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Musings

Bringing things into focus

April 2009

( Monthly archive )

Dealing with the Swine Flu and other dangerous viruses

Many of my readers will recall my efforts to inform and protect against the Bird Flu and SARS. Many of the characteristics of Swine Flu are similar, and if you or a family member contracts the infection, here are some steps you can take.

First of all be prepared.

Get a supply of N-95 disposable face masks, disposable surgical gloves, splash-proof plastic goggles, and garments that you can dispose of or decontaminate. They should secure at the wrist, neck, and ankles. These are available from many sources on the Internet. Beware cheaply-prices products, especially the face masks, as they can be faulty. The N-95 will fliter sub-micron-sized infectious viruses of all kinds. Have on hand a gallon or two of bleach for disinfecting purposes. You can make an aqueous solution of 50% bleach and 50% water. This will kill all viruses (many can live up to 72 hours on most surfaces). Common sense is the best tool to use when considering the level of protection required for a specific outbreak of infectious viruses and microbes.

Routes of entry and infection

There are three primary routes of entry: inhalation, ingestion, and direct contact. Inhalation occurs when a caregiver breaths in viruses or microbes that are floating in the air. This dispersion of infectious organisms may originate from the victim expelling them in coughs and sneezes, or may simply drift in air currents that have an unknown origin. An example is an open window or heating/air conditioning vent. Respirators are designed to protect the wearer from contamination by inhalation but they must be worn properly and fit-tested frequently to ensure continued protection. A simple dust mask type filter does not provide protection against most microbial and viral infectious pathogens.

Ingestion usually is the result of a caregiver transferring hazardous materials from his or her hands or clothing to the mouth. This can occur unwittingly when an individual wipes the mouth with a hand or sleeve, eats, drinks, or smokes tobacco. Direct Contact refers to contact with the skin or eye. Skin is protected by garments, and the N-95 filter mask and indirect vent goggles protect against ingestion and direct eye contact. Mucus membranes in the mouth, nose, throat, inner ear, and respiratory system may be affected by more than one of these routes of entry.

Response to infectious pathogens may differ among individuals because of the physiological variability present in the population.
a.Age
b.Preexisting medical conditions
c.Prior exposure
d.Medications
e.Concurrent injury
f.Pregnancy

Donning Procedures:

Use a room as far as possible from the victim, with privacy and plenty of sitting space to facilitate donning of Personal Protective Equipment.
1.If possible, wear pajamas in lieu of regular street clothes. Clothing should be suitable for preserving comfortable body temperature.
2.Remove all jewelry and leather material. Persons needing to wear glasses or with beards or mustaches must insure a tight seal of the Face mask all over the face. If possible, it is better that someone else use the protective items.
3.Persons with long hair should apply a bouffant hairnet or place hair up in a braid.
4.Hydrate with 8–16 ounces of fluid.
5.If time allows have blood pressure (BP), pulse, respiration rate, and temperature taken and recorded to have a baseline record of the health of the caregiver.
6.Unpack appropriately sized garments as listed above, if available. Otherwise adapt what you have by folding and taping with duct tape.
7.Layout all of the pieces and confirm they are right size and especially the mask. Insure that it is tightly in place with no gaps between the filter and the cheekbones, etc.
8.Follow the instructions provided with the filter mask for donning. Position the headband for best fit & facial seal.
9.Put on latex or plastic inner glove if available—consider placing a light circular band of tape around top of glove to lessen chance of premature removal during doffing.
10.While sitting, remove shoes and place on foot covers, if available, otherwise improvise (foot protection should not present tear risk to the suit nor be heelless).
11.Pull on chemical/biological protective suit to waist.
12.Place outer booties/boots on over the foot portion of the suit.
13.Using duct tape, seal top of booties (boots) to protective coverall (use a flap of tape at the end and place facing front to ease removal).
14.For best biological protection, use taped under-gloves with the nitrile surgical gloves.
15.Seal seam of protective suit and gloves with duct tape (use a flap of tape at the end and on the front of the wrist area to ease removal of tape).
16.Zip up protective suit to neck and close zipper securing and covering zipper seal.
17.Position indirect vent goggles over the eyes and adjust headbands to ensure full visibility and comfortable fit. Tighten all bands in pairs by pulling them backwards & then tying off the slack, if any. Confirm tight seal of the face mask by covering filter opening with hand and taking deep breaths—face shield should pull tight against face. If faulty seal is found, then retighten all bands and repeat seal test. If tight seal cannot be obtained, then seek second provider assistance or use hooded device that covers the head with eyehole cutouts.
18.Pull suit hood up (if hooded model) and over the head maximizing the coverage of the head, neck, and ears and covering the mask seal edge around the face—ensure the suit is pulled up and fully under the chin and zipper is closed and covered. There should be NO EXPOSED SKIN.
19.Make sure you can see and breathe comfortably.
20.Have someone check for any exposed skin or air gaps in clothing and tape seals.

