Pre10da's Parlour

every pretender needs their own parlour - this is mine

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Update on the new editions to my pet family p

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Hello Everyone!!

I believe i have not written a post here in sooooo long. No I did not die of loneliness and depression as my last post may have indicated towards LOL

In fact i have been busy with lots of new editions to my family this year!

But you have all met Tiger and Toby through my blogs before. Although here is the latest photo of them smile



I am not sure if i have mentioned my budgies before though? Bobby and Bonsai....don't be fooled by Bobby's name, she's a female but we didn't realise that when we first got her and named her lol whilst Bonsai is her mate. Here is them two together p



I also have a cockatiel. We named her Pretty Bird, mostly because well if you see her photo you will realise that she is infact very pretty ^_^ She's a very tame bird and we let her out of her cage to fly around the house most days. She likes to sit on your shoulder or head and she loves her head to be scrathed. Here is her photo :



I got Pretty Bird off a family friend, who found the cockatiel in her appartment complex. It was a security complex so you needed someone to buzz you before you could come inside and since she found the bird in the hallway of the complex she guessed it might belong to someone in the same apartment complex. But she knocked on every door and they all denied ownership so she kept her. Anyways Pretty Bird started to pull her feathers out as she got so lonely because my friend would spend long hours at work. She decided that i already had two birds and hoped that i could look after this one too. Pretty Bird is so tame and friendly that i could not resist her and so yeah we ended up keeping her.

One day though my sister has a bird of the variety called a grass parrot, but some people call them rock parrots. She had this bird and several budgies and a cockatiel in one big avery. But one day her grass parrot killed one of the budgies, so they were going to release the grass parrot into the wild. But i felt so bad! So i told them insetad of them releasing the parrot into the wild they could always give it to me. And so they did. Unfortunately i still haven't been able to bond with it and gain its trust,because he's such a flighty and nervous bird, but i will get there one day!! Nevertheless this is him...isn't he gorgeous? Apparently the males of this species are very colourful to atract a female. The females are more grey in colour and do not have any green or blue red or yellow on them. When i got him i called him Rainbow... and this is why, here he is:)



So that my friends are all my birds.
Although i dont know if i told anyone that in March of this year i had rescued two male guinea pigs called Simon and Squeaky from a small animal rescue society. They live together with a female rabbit i bought earlier on this year whom i named Pebbles. The black guinea pig with a little bit of white on its face is called Squeaky and the white guinea pig with some black patches is called Simon. They were already named when i rescued them. Otherwise i would thought of better names for them LOL

Here are the two piggies:


And finally this is Pebbles, who is growing up to be a real cheeky girl! She onces chewed right through a cable connection my router to my phone! And we were wondering why the net suddently stopped working lol



And that concludes all the new pet additions to my family! As you can see im very passionate about animals. I hope you all enjoyed this blog and thanks for reading!

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Until Next time, Peace Out
Be Good, If you can't, Then at least be good at it!
Cheers, Pre10da xox

~~~ Insanity ~~~

i like being alone.

when i get offers to go out, i make excuses to stay at home by myself in my room


but then why is this loneliness driving me insane?

maybe i dont like being alone? maybe the choices of company i have i dont really like anymore? maybe i prefer my own company over others?

but there were, or is a few, just a few , i dont even need all my fingers to count them.. that i do i like to be amongst their presence. to communicate with them, joke around, bond, share stories etc

and one in particular springs to mind everyday,, and that one is MIA

so sad

coz this loneliness is driving me insane

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Until next time, peace out
Be good & if u can't then at least be good at it....
Pre10da

~~~ The Bell Doth Toll ~~~





the bell doth toll
but i didn't hear it
death would come take me
but i didn't believe it
aimless, without purpose
my life, just like a circus

the bell doth toll
everyone could hear it
they warned me about death
but i chose not to heed it
lost, without goals
they came for our souls

the bell doth toll
he heard it before me
death came for him
i stayed to watch and see
tainted, without purity
they had taken my sanity

the bell doth toll
i heard it loud and clear
death came seeking
but i shalt not die with fear
gathered, those in attendance
they prayed for my own penance


