My Opera【Day 57】What Makes an Adult Adult
Friday, September 15, 2006 4:22:24 AM
"Do what u should do ,not u wanna do ,that makes an adult adult." As Robert Z commented after "Point of No Return".
I can understand he commented in such a way as he understands my way of doing things--too emotinoal and imaginative, which gives ground to naive fantasies and resultless plans.
The reason why this happens is, as he assumes, I sometimes do what i want to do---such as, I went on an inverview in another city just to avod reviwing the important coming Postgraduate Exam in last December;
I talked so colorfully about my little family company and shining South African Diomand dream yet i just quit it at the deadline of my tiral month here,
regardless of how much efforts i have been made and how many toubles i have given others as to get this job offer, even neglecting my expenses on transportation and unnessary secretary courses.
Beofore i probe into my further reflection on this question, i would like to anwer ellenyoung's qustion of my whereabouts in return of her concern of my blog.
The decision i have currently made and has been practied is-- I have quitted my job and stopped getting any interviews though it's a time for a new turn of chances in job market,
I am doing what i have planned condensed from thoughs and reflections from the past two weeks, that is, preparing for the 2007 National Postgraduate Exam;
Since what i urgently need is time to focus on study, i quit the job and decline any offer;
Since I am aware of my nature at this stage as "a lack of business mind and nature", i decide to go back to campus , and become what I should and is expected and will finally become--- a teacher, not an English teacher, but a techer using English to promote Chinese language and culture.
Thus attending this exam and geting myself fully prepared is what's needy right now--i really know so little of my mother tougue and its long-standing culture.
I came with this idea because i find the trousers that fit me,
because I know the very thing that will cheer me up in work and life,
because i know this is a multi-win situation......
So this offically draws the curtain for my second life phrase here in SH!
I am starting it.
AND now back to my discussions:
The first question comes to my mind is what are things we want to do and what are things that rule "should" from "shold not"?
To my limited understanding,I "should not" violate social codes and that is ok for things i do,
From college life, I learn from my own experence as to take others' interests into consideration rather than too self-centered;
However, from the past around 60 days in SH, i gradually realize that:
What i should to is to inform parents and grandparents of my safe conditions and let them worry less about me;
I wanted so much to gain social experiences before i finally become a techer at older age who share share with my students knowlege beyond books,
Yet what I should do is to reconsider this in another slant:
I do not necessarily have to be an English Teacher, just be the one that could use english well!
I could not help feeling excited as I am doing what i want to do and what i should do at the same time!
It takes such a long time for me to reach this conclusion at this point.
Though people's ideas chage with times and their ages,
Fact proves that this is what i should do RIGHT NOW, as:
I get support from my parents and their satisfaction can be strongly feel through their tone;
I get favors from several buddy friends and my boss as they support me to pusue this fit dream;
I get approvals from expeirened guys in the circle of education as they think i shall take teaching.
Plus this is what I wanted to do:
To make my english as a wing and to learn the ever-admiring Chinese traditions and culture,
To be soaked in an atomsphere of international exchanges, to feed my desire of communicating.
I could not help being excited on thinking that i am just getting my dream started, when some people i know is also doing this prep for exam in the coming Feb, when this is the 20-year annversery of National Postgraduation Exam.
Tody is the day i offically leave this company and the second day i shall be soaked in books with my interests, my "want"s and "should"s.
I can understand he commented in such a way as he understands my way of doing things--too emotinoal and imaginative, which gives ground to naive fantasies and resultless plans.
The reason why this happens is, as he assumes, I sometimes do what i want to do---such as, I went on an inverview in another city just to avod reviwing the important coming Postgraduate Exam in last December;
I talked so colorfully about my little family company and shining South African Diomand dream yet i just quit it at the deadline of my tiral month here,
regardless of how much efforts i have been made and how many toubles i have given others as to get this job offer, even neglecting my expenses on transportation and unnessary secretary courses.
Beofore i probe into my further reflection on this question, i would like to anwer ellenyoung's qustion of my whereabouts in return of her concern of my blog.
The decision i have currently made and has been practied is-- I have quitted my job and stopped getting any interviews though it's a time for a new turn of chances in job market,
I am doing what i have planned condensed from thoughs and reflections from the past two weeks, that is, preparing for the 2007 National Postgraduate Exam;
Since what i urgently need is time to focus on study, i quit the job and decline any offer;
Since I am aware of my nature at this stage as "a lack of business mind and nature", i decide to go back to campus , and become what I should and is expected and will finally become--- a teacher, not an English teacher, but a techer using English to promote Chinese language and culture.
Thus attending this exam and geting myself fully prepared is what's needy right now--i really know so little of my mother tougue and its long-standing culture.
I came with this idea because i find the trousers that fit me,
because I know the very thing that will cheer me up in work and life,
because i know this is a multi-win situation......
So this offically draws the curtain for my second life phrase here in SH!
I am starting it.
AND now back to my discussions:
The first question comes to my mind is what are things we want to do and what are things that rule "should" from "shold not"?
To my limited understanding,I "should not" violate social codes and that is ok for things i do,
From college life, I learn from my own experence as to take others' interests into consideration rather than too self-centered;
However, from the past around 60 days in SH, i gradually realize that:
What i should to is to inform parents and grandparents of my safe conditions and let them worry less about me;
I wanted so much to gain social experiences before i finally become a techer at older age who share share with my students knowlege beyond books,
Yet what I should do is to reconsider this in another slant:
I do not necessarily have to be an English Teacher, just be the one that could use english well!
I could not help feeling excited as I am doing what i want to do and what i should do at the same time!
It takes such a long time for me to reach this conclusion at this point.
Though people's ideas chage with times and their ages,
Fact proves that this is what i should do RIGHT NOW, as:
I get support from my parents and their satisfaction can be strongly feel through their tone;
I get favors from several buddy friends and my boss as they support me to pusue this fit dream;
I get approvals from expeirened guys in the circle of education as they think i shall take teaching.
Plus this is what I wanted to do:
To make my english as a wing and to learn the ever-admiring Chinese traditions and culture,
To be soaked in an atomsphere of international exchanges, to feed my desire of communicating.
I could not help being excited on thinking that i am just getting my dream started, when some people i know is also doing this prep for exam in the coming Feb, when this is the 20-year annversery of National Postgraduation Exam.
Tody is the day i offically leave this company and the second day i shall be soaked in books with my interests, my "want"s and "should"s.