Ambulatory Victim Decontamination

•Children should be kept with their parents if at all possible; if no parent or older sibling is available then the caregiver should provide needed assistance to a child.
•Victim should be given Personal Decon items such as a strong bleach solution for wiping down clothing and shoes, and microbial hand & face cleaner or bleach solution (Pumped into a cup) or towelettes as soon as it is available and be given rapid instructions on their use. The idea is to make them as germ-free as possible.

The ambulatory patient may be directed by the caregiver to self-decon in the shower (best) or bathtub if available, thereby sparing the caregiver from involvement (though the caregiver should remain dressed and ready in an adjacent room if intervention is needed). If the situation involves multiple patients requiring simultaneous decontamination, this process will occur repetitively. Be sure to sanitize the shower or tub afterwards with heavy bleach.

1.After the clothing is sanitized as much as possible, then and only then it is removed prior to the shower or tub Decon.
2.Have patient remove all valuables and place in the small plastic bag.
3.Clothing is removed and placed in the larger plastic bag. Place both bags into the red biohazard plastic bag(s). Place identifying tag with unique victim name on bag and seal off top. Place outside of the dwelling for future disposition and/or disposal by authorities.
4.Victim will do head-to-toe gross decontamination wash using mild soap and water.
5.Special attention should be paid in the washing process to hair and all body crevices. Wash time cycle should be 5 (five) minutes per person under a single stream of water.
6.Water temperature should be tepid.
7.Washing should be gentle to avoid abrading skin.
8.Open wounds should be washed first with sterile water and covered with occlusive dressing prior to remainder of body decontamination.
9.Upon completion of wash cycle, patient should step away from the immediate wash area, towel dry, and put on a supplied protective coverall if available.
10.All towels and wash cloths used by patients in the showering process should be placed in a marked contaminated container for later clean up and decontamination.
11. The Victim is then ready for further treatment and/ or bed rest. If possible, have them don a pair of nitrile gloves and a face mask if coughing and sneezing. Have them cleanse the skin on the face and hands as frequently as required using the waterless hand cleaner or towelettes soaked in bleach solution. All tissues, wipes, towelettes, etc. must be placed by the victim in a biohazard red bag or marked plastic garbage bag immediately after use. If the nitrile gloves are to be reused, they should go though Decon (by the victim) in a solution of strong bleach for several hours prior to reuse. Again, it is all a matter of common sense. The foregoing procedure is based on a worst case scenario as regards the degree of infectiousness of the organism in question. For a non-ambulatory victim the caregiver will have to perform all of the above mentioned procedures.

Caregiver Decon

Prior to leaving the victim’s decon room the caregiver must undergo decontamination.
1.All equipment used by the caregiver that can be cleaned and reused must be placed in appropriate biohazard or marked garbage bags. Decon and clean by immersion in a strong bleach solution for two hours.
2.The caregiver will undergo a technical decontamination wash from a container of strong bleach solution from head-to-toe involving the outer garments, gloves, and boots.
3.After the wash is complete, the caregiver should remove protective clothing in the following sequence:
a.Remove outer gloves, turning them inside out as they are removed and place in bio-hazard trash container.
b.Remove tape from wrist and boot tops.
c.Remove boots.
d.Remove suit, turning inside out and avoid shaking.
e.Remove Face mask while wearing inner gloves, and if needed for reuse, decontaminate with bleach solution. Refer to clean-up and recovery protocol.
f. Rinse the exterior of the inner gloves in bleach solution prior to removal. Remove inner glove and discard into bio-hazard trash container, or if required for reuse, in a marked plastic bag for the soaking decon procedure.
g.Isolate all potentially contaminated materials until level of contamination is established and arrangements for cleaning and handling of trash and equipment can be determined.
h.Post-exposure medical monitoring should be initiated and new data recorded on the primary form.
i.The caregiver should then remove pajamas or other underclothing and shower and dress in replacement garments if providing continuous periodic treatment of the victim(s).

