my thoughts....my words

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Jzzz dont ask !!!

Who r u to ve right on me!
And till when???
Y i need to seek ur permission;
Y i have to accept ur rejection.
Who gave u the right?
ITS MY LIFE U SEE.
U r no one to judge
till I want u to be.
Go away! I dont need u
coz u have made me CRIPPLED.
Jst bcoz u take care of me, u dont become my Lord.
I cant live like a PARASITE
I WANT TO B ME!
FREEDOM is all i need
u better give or leave.
Nw,m gonna show u the mirror
go on, keep blabbering,
coz nw m nt gonna hear.
Enuf is Enuf..and i had had enuf!
Let me grow,Let me fall
U dnt trust..Oh,u never can!
Bt i knw
one day I will make u PROUD.
If nt, certainly,it wont be ur fault.
Let me FEEL it, RULE it, JUDGE it, SPOIL it, MAKE it, TEACH it
after all ,ITS MY LIFE NOT YOURS AT ALL!
Wishing all opera users and my frnds A very Happy New Year

OHH WAT A DAY IT WAS.............!!!!

heyyyyyyy all mah frnds after a long time m bak again.wid my words n my feelings smile
well first of all i want to declare that this post is specially for all my friends who really care n adore me
smile thanx 4 being there. rest of u pls dont read...coz u may found nothing of ur intrest!!!mind it!!
well if u r my close frnd then u must be aware that today is my bday....thanx 4 wishing me...n if u hadnt then.........
then no prob...i dont mind lol smile
so m here to share d most unforgettable bday i ve.
here it starts....
u may not be aware of this bt from few days i was jst keeping a distance frm all my frnds.y??? thats hard to explain..in that context i changed my no n was kinda happy alone(well not truely coz my net frnds were always wid me smile)
but coz it was my bday..so i got lil bit selfish(hey m being honest).n i turned my number on!!!
as the clock stuck 12.it rang n rang!!i wasnt likely to take any call coz i knew they all r goin to shout @ me n i was scared!!
but it was gr8 smile my old ,new, childhood,n even frnds whom i never talked before on phone.... they all wished me.
awsome yaa???
but then i got the news of illness of my closest frnd on net..he wasnt willing to tell me abt it.bt i forced him...it was painfull sad i felt like cryin
his disease was uncurable..!!!but he took promise frm me that i ll not be sad...n i ll enjoy each moment of my bday...i said yes i ll(but did that happened???)
i slept @ 5:30 am after having d taste of maggie(yeah maggie @ 5 o clock is a real fun if u share it wid ur brother smile )

