Musings

As it is still snowy and cold here in Mountain America, I used today to trade stocks over the internet (relieving the Wall Street thieves of a little cash), visit with my Opera friend Waka, and read Lewis Perdue’s new novel ‘Perfect Killer’. Lewis is a famous author of such novels as The Da Vinci Legacy’, ‘Slatewiper’ (which I enjoyed immensely), and ‘Daughter of God’. Some of you may remember that he engaged Dan Brown in a court battle regarding plagiarism of his work as it relates to a number of passages in ‘The Da Vinci Code’.

Well, I promised Lewis in a brief e-mail exchange about six months ago, that I would get a copy of ‘Perfect Killer’ and so I did, but I just got around to reading it.

In the guise of a thriller, Lewis explores the possible quantum mechanical basis of human consciousness, and postulates a creditable theory for its existence. In the process he also reveals some fundamental problems with the assumptions and postulates of classical physics in non-technical terms. As his theory is supported nicely through unrelated ESP research by the Princeton University’s PEAR program, conducted over 25 years, I am still considering the implications.

There can be no doubt about the startling statistical results obtained by Princeton’s physics department, and Lewis’s theory is as good an explanation as any. You can learn more about it (and where to get a copy) at his website, Lewis Perdue

Now, on to some of my older and wiser cousin’s crude and non-enlightening e-mail jokes:

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of Three?"

"That's correct," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, to the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a third test, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed, and said no more.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

O.K., If that didn’t give you a chuckle, how about this one:

A man is driving down a country road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The Monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, show him to a room, and even fixes his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound, a sound not like anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn 't sleep a wink that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

The Monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a Monk, then please, make me a Monk."

The Monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find the answer to these questions, you will have become a Monk."

The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A Monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the Monks.

"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The Monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a Monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The Monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."

The Monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl, and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has now become very clear and definite. The Monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!

With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound.....

But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a Monk.