Lastly, use common sense and think your moves out ahead of time. I hope the foregoing covered all of the bases. Please leave any questions in the comment section, and I'll be glad to answer them.

New Life--Nature's Miracles in action!

As I reported in a previous post, I took in a stray pregnant cat in the middle of a sub-zero blinding snowstorm. Well last night, I was up most of the night playing midwife, and I am pleased to share this experience with my readers. I now present the six newest members of my family!


Squirrel Cage Motor Cars

I have been reviewing the technologies being proposed for alternate-energy automobiles, with a view to determining the best solution. As my newest vehicle is now seven years old, I will be shopping for a new one soon, and I want it to be Eco-friendly.

The result of my analysis is that the ultimate modality is the Hydrogen fuel cell-based electric vehicle. Unfortunately, this type of propulsion system is still years away, and will likely be realized as a practical mass production vehicle after my demise.

In the meantime, I must choose a hybrid system. For those of you that are technological illiterates, the following diagram shows the optimum hybrid technology of today:

The ideal hybrid’s main issue is located in the block labeled ‘Fuel Tank’. The best solution to date is one that utilizes LNG (liquefied natural gas), and a number of auto manufacturers have prototypes that they have developed. Natural gas is extremely abundant; for example, domestic NG supplies can allow replacement of the entire fleet of motor vehicles in the USA at present, and are adequate to supply them for the next 200 years, with no reduction in the miles driven. At present, the fueling costs are about 80 cents per gallon.

This solution totally eliminates our dependence on imported oil, reduces the C02 emissions by over 60%, and reduces particulate emissions to zero. As present day auto exhaust products represent nearly 70% of the U.S. contribution to global warming contaminants, our country would become ‘Green’ in a hurry.

Now, the block labeled ‘Drive Motor’ is about to get a major advance from Raser Technologies, Inc. (a Utah-based company). Their Symetron electromagnetic motor system, designed for use in hybrid cars, got the Frost & Sullivan 2006 Technology Innovation of the Year Award.

The Symetron system is an AC induction motor. It's only four inches long, a lightweight 66 pounds, and can deliver 64 horsepower with 170 lb/ft torque to start the car moving. With one per drive wheel, this gives the vehicle 256 Horsepower and a whopping 680 lb/ft torque. This would enable it to beat the fastest Ferrari in a zero-100MPH drag race.

Unfortunately, the national infrastructure for gassing up LNG vehicles is basically non-existent, and it is unlikely that Exxon, Conoco, Chevron, and their brother companies will embrace this demand-destroying change to their oil-based business models any time soon.

In the meantime, when the price of oil returns to the $100/barrel level by 2012, there is an alternative that is interesting to me. It means that I might have to return to my teenage experience of building Hot Rods, and construct a machine of my own.

The Magic of Steam
With the introduction of the Model 735 Stanley in 1918, the Stanley Motor Carriage Company took up a vigorous advertising campaign touting the advantages of the steam car over the "internal explosion engine" powered automobile. Stanley made great effort to point out that there are minimal electrics (only the lights), no clutch or transmission, no carburetor, and no high-voltage ignition system on a Stanley. An emphasis was placed on the fact that the technology of a Stanley has been around for over 100 years; is extremely simple; totals about three dozen moving mechanical parts; is a proven technology; and has been refined to the highest extent possible. Perhaps the most interesting argument revolved around the idea that the public demanded internal combustion engine powered cars because there are more of them; therefore they must be better! And, that early automotive engineers were obsessed with obtaining "power directly from fuel".

The Stanley Streamer
It was a pretty classy auto in it’s day, but since then the technology has advanced a little. Here is a modern steam-powered race car built in the U.K. It set a land speed record:

Here is another example of a modern steam-powered muscle car:Photo courtesy of Jim's Garage
Now, the Steam Engine is not as archaic as one would think. Here is an example of one made for a car that would appeal to any home mechanic:


Now, if we don't get our act together on LNG Hybrids, my protest scheme is to convert my old Cadillac to steam power. For fuel, I would simply drive down to the local landfill or raid my neighbor’s trash containers, and empty the burnable contents into the firebox on the big boiler that I installed where the trunk used to be. As I am now living on my Social Security check and my savings, It is a frugal way of getting around and doing my bit to violate the Clean Air act.

