My 0.02$ on life, love and friendship

What will it take to gain their trust
And make them believe in me.
How can I make them really see
That this is not who I want to be.

I know I've lied to them before
Almost every word I spoke.
But now I want to change my ways
And speak the word of truth.

They say 'no way. you've lied before
You'll lie to us again'
'Please trust me just one more time''
But they only see my grin

How do I regain the trust they gave
That I've abused so much
What will it take to make them see
That I have changed a bunch

And how do I regain the trust
That I wont give myself
What does it take to trust yourself
When no one else does

Chris Steffens

Mott the Hoople and the Game of Life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Andy Kaufman in the wrestling match. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Monopoly, twenty one, checkers, and chess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Fred Blassie in a breakfast mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Let's play Twister, let's play Risk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
See you in heaven if you make the list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Andy, did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy, are you goofing on Elvis? Hey baby, are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up his sleeve, then nothing is cool

Moses went walking with the staff of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Newton got beaned by the apple good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Charles Darwin had the gall to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Andy, did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy, are you goofing on Elvis? Hey baby, are you having fun?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up his sleeve, then nothing is cool

Here's a little agit for the never-believer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here's a little ghost for the offering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here's a truck stop instead of Saint Peter's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Andy Kaufman's gone wrestling (wrestling bears). Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Andy, did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy, are you goofing on Elvis? Hey baby, are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool

If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up his sleeve, then nothing is cool
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up his sleeve, then nothing is cool
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up his sleeve, then nothing is cool

Man On The Moon Lyrics
Artist: R.E.M.

In a sentimental mood
I can see the stars come through my room
While your loving attitude
Is like a flame that lights the gloom
On the wings of every kiss
Drifts a melody so strange and sweet
In this sentimental bliss
You make my paradise complete
Rose petals seem to fall
It's all I could dream to call you mine
My heart's a lighter thing
Since you made this night a thing divine
In a sentimental mood
I'm within a world so heavenly
For I never dreamt that you'd be loving sentimental me...

-Ella Fitzgerald - "In a Sentimental Mood"

I tried so hard to be the perfect man,
Who gave you love as only one man can.
I tried so hard to comfort you,
Who keeps you safe during all you do.
I tried so hard to give you my all
And to hold your arm when you started to fall.
But I failed at all I attempted to do.
So I'm lost here, so very far from you.

-Chris Smith

Never say I love you, if you dont really mean love
Never talk about feelings, if you dont really know
Never hold my hand, if you gunna let go
Never say your going to, if you never really care
Never look into my eyes, if you'r gunna look away
Never say 'hi', if you really mean goodbye
If you really mean forever, then at least say you'll try
And never say forever, 'cause forever makes me cry!

-Amelia Walker

A)ccept people for who they are on the inside, not on the outside.
B)e there for your friends. They may repay the favor.
C)an you walk a day in my shoes?
D)on't tell me I'm not perfect, because I am.
E)verything revolves around me. Deal with it.
F)orgive and forget are two very different words.
G)ive up and lose. Don't give up and win.
H)elp others, you never know what you'll get out of it.
I)n doubt? Do as the Kingsland Knights do!
J)ust do it.
K)eep going and going and going and going and going and -
L)ove who you are and not who you want to be.
M)aybe life was supposed to suck.
N)ever give up, you never know what you might win.
O)pen up to your friends.
P)ass the smile on! Its contagious!
Q)uitters never win.
R)each for the stars.
S)mile. You never know who will notice and fall in love with it.
T)ake what you learn and put it to the test.
U)nderachievers never win.
V)alue your friends, you never know when you might lose them.
W)hy do you want to fit in when you were meant to stand out?
X)-tremes were meant for the pros.
Y)our young. Live life to the fullest!
Z)ipidee do da day!

A man in an office found a magic lamp.
He took it to his boss, who was meeting with his finacial advisor. The man showed it to his boss and handed it over.
"Bit grubby" his boss said, rubbing it vigorously. Out popped a genie!
"I will grant each one of you in this room 1 wish!" Boomed out the genie!
Immediatly piping up the finacial advisor said, " I wish I was on a far away beach lying in the sun and drinking cocktails."
"Done!" said the genie, and the financial advisor disappeared.
Next the man who had found the lamp shouted out, " I wish I was in the Alps snowboarding and surrounded by beautiful women."
"Done" said the genie, and he disappeared.
"So what do you want?"
The boss looked thoughful for a moment and then said, "I want those two back here by lunch-time!"
Moral of the story- Always let your boss have the first say!

-W. Meighan

Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel,
Every time you're here.
Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
And now I regret the day we met.
And help me forget your name.

-"Hopeless Love" Daphne Loves Derby

How do you decide who to marry?
Answers by children

1. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.Alan,aged 10
2. No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before,and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.Kirsten, age 10

What is the right age to get married?
1. Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.Camille, age 10
2. No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to ge married.Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
1. You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
1. Both don't want any more kids.Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?
1. Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8
2. On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
1. I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?
1. When they're rich. Pam, age 7
2. The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt, age 7
3. The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?
1. I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing; I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. Theodore, age 8
2. It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn't get married?
1. There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there Kelvin, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?
1. Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10

1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.

To-day is the pupil of yesterday.

Publilius Syrus

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country

Sir Henry Wotton

The killing was the best part. It was the dying I couldn't take.

Craig Volk

People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.

Lee Iacocca

He who is afraid to ask is ashamed of learning.

Danish Proverb

We walk by faith, not by sight.

Bible

Television has raised writing to a new low.

Samuel Goldwyn