Chaos Butterfly

This morning I was very aware of the fact that we are hurtling through space at some astronomically insane speed. We circle the sun which circles the galaxy which circles the universe. In a couple of billion years we're going to collide with the Andromeda Galaxy. Everything is just going so fast!

I'm getting married in 18 days. My sweetie hates the countdown, but I can't help it. We went to the courthouse this morning to pick up our marriage license. Then I had to get to the airport to fly to California for work. Realistically speaking, everything is going fine with the planning, but I can't stop obsessing about the details. Plus I recently got a promotion (hence the trip to CA) and I have all that crap to deal with. I feel overwhelmed with obligations. I'm exhausted all the time and I can't sleep. I stare at the ceiling having imaginary conversations with people or going over the list of things I have to do.

I just can't quiet the voices in my head.

It doesn't help that when your awake at 3 AM mulling over the fate of the universe, the thoughts are always bleak. Its extra bad tonight because my sweetie's home in Cleveland. He has the most wonderful, soothing voice, but there's a three hour time difference so I can't call him. I know that obsessing about this stuff isn't accomplishing anything other then fueling my feelings of being overwrought.

I wish I had learned how to meditate.

The first thing I do when I go into work every morning is get a cup of coffee and surf the internet. I have to check the "news" on IMDB.com to get my fix of celebrity gossip. This mornings movie quote was from Shakespeare in Love, one of my all time favorite movies. Under the trivia section was an Item about the playwright John Webster, a minor character in the movie who in real life went on to write The Duchess of Malfi.

One of the joys of the internet is the ability to do a stream of consciousness surf of the net. A search for The Duchess of Malfi on Wikipedia led to a link for Project Gutenberg.

What an amazing idea.

I had heard of Project Gutenberg before, but the scope of this amazing project just never sank in. Capturing artifacts of culture for prosperity appeals to my soul. I had always imagined that if I was President I would fund the Library of Congress, Public Broadcasting, The Smithsonian Institute and the National Endowment for the Arts to a much higher degree then any of my short-sighted predecessors. Access to knowledge and culture are important for our continued growth as human beings. Its important for our ability to make reasoned and informed decisions. To see what went before gives us context and perspective. Having access to something like Project Gutenberg is an amazing resource. I thinks it's so cool that anyone can volunteer to help Project Gutenberg by proofreading, offering to burn CD's for people who do not have access to the internet, finding items to contribute to the project, and, of course, the ubiquitous and simple act of donating money.

The idea of being a part of something like this makes me happy. It's like being able to contribute to the OED by researching the source of quotes or evidence of particular words and phrases for which entries are currently being drafted or revised. (For those not in the know... (read "a geek like me") the OED is the Oxford English Dictionary. The official description of the OED reads: The Oxford English Dictionary is the internationally recognized authority on the evolution of the English language from 1150 to the present day. The Dictionary defines over 500,000 words and traces their usage through 2.5 million illustrative quotations from a wide range of literary and other sources. It is an unsurpassed guide to the meaning, pronunciation, and history of the English language.

Like the lowly brick which becomes a part of a cathedral, we aspire to be a part of something greater. Its the hundred year plan, contributing to something great which will not be completed in your own lifetime, but will help make the world a better place.

For readers who are interested in participating in a charity with more immediate results there is Doctors without Borders. Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), is an international independent medical humanitarian organization that delivers emergency aid to people affected by armed conflict, epidemics, natural and man-made disasters, and exclusion from health care. Make the world a better place one life at a time by donating to one of the most amazing charities in the world.