The blizzard of baloney

It is time for me to speak out against the blizzard of baloney being shoveled onto the uncritical heads of the American public through such vehicles as the Jon Stewart 'Daily Show', and the soon to fold ‘Leftist’ New York Times newspaper.

I watch ‘The Daily Show’ program frequently, not because it is funny (the so-called humor is sophomoric) but because it represents a classic example of George Orwell’s ‘Double-think’ and is in fact a very cleverly disguised attempt at propaganda that promotes socialism and the extremist views of the ‘Liberal Left’ in the USA. I should point out that Mr. Stewart was heavily involved in the election campaign of our new president.

I am watching with great interest the orchestrated efforts of the president, his appointees, and the Democratic congress to usurp the powers to govern not granted to the federal government and in violation of the 14th amendment to our constitution, and today noted that the CEO of Bank of America revealed that he was pressured by the Treasury Dept. and/or the Federal Reserve to not disclose to stockholders and other stakeholders in the bank the rapidly growing losses at Merrill Lynch before its merger with the bank. This is an outright violation of U.S. Statutes.

It would seem that those in power are hell bent on rewriting history in an effort to change the nature of our country into a society that more closely emulates the socialist systems abroad. To make this happen, they must first modify our collective memory of who did what to get us into our present mess, and then, destroy the financial system and the value of the country’s currency. They are making great progress in achieving this goal.

It is important to realize that all forms of socialism and for that matter, communism are systems that arose as a direct result of overpopulation and an unequal ownership of vital resources. The new government officialdom in America seems to be intent on "redistributing the wealth”. This means taking from the productive members of our society and giving to the unproductive ones.

I have stated repeatedly in this blog that I hate politics and politicians. The one man who ran for president that was even remotely close to my views on these matters is Ron Paul. Unfortunately, he was not elected, because the new Savior-based economy seemed a godsend to voters that were mired in debt created by their own bad choices and habits. It seems that critical thinking goes out the window when you are about to go down with the sinking ship.

Here is a short clip from the man that should have won the highest office. He represented the "Change you can believe in.”



It is no wonder that the state of Texas is considering its withdrawal from the Union. Levels of frustration are high in many other states, and the outlook for our children’s future is getting grimmer by the hour. Now, more than ever, it is time for the citizenry to take charge of their own affairs, elect honest experts instead of the same old Washington crowd, and view with extreme suspicion anything they hear or see in the mass media.

The potential for revolution is high, our rights are being diminished almost daily, and we can soon expect the economic depression I have forecast, along with food riots, mass migrations, and the Rule of the Mob. My hope is that we can change direction before lasting damage is done to our way of life.

The path to riches

Everyone dreams of accumulating great wealth. There are entire industries that are dedicated to selling you the secret(s) of becoming a millionaire. Today, I am going to tell you the facts I have learned over a lifetime, absolutely free of charge.

The first requirement on the path to riches is to develop self-discipline. This means creating a long term plan and sticking with it. It means trusting no one to do your thinking for you. It means taking the time and effort to deeply understand what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Secondly, you have to realize that everyone wants a piece of your pie. What little wealth you possess will constantly be under attack. You must be diligent in conserving and making the best use of your capital. And by capital, I mean both your money AND your time. At various times in your life, one will be worth more than the other. The trick is to distinguish their relative value from moment to moment.

Third, you must be prepared to work hard. Nothing good and lasting ever comes easily. To succeed in life and in your business pursuits you must trade value for value. To cheat someone ultimately results in your moral breakdown and unhappiness. You will never truly enjoy ill-gotten gains. No one respects the avaricious or the treacherous, and if you engage in these behaviors they will surely come back to haunt you.

Fourth, learn to separate fact from fantasy. It is O.K. to dream the large dreams, but you have to be realistic about your ability to achieve them. If you don’t have the necessary skills, take the time to develop them, and apply them to best effect. The yellow brick road is full of big chuckholes. The wizard of Oz may be a pervert or a bandit in disguise. Be alert to negative indicators and be prepared to slam on the brakes or change direction quickly. The only route to progress is dealing with reality.

