The Blog About Nothing

If there's one thing I've learned this senior year, never take an unnecessary class no matter how much your guidence counselor persuades you. This class was college algebra. My counselor told me it'd be a free college credit. Sounded good to me, even though I loathe math. First day of school, I go into my new class, last period, and learn a few things. (1) It is NOT free... if you want it to count as a college credit (2) I have no friends in this class, but many assholes (3) I was hoping for Mr Brown so I could just cheat on the tests.. But instead, I got Mr Bauman, the dude I had for Algebra II last year.

Mr Bauman is kind of a tight-strung person. Meaning he rarely smiles unless he catches someone texting, and even then it's a sarcastic smile. I think he's like in his late 20's. God he's old. He wears just about the same outfit every day- a long sleeve oxford button-up of a different color each day, loafers, and pleated pants. Yes, pleated pants! Last time I saw pleated pants was the Mount St Charles uniform. His hair is kinda oddish too. He uses all this gel, and has like a comb-over, but it goes two ways instead of one. Sometimes I day dream when I'm bored about him living a totally wild life. Given it's Bauman, I imagine him at a nightclub, and his idea of a "wild night out" being a short sleeved oxford shirt with khakis and hairspray.

So as of late, some of the morons in my class have been making fun of Mr Bauman. In the retrospect of comparing him to Chuck Norris. Whenever the phone rings in the class, we say "It's probably the Mayor calling him to save the city!". We've also contributed Chuck Norris jokes and replaced his name with Bauman's. Most of them have to do with math because he's a math teacher- "Mr Bauman can divide by zero" "Mr Bauman will subtract you from existance" "Mr Bauman can believe it's not butter". I love it, but Mr Bauman sure doesn't. So he's always looming around the kid cracking those jokes... and he happens to sit behind me.

This particular day, Bauman was making a funny pose where he was holding the SmartBoard chalk with his thumb, kind of making a "4" with his hands. One of his legs was crossed over the other. He was rolling his eyes at a couple of preppy kids. I thought it was hilarious, and I decided to sketch it down. Math class was WICKED boring, and I was getting all into this tiny little sketch. I was so into it that I jumped when I finally noticed Bauman right behind me glaring at the picture I was in the middle of drawing (I'm pretty sure I was penciling in the collar). He obviously wasn't amused by the drawing. Maybe he didn't like the way I made his two-way comb-over? I also drew his leg a little gay, but I dunno. He could just be modest. I gave him an "Uhh... heh?" kind of a smile. Sadly, Bauman didn't buy it and he growled at me to get back to work. Not unlike me, I continued to draw him as he resumed his Bauman rampage where he lightly kicks peoples' desks to make them pay attention.

"Mr Bauman counted to infinity... twice"