Posts tagged with "saying"
Friday, December 9, 2005 9:18:34 PM
quote, saying
I remember how we met,
on that hot day in July.
And I remember how I felt
when your gaze caught my eye.
But I can't remember why
we said good-bye.
I remember why I tried,
because it felt so good.
And I remember why I cried,
because no one understood.
I just can't remember why
we said good-bye.
I remember how we fought,
we just could not get along.
And I remember how I thought,
'This will not last long.'
I wish I could remember why
we said good-bye.
I remember how we met,
I remember how I felt,
I remember why I cried,
I remember why I tried,
I remember how we fought,
I remember how I thought,
But I just can't remember why
we said good-bye.
Jessie Hoenow
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 11:24:33 PM
quotes, saying
The best remedy for those
who are afraid , lonely or un-happy
is to go outside , somewhere where they can be quite
alone with the heavens , nature and god
Anne Frank
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 11:21:57 PM
quotes, saying
10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
9- You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt
8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god
7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!
6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".
3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 1:46:37 PM
quotes, saying
It was a very aged, ghostly place; the church had been built hundreds of years ago, and had once had a convent or monastery attached; for arches in ruins, remains of oriel windows, and fragments of blackened walls, were yet standing-, while other portions of the old building, which had crumbled away and fallen down, were mingled with the churchyard earth and overgrown with grass, as if they too claimed a burying-place and sought to mix their ashes with the dust of men.
Charles Dickens
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 1:45:41 PM
quotes, saying
When I sound the fairy call, gather here in silent meeting,
Chin to knee on the orchard wall, cooled with dew and cherries eating.
Merry, merry, take a cherry, mine are sounder, mine are rounder,
Mine are sweeter for the eater, when the dews fall, and you'll be fairies all.
Emily Dickinson
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 1:45:11 PM
quotes, saying
We write these words now, many miles distant from the spot at which, year after year, we met on that day, a merry and joyous circle. Many of the hearts that throbbed so gaily then, have ceased to beat; many of the looks that shone so brightly then, have ceased to glow; the hands we grasped, have grown cold; the eyes we sought, have grown hid their lustre in the grave; and yet the old house, the room, the merry voices and smiling faces, the jest, the laugh, the most minute and trivial circumstances connected with those happy meetings, crowd upon our mind at each recurrence of the season, as if the last assemblage had been but yesterday. Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; and transport the sailor and traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fireside and quiet home!
Charles Dickens
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 1:44:19 PM
quotes, saying
The English, from the great prevalence of rural habits throughout every class of society, have always been fond of those festivals and holidays which agreeably interrupt the stillness of country life; and they were, in former days, particularly observant of the religious and social rites of Christmas. It is inspiring to read even the dry details which some antiquarians have given of the quaint humours, the burlesque pageants, the complete abandonment to mirth and good-fellowship with which this festival was celebrated. It seemed to throw open every door, and unlock every heart. It brought the peasant and the peer together, and blended all ranks in one warm generous flow of joy and kindness. The old halls of castles and manor-houses resounded with the harp and the Christmas carol, and their ample boards groaned under the weight of hospitality. Even the poorest cottage welcomed the festive season with green decorations of bay and holly--the cheerful fire glanced its rays through the lattice, inviting the passenger to raise the latch, and join the gossip knot huddled around the hearth, beguiling the long evening with legendary jokes and oft-told Christmas tales.
Washington Irving
Wednesday, December 7, 2005 1:43:40 PM
quotes, saying
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life
Hiba Zian
Monday, December 5, 2005 10:02:21 PM
quote, funny, saying
At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet....Miss a car payment.
Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose?
English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating.
Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!
In a Beauty Shop: Dye now!
In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
In a counselors office: Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
In a dry cleaner's emporium: Drop your pants here.
In a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.
In a hotel during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is day care on the first floor.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
In a Podiatrist's window: Time wounds all heels.
In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!
In a Texas funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.
In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
In downtown Boston: Callahan Tunnel - NO END
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.
In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day.
Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
On a butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
On a local plumbing company's trucks in NE Pennsylvania: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
On a Music Teacher's door: Out Chopin.
On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church
On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
On a restaurant: Try our fish just for the halibut.
On a roller coaster: Watch your head.
On a Scientist's door: Gone Fission
On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.
On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: Thirty-eight years on the same spot.
On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card...
On another Butcher's window: Pleased to meat you.
On the door of a Computer Store: Out for a quick byte.
On the door of a Music Library: Bach in a min-u-et.
On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: No trespassing without permission.