Fifth, always look for the risk/reward ratio in everything you attempt, from marriage to taking that tempting job to become CEO of a failing company. Don’t let your ego get in the road of wise decision-making. In the final analysis, no one gives a rat’s ass how handsome, powerful, or rich you are. All they care about is where THEY are in relation to these things. Don’t delude yourself if you can help it. Always ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?” and, “What will it cost me?”

Sixth, realize that except for sales made under duress, everything sells for more than it is worth. Something that appears cheap at the outset may be very expensive in the long run, be it high interest rates or meantime between failures. In any exchange, someone comes out the winner. Make sure it is you most of the time, and don’t expect to win them all. Costly mistakes need not happen if you are vigilant.

Seventh, try, try, and try, to keep emotions out of your decision-making process. When making hard choices, fear or greed and love or desire can fatally cloud your judgments.

Eighth, don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Don’t declare an activity a success until the fat lady sings and the money is in the bank.

Lastly, remember that the true measure of wealth is found in how much you wisely give to others less fortunate than you. Choose to share yourself and your treasure with those who are important in your life. Live large, but also love large.

You can make the improbable happen---Just do it!




Impeding your ability to be happy

Happiness is a rare commodity nowadays, as people are beset on all sides with situations that generate fear and loathing. Much can be done to mitigate this negativity, and restore some semblance of serenity and satisfaction.

It must first start with an assessment of your true needs versus your desires. In this respect, creating a simple table with plus and minus columns for each item entered can be very enlightening. The entries would consist of elements that impact your daily life both positively and negatively, and would be weighted in terms of their importance on a scale of say, one to ten.

For example, perhaps you leased a new luxury car to impress your family or girlfriend/boyfriend and social acquaintances, friends and coworkers, as well as service the demands of your ego.

You must ask yourself some brutally honest questions. Do they really give a damn? Is your self-esteem and ego so fragile that you are representing yourself with possessions? Is your choice of role models or associates forcing you into an unwanted competition with others? Are these individuals happy themselves, or are they in fact, beneath your dignity? And, what is all of this costing you in terms of treasure you should be setting aside for your future? Is the whole business really satisfying, and worth the risk to your peace of mind?

In the macroworld, it is becoming apparent that excessive consumption, which is today’s economic driver, is no longer sustainable for the long-term. Thankfully, at least in the USA, it is becoming less cool to be a big spender and engage in conspicuous consumption.

But your list needs to include the use or waste of your most precious commodity: Time.

Do you spend more time watching TV than you do in meaningful engagement with family members, especially, your children and spouse? Is attending sporting events more important than a walk in the park or tending your garden? Are you wasting time reading adult comics or playing games instead of investing in your self-education by learning something new, or taking on something difficult, like a new language or perhaps, mathematics? How much better do the things you are presently doing really make you feel?

Be honest, and assign these activities their real value on our proposed scale.

And, how about your pets? Do you give them the time and attention that they deserve? They can’t tell you how much they love you, but they surely will show it with their behaviors.

I highly recommend that you include an inventory of your selflessness. It is easy to contribute money to a charity, but how about your neighbors? Can they use your help? Do you engage in random acts of kindness to strangers? How often?

I guarantee you that if you conduct an honest examination of the way you are living, the road to an enduring happiness will become self-evident. There is no greater gift that you can give yourself, and those you love, admire, and respect.

As I am becoming extremely old (compared to world standards), I can tell you that the most precious thing you will have at the time leading up to your demise is your memories. At that time, material goods, wealth, and social standing will be pittances hardly worth thinking about.


The rites of spring

As many scholars know, the date selected for Christians to commemorate the resurrection of Jesus Christ was not related to the date of the event as described in the New Testament, but was in fact chosen to supersede and hopefully replace rites that predated Christianity by thousands of years.

In point of fact, the word ‘Easter’ is derived from Eostre, the pagan goddess of spring.

Nonetheless, the human spirit demands a celebratory occasion to mark the transition of the seasons, and the month of April is generally observed as a time of joy and renewal in nearly every culture around the world. I’m in favor of that; particularly now, when the world seems so lacking in joy and hope for the future.

I noted that my Opera friends, save one, have kindly elected to not make comments regarding the rather apocalyptic post I made yesterday, but that is O.K. While I am not a violent man by nature, and loath the use of violence to resolve social conflicts, I felt that it was important to make a statement. And, that statement is simply that ‘Peace at any price’, can be costly indeed, and never in the past has it bought the peace and prosperity so desperately sought by the meek and the mild among us, who see it as the only rational course of action.

