My Poems and Things About Me

It was September 13, 2007. I was making my usual rounds on the gay-ass site called Gothics-R-Us.com. I hadn’t been on in awhile, so I had over a hundred messages, but, one stood out among them all. It was just a casual message not like the other ones who wanted a piece of ass. It was just a normal “Hello, how are you?” Little did I know, that sender of the message was going to be my best friend, my mentor, my life, and my love. We hit it off pretty fast and we saw that we had a lot of things in common. He was a wonderful person not trying to be someone they’re not, and that is a key factor in a relationship for me. We talked on that site, through email, or through the phone all the time. I wasn’t sure at the time if it was just going to be another heart-break or not, but, after awhile; I realized that it was real. This was the kind of love that I’ve been searching for a long time. He stole my heart. The days grew on and we still remained in contact. We couldn’t stop. We talked like that for over a year and a half. Then one day, I left. I left everything behind. My job, my home, my life, and my love. I moved to England and stayed there for a year. I thought about that person everyday….and every night. I cried myself to sleep and beat myself up for just leaving him behind with no insight to where I was going. Eventually, it grew easier for me to try and forget about him because I thought that he found another person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Trust me, it hurt so very very bad. I tried to contact him for months….then, I gave up. About half a year later, I came back to the America’s. I got on the computer and went to my yahoo im and I saw that he was online. I sent him a message. In a matter of seconds, he responded. He was kind of cautious and apprehensive about talking to me, but, I told him what happened and he understood. The next month I found out I had cancer and I was devastated, but, he remained by my side the whole time. Now, I am here. I am still talking to this amazing soul and I would do anything for him. I love him more than anyone can imagine, and I daydream about our future life together. Matt, you have no idea how much I love you. You are my life, and I hope that you can see it’s for real. *kisses* I love you, hun.

I AM THE VOICE OF THE BROKENHEARTED.

I CURSE THE DAY THAT THIS ALL STARTED.

I AM THE VOICE FOR THOSE CRUSHED AT WILL, I WISH FOR A DAY WHEN BLOOD WILL SPILL.

Im sorry i havent been on lateley. I've been having some medical issues and I haven't had the time to get on. I will be on every once in awhile,but, not as much as I used to. Sorry for the inconvience.

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Does he shower you with gifts? Does he tell you he loves you each and every minute you two are together? Does he ask you questions about your hope and your future? Or, does he say "I love you," while slipping SEX casually into a conversation? If so, DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!! Do you know what "love" means in some guys minds?

L-Legs
O-Open
V-Very
E-Easily

Please, read this and take note. If this is your guy, drop him!

Are you depressed most days?
It just depends

Have you ever considered suicide?
Yes

Do you cut or erase yourself?
Used to

Do you have many friends?
Yes

Do you wear mostly black?
Sometimes

Have you ever drawn a tear drop on your face?
*giggles* yes

Do you wish you were dead?
Not really

Do you want to be emo?
I don't know

Have you heard "the emo song"
Yes

Do you wear skinny jeans?
Sometimes