Ten signs you're a christian
Wednesday, 7. December 2005, 23:21:57
10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
9- You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt
8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god
7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!
6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".
3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian
9- You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt
8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god
7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!
6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".
3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian
WIDGETIZE
Danny Boy, FCD # 8. December 2005, 00:20
Jenny4177 # 8. December 2005, 00:38
Mark L. Jackson # 8. December 2005, 04:19
Anonymous # 8. December 2005, 17:47
This is really unbelievable and so out of the question!!!! I am not mad about what its written but of what this person is feeling and it just scares me to see so much anger toward Christians. I am sorry you feel this way but you really need Gods love in your life! God Bless You! And I hope that you really change your way of thinking.
Anonymous # 9. December 2005, 10:13
There's a difference between those who try to live in christ's image, who try to know the divine and live it with love in day to day life, and those who use the label of "christian" in order to be a part of a large crowd of people, assume political party, or feel superior to others. I get the feeling this list pokes fun more at the latter group, and thus found it quite humorous.
Anonymous # 9. December 2005, 16:45
There's so many more things that could go on that list. And to the Christians who feel he is angry with their religion, even Christ got angry when he saw things that weren't right (cleansing of the temple).
Christians seem to feel this need that they're be persecuted, when in a lot of cases it's them trying to stomp out those who don't agree with them.
How many Christians know about the gospel of Thomas and that the early church leaders stomped out the mystic side of Christianity?
Anonymous # 9. December 2005, 17:14
Absolutly hilarious
Anonymous # 9. December 2005, 21:30
It's funny because it's so true.
Anonymous # 13. December 2005, 11:29
I think that all religions are false. Through the ages all religions have sprung from mans attempt to explain that which is incomprehensible. The mythys of Greece and Rome and countless other ancient religions are no more or less believable than the texts upon which so-called "modern" religions are based, yet to this day we are willing to fight and die for our belief in them. If mankind would simply take a step back from the brainwashing that we have received from birth and look at religion from an intelligent point of view we could move forward. There are those of us in America who feel that our country is failing as each generation moves farther and farther away from "God". I do not share that sentiment. I believe that we are becoming more enlightened and it is my hope that someday we will be able to embrace all peoples, regardless of their religious beliefs. I do, however, believe that Christians are a little bit closer to that ability than Muslims.
10pins # 13. December 2005, 12:19
thewhitefedora # 14. December 2005, 00:10
Anonymous # 22. December 2005, 13:07
Well stated and kinda correct. I find the wording a little on the angry side though - so many you's :-)
Anonymous # 23. December 2005, 03:47
many ppl call themselves christians but have u eva thought of the ppl that r christian and do accept other religions just dont believe that they r true i dont see y christans should get picked on all the time i hope ull see the truth 1 day
Anonymous # 28. February 2006, 16:17
Many self-proclaimed Christians have gotten in the way of the message of Christ. This list unfortunately does sum up many people who "claim" to be Christians. That therein lies the problem. Many people claim to be Christian yet have no idea what that means and point # 1 is proof of that. Don't base your perception of Christianity on Christians who've botched things up. Just the same, one shouldn't base his/her perception of Islam based on a few extremists.
Anonymous # 6. March 2006, 18:48
Perhaps not all Christians are as hypocritical as the lists suggests, but let’s face it, many are. The motto: “I love all people as long as they agree with me” just doesn’t make me want to jump on the bandwagon.
Ivana Marjanovic # 14. November 2007, 17:38