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Until next time, peace out
be good & if you can't then at least be good at it
Pre10da

~~~ Tiger and Toby at Play ~~~

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Ok so when i first introduced you guys to Tiger i did say that i would be posting new pics of him for those interested in seeing his progress and watching him grow. I'll still be doing that but today i thought i might do one better, and capture the two buddies at play.

Seeing Tiger get bowled over twice, was just funny! But he seems to keep his own and seems to know when to stop too. Its great to see them getting along so well thus far.



When you watch this video and you can hear all the birds in the background. They belong to our next door neighbour. Mean grumpy old guy...but he has a beautiful avery full of so many various coloured budgerigars. Don't know what a budgerigar is? Check it: We have one too. A blue one named Bobby. Here he she is...





And if you listen even more carefully, you can also hear a bird native to Australia, it has a beautiful call and its called the Currawong. Not sure what a currawong is? Check it....



So anyways i recorded them two playing just on a whim, one because later on down the track i like to look back on how things were and two because i thought about my two buddies online who always ask me how are my dogs doing. And it thrills me to talk about them, Tiger and Toby...because at the moment i feel like i dont have much else to talk about. And that is by choice. And i'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything by saying that there's never anything else going on to talk about and update people on whats happening other than my dogs. It's just that at this present moment in time its just how i prefer it.

The irony of me being called Pretenda on irc and indeed any other blog site or chat site, is that infact online and in real life i am exactly who i protray myself to be. No masks and no fakeness and certainly no hiding behind the keyboard. Recalling a conversation that i had with a mate of mine yesterday, we were talking about the value of a smile. He calls it the starbucks smile. Indeed i remember saying that since a month and 7 days ago exactly nothing and no one gave me a real reason to smile, at least not on the inside anyways. I corrected myself saying, except my dogs. and seeing them play together today with no other care in the world... yeah, that really made me wear a real smile from the smile. I'll call it the StarDogs Smile. bigsmile Coz they really are the starz in my life.

So whats my current mood now? First of all i feel mighty pleased that i got the coding right, with my mate's help ofcourse to resize the photo of Bobby up But i also feel like i am on the mend. I owe that mostly to Tiger and Toby, and ironically to myself for recognising the need to be on my own for now and to not get caught up amongst the masses, who offer bits and pieces of advice but at the end of the day do not recognise what it is my brain and heart and soul actually needs to rejuvinate themselves.

I admitt i have gone slightly off tangent. What began as blogging about Tiger and Toby at play turned into how im holding up. But thats life. one thing always leads to another. Life is not always on the straight and narrow. But enough said. Its coffee time for me coffee

Until Next time, Peace out...
Be Good & if you can't at least be good at it...
Pre10da xox

~~~Missing Words~~~



I had this strangest dream,
This dream was me and you...
Strolling hand in hand,
Towards the ocean blue...
The gulls were singing loud and clear,
You whispered softly in my ear...
I felt you tremble right beside me,
There could be no other place i longed to be...
The wind it whispered through my hair,
Magic was made as i met your stare...
But then your face began to blur,
As my waking body began to stir...
It was then that i awoke,
Missing the words that you just spoke...

~~~ Where Do I Belong? ~~~

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Never once in my life have i ever felt lost and/or confused about where i am in my life , how i came to be here and what path to take from here on in. But tonight i feel like chaos...

I already mentioned in my first blog called the Aftermath, how i thought it was great that i had my family here for me after the break up where i kinda had a little melt down. Ok a big melt down. I thought it was great that i could just move back here no questions asked. And now i am not so sure... i feel like a hindrance, like i have disturbed the dynamics of what used to be where i called home. Now i dont even know if i can call it that anymore.

When i first moved out of home i felt really good about my purchases. A big bookshelf for my giant collection of books, those who read my last blog would know... a bed side table (more like a mini filing cabinet) that i could store away things that i dind't really have a *spot* for.. my big queen size bed. Well thats about it really by way of furniture. But since i moved out of that house back to mum's... trying to find a place to put all those things in my current bedroom or even elshewhere in the house is proving to be a bit challenging. But like as if i didn't already know this, I had mum all up in my face about why did i even buy all these things in the first place if i was just going to move back home in the end?

OH MY F**KING GOODNESS!!

Get real mum! i mean seriously, Could i predict that one day the love of my life who i wanted to spend forever with would just get cold feet and walk away? I didn't plan it. I certainly didn't ask for it. A bit of sensitivity can go a long long way. But now i feel like i'm in limbo. and its not the nicest place to be in at the moment i must say. Like i said last night, its been a month to the day he walked out on me. To mum that might feel like a lifetime ago, she might have forgotten my sister bringing me back home whilst i was half drunk, with fresh slashes on my wrist... just wanted it all to be over! I wanted the hurt to end! She might have forgotten like it was a lifetime ago, but to me it feels like it was just yesterday, and to have my own mother saying such things like "why did u buy so much furniture if you'd come back home anyways?" instead of something like "that monster , i can't believe he did this to my baby girl...what a coward he must be!" ...yeah it hurt like F**ck right then and there.

To go into my room and slam the door shut, to burst into tears feeling there was no where to go. no one to turn to. No one you *truly* understands what im going through. No one who would simply listen without trying to find the right words to say, no one who wouldn't judge me... Until i remembered #hope...

So i no longer belong at my own place with my best friend turned room mate. Today we met up for dinner. That was at least nice... and I signed the tenancy agreement to say i no longer reside there. No sense of belonging there....

I feel like i don't belong at mum's place either, but it's not like i was gone for long, only since December 2008. Yet no sense of belonging here either...

So where do i belong?!!

Until Next Time, Peace Out...
But Stuff Being Good as it gets you no where!!
Pre10da sad

