Musings

Lacking anything better to do this morning, I decided to post some random items of interest to me:

Rwandan Air Power

The Rwandan Air Force has developed as formidable new supplement to its vaunted ground forces, renowned for merciless onslaughts in battle and for eating enemy combatants and abusing civilians when not otherwise occupied.

I obtained information on this startling new development from Jane’s News, a leading military publication. You can find the source article here: Rwandan Air Power

To quote the article, “The course provided the Rwandan officers with a basic understanding of the potential of air power, to lay the foundation for in-depth courses and joint warfare courses. It began with a survey of general military studies and included air war elements as well as a short module on maritime air operations, as the Rwandan Air Force must also support patrols on Lake Kivu.”

Although hampered by the fact that the RAF consists at present of the aircraft shown below, the minister of defense has great plans for its use in combat.



“The G-series or as it is better known, The Genocide Special’, carries a pilot and a bombardier. By rotating the trained officers through a two-hour flight plan, we can keep her aloft for 24/7, including time on the tarmac for refueling.” he is quoted as saying by a reliable source.

It is envisioned that the payloads dropped will be bioweapons; specifically, Ebola-infected vampire bats, anesthetized and cleverly crammed into leftover waste baskets from the former U.N. mission headquarters.

“We have been thoroughly instructed in their use by our North Korean allies, who have also promised nuclear weapons when they get them sufficiently miniaturized” the minister stated.

The Outer Limits

I picked up this tasty tidbit from the website of the Anomalist:

"Healing the sick with the mind. Sound impossible? Not to studies being conducted at the Indiana University School of Medicine. The study's director, Margaret Moga, personally selected skeptical lab assistants to perform healing energy directed at lab mice injected with cancer cells. Expecting a 100 percent fatality rate, the results have been nothing less than astonishing. Initially inspired personally by ancient Chinese methods of herbal and natural remedies, Maga was taken aback with the results of both the control group of mice and the "experimental" group. All mice in both groups, which were expected to die in less than thirty days and those that received the healing energies focused by the lab assistants, lived out full life spans. The preparation for the experiment was straightforward enough--project pure and positive thoughts, feelings and visions personal to the "healer" through a training session, and focus the positive energy through open palms upon the experimental group. After series of treatments, the group receiving healing went into remission and beat the cancer... but so did the group not treated. This would have come as a complete shock if it hadn't already been done in studies, rigidly controlled by other skeptical scientists, before. Does the bio-mind have a large scattered field of energy that encompassed more than the intended mouse?"

Of course, I have to ask, "What if the experimental inoculations of the nasty cancer cells simply didn't do the job of infecting the subject mice?"

And lastly, The old folks at the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) have been busy with questions of their own:

Questions and Answers from the recent AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a
place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"