Unfortunately, the ‘modern world’ of reason, discourse, and compromise is a recent invention, and is practiced by only a small segment of the planet’s population. My personal belief is that the ‘carrot and stick’ approach is the only way to advance backward cultures and those who cling to outmoded value systems, to the common level we must achieve if we are to survive as a species.

My personal celebration of the rites of spring will involve several joyful events: the birth of new life in my household in the form of a bunch of new kittens, assisting my wife in getting her flower gardens up to her demanding standards, and turning the earth to plant a new vegetable patch. I will also travel into the heart of the Colorado Plateau in Southern Utah to watch the miracle of the desert bursting into countless miles of blossoms ranging from desert Primrose, to orchid-like blossoms on plants growing near the rare seep of potable water that springs out of certain layers in the Slickrock, especially this time of year when the snow pack of distant high mountain ranges percolates into the formations carved by the mighty Colorado River.

It is particularly pleasant to arise in the middle of the night in this remote desert wilderness to watch the night-blooming Datura plants unfurl their trumpet shaped blossoms in the moonlight. These outrageously beautiful blooms are fertilized by moths that flutter by your head in their hundreds as they do nature’s work to renew the world.

It is a great place to reestablish your inner peace and harmonize your worldview, which in my case, gets poisoned fairly quickly when exposed to too much civilization, and especially when being held captive over the winter months, as I am no longer able to release my spirit by gliding on downhill skis through deep snow in dark pine forests on the mountains behind my home.

In a few weeks, this will be my viewpoint as I plunge into the depths of my sanctuary:







It’s time to get tough on terrorism and piracy

I have been watching with growing alarm the rise of Wimpism in the Western nations, including the USA. Wailing, teeth-gnashing, and the wringing of hands are not appropriate responses to those who are out to destroy us, or bleed us dry. Our gentle, egalitarian cultures have conditioned our citizens and leaders to be submissive, and to a degree, cowardly.

It is time to change our direction and perspective on the issues that confront us. In order to bring possible solutions into focus, it was necessary for me to put on my Dr. Strangelove costume, and unleash my NAZI gloved fist to write this post.

First, let’s discuss piracy on the high seas.

It seems to me that easy and cheap solutions to this problem exist, if we only have the will and creativity to deploy them. For example, shipboard devices that can be remotely actuated via satellite to (a) disable all navigation and steerage systems while releasing persistent knockout gas throughout the shipboard ventilation system, and/or (b) add temporary crewmen at a given port of call that are warriors and equipped with the latest naval standoff weapons.

It is also possible to send airborne forces over the pirate strongholds and (a) make the entire coastline of a given area a no-go zone by dispensing chemical and biological weapons that degrade over time, thus making it impossible to launch any boats, or recover any booty; and (b) taking the pirate’s friends, supporters, and families hostage as required to improve our negotiating posture with pirates that hold prisoners for ransom.

In 1804, the fledgling U.S. Marine Corps were dispatched to Tripoli, and quickly took down the pirates that operated from there, destroying their stronghold and releasing surviving captives. Sometime, all it takes is a bit of bloody violence to bring a peace and respect for the law that lasts for decades. We just have to have the will to do it, and damn the criticism from the bleeding heart bunch.

On the subject of terrorism, this again is simple to handle.

Kill any you catch, swiftly, brutally, and publicly. It makes no sense to try them in a court of law, because they sneer at these institutions, and do not recognize the authority of any legal system. It should not matter what motivates them, be it religion or any perceived ‘injustice’ to a social or racial class. The rule of law must be obeyed. It is the foundation of modern civilization, and its application cannot and must not be negotiated.

And, if you are a country that supports terrorism or harbors terrorists, expect to be punished severely, both economically and by the use of force. We have every right to enter your country and seize those who you support who would harm innocent civilians in other countries that you happen to have issues with. You must respect the laws of other nations. And if you have nuclear weapons, expect them to be confiscated at first opportunity. And, if you threaten to use them, we will respond in kind before you do. After all, we CAN and WILL shoot down your ballistic missiles, likely in your own backyard, and our weapons, including neutron bombs, are now largely fallout-free.