~~~ Book Mania ~~~

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There are days life gets me down so badly, i feel like all i want to do is curl up and cry....but seriously that never got anyone anywhere did it? Lately i've been splurging alot of my money on books.....i realised something about myself. and that is, no matter how shit my life is at any given time, no matter how alone i feel, if i just pick up a good book and read, ...at the moment i'm reading Minette Walter's "The Dark Room" - its a great read, and i spend the bulk of my time reading on the train to and from work....thats roughly 2hrs of reading a day. I find that there's someting very very comforting about the fact that when times get tough for me, i can just pick up a good book, and immerse myself into it, become one of the characters, forget all my worries and get lost in a completely different world. I love fiction so much, it helps me to forget......and boy do i have alot of things in my life building up that i just want to forget....

To me books have always been a life saver....when i was in high school, and all my friends had a BF except me, during school holidays when i knew they were all going out together but not inviting me coz i'd not have a guy to be with and feel left out,....it was the "Tomorrow when the War Began" series by John Marsden that saved me, provided an escape for me, and got me through those times when i thought it just really sucked to be me. Growing up and starting to mature out, being a full time student, coping with the stresses of the study load, once again it was books that kept me sane. When i broke up with my boyfriend, Richard who i was with for two years and 9months....it was the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings books that had saved me.....somehow being able to use my imagination to immerse myself into a world of magic and witchcraft and good and evil had helped me mend my broken heart, had made me see that there was more to life than being in a relationship to help pass some of the more boring days. And then when my most recent ex, Andrew, broke up with me via email just one day before our 12month anniversary...i was so close to breaking down. I had gotten drunk over two bottles of wine and decided bunching the brick walls and hurting my fists would somehow nullify the pain in my heart. Ofcourse it dind't. I just ended up with busted up hands for a couple of weeks. And again it was books that saved me. Ironically the book i had just started to read was "The Best Revenge" - A New Alan Gregory Psycological Thriller - by Stephen White. Whenm i finished that i started straight onto Graham Hurley's - "The Take" and then i was onto The Dark Room as previously mentioned. today is exactly one month since the day he left me, how do i feel? Kinda OK. But i would be worse if not for my myriad collection of books. Which you can check out here:

Book List

Everyone has their own ways of dealing with the crap in their lives,,,,for me its escaping into what ever relm is depicted in the current book im reading, so far, its worked for me. So all you people out there who enjoy a good book from time to time, when you are hurting and simply have no answers and just feel so numb, to the point where you feel like its not worth letting anyone so close again....just pick up a book...and read...you never know, most of my dramas i've ended up finding a solution or a better way to tackle the issue from reading a book. The Tomorrow series for example helped ALOT. But if reading doens't work for you....then try something that does.


Until Next Time, Peace Out....
Be Good & if you can't then at least be good at it....
Pre10da

~~ New addition to our Family: Tiger ~~

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isn't he gorgeous?? Tiger is our almost 12week old Fox Terrier X puppy. He officially be came mine today bigsmile He's a bit of a handful at the moment but i know that he will grow to fit in just nicely. Toby and Tiger play really well together, although sometimes they do have a bit of a tiff. For those who love dogs and are interested i'll be posting new pics of him (and not to forget Toby) as the months go by to see how much he has grown. I've already taught him to sit. He's a smart dog.







Here is one of Toby and Tiger together.
I can already tell they are gonna be best mates and Toby will take good care of our little Tiger =D





Well thats it for now.
Until next time, take care
Be Good & if you can't then at least be good at it,
Peace out!
Pre10da xox

~~~ The Aftermath ~~~

I am a survivor and this is my aftermath.

My name is Hurrem, in irc people know me as Pre, or tenda ...short for Pretenda or Pre10da depending on which server i'm chatting on.

I've been through alot, as i'm sure so many people have. Some people struggle when they shit an uphill battle. Some people let it consume them and others just break down.

...I broke down...

I'm not proud of it but it happened.

Now i'm surving in the aftermath. I keep to myself, i moved back home. That felt like a BIG step backwards for me. But i did it, because the alternative was going insane. There is nothing like family who loves you to get you through during a bad time.

Here's a little something i have put together expressing how i feel about a bad situation i have had to go through just a month ago and am still going through until i am officially over it:

Wanted it to be over;
But it didn't work sober
Gave it a go drunk;
But the results never stuck

How will my heart heal?
Without changing how i feel?
He said that he would stay
He ended up walking away...

There's nothing i can do
I no longer live for two
Surviving is not easy
but the alternative made me queasy

Now i face the aftermath
Its not a pretty place to be
But until i find a better path
I hope my survival sets me free

Hope my readers enjoy this. And perhaps even learn something from it?
Take Care, until next time
Be Good, and if you can't then just be good at it
Peace,
Pre10da xox
February 2012
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