On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: Blackened bluefish
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy
Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
Outside a Hotel: Help! We need inn-experienced people.
Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard you coming.
Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner.
Outside a radiator repair shop: Best place in town to take a leak.
Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one Weak.
Plumber: We repair what your husband Fixed.
Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
Sign at the psychic's Hotline: Don't call us, we'll call you.
This was seen on a car being towed by a large motor home: I go where I'm towed to.
Trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: Don't sleep with a drip call your plumber.
Monday, December 5, 2005 10:01:43 PM
quote, funny, saying
Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily.
Athens, Greece hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push botton for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Copenhagen airline ticket office: WE take your bags and send them in all directions.
Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Denmark: in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
German/Austria: a sign in a hotel catering to skiers read Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
German/Germany: in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Germany's Black forest sign: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Istanbul hotel corridor sign: Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises.
Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Japanese information booklet about a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of war in your room, please control yourself.
Kyushi, Japan Detour sign: Stop: Drive Sideways.
Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.
London office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking.
Majorcan shop entrance: Here speeching American.
Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Moscow hotel room door: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
Thailand: an ad for donkey rides asked Would you like to ride on your own ass?.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.
Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
Vienna, Austria hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.
Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, you will find this message on every door: Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more..
Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Monday, December 5, 2005 9:53:15 PM
saying, funny, quote
If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas!
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
Excess is never too much in moderation.
Think globally, Act galactically.
My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.
Don't believe everything you think.
Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!
Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants.
Life is short. So buy the shoes!
Never believe generalizations.
The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance.
I don't think, therefore I am not.
Jesus saves. He uses double coupons.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I got stuck.
Avoid alliterations always.
Dyslexics are teople poo.
Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down.
What would Ashton do?
Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.
An Apple a day keeps Windows away.
This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.
What would Gandalf do?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows.
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it.
Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm).
MOP AND GLO - The floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
I'm Canadian. It's like being American, but without the gun.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
The control key on the keyboard does not work.
The meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.
Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
Nuke the Whales! We'll hunt them at night.
Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you're a jerk.
Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).
If there is no God, who always pops up that next Kleenex?
Too much Pluribus, not enough Unum.
Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal.
What wouldn't Jesus do?
If you believe in telepathy, think about honking.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
The box said Windows 2000 or better. So I installed Linux.
Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.
I found Jesus - he was behind the sofa all the time.
So many cats, so few recipes.
Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.
Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.
On your mark, get set, go away!
What would Scooby do?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Let's skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking!
I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.
If you can read this, you're not the president.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
Liberal Arts major: will think for food.
Visualize Whirled Peas
If you can read this, I've lost the trailer!
Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph.
I didn't climb all the way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
What we need is a patch for stupidity!
Follow that car, Godzilla - and step on it!
Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam.
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up!
I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.
If you can't read this, thank the teacher's union.
Procrastinate now.
The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake.
Rehab is for quitters.
My dog can lick anyone!
I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that?
Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
If you were born again, would you have two bellybuttons?
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
West Virginia: One million people, and 15 last names.
I'm out Of Estrogen and I've got a gun!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Who are these children, and why do they keep calling me Mom?
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Mop and Glo - The floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team.
NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
You - Off my planet.
If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
Earth is full. Go home.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Nyquil: the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Getting on your feet means getting off your butt.
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, closed.
In dog years, I'm dead!
South Korea's got Seoul!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.
God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.
IRS: Be Audit You Can Be
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount!
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.
Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.
A day without sunshine is like night.
First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
Old age comes at a bad time.
If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car?
In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute?
I need someone real bad. Are you real bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
The more you complain the longer God makes you live.
I R S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind - back in five minutes.
Without ME, it's just AWESO.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Life would be easier if I had the source code.
Hang up and drive.
Nebraska: At least the cows are sane.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.
Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.
I fish, therefore I lie.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
If catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Honk If you want to see my finger.
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Keep honking while I reload.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her (or something like that).
Constipation causes people not to give a crap.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.
What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0!
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils — people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.
If I get you advantage, can I take drunk of you?
Watch out for the idiot behind me.
I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol!
So you're kids no honor student. Society needs laborers.
Honk if you hate peace and quiet.
I have the body of a god. Buddha.
In case of rapture, can I have your car?
Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Your stupid!
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Don’t bother honking or flashing your lights, I'm deaf and blind.
Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
If it isn't broken, fix it until it is.
Thank God I'm an atheist.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
New Mexico: Cleaner than regular Mexico.
Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
If you're happy and you know it see a shrink.
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Worry. God knows all about you.
I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop!
