Relentless

A blog of many things

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Posts tagged with "health"

Broken Heart (The Physical One)

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For once, the emotional and hypothetical heart is going strong, in fact 6 lovely months strong this Friday. As an aside, and needless to say really, I haven't advertised that I blog here (I do, sometimes, honest) to the one & onnnnnly.

No, it is the time of physical matter and tissue to break instead of the red tape of emotions. It is likely by the end of the week I will be diagnosed with Dysautonomia after failing (or passing, if you will) a tilt table test. It is pretty much the inability for my heart and blood flow to adjust to perspectives and angles.

For the past year ish this 'problem' has plagued me, but alas the end may be near. No no no, there is no cure. But I'm more than open to the usual medication keeping it in check, namely benzos like Lorazepam, Temazepam, or the like. In a nostalgic distraction, it will take me back to the days of anxiety attacks and random outbursts of passion (also known as schizophrenic episodes).

Bring on dreamworld.

Sucker for punishment and the art of being a knob

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I have sat, walked, ran, shagged all whilst coughing my guts up this week. Officially diagnosed with a throat and chest as infected as a single character from 28 Weeks Later, every waking hour (and, I'm sure, some unwoken ones too) I am spluttering and yelping in harsh shooting pains.

Yet I continue to smoke, how ridiculous is that? Maybe it's because I know penicillin works so quickly for me, or maybe it's because I am mentally and/or physically addicted to nicotine.

I have before me a booklet on giving up with the NHS. Unfortunately, this is a prime example of my low latent inhibition (yep, that one from Prison Break). I can see through the "encouraging statements".. all seem ficticious to me. All seem exagerated to me. All seem so far in the future to me.

I can only consider the present in most cases, but the fact I'm bombarded with information about the future brings a misty cognitive dissonance.

What the heck, we only live once, right?
February 2012
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