Chu Wenyi

I met Ben, who I met and co-hosted a party for the Global Volunteer program during my college year and who is currently doing his own volunteering program in different parts of China. We had some discussion on work and marriage---two major sub-themes of life yet boiled down to one simple concept of Zhong Yong (Much reflected in Lin Yutang's works)

WORK
ALWAYS GO UP, NEITHER FLAT NOR DOWN
It is like I shall always striving for more challenging jobs, to make self announced to my employer in a way that I am seeking the better me.
So this concept nicely solves my contradiction of Muddy-Clear Water+ Screw-Little Potato wondering
I shall definitely not go to the calling center as it is of great cost just to experience what is lower than my real ability, just to get clear of the muddy water in an expensive way.

LET YOUR MONEY WORK FOR U NOT U WORK FOR MONEY
This is just some awareness I shall bare in mind when conditions allowed.
Indeed at present I work for life or rather survive
Plus I do not have a bank account allowing me to do investment while I myself know little about the operation of this industry under the nation’s policy
Yet I know and shall always keep in mind , we do not work for money and life is more enjoyable out there than merely making money.
It is so sure as the saying goes : money can not solve everything yet you cannot do without money.

THE PRIORITY LIST WHEN CHOOSING WORK
I see young people of my age coming and going with their bitter-melon faces on buses when everyday they take 1 hour from home to work,
Some are sleeping, some are staring outside, anyhow just to kill time
Maybe this noisy metropolitan just hinder us from deeper reflection
With its high speed and allures from consumption, we are diverted to other way around.
What are our initiate purposes coming here ?
To expect then experience and end up with letting go ?
To digging out what really inside of us with abundant opportunities here?
Or just to lead a typical life of BIG cities-----the internationalized model of living?

Indeed it is too early for me to consider the quality of life,
I even wondering is it practical for me to be granted the right of speech of this “QoL” matter
If I enjoy a more moderate life including time with families and doing what I like
Then work itself become part of life and I shall choose one that really enlightens me and could grant me the award of life after my several years’ efforts.

Thus the concept of ZHONG YONG shows up and tells that I shall divert my direction to a balanced way, not gaing them all yet not losing them all.
I shall try to make "several squares" meet
And before that take some time to arrage this priority list for me .

MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP
FIND SOME ONE THAT REALLY CARES ABOUT U WITH THE SAME VALUE AS U
The reason why I discussed this topic with Ben is that Jackie and I have long been wondering this issue especially after we are in SH.
The problem with me and Jackie is not we do not behave properly in relations, it is more of we do not have properly-set dates.
Ben is right,
If we just want to find someone working in prestigious high-rises in Pudong Economic Zone,
That means he will just spent more time with work than us
Plus more chances of exposing to other allures
And we do not get the real thing from marriage
As a result this marriage won’t last long.

I do not know if it is proper or not that I open discussion on this issue , as this is quite private for everyone to talk about,
Yet I still leave some notes here as a mark of my reflection.
As attitude towards things can be shared, I shall continue our fruitful discussion.

Our hunting of this promising-caring-shared value guy shall be continued
We may find or just find at a senior age or maybe never
What more important is what are the priority list for this issue
It takes time for me to do a list right now, yet I know the basic stand mark after all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I dress properly and wear some make up
I finally believe what Jackie told me “we should always show the best part of us, which would potentially bring us more chances.”
That is indeed so.

As we walked back after seeing off Ben and his wife at the hotel,
We were stopped by two Indian-looking guy who asked our way to Nanjing R. and who had previously been attracted by us when we did the talking with Ben.
He finally asked my phone number and invited me earnestly to India,
Although we had some difficulties in communicating in English,
I still understand there lies more chances for me when I am prepared in the first place,

Indeed I do not necessarily need to put on heavy make-up to be appearingly attractive,
But I would get extra award when I do that in a properly way.