We must make our intentions well known, publicized by radio and TV often, throughout the world. We will no longer sit quietly and watch all that we hold precious be stolen or destroyed, including our democracies and justice systems (flawed or not). If your country chooses to live in the dark ages of petty greed, power trips, and ethnocentrisms, so be it. Just understand that if you try to export them, we will hunt you down and exterminate you like we would any disease that plagues us. The velvet glove has had its day, and the steel fist must rule if we are to survive, and our institutions preserved.

Now, to lighten up a little, here is a glimpse of where I will be heading for a visit soon.

Nature Provides

For a number of months I have been grieving the loss of my long-time pal, a male cat that showed up on my doorstep in the middle of a snowstorm as a very young kitten. After about nine years of mutual admiration, he passed away from inoperable cancer.

Well, several weeks ago, a mature female cat about 6-7 years old showed up on my doorstep in the middle of a freezing blizzard. She had been hiding out in my backyard under the wooden skirt of my hot tub (which I no longer use, as a part of my current conservation efforts) for an unknown length of time, and was pregnant to boot.

This cat obviously came from a home far away, and did not have a microchip or other means of identification. My wife posted ‘lost cat’ signs around major roads in the vicinity of our home, in hopes of finding her owners, but no one responded.

In the meantime, the cat & I have become very attached to each other. She is potty-trained and very well behaved. She is also very plump from her pregnancy, and I estimate the kittens will be due in another week or two, or three…..

She promptly comes when I call, “Here, Kitty”, and she sneaks onto my bed in the middle of the night, to snuggle close, purring loudly. When I roll over, or adjust my legs, she will curl up next to my wife, who claims she doesn’t mind. She prefers the cat, I think, to my groping, lecherous, advances that disturb her beauty sleep.

But, I digress……

In view of the foregoing, I have decided to name her Miss Kitty, the Slut. It seems to suit both of us. My wife prefers that I call her by her first two names, especially when company is present.

My next door neighbor, who is an animal lover, has kindly arranged to get the forthcoming kittens to a lady friend who specializes in getting them inoculations, and spayed or neutered, and then finding them good homes. All without cost to me.

But, I am going to be saddled with a passel of kittens for about nine weeks. Actually, my wife will care for them while I am out doing important things like golfing, fly fishing, and getting ready to go deep into the southern Colorado Plateau for a little exploring. She puts up with my admittedly bad behavior for reasons unknown to me, and I am grateful.

So, without further ado, I present Miss Kitty—the new addition to our family.

April 1st Misc.

In a shocker, it was announced today that the White House is being foreclosed, and that the Obama family has been given two weeks to vacate the premises.

The embarrassing announcement stated that the government had been victimized by a predatory lender, and the irrevocable contract was confirmed through an emergency audit conducted over the weekend by the Office of Management and Budget (OMB). As the Obama family is in Europe and stranded by empty fuel tanks on Air Force One, they are unsure that they can meet the deadline. The Sheriff of Washington D.C. stated “I don’t care who they are, it’s ‘No pay, no play’. My deputies are prepared to seize any furnishings and padlock the doors if the tenants don’t make arrangements for housing elsewhere in a timely manner.”

In Pakistan today, Osama bin Laden released a new tape in which he announced that Al Qaida will no longer pursue a Jihad against America, as the country committed economic suicide recently and is no longer a worthy enemy. He stated that the new focus for the forces of Allah will be the Vatican in Rome. “The Pope’s army is puny and they wear funny-looking tights. We will have no problem in forcing them to convert to Islam, and we shall make the infidels pay dearly for his recent sins in Africa.”

In other news, an apparently artificial wormhole has opened about 20 feet above the surface of Ayres Rock in Australia. Witnesses report that it seems to be disgorging thousands of squishy-looking blobs that quickly scuttle off into the surrounding outback. Their intentions are unknown, and witnesses report that the blobs are masters of camouflage and are very difficult to make out after they move off a few feet. Following their slime trails is not too difficult however, for the skilled aboriginal trackers the government has hired to see what they are up to, and where they are going. The trackers report that the blobs appear to be feeding on Cane toads, and the numerous rabbits that inhabit the region.

And lastly, the MUFON UFO reporting organization has broadcast an appeal for help over the world-wide amateur radio network. They report that the aliens have given up on cattle mutilations, and are instead capturing MUFON field reporters by the hundreds, subjecting them to anal probes and other degrading sexual experiments before casting their lifeless bodies into the exact centers of the numerous crop circles that have appeared in England overnight.