Here and Now

Starting now I have a new responsibility in life. I am responsible for bringing up a decent, rational and compassionate human being. Yes, that's right. I am a new mother. How exciting it is to be apart of this experience. I have always known I wanted to have children. Never really cared how many but I knew I wanted them. I guess I always thought I could be an okay mom. That kind of confidence can get into trouble. At least it can from the experiences I have had. Now I sit here pondering questions I never thought about before, like should she get shots and what about if I need a baby sitter? What about when she starts asking the questions like who is the easter bunny and what is a tooth fairy. These things I do not believe in and will not expose her to until she hears of them. I guess that is why we have some time before they talk. Give the parents a moment to get their wording together.
Family is the most important. Nothing but Faith comes before.It is very hard to imagine the love you feel once you have a child of your own. It was like nothing I have ever felt before. A completely different love, one that is bigger than all. This love is the reason why people are able to grow up after having a child. Once her little body was touching mine I knew this would be an inseparable bond. I pray the lord to keep her safe and out of the world. I pray I have the wisdom to make the right decisions and lay a strong foundations of values for her to grow upon. I am about to venture into reading and research that hopefully will help be become closer in all my relationships but over all closer to God and hopefully will ease my concerns. I know the Lord will show me what to do I just have to look for him.
I want to teach my daughter that it is important to exercise both your mind and body. In order to do this I need to make sure I am on top of myself and able to keep up with her brain. I want her to learn as much as she can as fast as she can but I will to need to keep up. The challenge in this will be getting my lazy butt of the couch and working out. So far I have done one day of exercise. not bad if I do say so myself. Today I go for 2 consecutive days in a row. Ha.
I want to reflect on today. My husband and baby went out to eat with the family. My brother in law, mom in law, Grandma in law and cousins in law were there and it was just a lovely day. I do believe we need to keep in touch better and go out to eat more often. I wish I had some family here but I was my choice to be here instead of where they are. I just can't figure that Killeen would be a good place to raise my child. Of course if I were to tell my mother this she argue the point that I turned out to be okay, but I feel I missed out on certain opportunities that I think I provide much better to my daughter here. So I need prayers to fill the gas tank to go back for visits. Everything happened for a reason and I do truly feel that I am here because I am supposed to be. I just hope that in all of this I fulfill what I am to do while I am here on this earth so when I look back I know I did what I had to do for everything to work out.
Well this will do it for me. I will be back again at some point to ramble on some more... about something.