to San Juan from St.Thomas to take care of some lose ends from previous business. It seems that the Italian authorities remain in possion of some of my personal equipment ( my fav Pearl Concert Stage Set ) . So after a few long distant phone conversations …screaming and gnashing of teeth.. we decided to just go seek help at the American Embassy the next day and maybe even start an international incident or something . So back to the plane and off to the sky…..NOPE! My former manager Randy said it’s time to wet the ol whistle and we headed off to downtown San Juan and probably the seediest [neighborhood I’ve ever seen . As we pull up to this shack a kid about ten years old runs up to the car and hits the window with a stick and shouts something in Spanish and runs …the drive gets out and throws a rock....and I’m saying to myself “I’m not hungry after all”! “ It’s the best food in this hell hole” he says . So in we go…not bad inside. The air conditioners are running full blast and the doors wide open…..a life size full nude poster of Jayne Mansfield on the wall...….ya I could get use to this. After a couple of rums and a few crispy Shrimp I was feeling very comfortable when all of a sudden two guys come running in …..one runs to the back toward the kitchen …..the other runs and hides behind the bar, almost knocking one of my fellow travelers out of his chair. It was at that moment that I heard the sound you don’t want to hear in a bar…..the distinct clack ..clack …..the sound of a shotgun shell being chambered. ....than I felt my sunglasses ( standard equipment in this part of the world ) being ripped off my face! Before I could say what the… out of the corner of my eye ,I see three of the ugliest, meanest looking Puerto Ricans you ever will see turn the corner and enter the bar carrying what I’m sure were small handguns ( they may as well have been bazookas for that matter ) because I found myself sitting between a post and Randy …..almost directly in line with the bar and said Porta Ricans…...and no place to go but up. Friends I’m not a particularly brave person and this proved it. The thugs panned the room ...fired a shot in the celling ….spit on the floor and backed out quickly. The whole time the owner…I think… a little guy about 60 never flinched and turned and went about serving his customer. We did’t stick around to see what the guy behind the bar did.

Yesterday I asked Randy why he ripped off my sunglasses? His answer startled me. “ The guys that ran an hid in the bar both were wearing sunglasses….if those thugs had seen someone wearing a pair they would have started firing. In case you did’t notice they were ready to kill somebody”!

I like Puerto Rico …the rum is real ….the women are hot…..but I like my island paradise to be a little more tame.


As for my Drums and related equipment…..they remain in a warehouse at the airport in Salerno because some rat bastard won’t stamp a fuckin piece of paper!

As for Randy….he will continue to be my former manager, but a good friend!

As for me ….in the last six months I have experienced engine trouble in a plane flying from Denmark to Great Britain ( at night over water)…..Tripped on a stage cable in Milan and almost fell 45 feet to a surely famous rockin & roll death…..and almost get wasted eatin shrimp in a Puerto Rican Bar!

I Just want to go home to Louisiana and do a little fishing!