n if u ask, wats d need of sleeping at 5:30 mornin.so i wud tell u that it was jst bcoz my same net frnd took another promise that i ll sleep(coz he knew i ll have a hasty day n i may get sick after that)
so i slept n when i woke,i really thanked him im my heart for taking that promise(i was feeling better n fresh)
THE STRUGGLE>>>>
d most imp work of the day was to fill d option form of mca entrance test(it was last date n i wasnt prepared. all fault of univ)
to be precise here goes mistakes 1 by 1
1) i filled wrong marks in omr sheet
2)my result wasnt out so i dint knw whether i ll be having admsn or not(univ said fill d form n they ll give d result,,bastards they r!!!)
3)got my marksheets attested n bt bank said dd s nt ready!!!
4)went for nodal office.... enqired...got nothing
5)went another bank...asked for DD...thay made it all right
6)reached nodal office n then discovered i ve lost the cell phone of ma mum!!
7)nodal oficer refused to accept d form.he enquired ......i wwaited(d story is that d univ took my result withheld n with damn strugglig days n trips to jodhpur univ kota, unv n rtu...we managed to convince them n they said they ll gve admsn to us..)
8)he enquired n univ people said nooo!!!!!cry
9)so my patience...my struggle...my hopes..alll shatered at 1 moment(u cant imagine how it feels)
10)almost cryin went bakk to bank...asked for mobile dint found that... cry
i was having tears all d way...WAT A BDAY!!! WATS MORE S TO COME NOW!!!!
reached home...took my head on mamas lap(mumma understands everything she was wid me @ all events i mentioned earlier.infact she was taking all headache 4 me.her touch said all"dear dont worry m wid u" smile)
cant tell how it feels...so relieved LOVE U MUMMA smile
N U KNOW WAT ...ALL D TIME I WAS REMEMBERING THE WORDS OF MY FRND" ENJOY EACH MOMENT....BE HAPPY...NO WORRIES" sad
GOOD TIME smile >>>>
DOOR RANG n it was my chilhood frnd!!!
so glad to see him(more surprised)...n then another frnd...n then another
it was a treat...GOD IWAS SO HAPPY!!
N u know wat my frnd brought 4 me...two piece of pastries smile which i cut as a cake(yy thats spcl??? coz my frnd was totally out of money n she looked in her old closet ...searched hard...gathered some money...n bought that lovely delicious most precious pastries eva.)
want to mention here 2 things>>
*she asked d shopkeeper to write "happy bday" on that smile
*she came n did all that even when i dint even wished her on her own bday!!she s my darling(God bless her)
then mumma papa arranged d cake...n treat n party n all..
then we went to "Balaji Mandir" where we frnds often go
i asked to bless my frnds coz they really made my day!!!thank u God!!!
n there we three lovely gals...shared our views...ahh wat a time
Tired??? THERE S MORE>>>>
WHEN I GOT BAK HOME FOUND ANOTHER FRND WAITIN...SHE WAS HAVIN A SURPRISE YEAH...
but before that a gud news>>>
banker called n confirmed that d phone was there in bank only smile...yeah got mumma s cell phone bak!!
coming bak to surprise>>>
aGIFT FOM MY NET FRND!!!!
OH God wat a delight!!
Choclates!!! he knew i loved them..i always used to ask him 4 choclates smile
wid lovely card frm my frnd as well n a lovely chain n pendant frm my masi smile
here ends the sweetest day of my life..full of tears surprises...frnzz...blessings...love..n lot more(that r jst can be felt..not said)
m blank now
jst wanna say hope u liked it..n if not...then a

ITS ABT FEELINGS......

Ummm..m feeling like writing again...its abt feelings..when u feel for someone shud we tell him abt it.the feeling cud be abt anything..love,fship,anger.......i think its nt a bad idea.why hiding stuffs inside our heart?wat worst can happen..d person wud show no intrest..bt ouch!! That hurts sad if we dare to have feelings we shud have courage to bear this pain. "sochna kya jo bhi hoga dekha jaega" smile sapno me jeene se better hai reality face karna...right na? I ve done something like this today..n i m having no regret over it. Yeah..i ve decided not to talk to that person anymore..why i have done that?coz sometimes u need to get stubborn so that people can realise ur importance...never show hw much u care! Well thats a diff topic..i ll write abt it sm time.....in nxt blog may be smile till then..thanx 4 readin me...chao smile

M really gonna miss..............

Hi doston....well after long m here again..yesterday my junior called me told me abt all d happenings in my college...ragging lena, freshers plan karna, faculty ki controversies..n lots more!!! Bt yaar college ki yaad aa gai..n thats y m writing dis page...i ve jst completed my graduation..last exam wale din i was so happy ki chalo kaam complete hua bt nw dis emptiness is killing me.to tell u d truth..meri clg life was nt smooth..so much controversies ...huh..i must say i was one of d "most talked abt gal " in clg..bt i missed d way teachers loved me..adored me..n d best of d best thing r d fest season!i love performing...i remember jab pahli baar stage pe duet dance perform kiya tha.i was nervous bt baad me jo response mila...i was like a star!i cant forget jab mam ne mere ansu pochhe n gave me heart to study..no one cud imagine bt yeah i topped that yr n nxt one too.. smile i ve suffered a lot in those 3 yrs bt at d same time,i learnt a lot.dis college gave me introduction to d real world.apni clg life k bare me koi kitna bhi kahe kam hai...u understand na...ab to bas man yahi gunguna raha hai....M REALLY GONNA MISS DIS PLACE,M GONNA MISS MA COLLEGE DAYZ smile

I STRIVE TO.....................