Vote Democrat — it's easier than working!
Vote Republican — it's easier than thinking!
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
Squirrels: Nature's speed bumps.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Saturday, December 3, 2005 10:15:39 AM
saying, poem
Someday you'll take a picture of your friends, and put it in a photo album with plans on never losing it.
Someday you'll realize a flaw in something you trusted to be perfect.
Someday you'll regret because we all do.
Someday you'll lose some one you love, but not necessarily because of death.
Someday you'll wish time moved a little slower, or maybe you already do.
Someday you'll pray like you've never prayed before.
Someday you'll want something so bad that you'd die for it, but you won't get it.
Someday you won't care that you aren't rich, or you'll find a friend who doesn't care that you are.
Someday you'll recognize the change, either in a positive or negative way.
Someday you'll look back on that picture and get butterflies because you miss it, and you know it.
Thursday, November 24, 2005 4:17:07 PM
saying, quotes
Heart! We will forget him!
You and I-tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave-
I will forget the light!
When you have done, pray tell me
That I may straight begin!
Haste! Lest while you're lagging
I remember him!
Emily Dickinson
Thursday, November 24, 2005 4:11:53 PM
saying, quotes
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
Thursday, November 24, 2005 4:11:12 PM
saying, quotes
Man is the only real enemy we have. Remove Man from the scene, and the root cause of hunger and overwork is abolished for ever. Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself.
Animal Farm
Thursday, November 24, 2005 4:09:55 PM
saying, quotes
1. we are here to help you
2. you will have enough time to get to your class before the bell rings
3. the dress code will be inforced
4. no smoking is allowed on school grounds
5. our football team will win the championship this year
6. we expect more from you here
7. guidance counselors are always available to listen
8. your schedule was created with your needs in mind
9. your locker combination is private
10. these will be the years you look bck on fondly.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 2:37:33 PM
quotes, saying
Why did you leave me?
Am I all that bad to you?
Do I do something you hate?
I can change
Did I hurt you in anyway?
Did I do something I shouldn't?
Am I the one who makes you hurt inside?
I am sorry
Do you think I don't care?
Do you think I am not there for you?
Do you think hate you?
I do care I really do
Why did you leave me?
What did I do?
I am sorry and I do care!
I wish you were there at night when I get scared
I wish you were there when I cried myself to sleep
But you weren't
Is that my fault you left me?
I am sorry
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 2:35:38 PM
quotes, saying
You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.
You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.
You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.
You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.
You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.
You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.
You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.
You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.
You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.
Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 2:34:13 PM
quotes, saying
I went down that river when I was a kid. There's a place in the river.. I can't remember... Must have been a gardenia plantation at one time. All wild and overgrown now, but about five miles you'd think that heaven just fell on the earth in the form of gardenias...
Have you ever considered any real freedoms ? Freedoms - from the opinions of others... Even the opinions of yourself.
Marlon Brandon in Apocalypse now
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 2:32:02 PM
quotes, saying
Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
They will have more money in their checking account.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go,
and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored
woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know,
she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely.
And the word says if "If I have not Love, I am nothing."
So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 2:29:47 PM
quotes, saying
When you come to the edge of all the light you have known, and are about to step out into darkness, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen; There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught to fly.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Saturday, October 22, 2005 3:17:09 AM
Stephen King, saying, quote
There was no death row at Cold Mountain, only E Block, set apart from the other four and about a quarter their size, brick instead of wood, with a horrible bare metal roof that glared in the summer sun like a delirious eyeball.
He looked like he could have snapped the chains that held him as easily as you might snap the ribbons on a Christmas present, but when you looked in his face, you knew he wasn't going to do anything like that.
"Your name is John Coffey."
"Yes, sir, boss, like the drink only not spelled the same way."
"I'm rightly tired of the pain I hear and feel, boss. I'm tired of bein on the road, lonely as a robin in the rain. Not never havin no buddy to go on with or tell me where we's comin from or goin to or why. I'm tired of people bein ugly to each other. It feels like pieces of glass in my head. I'm tired of all the times I've wanted to help and couldn't. I'm tired of bein in the dark. Mostly it's the pain. There's too much. If I could end it, I would. But I cain't."
"He kill them with they love", John said. "They love for each other. You see how it was?" I nodded, incapable of speech.
He smiled. The tears were flowing again, but he smiled. "That's how it is every day", he said, "all over the worl'.
Stephen King
Friday, October 21, 2005 3:17:23 PM
Stephen King, quote, saying
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revalations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.
Stephen King
My Opera
