RebusX32 - ARRG!

By Rebus X32
Most Excellent Star Gazer.

And I'm glad I'm not you!!

Aquarius - (January 20- February 18)... A romantic hot-air balloon ride will quickly sour when it becomes clear that you and your love interest are guinea pigs in an amateurish meteorologist school experiment.

Pisces - (February 19-March 20)... The good people over at Fisher-Price Toys say it's impossible to be dismember by one of their toys, but you'll soon show those smug bastards whats what!

Aries - (March 21-April 19).....Turns out it only takes four seconds to fall from the top of your building to the parking lot , but it will sure seems a lot longer.

Taurus - (April 20-May 20)... Some may call your breast implants tacky, but at least you will have the guts to try out unconventional shapes.

Gemini - (May 21-June 21)...When all is said and done, everyone will have to admit, while it might not have been worth the loss of an arm, you were right about the caribou!

Cancer - (June 22-July 22)......You'll spend a lot of your newly found fortune on expensive cars and fast women, and just waste the rest.

Leo - (July 23-August 22)... You will survive the accident, but for the rest of your life, you'll be paralyzed with fear at the sight of cumulus clouds, blueberry pancakes and Madonna videos.

Virgo - (August 23-September 22)..... You have often wondered who's responsible for all this fucked-up shit, but that will change this year as you will be hired to assist The Director of all this Fucked-up Shit!

Libra - (September 23- October 23)...... Your Life problems will be put into proper prospective when you realize that, compared to Black Plague that swept Europe in the 12th century, they're still pretty bad.

Scorpio - October 24- November 21)... Nothing of note will happen in the part of the year when you will still be around.

Sagittarius - ( November 22 - December 21)...You will discover incontrovertible proof the Lynn Anderson did, in fact, promise you a rose garden! (if your over 40, you'll get that one)

Capricorn - (December 22- January 19)...People will only pay attention to you this year because of your enormous breast, but cut them some slack.
Most people only have two and theirs are on their chest!

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What is with you Humans anyway?

Friday, May 22, 2009 7:06:53 PM

How I came to be here is a very long story. Short version, she said "the Ruler would be home soon, but please don't stop!" I'm lucky to still have my head and atomic structure intact.

You people have been very rude to me since I have been banished to your Planet country. You and your primitive handheld communication devices, walking around in circles and yelling on them at each other in public. And the young people and their repetitious sound waves, I think they call it music, sounds like my last transport device just before it disintegrated!
The only one that has been nice to me is that weird Mr. Phantom character, even though I think he has what you call "real issues", and in need of some serious help.

But I do find the female types here attractive. I don't know what it is, maybe their very nice footwear or the lack of facial hair. I don't quite know yet..
I have heard this elixir you call Crown Royal and females combine to make a very interest time. I plan on investigating further.

And I have watched very closely this activity you people call Elections of Leaders. I don't understand this concept. It seems to me that you select one of every group, all ages , shapes, reproduction types , colors and follow them around with a moving image box while they say vile and idiotic things about each other, all the while you go yay for them?

This whole idea seems idiotic. All over this puny little sphere you divide yourselves up into small sections of territory and elect a leader that speaks a different tongue from everybody else around them, you can not understand each other!

No wonder you people are warring all the time, no one knows what each other is saying!

Have not you people heard of a SUPREME RULER!

Non-sense, all this is Non-sense!

But I have serious plans to take over, by force if necessary...as soon as my grant money from the U.S. Government Department of Housing and Urban Development arrives!!

By the way people, your atomic clock is wrong and your periodic table is incomplete!

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