FOR THINGS TO CHANGE I HAVE TO CHANGE!



Last night I was very disturbed. I tried to ponder why? Suddenly I realized, I had been acting selfishly, expecting a lot more from others, than what I was ready to give. In the last few days I have been rude, impatient, unkind… all this has made me sad and unhappy. I decided things had to change. And for things to change I have to change… and Lo I discovered these 10 beautiful rules for a happy day! I'm putting it into practice from today and I invite you to do the same!



Have a HAPPY day!





10 Rules For A Happy Day…



1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK...

If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind, I will not respond in a like manner.



2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY 'ENEMY'...

If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand "enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker or stranger.



3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY...

I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip.



4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE...

I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.



5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE....

I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.



6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL DO IT IN SECRET...

I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.



7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED...

I will practice the golden rule. "Do unto others as I would have them do unto me" - with EVERYONE I encounter.



8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE WHO IS DISCOURAGED...

My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling with life.



9. TODAY I WILL NURTURE MY BODY...

I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.



10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY...

I will spend more time in prayer today. I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational; I will find a quiet place (at some point during this day) and listen to God's voice.

MY FEELINGS......MY WORDS(when i was in 9th std)

I MISS THE TIME WHEN I WAS NOBLE
WHEN I WAS SOFT N SIMPLE
WHEN I USED TO LISTEN MY HEART
NEVER BOTHERED FOR OTHERS SAYING
EVERYONE STAYED FAR APART
BUT I BLESSED THEM IN MY PRAYING

I MISS THE TEARS THAT ROLLED DOWN
BCOZ I MISSED MY FIRST FRIENDS
WHEN EVERYONE PLAYED..I SAT ON GROUND
AND LOOKED TO OTHERS TRENDS

HALF OF THEM DIDNT KNOW I WAS THERE
HALF OF THEM ALWAYS USED TO STARE
I WAS A CREATURE WITH A LESSER TALK
IN MY HEART THERE WAS NOTHING TO SHARE

MY TEACHERS LOVED ME BCOZ I WAS SINCERE
THEY BOOSTED ME WITH LOVE N CARE
I WAS ON TOP BUT NEVER SHOWED DOWN
THATS Y , I THINK, I NEVER GOT CROWNED

PEOPLE LOVED ME BCOZ THEY LOVED MY WORK
SOMETIMES I FEEL PROUD, SOMETIMES IT HURT
MY PARENTS FELT PROUD BUT I NEVER HEARD
I MISS THE SHINE IN THEIR EYES... WHICH IS DROWNED BY TEARS

I MISS MYSELF AS TRUE HUMAN BEING
WHO FEARED OF GOD N LOVED TO SING...
..THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUST N NEVER LIED
IF EVER..THE REPENTECE HELD ME TIGHT!!

I MISS THE LIFE OF DIGNITY N RESPECT
BUT NOW EACH N EVERY EYE SUSPECTS
I MISS MYSELF AS I USED TO BE
GOD TELL ME THE TRUTH!! IS IT ME?!!!!!!!

EACH DAY TO DRAMA, EACH HOUR OF LIE
I CHEATED MY PARENTS, I REALLY FEEL SHY
ONE DAY I PLEDGED.. I LL HELP MY FRIENDS
BUT TODAY I M CRUEL THAT I CUT THEIR HANDS!!

I NEVER GAVE HAPPINESS TO ANYONE
I NEVER HELPED OR LOVED ANYONE
THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT .. O GOD.. GIVE ME THAT
IF U BLESS A LITTLE
....THEN PLZ MAKE ME DEAD....




June 2012
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